THE MENTAL DISEASE known as CATHOLOCISM

78 comments

Posted on 12th March 2013 by Stucky in Economy

,

Ms. Freud is home today and has refused my pleading to not turn on CNN. However, as a lifelong Catholic (barely active) she flat out insisted on watching the Select-A-Pope spectacle on CNN.

Now, I was raised Catholic also (lapsed over 30 years), so the pomp and circumstance rituals were of no great surprise. What was surprising was my tremendous revulsion at their Other Worldly fantasy … almost to the point of throwing my glass of lemon-carrot juice at the television screen.

A bunch of old fuck men, mostly white, all serial masturbators (unless God changes males hormones to become less horny when faggots devote their lives to Him), wearing funny hats, and …. dresses, acting all solemn and important, as if God gives a fuck who THEY elect as the next Dope …. Errr, Pope. Kind of mind-blowingly absurd once you realize God can’t even hook up two normal humans without the benefit of ChristianMingle.com.

It’s just an all-boys club … complete with secret handshakes, secret oaths, and performing The Nasty in secret with little boys all over the world. It truly reminds me Jackie Gleason’s Moose Lodge on the Honeymooners, … they had secret handshakes too, as stupid little boys are wont to do. Only, these ass-clown Cardinals have an audience of about a billion people waiting to see the results of their secret balloting …. whether or not black or white smoke wafts from their little chimney.

Seriously, this religion has such a Comic Bookish feeling about it. A crappy Comic Book, at that.

Select-A-Pope … that’s the main thrust of this thread. Won’t spend too much time bashing that religion except to mention 5 other beliefs, plus a Bonus, that live on the Edge of Ridiculousness ….. things that make me wonder why there are any adult Catholics at all.

1– Papal Infallibility — assholes!! He’s a human being. All humans make mistakes. A quick and cursory glance regarding various popes will clear up any doubt how fucked in the head they are.

2– Indulgences —- aka, Let’s Make A Deal with God regarding how long someone gets tortured. Listen up numnuts, a God who takes pleasure in torturing the shit out of his created beings, isn’t one who is going to bargain. You’re pretty much fucked.

3—Transsubstantiation — the utterly childish belief that fermented grapes (bought at a store) magically and LITERALLY becomes Jesus’ actual blood …. and that a cracker (bought at a store) becomes literally Jesus’ body. I couldn’t believe this shit if I was high on two ounces of LSD.

4– Joseph never fucked Mary —– not once, not ever, even though the Bible says Jesus had brothers and sisters.

5)– Intersession —– the idea that a Priest is even needed as the link between you and God. Utter and total horseshit found nowhere in Scripture.

Bonus: The Doctrine of Look Away and STFU …… the principle whereby a Man of God can suck little boys dicks to his delight, and if he gets caught, merely gets reassigned to another parish.

.

The scary part of all this is that hundreds of millions of people believe this shit. You might even be one of them. (Don’t take this rant personally.)  Cockroaches don’t believe this shit, and that’s why they’ll survive our demise.

78 Comments
  1. Eddie says:

    They are still powerful men. Sad, but true.

    12th March 2013 at 8:44 pm

  2. Pirate Jo says:

    “the Select-A-Pope spectacle” good work summing it up nicely.

    12th March 2013 at 8:50 pm

  3. Gayle says:

    #6. The doctrine of purgatory

    12th March 2013 at 9:04 pm

  4. Llpoh says:

    Stucky is the Anti-z. Very funny stuff.

    12th March 2013 at 9:04 pm

  5. Jeebus, who talks to the pope says:

    Stuckenheeb,

    You should be more careful when talking about the pope. He is divine humanity personified. It just so happens that humanity is a bunch of soulless degenerate heathens. Do not further your case for the underworld. I am watching you.

    funny-pope-darth-sidious(1).jpg

    12th March 2013 at 9:04 pm

  6. Llpoh says:

    Damn, Ratzinger sure looks like the Star Wars Emperor. Gives me the Willies.

    12th March 2013 at 9:08 pm

  7. ZombieDawg says:

    christianity-300×300.png

    12th March 2013 at 9:17 pm

  8. ZombieDawg says:

    Picture handling leaves a lot to be desired..
    Database conenction errors, no rendering of PNG…

    12th March 2013 at 9:19 pm

  9. The REAL Jeebus, not that doppleganger fucker says:

    A hundred million Catholics in America …. and not one of you little Pope Worshippers is defending MY represenative on earth??

    All of you will burn in Hell.

    And I’m not answering any more of your prayers either. (99.999% of them were retarded anyway.)

    12th March 2013 at 9:20 pm

  10. JIMSKI says:

    Poor stucky, still not able to separate the word. The acts. And the actors.

    I will agree that the history of the Catholic faith is full of evil deeds and acts. That’s what you gett with a god that will allow you freedom of choice. To eat of the forbidden fruit or to be the forbidden fruit , that is the question.

    Religion is established by falible men. Followed by falible men. To believe otherwise is sad. Having said all of that the catholic faith has done some pretty aswome things.

    For proof of gods love I give you, beer. Thank you trappist monks.

    12th March 2013 at 9:21 pm

  11. Jeebus, who picks the Pope says:

    Stuck,

    Remember when you were young and wanted to be the Pope?

    pope-funny-hat1.jpg

    12th March 2013 at 9:22 pm

  12. The REAL Jeebus, not that doppleganger fucker says:

    ZombieDawg

    PNG = Pope’s Not God …. that’s why I won’t allow your stupid pic to be “rendered”.

    Grow some fuckin balls and switch to Firefox …. (I LOVE fire … and so will you)

    12th March 2013 at 9:23 pm

  13. printmemoney says:

    Better than Mormonism

    And they gotz zee gold so they can make the rulz

    12th March 2013 at 9:24 pm

  14. Jeebus, who pokes the pip says:

    Stuckencondoms

    pope-condoms.jpg

    12th March 2013 at 9:27 pm

  15. Jeebus, from Camden says:

    All worship the Bishop of Camden

    popemobile.jpg

    12th March 2013 at 9:32 pm

  16. johnQpublic says:

    though i have a deep belief in god, i have little faith in my church. but i sure would like to know what they have stashed in that library below the vatican.

    who are you who thinks he know the difference between good and evil, right and wrong?–G

    12th March 2013 at 9:42 pm

  17. KaD says:

    Jimski: We can thank monks for champagne too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champagne

    The oldest recorded sparkling wine is Blanquette de Limoux, which was apparently invented by Benedictine Monks in the Abbey of Saint Hilaire, near Carcassonne in 1531. They achieved this by bottling the wine before the initial fermentation had ended.

    12th March 2013 at 9:44 pm

  18. stalker says:

    el stucko, no doubt that last: The Doctrine of Look Away and STFU was inspired by someone who was trying to watch the proceedings on CNN.
    aberrations aside, where would we be without a God fearing remnant to intercede for us sinners? oh, wait we don’t really have representatives in congress and we can’t afford lobbyists.

    so george carlin was a cynic, look where it got him, dead as a fucking fuckhead. as al pacino said in scarface, you stupid fuck, look at you now. priests have to cleanse themselves first before they can pray for your worn out soul. give ‘em a break.

    12th March 2013 at 9:45 pm

  19. Jeebus, In New Jersey says:

    Stucky,

    I’m coming after you now. You posted a picture of a nipple. And not just any picture of a nipple, the virgin Mary’s nipple, the most holiest nipple ever. Hell hath no fury like a virgin Mary scorned.

    292367_410050535727691_1701232030_n.jpg

    Remember-Pope.jpg

    12th March 2013 at 10:07 pm

  20. SAH says:

    @JIMSKI – if ‘beer’ is proof of God’s love, then the Catholic Church and their monks are truly fucked… Ancient Egyptians had beer (drinking huge clay pots of it with a straw) and worshiped a divine mother (Isis) and her son (Horus) who was conceived under dubious circumstances (the father Osiris was not alive when Horus was conceived, thus Horus was born from immaculate conception). The Egyptians were doing all of this at least 3,000 years before the founding of the Catholic Church, maybe longer. But even the ancient Egyptians don’t get first dibs on God’s love. That would be the Sumerians of ancient Iraq, who were brewing beer not only before the existence of the Catholic Church but also roughly 6,000 years before the supposed birth of Christ.

    12th March 2013 at 10:09 pm

  21. Stucky says:

    Little known fact: Moses was drunk on beer when he heard voices coming from a burning bush.

    12th March 2013 at 10:20 pm

  22. SAH says:

    While we are crediting Monks – lets not forget that no one has refined the art of fudge packing like those Catholic Monks.
    2188
    Chocolate Fudge Royale with Nuts

    Those monks take their fudge packing very seriously.
    http://www.brigittine.org/monks/confec0721.htm

    12th March 2013 at 10:31 pm

  23. SAH says:

    2188

    12th March 2013 at 10:33 pm

  24. Chicago999444 says:

    I love you, Stucky. I hope you’re good-looking.

    12th March 2013 at 11:40 pm

  25. Makati1 says:

    Somewhere I read that there are 3 centers of the New World Order…
    1. Vatican – Religion
    2. City of London – Money
    3. Washington DC -War

    The Catholic Corporation has been involved in all of the worse events in history and on the evil side, not the good. If there is a god, he must be from the dark side of the force. They are losing power here in the Philippines and they are having a heart attack over it. Imagine, allowing someone to use condoms or plan their families or even not have kids if they so choose! How evil! (Or so the Church claims.) Mormons are in the same boat but are new comers to the game.

    12th March 2013 at 11:50 pm

  26. Welshman says:

    Stucky,

    Good stuff, but I was raised a Mormon and the anti-moron stuff keeps me busy. Good rants mostly, you have to keep a straight face when talking about religion.

    12th March 2013 at 11:52 pm

  27. Stucky says:

    Here, Chicago, judge for yourself!

    HAHAHA.jpg

    12th March 2013 at 11:56 pm

  28. Zarathustra says:

    Did someone say Mormon?

    13th March 2013 at 12:12 am

  29. Stucky says:

    Chicago999444

    I am a very handsome fellow, and also
    3ovaew.jpg

    13th March 2013 at 12:31 am

  30. Stucky's Cat Speaks says:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRXITAsonKHufecKQQq047oTcN3IOo8iUZdU3payuIFdUclcBwWw

    13th March 2013 at 12:32 am

  31. SSS says:

    Stucky

    This is a sad post ….. on so many levels.

    13th March 2013 at 12:36 am

  32. Nonanonymous says:

    Sure, egyptians had beer, after Joseph gave it to them to help preserve some of their corn crop. Israeli s are one of the worlds oldest civilizations. I wouldn’t fuck with God’s people, no matter how dissolusioned, Herr Stuck. Find a support group,.preferably Christian, and find God.

    13th March 2013 at 6:44 am

  33. Stucky says:

    Nonanonymous

    Thank you for your concern regarding my spiritual welfare.

    In terms of fucking “with God’s people”. I have no idea what that even means.

    Regarding me needing to “find God”, well … I accepted Jeebus as my personal Lord and Savior back when I was in my 20’s. I am a firm proponent of the doctrine, “Once saved, ALWAYS saved”. My own version of a Perpetual Life Insurance Policy … covered cradle to grave and beyond.

    See you at the Pearly Gates.

    13th March 2013 at 10:18 am

  34. Frenchie says:

    Stuckenschitzel,

    the real mental disease common to all western countries is to appear weak and divided in front of muslims.
    it’s kind of strange that you waste your precious time to spew such protestant shit.
    It’s clear to me that I dont give a flying fuck about the pope’s election, neither I do about the number of time they shake the pecker a day. shut the TV, problem solved.
    now, it’s equally clear to me that the protestant financial world, strongly backed by the jews that (almost) control it, is currently aiming its power of destruction at all the lower catholic states of Europe. they asked the Vatican to remove the former pope, and that’s what they did…and guess what? 2 days later, the ATMs of the Vatican were allowed to function again. you have no idea of the financial war Wall Street is doing to the church.
    if something like the catholic church was to collapse, it would widely help the muslims to make Europe theirs. that’s their goal, and they are very active with the Qatar and Saudis behind.
    the destruction of the catholic values you deny is the first step
    colonisation and creation of an ethnic majority is the second step
    civil wars and extermination of Christians is the last step, like in Turkey, Bosnia, Kosovo, ect…
    if the financial SOBs think they will go scott free, they’re WRONG.
    if you think as an individual, that you don’t care and that it won’t splatter on your shoes, you’re WRONG.

    I chose my shit

    13th March 2013 at 10:44 am

  35. Stucky says:

    Frenchie

    I just gave you a thumbs up. I don’t know why cuz I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about regarding Popes and ATMs.

    I just like you. You’re like a European version of Smokey.

    If you do get a thumbs down, it’s from Zara. He likes moooslims.

    13th March 2013 at 11:15 am

  36. TeresaE says:

    Stucky, thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Watching and listening to the pope choosing is right up there with Sunday’s dog and pony political “news” circuit.

    It makes me question my sanity.

    Thanks for the smiles and camaraderie.

    Nonanonymous, the Joos are working for the Protestants? Wow, the things I learn.

    And finally, Stucky says, “…Little known fact: Moses was drunk on beer when he heard voices coming from a burning bush…”

    Another little known fact, I read in an autobiography of FDR (been years, don’t ask which one, I really don’t know) that when Pearl Harbor was attacked, and during the time that FDR was deciding (pretending to decide) to declare/enter the war, he had a sinus infection.

    Sinus infections were routinely treated by cocaine in the 40s – it opens the sinus passages.

    So, odds are real good, that FDR was tweaking out of his mind on coke while deciding the fate of millions of America’s sons.

    Just sayin’.

    ps – please don’t tell SSS that the founding fathers also routinely grew – and used – marijuana, that much reality isn’t good for his old heart.

    13th March 2013 at 12:25 pm

  37. Frenchie says:

    Stucky,

    I will try to explain.
    the jew state wet dream is to push muslims to attack catholics christians, and to get rid of both.
    they have to give the money back for what has been done during WW2, and they have to get rid of a maximum number of muslims.
    they don’t like to do the dirty job, that’s why they pretty well succeded in this task with the help of AIPAC in the US. note that they regard the protestant US majority as “allies”, but I should say proxies.
    if you want the muslims to attack catholics, you have to weaken Rome’s church.
    muslims always attack when they think they’re the strongest.
    catholic church has roten from the inside thanks for corruption, big money, sex scandals, ect…
    this has always happen thanks for “outside” help…
    now that the tilting point is reached, financial sanctions directed at the Vatican’s banks equal those aimed at Iran or Syria. we’re talking about the ability to transfer money from state to state, and as a collateral consequence, to use ATMs in this area.
    what wall street wants is the catholic’s gold (a huge bunch) to allow dollar to continue for a while. what others want is the church to be weaker and to appear as an easy prey unable to protect its believers. if you lose money, you lose media control and game is over.

    you can check what happens today for catholics in Nigeria and other area of the world.
    tomorrow it will be in Europe. muslims could be shown the exit door if it wasn’t for socialistas in Europe. but it won’t be, and I can bet on a civil war in less than 50 years with a heavy toll on both sides. guess why all medias owners and top socialistas brass are jew in my area, and why they protect muslims, allow them to do the nasty, and block the rise of far right? one stone, two birds.
    see the point?

    best regards.

    13th March 2013 at 12:38 pm

  38. Stucky says:

    Frenchie

    Thank you for taking the time to post your response.

    I do see the point.

    I have relatives in Austria, which has a significant Turkish (mooslim) population. My peeps over there hate the mooslims.

    Strangely enough, their chief complaint is not religious, but social. The mooslims simply refuse to assimilate … to learn the language, accept the majority customs, etc. They are “guests” of the country, but act like they are “masters”, even wanting special priviledges regular Austrians don’t have.

    The response of some Austrian politicians has been to enact laws to effectively push the mooslims out of the country. The movement is still small, but growing. Nationalism and Patriotism are making a comeback. If successful, the mooslims will be toast.

    13th March 2013 at 1:12 pm

  39. Stucky says:

    TeresaE — you’re welcome.

    SSS — just for you
    tumblr_l4l54ziDJq1qa3nfro1_500.jpg

    thomas-jefferson-marijuana-hemp1.jpgThomas-Jefferson-Toking.jpg

    13th March 2013 at 1:17 pm

  40. Frenchie says:

    Stucky,

    a fair percentage of the population is preparing for war at middle term.

    due to how the socialist shit is poisoning minds of 1/3 of the population in France, there will no other solution than civil war.
    same fate in Great Britain, but because of PC bullshit instead of socialism.
    same for Germany because of very low birth rate…

    dark, it will be.

    13th March 2013 at 1:28 pm

  41. Zarathustra says:

    Stucky, when did I ever say I like muslims. Oh that right, never.

    13th March 2013 at 1:46 pm

  42. chen says:

    SSS says:

    “Stucky, This is a sad post ….. on so many levels.”

    sometimes monsewer stuck tilts to the left, sometimes to the right. sad when he posts drunk

    13th March 2013 at 1:46 pm

  43. JJ3 says:

    If they elect a pope named Peter, then it’s all over according to the Papal prophecy.

    He will be “the last Pope”. I will bet anyone $100 that the next Pope elected IS named Peter.

    There is not a doubt in my mind it will happen that way. After all the Matrix is preprogrammed right?

    13th March 2013 at 1:48 pm

  44. Stucky says:

    Zara

    You let me believe you were a girl for a very loooong time, even when I was hitting on you.

    So, I’m gonna fuck with you for a very loooong time. I’ll let you know when it’s over.

    13th March 2013 at 1:58 pm

  45. AWD says:

    The only thing sad about this post was that it allowed no entrance to post pictures of women.

    pope.png

    13th March 2013 at 2:09 pm

  46. AWD says:

    A white puff! That means they’re smoking the good stuff:

    A New Pope Is Elected
    Submitted by Tyler Durden on 03/13/2013 – 14:11

    Moments ago white smoke emerged from the Sistine Chapel which means that the Cardinals of the Catholic church have elected a new pope. The identity will be revealed shortly. Stocks take this as a bullish signal and hit intraday highs, and for the DJIA, new all time record highs. All is good in the world.

    13th March 2013 at 2:14 pm

  47. chen says:

    Stucky says:

    “Zara You let me believe you were a girl for a very loooong time, even when I was hitting on you.”

    same thing happened to me in panama but the adam’s apple and large hands kept putting me off. and she was taller than me. i hate that.

    13th March 2013 at 2:22 pm

  48. backwardsevolution says:

    Another great piece, Stucky. Funny! You’re all going to Hell.

    13th March 2013 at 2:52 pm

  49. Stucky says:

    An Illegal Alien Pope??? WTF? I guess I will have to pay for my dispensation for this post in pesos

    13th March 2013 at 3:21 pm

  50. Dorkus Maximus says:

    So when do we get to slam on Islam? Or are we scared to?

    13th March 2013 at 3:25 pm

  51. AWD says:

    Pope Francis from Argentina. Why’d he choose a woman’s name?

    jesse-jacksonchallenger1.jpg

    bill_murray-stripes1981-1330.jpg

    13th March 2013 at 3:29 pm

  52. AWD says:

    Shit, here’s Francis

    francis_0.jpg

    13th March 2013 at 3:30 pm

  53. TPC says:

    Thats my name, don’t wear it out.

    13th March 2013 at 3:44 pm

  54. JJ3 says:

    Yeah but his middle name is Peter I bet. LOL

    13th March 2013 at 3:49 pm

  55. Bob says:

    Stuck, you are mostly right, unfortunately…

    Three points:

    1) Papal Infalibility is very limited and circumscribed. It is not applicable to 99.9% of things the Pope is charged with doing.

    2. Transsubstantiation — it does sound like a crock, doesn’t it? However, the God I have come to believe in could do it anytime he damn well pleases, though I don’t believe he makes a habit of popping directly into and back out of human affiars. Still, why couldn’t he if he wanted to?

    3) Church and Faith — two seemingly compatible concepts separated by human frailty and evil.

    13th March 2013 at 7:55 pm

  56. il novo papa says:

    stuck, please turn in your eternal salvation card. all dispensations granted by ratzinger are hereby revoked. you will be condemned to a minimum 1000 years in purgatory prior to judgement. have a nice day.

    13th March 2013 at 8:44 pm

  57. Stucky says:

    A pope from Argentina?? WTF? Aren’t Popes supposedly a direct line from the first Pope … cough, cough, wink, wink … the apostle Peter? So, old Petey made his way to South America and banged some Argentinean ho back in 44AD?

    Let’s buy a clue. We’re talking about the Catholic church. It’s ALL about MONEY & MARKETING! Where is Catholicism growing? South America…easy choice. Bada boom, bada bing, “mystery” solved.

    Is there some rule that Popes have to be old geezers? This fucker will be dead in a few years. Then we get to watch the white/black smoke horseshit all over again. Oh, joy!

    Take a close look at this old man. He looks like one of those guys on Chris Hansen’s “Catch a Predator”

    220px-Card._Jorge_Bergoglio_SJ,_2008.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 6:34 am

  58. Stucky says:

    Bob

    It sounds like a crock …. because it IS a crock.

    Sure, assuming God is the All Powerful Wizard he certainly could transform a cracker into flesh. Then again, he could do the same thing when I eat a banana. Why stop at crackers?

    Also, WHAT PART of His Body is being consumed? Perhaps some flesh from his rib cage? Not bad, I suppose … if you like the idea of cannibalism. But, what if you’re eating his weenie? hmmm?

    14th March 2013 at 6:39 am

  59. Jeffrey Tambor says:

    Hi,

    I’m Jeff Tambor. You might know me from the TV show “Arrested Development”.

    It really pisses me off that this new Pope — Pope Francis (pussy name, eh?) — looks exactly like me. Now, I’m gonna be subjected to endless pedo jokes. I better get some royalties from this clown.

    o-POPE-FRANCIS-DOPPELGANGER-570.jpg?6

    14th March 2013 at 6:45 am

  60. Stucky says:

    The Pope failed to stand up to the brutal military junta that slaughtered tens of thousands of Argentines in its so-called Dirty War. He did little to help those who disappeared when the country was under right-wing military rule – and too much to criticize the left-wing opponents of the generals. He has even been accused of turning a blind eye to the rounding up and torturing of his own Jesuit priests.

    article-2293032-18A4D004000005DC-751_306x452.jpg

    There’s the not-yet-pope on the left ….. having a grand old time with Jorge Videla, head of the Argentine Junta, responsible for the death, disappearance and torture of tens of thousands of Argentines

    14th March 2013 at 8:17 am

  61. Stucky says:

    Priest Off — a new repellant to protect little boys

    priest-off.jpg

    .
    Actual Product Demo …

    14th March 2013 at 11:02 am

  62. Stucky says:

    Fight Homos!! Rick Perry supports The Vagina Bill.

    14th March 2013 at 11:22 am

  63. Pope Francis says:

    Herr Stuckenbozo

    You are once again making waves and slandering our fine religion. Do you have any idea what it feels like to live in eternal hell, the fires burning your flesh for all eternity? No women, no tail, just eternal pain and misery? Is it really worth it? You’d better get with the program partner. Your time is running out.

    stripes01.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 11:25 am

  64. TPC says:

    i-dont-see-many-ice-giants-around-11673-1305616610-36.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 11:28 am

  65. Pope Francis says:

    Stuckenpenis

    I hereby provide you with a list of my accomplishments. You’re welcome asshole

    007268-pope-francis-who-is-he-graphic.gif

    14th March 2013 at 11:33 am

  66. Stucky says:

    “Do you have any idea what it feels like to live in eternal hell, the fires burning your flesh for all eternity?” —— Pope Fransissy

    Yes, I was married for 20 years.

    14th March 2013 at 11:33 am

  67. Pope Francis says:

    pope_francis3.jpg

    Homos will be with you in hell, my unfortunate son.

    353340.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 11:38 am

  68. Dorkus Maximus says:

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ07Gmol-cXgbKANCTFbFAyhaE8RNwz1nAbrWIfRmZq5Ojxoln3vA

    14th March 2013 at 11:46 am

  69. Dorkus Maximus says:

    behead.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 11:49 am

  70. Dorkus Maximus says:

    3540814_370.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 11:54 am

  71. Dorkus Maximus says:

    An-Iranian-woman-at-a-pro-006.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 11:56 am

  72. Stucky says:

    Dorkus

    WTF???

    Try to stay on point (pope stuff and titties).

    14th March 2013 at 11:58 am

  73. Pope SauerBratten says:

    pope-message-to-obama.jpg

    14th March 2013 at 12:00 pm

  74. Il Novo Papa says:

    Stucky, maybe i was a little precipitous in excommunicating you. i would like for you to undergo six weeks of exorcism with father merrin.

    14th March 2013 at 1:15 pm

  75. AWD says:

    They obviously picked the wrong guy.

    20638
    20640

    World Stunned by New Pope Pick

    Experts, journalists and other respectable people were astonished today when the Vatican announced its selection of a Catholic to be the next pope.

    The new pope, one Jorge Mario Bergoglio who took the name Pope Francis I, is a white hispanic from Argentina, a country that became the post-World War II home of many Nazis including Josef Mengele.

    Reactions to the pick ran the gamut from mild disdain to less mild disdain.

    NY Times columnist Nick Kristoff tweeted “Pope Francis…sadly traditional on sexuality and contraception,” later adding “I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he even believes in God or something.”

    Kristoff later tweeted “Wonder how Pope Francis was involved in Argentina’s Dirty War — Catholic Church was complicit in repression?” causing one noted jour0list to observe, “The Vatican apparently didn’t do a very good job vetting this guy, not like we did with President Obama.”

    Other observers were troubled by the lack of diversity in the rigidly patriarchal organization. “It appears no Muslim or atheist candidates were even considered”, sniffed MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow. “It’s hard to believe a religion could be so closed-minded and intolerant of new ideas.”

    “The Nation’s” Katrina vanden Heuvel said the whole papal selection process reminded her “of the Communist Party” while failing to note that almost everything reminds her of the Communist Party except perhaps for the Communist Party.

    President Obama offered no immediate reaction to the choice, although aides suggested the president would be happy to allow the pope to kiss his ring when Frankie makes his pilgrimage to Washington DC.

    The president will also be sending the new pope a personalized iPod loaded with Mr. Obama’s speeches as a palace-warming gift. “There’s a lot of new stuff on there”, noted Jay Carney. “It’s got his 2nd term inauguaration speech and photos. It’s really cool.”

    There is only one reason they would overlook the obvious selection.
    It’s racism, straight up.

    14th March 2013 at 4:44 pm

  76. anotherjuan says:

    don cheto and marlene on the radio were discussing the pope’s new name: english speakers call him ‘francis’ it’s francisco. we can also call him pope pancho, pope paco, pacorras, pacayshun…

    14th March 2013 at 5:28 pm

  77. Thinker says:

    Jim: http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local/illinois&id=9026503

    19th March 2013 at 11:06 pm

  78. Thinker says:

    sorry; they hadn’t loaded the video yet

    http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/iteam&id=9033945&rss=rss-wls-article-9033945

    19th March 2013 at 11:43 pm

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