Obama’s computer is lighting up like a Christmas tree. Hundreds of thousands concerned citizens want to form their own country, or at least their own states. The petitions are burning up the hard drive of Obama’s computer. He keeps trying to delete the petitions, like he deleted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, but it’s not working. Meanwhile, some clever hackers got a snapshot of his desktop. Enjoy!
CLASSIFIED: SCREENSHOT OF OBAMA’S DESKTOP
You may wonder why Dear Leader hasn’t yet upgraded to Vista or Windows 8, but the fact is, all White House computers are running the outmoded 2008 Hope’N'Change Operating System, which is incompatible with any private sector software.
However, a team of unionized government programmers are selflessly toiling to improve its performance. The custom-made programs include AlibiMaker, FatwaGenerator, RigTheVote2012, and others.
An interactive animated character named Screwy sees everything you do and offers unsolicited advice based on Keynesian algorithms.
The system is using advanced error reporting. Each report is thoroughly reviewed by a concerned government expert.
If you continue to experience grievances, you will see the following alert, which you must also submit.
If all fails, yet another alert will fill you with hope that change is still possible.
As the future systems will be streamlined to satisfy the lowest common denominator, future government alerts will look as follows:
An error message I got after Nov. 6th: