ADMINISTRATOR LOOKING FORWARD TO THE GOOD PARKING SPOT

34 comments

Posted on 30th March 2011 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

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Well, it looks like the Administrator has done it again. My timing is imeccable. Our beloved government agency, the EEOC, has expanded the definition of disabled under the ADA law to include people with diabetes. The new rules go into affect in May. The new expanded definition of disabled will only add 12 to 38 million new people to the exclusive club and add $60 million to $183 million of new annual costs for employers. Since that is a government estimate, multiply it by 10 to get an accurate figure.

I’m in heaven. With my recent diagnoses of diabetes, I’ve hit the jackpot. I’ll be applying for my handicap parking sticker. This way, I’ll get the good parking spot at McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts (no drive thru at the Harleysville store). I won’t have to illegally park in handicap spots anymore like George Costanza. I can’t wait to order my new free Hoveround. They are so cool.

And finally I won’t have feelings of guilt every day when I use the huge handicap stall at work. I love the roominess. And best of all, if they ever try to fire my fat ass from this place, I’ll sue them because of my handicap. God, I love this country. 

New regulations to add millions to pool of those protected by Americans with Disabilities Act

By Sofia Resnick | 03.29.11 | 11:58 am

Come May, employers will be required to provide accommodations for a new range of issues and diseases that have recently been given the distinction of “disability” after an update to the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission last week published the guidelines as to how to define a disability under the latest version of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, which was amended in 2008 as the ADA Amendments Act.

The document published in the Federal Register includes the final revised ADA act and interpretative guidelines, which, according to an EEOC release, are ”designed to simplify the determination of who has a ‘disability’ and make it easier for people to establish that they are protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act.” The regulations go into effect May 24.

In the most current version of the act, “disability” is defined as a “physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more life activities of such individual.” In other words, a disability was always considered to be constantly “debilitating.” The new regulations maintain the ADA’s definition of disability, but major changes come from how the terms “impairment” and “life activities” are interpreted. With the new language, “impairment need not prevent or severely or significantly restrict performance of a major life activity to be considered a disability. Additionally, whether an impairment is a disability should be construed broadly, to the maximum extent allowable under the law.”

Impairments that are in remission or are episodic, such as cancer or epilepsy, can now be interpreted as “substantially restricting the performance of a life activity”  when the condition is active.

Under the regulations, “major life activities” include “major bodily functions,” such as functions of the immune system, normal cell growth, and brain, neurological, and endocrine functions. The rules document clarifies that not every impairment will be considered a disability and gives clear examples, such as HIV infection, diabetes, epilepsy and bipolar disorder.

Formerly, the burden of proof was on the worker to prove he or she suffered from a condition that required certain accommodations; now it will be up to individual employers to make certain they have not overlooked any condition or disability that could be covered under the law.

A census estimate (PDF) from 2005 found that of all Americans, 16.5 percent of people aged 21 to 64 had some level of disability; 45.6 percent of this group was employed.

In its preliminary estimation of the effects of the amended ADA, the EEOC, predicted that the new regulations would increase the pool of those considered to be workers with disabilities by 160,000 people; but further analysis and input from academics and experts raised that estimation to between 12 million and 38.4 million new disabled workers.

The EEOC further estimates that the broadened definitions will lead to between 400,000 and 1.2 million new accommodations employers will be required to provide, which is estimated to cost between $60 million and $183 million annually. The commission notes that many of these accommodations will be low-cost, such as allowing breaks or making small modifications to office equipment.

“Just as the ADAAA [ADA Amendments Act]  was the result of a considerable bipartisan effort by Congress, the final rule represents a concerted effort of EEOC Commissioners representing both parties to arrive at regulations that hold true to that bipartisan Congressional intent,” said EEOC Commissioner Constance S. Barker in a press statement. “I was pleased to have been able to vote in favor of the final rule.”

Read the full analysis and implications of the regulations here.

Law firm Seyfarth Shaw LLP provides a list of implications for employers, essentially suggesting new tactics for fighting lawsuits. These include:

  • “Defendants are far less likely to prevail in court by arguing that an individual is not disabled and therefore is not covered under the ADA and/or does not require accommodation. “
  • Now more than ever, employers must focus on reasonable accommodation, and on whether an individual with a physical or mental condition is otherwise qualified to perform essential job functions, with or without reasonable accommodation.”
  • “Lawyers defending ADA cases in court must, in most cases, wean themselves off arguing that the plaintiff is not disabled … the employer must typically focus its arguments on accommodation – it made accommodation, the plaintiff failed to request accommodation, the plaintiff declined accommodation, the plaintiff failed to participate meaningfully in the accommodation process, etc.”
  • “The class action epidemic that continues in most parts of the country will now likely expand further to encompass mass actions under ADAAA. Some such actions will be brought by the EEOC under pattern and practice theory. Others will be filed by plaintiffs seeking class certification under Rule 23. … The EEOC’s repudiation of that approach could well mean a rise in class cases, e.g., by numerous individuals with a particular impairment, or numerous individuals having various impairments – all of them now protected.”
34 Comments
  1. Colma Rising says:

    Will you be able to go to the front of the line at amusement park rides?

    You’re killing me. I’m going to quit work, let myself go and reap the benefits. SNAP cards, medi-cal, Cripple-cards and a giant violin with a carpal-tunnel-brace-clad hand playing woe is me as I waltz (or roll by in the rascal) passed those foolish, foolish people with their false sense of self-worth.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 11:49 am

  2. StuckInNJ says:

    If extra small peckers ever make it on the Disabled List, I’ll be in damn good shape to get a sticker.

    Handicapped people want to be treated as equals — and they should be — but, why the fuck doesn’t that equality apply to parking???

    Why the hell does a diabetic get handicapped parking? What? Suddenly they can’t WALK???

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 11:59 am

  3. Thinker says:

    And the FSA grows…

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 12:26 pm

  4. Administrator says:

    Administrator orders lunch

    hoveround-goes-through-wendys-drive-thru.jpg

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 12:56 pm

  5. Pirate Jo says:

    Sweet.

    I am a healthy weight, and my odds of finding a job in the current market just got a helluva lot better. Think about it – what company with half a brain would hire a fat person now?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 12:59 pm

  6. KaD says:

    If there’s anybody that needs excercise badly it’s a diabetic. This is right online with the lunacy of declaring pregnancy a handicap. Which is it? Is it a handicap to be pregnant of is it a handicap to be infertile? I don’t see how it can be both and personally I don’t see how it should be either.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 1:14 pm

  7. Anonymous says:

    I wonder if getting a hard-on every time I see a hot girl counts as a disability. Its one of my major life activies and certainly a major bodily function.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 1:15 pm

  8. Persnickety says:

    One of the bigger “I fucking give up” stories of the week.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 1:25 pm

  9. StuckInNJ says:

    Anon, it’s only a disability if you neglect it. I think it’s called Failure Too Flog. The handicap sticker for that is quite embarrassing though.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 1:27 pm

  10. CharmSchoolEngineer says:

    I myself have joined this elite club. Looking back, I blame any fucking food company who pumped untold millions of carbs into my reach with soda, corn syrup, fast food, and whatever other cheap, shitty “convenience” item they could fathom. Shit, once it was the norm to down a whole pizza and go thru a 2-liter coke or pepsi or whatever. And now I need to find protein…guess what costs the most to consume? They’ve got you coming and going.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

    30th March 2011 at 1:58 pm

  11. Robmu1 says:

    Wow, just like that, 12 million new government-sponsored victims. And to think my wife and I tell our 11-year old son, who has Type 1 diabetes, that he’s no different than anyone else. Fucking government retards – hey, is that a disability?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 2:01 pm

  12. Administrator says:

    Robmu1

    You need to embrace your inner FSA. I have.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 2:06 pm

  13. Colma Rising says:

    Anon: It is a disability with major repurcussions… I think I’ve wasted hours at work looking at bootay-hay-hay… and my right arm isn’t a hulk from just swinging a hammer.

    On a serious note though, diabetics who are an inch from amputation can go to the front of the line, but the diabetes-to-diagnose fat people crowd should be walking across the parking lot.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 2:13 pm

  14. Colma Rising says:

    Admin: Seriously. The FSA is out of hand and I’m really considering going neo-galt. It’s really looking like a sound business solution and wise time management to me.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 2:18 pm

  15. Persnickety says:

    Colma: I’m still trying to come to terms with it, but I actually started going Galt over two years ago, without even realizing it consciously, and it’s taking me further into that view.

    I highly recommend the book Starving the Monkeys by Tom Baugh.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 2:41 pm

  16. Plato_Plubius says:

    @ Robmu

    I wonder if that means once he gets to college that he will qualify for someone else to take his notes for him like others who the government have deemed disabled are provided.

    Damn… too much of this and it might start sounding a bit like Nazi Germany when you think about it….not to say that in some instances there isn’t abuse of the system..but the disabled and unemployed were some of the first groups of people to be singled out….those and immigrants…see any similarities here??

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 2:54 pm

  17. Sparrowhawk says:

    Stuck, is that the Phoenix Wright judge you’re using as an icon?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 2:56 pm

  18. Centerfield says:

    I used to generally have a positive outlook on things before I started reading TBP everyday. It’s articles like this that make me want to go postal on a LOT of people. Damn you….damn you all.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 3:30 pm

  19. Axel says:

    Just give everybody a placard that says, “Entitled Victim”.

    Young, male, healthy, emotionally stable, in shape and causcasian need not apply. Your placard says “Oppressor”.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 3:32 pm

  20. Anonymous says:

    Haven’t done it and probably won’t but I am eligible for a disabled parking pass and I still ride a motorcycle. I tell my riding buddies I’m going to get one for my bike.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 3:43 pm

  21. Imaginarium says:

    Instead of a handicapped sticker, some are allowed to put their high skool diploma on the dash to park in the handicapped spot.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 3:44 pm

  22. Dave says:

    Just think, adding 20 million new handicapped parking spaces close to wWalmart, Home Depot, Target and all the other stores will cause billions of pounds of weight loss in all us poor healthy fuckers who have to walk a half-mile to get to a store. Health costs will decline. There is a method to government madness. i just haven’t quite figured out what the fuck it is yet.

    When I had a hip replaced a year ago I could have gotten a handicapped placard. Wouldn’t stoop that low. When I see health bastards jump out of their cars with a hanicap placard on their mirror, I can only think the handicap is mental or they are posting their golfing abilities.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 4:14 pm

  23. Shadows says:

    My mom, when I was a little kid, was diagnosed with epilepsy. She got one of those stickers and insisted on using it everywhere. I think that’s ridiculous. How does something like that effect anyone’s ability to walk?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 4:16 pm

  24. bluestem says:

    Man, we are so doomed. John

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 4:53 pm

  25. ragman says:

    Admin: we need a pic of you on your Hoveround cruising the aisles at Walmart. We’ll do a feature article on your experience. A new “People of Walmart” star. Soon you will qualify as General in the FSA!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 5:26 pm

  26. Administrator says:

    ragman

    Administrator cruising the aisles of Wal-Mart with family.

    walmartshotrnnnnn_thumb.jpg

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 7:14 pm

  27. Colma Rising says:

    Admin:
    Rotfl
    Left, right or middle?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 7:37 pm

  28. Administrator says:

    Colma

    The two on the right are females.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 8:26 pm

  29. Colma Rising says:

    Were doomed

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 8:33 pm

  30. AKAnon says:

    Admin-How can you be sure? Were they buying sanitary products?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 9:09 pm

  31. easyliving2112 says:

    I lost my job over two years ago and decided to go Galt at that time. It is one of the best decisions I ever made.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 9:10 pm

  32. ASIG says:

    Dave

    Great idea, make all parking spaces handicapped parking and give everyone a handicapped placard. That makes everyone special. Oh happy day!!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 9:50 pm

  33. TeresaE says:

    Jesus fucking christ (apologies to all Christians)

    If you are sad, morbidly obese, a drug addict, graduated but an idiot, and now, diabetic or severely constipated, you are fucking handicap and deserve “special” treatment.

    Our entire country is filled with nothing but victims. Boo-fucking-hoo.

    How in the hell do you fight this?

    This makes me a little happy that my grandpa didn’t have to live to see this shit. It might kill him or set him over the edge.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 12:10 am

  34. Colma Rising says:

    TeresaE: “This makes me a little happy that my grandpa didn’t have to live to see this shit. It might kill him or set him over the edge.”

    Ditto. I miss my Grandpa everyday because, among the obvious that he was FOR REALS, the more I think about it, the more I feel he was right. If he was alive today, I think his TV would have a gallon of Gallo permanently lodged in the screen.

    Dam I miss him.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    30th March 2011 at 1:05 am

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