The door to the garage wasn’t shut tight on Friday. The two cats took advantage and got into the garage to have some feline fun. They were in the garage for less than 20 minutes. Evidently, fun for Cookie meant consuming a one foot long piece of fishing line that was laying on the garage floor. We did not know she had consumed the fishing line until Sunday morning. I was upstairs trying to finish my Casey article when Avalon yelled that she needed my help. I said with what? She said there was a six inch long piece of string hanging out of Cookie’s butt. My initial urge was to grab on and keep pulling. Avalon wouldn’t let me do that.
She insisted we call the vet. Of course he agreed with Avalon. Dollar signs were flashing before his eyes. Nothing like an emergency weekend appointment with a vet. They kept her overnight and she eventually shit out the rest of the fishing line. Sadly, there wasn’t a flounder on the other end of the line. For the one night stay, some anti-biotic medicine that she spits out, and an emergency Sunday visit, I paid $220. I think my yank the string plan would have been just as effective and a lot cheaper.
Now you know why I need you to click that Google button. The money leaves quicker than it comes in, because I’m surrounded by dumbass cats. Plus, I think they are out to get me.
Never, and I mean NEVER, pull the string out of a pussy.
On a seperate front. I heard there are millions of uninsured cats in America. Something needs to be done!!!
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Do you want to hear my story about the $2500.00 “free” kitten?
Matt
I can’t wait to hear this one.
~Admin said:
My initial urge was to grab on and keep pulling.
i’m not a vet. but that would be my initial urge too. not for a cat; for a human who presented to me with that problem. maybe there’d be a gall bladder on the end.
~StuckInNJ said:
On a separate front. I heard there are millions of uninsured cats in America. Something needs to be done!!!
you know, millions of cats died of starvation during the depression. millions more were eaten.
Wifey comes home with 2 free kittens. One of the dumbasses falls off the upstairs landing. The fucker was limping around the house for a day, wifey and the kids started crying “we need to take him to the vet” The dumbass shattered his hip socket and had to have surgery, God I hate cats.
Matt
Our kitten did the same thing the 1st day we had it, but didn’t break anything.
I hate animals (including humans) who feel they honer you with their dependence. Cats are among that group.
I would have latched onto the visible end of the nylon line with a pair of vise grips and just let them drag along after the cat as an encouragement to finish passing it.
MA
A guy I went to high school had a cat. His mom had a new car. The cat tracked mud on the roof and hood of the new car.
I think I already told you what he did to the cat. I got about a dozen thumbs down.
Admin,
That was a very soul-searching day for me, after I got the quote for fixing the dumbass. My initial reaction was to put it out of it’s misery, in a humane way of course, but I took the high road and saved his life. Now as I look at my destroyed $1800.00 micro fiber couch, known to dumbass as a scratching post, I think I made a mistake.
We have a $3600 cat. He was hit in the face with a car. The emergency vet we took him to said a thousand dollar surgery would fix him up. I balked. My wife did not even blink. Anyway, the first surgery was not successful, a second more invasive procedure involving the installation of a metal plate along his jaw was proposed, at a cost of $2600. Thankfully, there is a WHOLE lot of credit available to soft hearted girls.
This was her first cat. Her brother is allergic and she always wanted an orange tiger, her entire childhood she was waiting to get this cat, had the name picked out sine she was five, or something like that.
I on the other hand, probably went through a dozen cats over my childhood. We lived on a busy road and you can’t tell fucking cats what to do. Only two cats have ever lived out their entire lives at our house. You feel bad for a week and get a new kitten. No big deal.
Punk in Drublic says:-I on the other hand, probably went through a dozen cats over my childhood.
Most kids in my neck took out that many in one night.
Everyone likes my cat jokes.
What are cats good for?……………target practice.
What else are cats good for………bait…..cut em up just right and you can get five good pieces.
What else?…………………………………killing other vermin.
What else?…………………………………dog food.
I didn’t know that cats where thought of as pets until I was about 20, and on a date with a cute teacher that moved into our country town. I remember distinctly because of her cat. That piece of shit tore the hell out of my arm, the girl said it had a right to be there. She moved pretty quickly after arriving, I think she decided country boys weren’t for her after trying several.
admin, you sure know how to be dependant on the system. i do believe you’re toast come the collapse.
in fact wasting $200 on a string in a cat is above inept and boarders on being assinine. you deserve what you get. i will not be clicking ads for you because you are proving to be unable to spend it wisely.
what a waste of money and time, i bet the vet is still laughing at you. and you deserve it.
Hey hugh
GO FUCK YOURSELF
I betcha you’re a dumbass. I’m very sure I’d be right.
I suggest you euthanize yourself and do the world a favor. We don’t need drooling douchebags wasting everyone’s time.
Why dont you have pet insurance idiot? That trip would have been free.
Champion also known as Dr Moron
Please tells us about abiotic oil you fucking dipshit.
Your retarded views make David Pierre seem coherent.
Admin: Give it up.. hugh betcha got you a good smack to chops and all you could do was sputter.
I donated the piece of shit ball cap I bought at the Store of Doom to a charity. Being 100% nylon and 100% polyester I didn’t want it catching fire or melting on my head when the sun was shining.
MA
Muck
Tell the truth. The hat couldn’t fit on your fat head.
@Admin: Ha! I love your cat story. It showed that inside that hard-ass exterior, you are really a big softie inside. 🙂
HZK
I didn’t know it would cost $220 in advance. If I’d known, I would have yanked that string out myself.
Admin: You are forgetting Stuck’s rule above about never pulling a string out of pussy.
When we have a dog thread, I will tell you my story about my $5,000 choc lab puppy, LOL.
This is veterinary Modus Operandi. Start by sizing up the pet owner, make an estimate low enough to get the procedures’ OK, add to it as the case goes on.
Hope, the story about your 11 year old cat is exactly what doctors do to humans. Extend life at all costs (espicially if you have insurance!!).
I don’t know the stats but I seem to recall that the last few months of a patients life eat up a huge percentage of care costs.
As for me, just let me die a natural death. Do not keep me alive with the exrtraordinary dose of drugs and tubes. Well … I do hope I have the ballz to say that when that time actually comes.
My veterinarian is awesome. Sunshine Veterinary and Taxidermy. Their motto “Either Way…You Get Your Dog Back!”
A man brings his bloodhound to the vet.
He says to the vet, “I think my dog is dead but he is a bloodhound so I ain’t sure.”
The vet goes in the other room and comes back with a cat.
The cat walks around the dog, sniffing in several places, then looks up at the vet and shakes his head “no”
The vet says, “Your dog is dead. That’ll be $900.”
The man says, “$900!!! Are you nuts?? Why so high? You didn’t do shit.”
And the vet says “$10 for the diagnosis, $890 for the cat scan.”
@StuckInNJ: You are correct, something like 50$billion/year is spend on Medicare patients end of life care, more than the Dept of Homeland Stupidity or Department of (Stupification) Education. I don’t think this includes hospice care.
The problem is that: 1) people actually want to live, 2) there is little to no end of life discussions by physicians, 3) physicians receive little to no training in recognizing when patients are entering the last 6 months of their lives, 4) we are still in a “a chance to treat is a chance to bill” mode, 5) family members may have ulterior motives for the patient living (they are living off mom’s SS check).
A lot of this end of life care will go away when the new Medicare audits (MAC/RAC, etc) start coming on line. These are audits that will take back monies paid to hospitals and doctors if Medicare doesn’t think the care was “medically necessary” or if the documentation was not pristine. It will also end when the Accountable Care Organizations (ACOs) start. That means that all providers (hosp/MDs) in a system will be paid a lump sum for treating a given illness. Say you have a diabetic foot. The hospital, ID doc, diabetes doc, surgeon, xrays, labs, etc will be paid a single lump sum and each entity will have to divey up that lump. Here’s betting that lump sum is below any provider’s cost to treat that problem.
What will happen is that any frail, elderly patient with more than 1 medical problem will not get any treatment at all but will be sent straight to hospice care. Medicare will audit charts and require doctors to document whether that patient’s disease meets criteria for hospice care. There is actually a huge body of literature for many diseases to identify if a patient may be entering the last 6 months of their lives. Wanna bet that is what the Medicare “end of life” counseling session is supposed to be about?
This is a huge thread jack about a string in a cat’s ass, sorry, we do just ramble on here on TBP!
Stuck – a cat wouldn’t go near the dogs I owned when I was a kid – be they dead or alive – as their life expectancy was measured in milliseconds if they guessed wrong. We had hunting dogs, and they were not for the faint hearted. They could kill full grown raccoons in one chomp. Cats were mere entrees to what they would normally catch.
By the way, I realized the error of my ways and have long ago given up sport hunting – I am not an anti-hunting crusader, but cannot abide killing for sport. For food, yes, for sport, no. When I fish, I catch and release 95% of all I catch, keeping only some for the table.
Hope, thanks for the info. Good stuff.
llpoh — that was a highly specialized cat … four years of med school … plus psychological training in How To Overcome Your Fears.
My Dad always said “you never see a cat in Chinatown.”
Hope@ZeroKelvin said:
The problem is that: 1) people actually want to live…
yeah, i hate pushy patients too
good points all, hope. agree 100%. i was very lucky to have had some very important experiences as a medical student dealing with life, death and medicine. and some very wise teachers, mostly by example. some of those experiences at the big cancer hospital in nyc.
Howard – perhaps you can answer this for me. Are dogs racist? I am serious about this. When I was a teenager a family I knew had a boxer. He hated black people, for some reason, and I am sure he wasn’t trained to do so. One day the daughter of the family was out collecting the mail from a black postman. The dog was on the second floor of the house and saw her talking to the postman. He went berserk, and actually jumped through the glass window, cut himself to ribbons, but got up and chased the postman off. I have never seen or heard of anything like it.
Admin
I gave you a couple of clicks to help with the vet bill. I know where Avalon and you are coming from.
One of my sons picked up a stray cat, beautiful Siamese, while I was stationed in Panama. I told the kids the cat was going to the Air Force base vet the next day. They went beserk, so I relented and said the cat stays here when we leave for our next assignment. Fucking cat was pregnant. Dropped a litter of four (we found homes), and we had her spayed. When it came time for the next assignment, Germany, damned if I didn’t relent and take the cat with us.
Long story short. 17 years and 4 moves later, the cat died from kidney failure. We spent $2,200 to keep her with us the final year. Worth every penny. She went very quickly. I cried my eyes out.
i have heard of dogs that hate black people. i’ve had some dogs who allegedly hated bruthas that loved me (but i am light skinned). then there is this mutt:
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The way we think of pets will change drastically when the second shoe drops, my guess is later this year. Nobody is going to have the money to spare to feed an essentially useless animal. Cats can more or less fend for themselves; many people will likely turn their dogs loose thinking this humane so they can ‘fend for themselves’. In the first six months after the Iraq invasion ten thousand stray dogs were killed; they were forming packs and attacking people. Some got rabies. I expect dog will be a major protein sorce within a few years.
My Grandmother had a poodle that hated black people too. She thought it might be that they smelled different (I can tell if I’m going through a black neighborhood by the smell).
Meh, buy a Cockatoo. They are a kick ass pet.
KaD said: “The way we think of pets will change drastically when the second shoe drops, my guess is later this year. Nobody is going to have the money to spare to feed an essentially useless animal.”
Blasphemy!
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I’m speaking from experience. My significant other has a long haired collie. Sweet dog but stupid, gluttonous, high maintenance, shit eating pain in the ass. I can’t believe how much is spent on just the expensive food it gets because this breed tends to have stomach issue (it’s a puker). There is no practical use for this animal. There is no real reason to have one. Unless a dog can do something useful, like find missing persons, pull a sled in the snow, guard the other animals, etc. it is for all practical purposes just a money pit.
the first dog my family had that was mine (i picked him from the litter, stayed up all night with him the first couple nights, housebroke and trained him, and i was 11yo) was a long haired collie. and, um, i can’t really argue with you there. he had a weak stomach too. but in those days, there was no such thing as designer expensive dog food; alpo and table scraps.
but you are right. i suppose mad max would not have a collie riding shotgun in his v-8 deathmobile.
Btw, if your cat is clawing the furniture there are solutions. One is get it a scratching post that works at http://www.purrfectpost.com. The cat here stopped scratching the furniture and carpeting after I got it one. He just seems to like the sound or feel of the sisal. The testimonials on the site are true. There is also http://www.softpaws.com.
There is serious danger in cats eating strings. Basically, expecially with fine string (thread, dental floss) as it passes through the intestines it gets wrapped around and doesn’t all pass through together… one end might get caught somewhere. If it is a really fine string and you pull on the one end, the string can slice through all of the cats intestines killing the cat in horrible painful ways. If it is too thick for cutting through tissue, it can knot up the intestines either creating a blockage or cutting off circulation to a part of the intestine… all of the above situations are very painful and deadly. You may be hurting from that $200 but you made the right move. I’ve seen several cats die, and assisted in surgeries to repair this sort of thing. It is fairly common and should be treated as an emergency.
Hey CB, this article is a year old, but thanks for the advice. String-eating cats are not a good thing. Got it.
I don’t know why, but I went through the comments thread.
Here’s what Admin said to hugh betcha.
“Hey hugh
GO FUCK YOURSELF
I betcha you’re a dumbass. I’m very sure I’d be right.
I suggest you euthanize yourself and do the world a favor. We don’t need drooling douchebags wasting everyone’s time.”
Or how about Admin’s response to champion.
“Champion also known as Dr Moron
Please tells us about abiotic oil you fucking dipshit.”
Then there’s this one to Muck About, who’s still with us.
“Muck
Tell the truth. The hat couldn’t fit on your fat head.”
Now keep in mind, TBP visitors, that this was a thread to Admin’s very funny story about his cat eating some fishing line. Some readers made some serious and/or snarky comments. And received Admin’s response at his crankiest best.
You just can’t make up the stuff that appears on this site. Stay tuned.
SSS
The best part of this story was part 2 a few weeks later when the nice vet who saved my cat murdered his pregnant girlfriend.
This is why we need a pet insurance. Nice story by the way, brother!