I feel like Dirty Harry the way I’ve been gunning down stinking retailers today. And now I’ve got Ron Johnson, the worst retail CEO in history, laying on the ground with my 44 Magnum pointed at his fat ego inflated head. And I’m itching to pull the trigger.
Ron Johnson has been the CEO of JC Penney since November 2011. In the space of 14 months this douchebag has single-handedly destroyed a retailer that has been around for over 100 years. His stunning incompetence is breathtaking to behold. I worked for a horrible retail CEO at IKEA named Pernille Lopez. She was as dumb as a sack of hammers, but she was unable to destroy IKEA. Johnson arrived at JC Penney with his Apple Ego and $400 million fortune and proceeded to prove that a retard could have done a better job by throwing darts at a list of ideas to improve the company.
It is almost incomprehensible what he has been able to accomplish in one year on the job. Here is a link to their results.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/j-c-penney-company-inc-213101438.html
Here is the verdict:
- In a virtually impossible feat, this guy was able to REDUCE JC Penney sales by $4.3 BILLION in one fucking year. I swear to God a retarded shit eating monkey couldn’t accomplish that feat. This is a stunning 25% reduction in sales. And it actually got worse in the 4th quarter, with a 28% decline. The 28% decline INCLUDED an extra week of sales versus the prior year.
- Comparable store sales in the 4th quarter were down 31.7%.
- He managed to LOSE $552 million in one quarter and $985 million for the year. The year before he arrived they lost $152 million.
- He managed to lose $600 million of cash in one year. He only has $930 million left.
- While Macys online sales went up 47%, JC Penny online sales plunged by 33%. This guy can’t get bricks and mortar or online right. He’s a jack-off of all trades.
- Gross margins are plunging and inventory has dropped by $550 million.
- Interestingly, their merchandise payables are up 10%. Someone is a little slow paying their bills. When suppliers start to get worried, it will be all over Ron Johnson.
- This is a company that was using its “spare” cash to buyback stock when it was $50 a share. Today it is trading at $18 a share. Target and Home Depot are using this same strategy today.
Ron Johnson is a disgrace. JC Penney is a public company and its Board of Directors are a disgrace. This asshole should be fired immediately. They are paying this motherfucker millions to drive this company into the ground. It seems his free kids haircuts on Sundays didn’t turn things around. To show you what a fucking ego he has, he didn’t even move to Plano Tx when he took the job. He still lives in San Francisco and commutes several times a week in a corporate jet.
After concluding the worst year ever by a retailer of this size, here is what this rocket scientist had to say:
“We have accomplished so much in the last twelve months. We believe the bold actions taken in 2012 will materially improve the Company`s long-term growth and profitability.”
Delusional doesn’t come close to describing this asshole. The hubris of making a statement like that is appalling. He should be on his fucking knees apologizing to the employees and few remaining customers for the atrocious management and dreadful decisions he has made. But you will hear none of that. He doesn’t give a fuck about the thousands of employees who will lose their jobs when this disaster sinks to the bottom of the retail graveyard. He is responsible for 159,000 employees. Most or all will lose their jobs. This fucker will get a $10 million severance package and fly off to his gated estate in Silicon Valley. I love watching the Wall Street dickheads who have continually come out with positive reports on this dog of a company be proven to be shills and shysters.
You can checkout my previous thoughts about Mr. Johnson here:
May 2012 – http://www.theburningplatform.com/?p=34521
August 2012 – http://www.theburningplatform.com/?p=38725
September 2012 – http://www.theburningplatform.com/?p=40416
November 2012 – http://www.theburningplatform.com/?p=43752
December 2012 – http://www.theburningplatform.com/?p=45560
I’ve decided that my new theme song is from my boys the Black Keys. My predictions make me a Lonely Boy but when I’m right, I gots to dance.
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There will be 1,107 of these in the next few years.
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I like to put a face with a name.
He looks like?
a. infomercial salesman
b. self-help author/seminar huckster
c. used care salesman
d. J.C. Penny assistant manager
e. Sears men’s wear associate
f. Manager at Applebee’s
g. serial rapist
h. Treasury secretary
i. U. of Phoenix dean
j. Cruise director at Carnival Cruises
k. victim in Dexter season 6
l. Crest whitening strips model
m. Hair club for men spokesman
n. Mayor of Muddy, Illinois (pop. 55)
o. former semi-professional bowler
p. dipstick installer at Ford plant in Teaneck
q. Life insurance salesman
r. fluffer for gay porn stars
s.test subject for experimental STD treatments
t. Slept with the xanax-addicted Bush daughter
u. Poster boy for Viagra
v. T.V. disability lawyer
W Megachurch pastor/Televangelist
x. defrocked priest (buggering little boys)
y. owned string of abortion clinics
z. invented vibrating “dilly vibes” rectal iphone app while at Apple.
out of letters….
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Anyone remember S.H Kress?
As usual Administrator you’re too hard on people with good ideas that will take a while to pan out.
As usual you want a quick fix instead of a lasting solution that may need months and years to show results.
Ron Johnson’s a proven commodity who will produce given time. He’s like Ben Bernanke who will fix the economy if you get off his back. He’s like us Neo-Cons and The Project For The New American Century. We have a solution for world peace and American prosperity that will bear fruit given time and a good chance. Johnson is also like the banks, big business, and Obama. They have more information and expertise than you or any of their critics. Give them all the same chance that they’d give you were you in their position and everything will be just fine.
Not sure if iRak is on the correct timeline. The future is here
Admin & AWD: Was “All of the above” one of the choices? Hilarious. What a maroon.
As the Big Retailers become smaller regional ones in the future perhaps the mom and pop stores that were destroyed by these chains will return. I doubt they’ll get the same tax breaks the Mega Chains got though .
HARVARD MBA – WORST RETAIL CEO IN WORLD HISTORY
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It’s the customer’s fault. They just don’t understand Ron’s brilliance. He is an Ivy Leaguer.
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He’s smiling because he knows he will get a $10 million severance after he completely destroys the franchise. Wall Street shysters will recommend buying the stock today, just like they did when the stock was $50.
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JC Penney stock was $82 six years ago. Today it is $18. Wall Street has told you to buy it the whole way down.
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Admin
It seems you have a real hard-on for that Johnson.
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Ackman Down Over $180MM On JCPenney As CDS Crosses 1000 bps
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 02/28/2013 10:09 -0500
While last night’s earnings (and conference call) were anything but promising, credit markets appear to have grown even more concerned about JCP’s future than the equity market. As Barclays notes that JCP will “likely need bridge liquidity”, CDS on JCP has surged 90bps crossing the worrying 1000bps level (+1.5pts to 15pts upfront), implying fears of insolvency growing very fast. With Groupon having lost a quarter of its market-cap this morning, it appears JCP is not be outdone as it stock (and Ackman’s dreams) cross the down 20% mark. The question is – will Icahn provide the DIP financing? Finally: why, oh why, can’t JCP just expand its multiple a few turns: works for the S&P every day, and after all it’s not like cash flow, or rather lack thereof, matters in the New Normal.
Via Barclays Credit:
We are reaffirming our Underweight recommendation on JCP. We expect sales trends, traffic, and margins to remain negative through the next two quarter as JCP undertakes the repositioning of its Home department, which we expect to be disruptive to the selling floor. JCP indicated it plans to continue to fund the transformation out of operating cash flow; however, we believe JCP is likely to need to bridge liquidity (or simply source liquidity) through drawing its credit facility by the second quarter. We fundamentally remain skeptical that the company will be able to drive the “trendsetters, starry-eyed, and sexy” (to use the company’s branding of these targeted customers), into the shops (it is doubtful that this demographic knows what a pre-print advertisement is, in our view).
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Please don’t use that picture of the PSA B727 over San Diego any more. I knew one of the pilots.
Z,
Kress was like Woolworth. Little seedier, but same concept. My neighbor in Stockton, CA was the manager. He had a ice cream freezer in his detacted garage where he stored those three gallon ice cream containers from the store. We as kids would sneak into the garage with our hunting knives and carve out big chucks of ice cream on hot summer days. Fun!
They would have been better off if they had hired Doc Johnson.
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