Ms. Freud is home today and has refused my pleading to not turn on CNN. However, as a lifelong Catholic (barely active) she flat out insisted on watching the Select-A-Pope spectacle on CNN.
Now, I was raised Catholic also (lapsed over 30 years), so the pomp and circumstance rituals were of no great surprise. What was surprising was my tremendous revulsion at their Other Worldly fantasy … almost to the point of throwing my glass of lemon-carrot juice at the television screen.
A bunch of old fuck men, mostly white, all serial masturbators (unless God changes males hormones to become less horny when faggots devote their lives to Him), wearing funny hats, and …. dresses, acting all solemn and important, as if God gives a fuck who THEY elect as the next Dope …. Errr, Pope. Kind of mind-blowingly absurd once you realize God can’t even hook up two normal humans without the benefit of ChristianMingle.com.
It’s just an all-boys club … complete with secret handshakes, secret oaths, and performing The Nasty in secret with little boys all over the world. It truly reminds me Jackie Gleason’s Moose Lodge on the Honeymooners, … they had secret handshakes too, as stupid little boys are wont to do. Only, these ass-clown Cardinals have an audience of about a billion people waiting to see the results of their secret balloting …. whether or not black or white smoke wafts from their little chimney.
Seriously, this religion has such a Comic Bookish feeling about it. A crappy Comic Book, at that.
Select-A-Pope … that’s the main thrust of this thread. Won’t spend too much time bashing that religion except to mention 5 other beliefs, plus a Bonus, that live on the Edge of Ridiculousness ….. things that make me wonder why there are any adult Catholics at all.
1– Papal Infallibility — assholes!! He’s a human being. All humans make mistakes. A quick and cursory glance regarding various popes will clear up any doubt how fucked in the head they are.
2– Indulgences —- aka, Let’s Make A Deal with God regarding how long someone gets tortured. Listen up numnuts, a God who takes pleasure in torturing the shit out of his created beings, isn’t one who is going to bargain. You’re pretty much fucked.
3—Transsubstantiation — the utterly childish belief that fermented grapes (bought at a store) magically and LITERALLY becomes Jesus’ actual blood …. and that a cracker (bought at a store) becomes literally Jesus’ body. I couldn’t believe this shit if I was high on two ounces of LSD.
4– Joseph never fucked Mary —– not once, not ever, even though the Bible says Jesus had brothers and sisters.
5)– Intersession —– the idea that a Priest is even needed as the link between you and God. Utter and total horseshit found nowhere in Scripture.
Bonus: The Doctrine of Look Away and STFU …… the principle whereby a Man of God can suck little boys dicks to his delight, and if he gets caught, merely gets reassigned to another parish.
The scary part of all this is that hundreds of millions of people believe this shit. You might even be one of them. (Don’t take this rant personally.) Cockroaches don’t believe this shit, and that’s why they’ll survive our demise.