I finished most of my cleaning and repairing of the Wildwood condo by about 3:00 pm yesterday. The plan was for me to sleep over and head back first thing this morning. Those weeds aren’t going to wack themselves. And those vegetables aren’t going to plant themselves.
I was able to get in a bike ride to the rocks at 2nd street. Wildwood virtually escaped the ravages of Sandy unscathed. Just some minor beach erosion. After the bike ride I walked a couple blocks to Munchies and got myself a Philly Cheesesteak. Then I relaxed on the deck drinking a beer and reading the delightful free local paper called The Sun. I watched the Phillies beat the Reds while finally getting back to the article I’ve been trying to write for two weeks.
Only a crazy person gets up at 5:30 am at the shore when it is sunny and 70 degrees and heads home. I committed the ultimate sin and paid for a big coffee at WaWa and was on the road by 6:40. There was virtually no cars on the road going my direction at that time in the morning.
As I was speeding along in the left lane at 70 mph on the Garden State Parkway, I came around a slight bend and…
There he was. A dumbass turtle was attempting to cross the Garden State Parkway. At least he had the sense to attempt his suicide mission before 7:00 am. Without thinking I swerved to avoid him. I don’t recommend swerving suddenly at 70 mph. You tend to not be in control for a few seconds. You are probably thinking what a nice guy I am for not crushing the turtle, but you’d be wrong. I drive a tiny Honda Insight. I was trying to avoid front end damage. With my luck he would have retreated into his shell and he would have tipped my car over.
As soon as I passed the future scene of his death, I thought how silly it was for me to swerve. That turtle has absolutely no chance of making it to the other side of a 3 lane heavily travelled 65 mph highway. It’s now two and a half hours since I passed him and he still wouldn’t be across yet. That turtle has as much chance of living through this day as Ben Bernanke successfully exiting QEfinity without destroying the world.
The good news is that I set a new land speed record for getting home from Wildwood. One hundred and twenty miles in one hour and fifty minutes. Now for some weed wacking.