30 BLOCKS LOSES MAJOR RETAIL OUTLET

21 comments

Posted on 19th December 2012 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

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Very sad news to report. The Schuykill was jammed so I had to divert through the 30 Blocks of Squalor this morning. There it was. The thriving Chestnut Street Plaza is losing their anchor tenant. The sign above the Risque Porno Video store said they were closing because they’ve lost their lease. I think they mean they are getting kicked the hell out for not paying their rent. Times must be really getting tough on the Squalor. When welfare drones can no longer afford porn, the country is truly finished. Maybe if Obama and Michael Nutter could put their brilliant minds to work and allow EBT cards to be used for porn video rentals, we could save this great retailer. Now this upscale mall of squalor will only be left with the laundromat, smoke shop, donut shop, and check cashing store. Maybe the landlord can lure a KFC or Malt Liquor Be Us to open in the porn store location. I can’t wait to report the latest developments to you.

21 Comments
  1. IndenturedServant says:

    I think you meant *Check cashing” store and *We Be Malt Liquor And Shit*!

    Anyway, I’ve been too busy trying to go blind with that masturbation thing to really care about a porn shop going under in Squalorville. I can still see just fine but dehydration is becoming a problem! I might need to invest in a Camelback or an IV set up.
    I_S

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 3:45 pm

  2. Administrator says:

    IS

    You’re right, but in that neighborhood you should check the cash too.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 3:51 pm

  3. Administrator says:

    I love the irony of the church in the background and a $50,000 SUV parked in front while the owner is getting a payday loan at 400% interest so he can rent FriedChickenLaquesha Does Philly.

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    19th December 2012 at 3:53 pm

  4. Hope@ZeroKelvin says:

    That juxtaposition of the SUV with the check cashing with the porn store overseen by the (likely completely empty) church in the background is soooo emblematic of how lost we are as a society. Cry? Laugh?? Dunno.

    I’ll bet the porn store is just moving up to a bigger location. My neighbor when I lived in town owned an “adult” shop and made a freaking killing with the fed.gov credit cards handed out to the Katrina crowd.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 1

    19th December 2012 at 3:59 pm

  5. ThePessimisticChemist says:

    @Admin – People still pay for porn? Isn’t something like 30% of the intrawebz devoted to porn?

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    19th December 2012 at 4:07 pm

  6. Administrator says:

    TPC

    I don’t know anything about internet porn. :)

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    19th December 2012 at 4:25 pm

  7. Administrator says:

    Hope

    The church is abandoned. It has a Space Available sign in front of it.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 4:33 pm

  8. ThePessimisticChemist says:

    I’m fairly sure that if they took all the porn off the internet, there’d only be one website left, and it would be called Bring Back The Porn.

    - Doctor Cox, Scrubs

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    19th December 2012 at 4:45 pm

  9. sangell says:

    Here is what is being created in America’s low income communities. A new language, part Spanglish, part ebonics, part sign language. Check this fascinating example of diversity out and ponder what kind of society will exist in these neighborhoods as a result.

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    19th December 2012 at 4:53 pm

  10. IndenturedServant says:

    I don’t understand how a check cashing biz could survive in a neighborhood like that. I thought that all the EBT/SNAP cards are a direct deposit type thing. No need for a check right? It’s not like they get a pay check.

    Maybe Cash Well survives by providing tax preparation services for all the overtaxed squalor’ers and squalor’ettes.

    I’m with TPC…..I’ll bet free porn on their Obama Phones put Risque out of business. If we’re lucky, porn might put a damper on actual sex and their procreation rate will drop.
    I_S

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    19th December 2012 at 5:17 pm

  11. sangell says:

    IS

    Procreation in the ‘hood’ isn’t about sex. Its about income and housing. A woman has to have a baby to qualify for public housing assistance and medicaid. Illegal immigrants need the anchor baby for SNAP , WIC and medicaid. Males need to impregnate 3, 4 or 5 females so as to have as many families as possible to leech off of as no one woman is going allow him to sponge off her benefits indefinitely.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 5:37 pm

  12. howard in nyc says:

    my homies in the hood are only lacking education. if they are still paying for porn. perhaps i could start a mentoring program.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 1

    19th December 2012 at 6:04 pm

  13. DaveL says:

    Sure, put a large WHITE vehicle in front of the porn store. So racist!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 8:06 pm

  14. Bob says:

    Free internet porn has the Porn industry in its first-ever ‘recession’. It’s funny to read about their complaints. It’s like the old joke about the problem with prostitution — too much amateur competition!

    Just another example of the deflationary effect the internet is having on many industries, both serious and frivolous.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 8:29 pm

  15. Administrator says:

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 8:51 pm

  16. Administrator says:

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 8:52 pm

  17. Administrator says:

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 8:53 pm

  18. sangell says:

    Those look to be pretty well capitalized businesses judging from their store signs. Had to cost a few thousand at least. Probably got the money from the American Bandstand minority enterprise offices.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 9:39 pm

  19. crazyivan says:

    “Just another example of the deflationary effect the internet is having on many industries, both serious and frivolous.”- Bob

    Free internet porn is a God given right. Look it up.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 9:49 pm

  20. ecliptix543 says:

    Those nails must be from The Capitol. Nobody out here in the Districts would be that fucking retarded.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 11:03 pm

  21. Makati1 says:

    Perhaps the white car is owned by the porn shop owner?

    I remember that place and the church. Used to pass it several times a week when I went into the city from Upper Darby.

    Maybe they are relocating into the church? lol

    It’s a shame that nice old buildings are being allowed to crumble, but there are a lot of empty churches. The sheep no longer have the cash to fund them.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    19th December 2012 at 11:40 pm

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