Stucky BUYS A BUSINESS !!

Yessiree. Last Saturday Ms. Freud’s best friend Broomhilda (name changed to protect her identity) came over for a visit. She told Ms Freud that she came across this “incredible” business “opportunity” that she just “had” to share. We said ‘yes’ because this dear friend is a dear friend who helped Ms. Freud a lot when she had chemo.

I shall start with the conclusion. I am now a proud Amway Business Owner. The details ..

It’s all about “control”, Broomhilda said. Don’t I want to be in total control of my time, she asked? Fuck yes! Don’t I want to decide when I work (fuck yes), how long I work (fuck yes), how hard I work (fuck yes). Don’t I want to be in complete control of my future (goddamn, right I do.). My enthusiastic responses only encouraged her.

It’s also all about “family”. Do I want to work in a cubicle and the rat race or do I want to work where people care about each other, encourage each other, help each other, and make each other wildly successful? (At this point I’m wondering; “Why is Broomhilda throwing me these fucking softballs??)

It’s also all about “Financial Independence”. This part lasted almost an hour and I shall relay only a couple highlights.

One of her charts had a bunch of people on the bottom row, fewer people on the next row, and so on until there was just one person (ME!!!) on the top row. I said, “Hey, that looks like a pyramid!”. This startled her momentarily, but she recovered nicely; “Yes, it is. We call it the pyramid of success.”. Fucken A, this chick is quick on her feet and I got so excited that I noticed a slight movement, you know, down there.

So she tells me ALL I need to do is get seven people to join my business … (it’s soooo easy she said cuz the products are “world class” … and then all I gotta do is train those 7 people how to get their own 7 people. She said that with my “outgoing personality” (really) that I should be able to accomplish this in just 4-5 months. (I suspect she’s bullshitting me because when I first met her she later asked Ms Freud “What do you see in him?” … which is not, IMHO, a sign that I could get even one person, no less seven.) Anyway, she said I should be making $20,000+ per month in no time at all. Selling soap and shit.

Nevertheless … seven. Such a small number, really. I told Broomhilda that I was a Big Dog on a website that gets 10,000 hits a day. I think she had an orgasm right on the spot. She wanted to develop a “business development strategy” right then and there on how to “seed” the business. I told her the site Admin only makes $45 a year on Ad revenue clicks and that you all are generally a bunch of cheap-ass tightwads, and that I would get back to her. She then helped me understand my “circle of influence”, and told me start there.

I hit up my sister first. It was a short meeting. She told me to fuck off. I love her for that .. for not beating around the bush. I really didn’t want her to be part of my group anyway. She whines and bitches too much … plus she voted for Obama twice. I just wanted to sign her up so that I could fire her … like llpoh does. Everybody should be able to fire someone once in their life.

I can’t hit up my parents. My ex-wife is already in Melaleuca. My youngest son has two full time jobs. My oldest son is nuts. And, so, my “circle of influence” is drier than Joan Rivers’ vagina. And we got over a hundred bucks invested …. yeah, we bought some fucking products. Shut the fuck up.

So, that’s where you guys come in. WHO WANTS TO BE PART OF MY TEAM?? Fuck gold. Fuck silver. Fuck guns. Amway is the way to go!! I’ll get you stuff at wholesale. We’ll gang up on the Newbies and sign them up. We’ll all be rich in no time at all. What could go wrong?

Who will be first?

Author: Stucky

I'm right, you're wrong. Deal with it. View all posts by Stucky