OH DEER, A RETAIL FRENZY!!!

Sometimes life is stranger than fiction. First off, you now know what a podunk community I live in – because this story was the Front Page top story in my local paper this morning. Yesterday was Super Tuesday. We are on the verge of war with Iran. Probably 10 people got shot or stabbed in Philly yesterday. And the top story in the Lansdale Reporter is about the crazed shopping pregnant deer. This is the Kohl’s where I use my 30% discount coupons and buy clothes from their 60% Off racks. I think there are few key takeaways from this article. This deer is probably smarter than 75% of the West Philly high school graduates who would be challenged to figure out how to enter this Kohl’s store. I think some key facts were left out of the story. Kohl’s is so desperate for business that they are now marketing to non-humans. Dolly the Deer received an offer in the mail with a 30% coupon if she shopped on Monday. So she galloped over to the store and proceeded to create a retail frenzy. I guess I’ll have to keep an eye out for deer pellets on my next shopping trip to Kohl’s.

Oh deer: pregnant doe ventured inside Kohl’s store in Hatfield

While there may have been plenty of moms shopping at the Kohl’s Department Store in Hatfield Township Monday night, one expecting mother in the store of those was not like the others, according to Pennsylvania Game Commission wildlife conservation officer Chris Heil.

That deer, a pregnant doe, hit the handicapped entrance button at the store entrance and “just let herself in,” according to Heil.

“She was kind of trapped in the vestibule for a while until she was able to let herself into the store, at which point police were called and a little panic ensued,” he said.

Hatfield police responded to the scene after the call came in at 7:36 p.m. that the deer was trapped in one of the store’s dressing rooms, according to HTPD Lt. Eric Schmitz.

Customers were immediately evacuated, and employees were kept in a safe area as police called the Game Commission’s regional office in Reading for help securing the deer and getting it out of the store, Schmitz said.

“Officers responded and attempted to create a pathway for the deer to escape out open doors. However, the deer went from one dressing room to another,” he said.

That’s not the only place the deer went inside the store, according to Heil.

“She was running through the aisles and jumping through clothing racks, and when the deer entered into the dressing room it actually locked itself in” by kicking the door after it had entered.

Then again, there may be another reason the deer locked herself in the dressing room.

“She was actually looking at herself in one of the mirrors in the dressing room, kind of transfixed by herself in the mirror,” he said.

As humorous as that may seem, the deer still presented a danger to anyone nearby if it began to panic again.

“They’re very strong, and actually quite dangerous. When they panic like that, their hooves are like hammers. If they were to strike you with a kick, they could kill you,” Heil said.

Hatfield police “did an awesome job” keeping the deer contained in the dressing room until Heil arrived, he said, and he quickly determined that the deer was unhurt and did not need to be tranquilized, which can be fatal.

A set of large utility doors on the side of the building were opened to create another escape route, and Heil said the deer was eventually calmed enough to be led away without further panicking.

“I have a very large, heavy duty snare pole, and what I did was I quietly went into the dressing room and kind of lassoed her with the snare pole,” he said.

“I placed the snare pole around her neck, and was able then to kind of guide her like it was a leash. Initially she panicked a bit, which they normally do, but then she figured out I wasn’t going to hurt her,” and Heil was able to lead the deer out through the side utility doors.

Some minor cleanup inside the store was needed but the deer caused no major damage, Schmitz said, and no other similar incidents have been reported in the township recently.

Heil added that deer sometimes injure themselves while panicking if they hit store shelves or goods, but the deer last night was unhurt when she was released outside the parking lot.

“I let her out of the snare pole and released her, and she hoofed it down to the woods, looking for her friends I guess,” Heil said.

Game Commission officials make every effort to recover animals alive and unhurt, and store employees and Hatfield police deserve a great deal of credit for making sure that was possible last night, he added.

“For being surprised during a busy evening of shopping, my hat’s off to everyone who was there. They all did a great job keeping the patrons of the store safe, and keeping the deer safe as well,” he said.

He added that a similar incident took place in Lower Merion township last year, when a deer let itself into a drugstore using the handicapped access button and was also eventually freed without injury.

Store officials at the Hatfield Kohl’s referred comment on the incident to Kohl’s corporate office, which did not respond to a request for comment.