The Night Before Festivus
(A viral parody of “A Visit from St. Nicholas”)
‘Twas the night before Festivus and all through Queens,
Not a Costanza was yelling…as strange as it seems.
The family was sleeping, just waiting for light.
Saving their strength for the upcoming fight.
At the crack of dawn on December twenty-three,
Frank put up the pole… instead of a tree.
Estelle prepared the meal that would start the rite,
Not a laugh or a smile was anywhere in sight.
George dreaded this hour that came every year,
The airing of grievances would soon be here.
Frank stood at the table and bellowed out loud,
“So who’s got a complaint amongst this crowd?”
“You two are crazy and have wrecked my life!”
Cried George at his parents who mocked him for spite.
“A Lloyd Braun you’ll never be ” was Estelle’s refrain,
“Why should I try,ma?… the guy’s insane!”
“Enough with the grievances,” Frank said with some glee,
“Now which one of you two is wrestling me?”
“So feats of strength you want? Let them begin here,
“It’s your turn to fight him, mom… he beat me last year.”
The battle was started, the screaming was lyrical,
The fact no one got hurt was …. ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!!