iTARDS

Today is the day. This is the day that 10 million morons will wait in line for hours and sometimes days to get a fucking phone. It’s a phone people!!!!

Sometimes I think I’m too hard on the ignorant masses and their sheeplike qualities. It’s days like today where I realize how shallow and vapid our society has become. A corporation upgrades a fucking phone for the 5th time, the mainstream media works itself into a frenzy, Wall Street drives the stock price of the corporation to ridiculous valuations with their hype machine, and the non-critical thinking masses camp out for days so they can be the 1st person on their block to have a fucking phone. The phone will be available next week and the week after that. How fucking worthless must your life be to sit in line for days to get a fucking phone?

The coup de grace of this charade is that most of the iTards who buy this phone for $399 will put it on their credit card because they can’t actually afford the phone. This delusional wasteland of gadgets, debt and brainlessness is a sight to see. As I drove towards my parking garage on campus, there were long lines of people in front of the Verizon store on one block and another long line in front of the AT&T store on the next block. The numbskulls waiting in line appeared to be a mixture of college students and West Philly’s finest. I expect to see a few homies talking on their iPhone 5 as they head beack to their Section 8 housing gated townhouses later today. Only a few more days until their EBT card gets replenished.

IPhone 5 sale draws huge crowds

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — Jessica Mellow has been in line for more than 180 hours — that’s eight straight days — waiting to buy an iPhone 5. She’s been woken up by cops, “showered” in a torrential downpour, and watched two taxis collide right in front of the growing crowd outside Apple’s gleaming retail cube on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue.

In just a few more minutes, Apple (AAPL, Fortune 500) will finally deliver the prize she and thousands of line-sitters around the world are waiting for. The iPhone 5 goes on sale at 8 a.m. local time on Friday in the U.S., Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore and the UK.

The phone is virtually guaranteed to be Apple’s all-time bestseller.Apple took more than 2 million pre-orders in the first 24 hours, shattering last year’s iPhone 4S record, and analysts forecast that it will sell as many as 10 million units by Monday morning. Apple’s early inventory is already sold out: Online orders placed now won’t ship for three to four weeks.

Those hoping to snag an iPhone 5 right now will need to brave a retail line. Apple’s stores typically have the best stockpiles, but they also draw the longest lines. By Friday morning, Apple’s Fifth Avenue flagship had a line that stretched down an entire city block and wrapped around.

Apple’s lines traditionally draw a mix of marketers, Apple zealots and more casual fans. Natalie Lopez, 32, joined the line at 5:30 a.m. Friday.

“I’ve got the original iPhone. I’ve been sitting on it for 5 years. I’m just excited to upgrade it to something new,” she said.

Alex Brooks upgrades his Apple phone every cycle and typically sells the old model. (An iPhone 4S can still snag well over $200 on many resale sites.) He said he’s excited about trading up for a lighter, thinner, faster phone.

The crowd at the Apple Store at Grand Central Station was quiet but large about 40 minutes ahead of opening time. The line snaked from the Main Concourse, down hundreds of feet of corridor, to a sign for the exit at 48th St. and Park Avenue. A handful of iPhone hopefuls stepped right up to the marble staircase that leads to the Apple Store — and appeared bewildered when pointed down the corridor toward a long and growing line.

People were still jumping in line at 7:30 a.m. One twentysomething man arrived breathless, asking, “Is this the line for the iPhone 5?”

“It’s the line for the express train to Poughkeepsie,” a security guard quipped.

Several people at the back of the line were heard asking each other, “Do you know how many iPhones they have today?” Everyone shrugged.

Many people in line at Grand Central were passing the time using other Apple gadgets like Macs and iPhones.

A variety of other retailers — including carriers AT&T (T, Fortune 500), Verizon (VZ, Fortune 500) and Sprint (S, Fortune 500) — will also have the iPhone 5 available for sale on Friday, but their stashes could go fast.

A total of zero people were in line at a Radio Shack less than a block away from Grand Central shortly before the iPhone was slated to go on sale.

Representatives at several Best Buy (BBY, Fortune 500) locations in Manhattan said the stores were still receiving their shipments on Thursday afternoon, and that they therefore didn’t know many units would be available for purchase Friday morning.

An employee at one Best Buy location in the NoHo section of lower Manhattan said that store is opening at 8 a.m. ET, but the iPhone 5 “will probably be sold out for anyone who didn’t pre-order.”

The Fifth Avenue Best Buy, near Grand Central Station, is opening at 9 a.m. An employee who answered the phone at that location said “a whole bunch” of people had pre-ordered the iPhone 5 and that many others called this week asking for details.

Employees at Verizon Wireless stores in Manhattan were similarly tight-lipped. The Grand Central location is opening at 8 a.m., but a representative said she had no information on the number of phones that would be available. Ten minutes before the iPhone’s sale time, the store had a line of around 3 dozen shoppers.

Related story: Where iPhone 5 will have 4G

Callers who contacted the Verizon store near Times Square were greeted by a recorded message trumpeting that the location will open early, at 8 a.m., for the launch of the iPhone 5. A store manager said he was “not able to disclose the amount of units.”

Apple’s iPhone 5 release comes nearly one year after Apple’s iPhone 4S, the model that introduced the world to Siri. The thinner, faster iPhone 5 is Apple’s first hardware overhaul in several years. Reviewers have praised the phone’s bigger screen, zippy processor, stellar camera and elegant packaging, but two major changes sparked blowback.

Apple’s redesigned “Lightning” connector will require a pricey adapter to link up with old accessories (and it won’t work at all with some of them), and early adopters have almost universally blasted Apple’s new Map app, which replaced the more-polished Google Maps. A satirical Tumblr, theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com, popped up on Thursday to highlight the ludicrously inaccurate suggestions the new app often makes.

Apple’s fans were undaunted.

“I heard maps isn’t so great, so that’s pretty disappointing, but I’m sure they’ll make it better,” Lopez said.

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Colma Rising
Colma Rising

Akanon will look like Captain Kirk with a phaser and communicator….

flash
flash

LMBO…Speaking of tards…the old gray succubuses don’t want to give up their Obama-care…It’s curtains for Romney …fer shure’

Paul Ryan Booed At AARP (VIDEO)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…/paul-ryan-booed-aarp_n_1903937.html
6 hours ago – Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) was booed by the audience while pledging to repeal Obamacare at AARP’s annual conference Friday in New Orleans …

Captain Obama…iceberg dead ahead. Increase speed to 21 knots!

Kill Bill
Kill Bill

“Find out what you’ll look like in a few years….”

I call bovine plop! I weigh now 185 when in 2000 I weighed 240.

Then again there is not much to do in sucklahoma.

Thanks Ben!

Kill Bill
Kill Bill

Psychopaths have a remarkably poor sense of smell, according to a study published on Thursday.

Researchers in Australia tested a theory that psychopathy — a severe personality disorder characterised by lack of empathy, antisocial behaviour and callousness — may be linked to impaired smell ability.

They also probably have a phone made in China and look at peoples asses for a living.

SSS

AWD complains to Admin that he, AWD, posted the same comment before Admin did, and then notes that “Admin doesn’t even read his own thread.” Admin responds, “I bet mine gets more thumbs up.”

I checked both comments right away, and at the time they were tied at 2-0 in the thumbs up/thumbs down category. Current status, AWD’s comment stands at 2-4, and Admin’s at 4-0.

@ AWD: sometimes it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.

AWD

SSS

I can post the same article, excerpt, or comment as Admin, and get 3 comments, and he gets 100. That’s just the way it goes. I’m the Rodney Dangerfield of TBP.

http://d.yimg.com/ec/image/v1/release/168295;encoding=jpg;size=300;fallback=defaultImage

AWD

BTW,

The greatest poster, commenter, and TBP regular in history was Smokey.

He got more thumbs down than any human in history. Thumbs down means you’re doing your job around here.

Kill Bill
Kill Bill

Smokey was a boomer AWD

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