I find it odd that someone wearing clothing can also be the one who forgets what the purpose of clothing is. It’s like buying a new car and pushing it everywhere.
Sweet outfit there lady, it reminds me of the University of Florida…and now all I can think about is you being eaten by an alligator. Probably because he got a whiff of those bottom biscuits.
Damn right it’s Friday, Rebecca Black. Let’s end this work week just like we started it, drunk. I mean, grossed out. Anyway, it’s Friday, she is wearing black and the way I’m tossing them back I’m about to black out, so I’ll call this Black Friday and that means we gotta give some shit away. Caption contest mother truckers! Leave em’ and we’ll send you a copy of one of our books or a calendar or something cool we found under our couch or something. I don’t know, stop asking questions.
I was gonna call Little Bo Peep here a little hussy but then I noticed I accidentally walked into the gun show and thought that would be a bad idea. Seriously, she must curl her sheep on the reg.
Sadly you never see the guys on ships harpooning these whale tails.
Anyone else notice that there isn’t a show out there called “Rat Tales” that uses the play on words to tell superhero like stories about a family with rat-like powers?!?! Seriously, where were you on that one Aaron Sorkin?
With snow already falling in the northeast I suppose it’s time to officially say goodbye to short shorts for the year. I know this is a sad time for all of us, and I don’t doubt we will see inappropriately short shorts again sometime real soon, but I figured we’d go out in style (I use that term very loosely) with a “Who Wears It Better?” of these shorties.
Rub and tugs aren’t even inconspicuous these days! That’s just deals on wheels right there.
Looking past that guy’s sweet wig, I find myself confused as to why a Juggalo needs a Halloween costume? Seems a bit foolish, no? You think Neil Armstrong ever went as anything but an astronaut?
Lemme tell ya something chaps, I don’t think this is his first rodeo if ya know what I mean.
It looks like we have an interesting little matchup of ‘Who Wears It Better’ this morning! For me, it looks like purple gets the prize AND the sugar daddy. Who ya got?
“Who wants blue balls on their wedding day?” – asks the guy who is now not surprised enough to even ask the question of why they are at Walmart on their wedding day anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 10? I’d say whatever number comes right before having my penis cut off. So -4.8 billion maybe? Somewhere around there.
America: where her vote counts just as much as the President’s vote….
After years of planning, campaigning, debating, annoying phone calls, awkward door-to-door conversations, yard signs everywhere, flip flopping, and over 2 billion dollars spent on terrible television ads in Ohio alone, today is the day we go out and vote for the person we knew we were going to vote for 4 years ago. You can go ahead and yell at each other in the comments now because that’s the best way to change another person’s opinion.
Is it possible to overdose on awesomeness?
It wasn’t weird until she started telling everyone she was the Tooth Fairy….Ok I’m lying, it was weird even before that.
It’s not often someone has a worse shirt on than a Cincinnati Bengals fan but this guy managed to do it. What I want to know, and what the world wants to know, is what that little boy is saying to his mother. Best caption will receive a copy of our new 2013 calendar People of Walmart 365 days of Shop & Awe. Also, if you don’t win, which is pretty much everyone, you can buy the calendar. Now. Go buy it now. Right now. If you don’t, the terrorists win.
Mommy Men can’t have babies can they???
Mommy…Mommy. help me…”Is that man going to eat me like he did that other boy?”
Help – my stomach has fallen and I can’t pick it up!!!
Does your belly hang wide? Does it flap from side to side? Does it wave in the breeze from the slightest little sneeze?
I’m sexy and I know it. jiggle jiggle jiggle yeah. jiggle jiggle jiggle yeah. i eat out.
Prices aren’t the only thing dropping at Walmart this season.
He’s pissed off……………..
All the scooters were taken
I feel your pain brother. We’ve all been there, maybe not out in Walmart for the world to see, but we’ve been in your shoes. That feeling leaves you a bid…..skiddish? Boo-ya! Hit em with that left hook they don’t see coming.
Lace back, pink strap, bottom biscuit trap. Something else that rhymes, the only good decision you made was your pick off your shoe rack….Yeah, suck on that Dr. Suess! Boomshakalaka!