BUY A TESLA, GET A FREE CASE OF MARSHMELLOWS & A FIRE EXTINGUISHER

19 comments

Posted on 3rd October 2013 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

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Let the spin begin. You gotta love $70,000 Obama subsidized green machines that spontaneously burst into flames and can’t be put out with water. What’s not to like? I’m sure those batteries are wonderful for the environment. At least you’ll feel good about the earth as you and your family are incinerated. CNBC with breaking news from Jimmy Cramer. This is a buying opportunity. They are selling 20,000 cars per year and the stock should surely be selling at $200 per share. Wait until they make profits. Meanwhile, you can roast those marshmellows on the turnpike.

Car-B-Q: Tesla Admits Model S Inferno Started In Battery Pack

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 10/03/2013 07:54 -0400

In what can hardly be encouraging news to all the cult members holding the priced to immaculate conception Tesla stock, the unverified YouTube video clip posted yesterday showing the Tesla Model S aka “the safest car in America” (how is that kickbacks-for-awards thing at NHTSA going anyway?) engulfed in a flaming inferno, has just been authenticated by Tesla, and what’s worse not only was there indeed a fire but it originated in the worst possible place: the battery pack. Where it goes from worse to worst is that once on fire (the car, not the stock) “water seemed to intensify the fire.” It remains to be seen if the new and free car option: “Spontaneous Combustion” will have a similar effect on the company’s stock.

From AP:

A fire that destroyed a Tesla electric car near Seattle began in the vehicle’s battery pack, officials said Wednesday, creating challenges for firefighters who tried to put out the flames.

 

Company spokeswoman Liz Jarvis-Shean said the fire Tuesday was caused by a large metallic object that directly hit one of the battery pack’s modules in the pricey Model S. The fire was contained to a small section at the front of the vehicle, she said, and no one was injured.

 

Shares of Tesla Motors Inc. fell more than 6 percent Wednesday after an Internet video showed flames spewing from the vehicle, which Tesla has touted as the safest car in America.

 

The liquid-cooled 85 kilowatt-hour battery in the Tesla Model S is mounted below the passenger compartment floor and uses lithium-ion chemistry similar to the batteries in laptop computers and mobile phones. Investors and companies have been particularly sensitive to the batteries’ fire risks, especially given issues in recent years involving the Chevrolet Volt plug-in hybrid car and Boeing’s new 787 plane.

It gets better: just as the Fisker Karma was found to have a Gremlin-like attavism toward water, especially in the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy when underwater cars would suddenly catch fire, so the Tesla S

In an incident report released under Washington state’s public records law, firefighters wrote that they appeared to have Tuesday’s fire under control, but the flames reignited. Crews found that water seemed to intensify the fire, so they began using a dry chemical extinguisher.

Yeah, when water “intensifies” a fire, you have a big problem, safest car in the world award notwithstanding. The bad news continues:

Firefighters arrived within 3 minutes of the first call. It’s not clear from records how long the firefighting lasted, but crews remained on scene for 2 1/2 hours.

 

Tesla said the flames were contained to the front of the $70,000 vehicle due to its design and construction.

 

“This was not a spontaneous event,” Jarvis-Shean said. “Every indication we have at this point is that the fire was a result of the collision and the damage sustained through that.”

Ironically, every one has already made up their mind about what caused the fire, even though “There was too much damage from the fire to see what damage debris may have caused, Webb said.”

In other words, let’s come up with anything that prevents the stock from getting obliterated now that the most overpriced car company in the world is suddenly the recently bankrupt Fisker Carma.

19 Comments
  1. Administrator says:

    Best comments on Zero Hedge:

    New feature for the salesmen to hype: Automatic Seat Warmers

    Special tax breaks being offered to whistleblowers for buying this vehicle?

    Maybe they can use it as an underwater flare.

    All-electric cars burning up with regularity causes them to cost more to insure. This causes my (state mandated) auto insurance to go up since the risk is pooled. All-electric cars are the equivalent of 500-pound fat fucks signing up for Obamacare. Just like healthy 20-somethings (being federally mandated to purchase health insurance) are the only thing that will save the health insurance industry, responsible gas-powered car owners are the only thing that will save the automobile insurance industry. We gas-powered car owners will be getting ass raped. We have one thing in our favor…we won’t die by being barbecued by our own Earth-friendly (HA!) cars

    Ban water! Baking soda is now tbtf.

    I interviewed for a position to assess the production of the cathode materials for these batteries. I did not take the job. Some of the source materials were suspect and the process not as scientific as people might imagine. I am surprised there aren’t more of these fires. I think there would be if the trips last longer, right now the rasnge on these things keeps them confined to short trips.
    The problem is that if the cathode and anode environments are not homogeneous you get “hot spots”. As these cars age there will be even more problems due to battery degradation. This technology is being beta tested on the public using government funded tax dollars. You are a lab rat if you buy one.

    Since the Ford Pinto I always expect the car I’m driving to immediately burst into flames at the slightest bump.

    I and my family may be burned beyond recognition but think how cool and caring we will look before then.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 1:56 pm

  2. AWD says:

    I love it

    The only people that buy Teslas are rich liberals. Nothing would do this country more good than if each and every liberal progressive were given a tesla, and then they were burned alive. It’d save them from the piano wire forthcoming.

    It’s not a car, it’s a liberal barbecue device

    tesla%20model%20s%20fire.png

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 2:03 pm

  3. Billy says:

    sniff…sniff…

    Smell that?

    It’s the smell of “smug” going up in flames. The same “smug” smell that comes around every time I see some fucking greenie D00SHBAG driving a Prius. Fuck all those electric car driving faggots.. I’m glad their new bazillion-dollar Smug-mobile has the habit of bursting into flames. Sort of like “Pinto the Redeux”. LMFAO!!!

    Know what I drive?

    A 1973 Ford F250 4X4 Highboy. Original full-sized Ranger package. Divorced transfer case. C6 transmission. Bigassed 390 cu/in V8 with a 600cfm Holley carb. It has 3 fuel tanks, giving me 60 gallons total. Came out of Arizona and we restored it. It’s a big fucking snarling, rumbling, powerful throwback to the days when people had fucking pride and built GOOD SHIT.

    It can rip stumps out of the ground and has absolutely NO faggy fucking “emissions” bullshit to choke off the engine’s horses. Not even a cat converter. No computer-controlled anything. At all.

    My only regrets? That it didn’t come with the even-bigger and more epic 460 cu/in V8 and an overdrive gear. But, me and my mechanic are working on the second…

    I want to get a bumper sticker that says something like “MY TRUCK RUNS ON DEAD DINOSAURS. GO PLUG IN YOUR CAR”….

    And wait till you see the cowcatcher we’re welding up for the front!

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 3

    3rd October 2013 at 2:11 pm

  4. juan says:

    the boeing battery fires were reportedly due to overcharging. lith ion batteries will catch fire when shorted. using water on metal salt fires will only intensify the fire. most modern marvels are the result of darpa and nasa funded research, despite what musk, jobs and zuck may claim. (thanks KB).

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

    3rd October 2013 at 2:26 pm

  5. card802 says:

    A person who likes to short a stock should love Tesla.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 2:32 pm

  6. juan says:

    I keep getting 1 thumbs down ever since I accidentally called SSS and AWD homos. I apologized. I guess I am unforgiven still. I never fuck with AWD, SSS, Stucky or LLPOH. I learned early not to fuck with the shotcallers.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 5 Thumb down 4

    3rd October 2013 at 2:48 pm

  7. ragman says:

    juan: correct! They are the Blankfeins and Dimons of TBP. But in a good way.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

    3rd October 2013 at 2:59 pm

  8. TheCynic says:

    It’s tech that’s not ready for prime time or sadly comes with a lot of caveats and peddled by flim flam men. But since it’s politically correct and “ecologically friendly” you can sell it to a bunch of rich white liberals so they can feel extra smug about themselves.

    A horrible bunch all around. one can only hope that those battery fires consumes the entire sorry lot.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 3:30 pm

  9. Forward_Idiocracy says:

    Prius and Tesla abound in my smug little town, probably the most smug populace I’ve ever encountered (interesting experience none-the-less). It’s more smug than the city across the Bay, SF. Sort of a retirement community for Boomer hippy types with authoritarian complexes. Great university, though.

    Seriously, one can sit at a stop light and find up to eight hybrids, mostly Prius, on the road or parked on the side of the road. Loads of Obama-Biden stickers, with a few “I Love Obamacare” stickers. It is ALL about fitting in the herd here in the Bay.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 3:58 pm

  10. juan says:

    back east they buy a gas-saving car to save gas. on this side, assholes buy Priuses to offset the cost of their lead foot.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 5:53 pm

  11. Billy says:

    The two who gave me thumbs down, I think I picked their Priuses out of the grille of my truck like smashed bugs…

    And for those who love to drive that overpriced POS the Tesla, this is just for you:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

    3rd October 2013 at 8:02 pm

  12. G1B says:

    First off. Tesla paid the measly loan the government backed so subsidizing is a lie. Two, this is an American company. Shouldn’t we be proud that we have an American who is using his own capital and thoughts to forge a future for our backwards oil machines that pollute and catch fire? Tesla will start selling to more well off buyers to get the capital to not have to suck the teat of American taxpayers like wall street does and then build more reasonable priced cars later all coming from the US made in the US. Three, battery technology is already getting better quickly because more sales mean more R & D revenue. Four, if you’re afraid of current lithium batteries then you might want to stop putting your phone in your pocket.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

    3rd October 2013 at 12:24 am

  13. TeresaE says:

    G1B, what a good little liberal-lover you are.

    1. They sure as HELL haven’t paid back the millions in subsidies their buyers have received. Ah, didn’t count that, did ya?
    2. They sure as HELL haven’t “paid back” the billions the US gubment poured into the (foreign) battery makers that enabled Tesla (and others) to “create” this technology.
    3. They sure as HELL haven’t “paid back” the millions in car loans financed by Ally Financial, which in case you didn’t realize it, is a GUBMENT owned bank!

    After accounting for the myriad ways that Tesla sure as hell IS gubment subsidized, I’ll now direct you to take into account the FUTURE cost of disposing of these hazardous waste made batteries, why in the hell should we subsidize THAT too? And we will, just the gubment has pushed fluorescent lights, ALL made out of the country, ALL full of deadly toxins. ALL paid for by the taxpayer to dispose of. But, of course, these major things are but ignored warnings, aren’t they?

    And they will “build more reasonable priced cars…all coming from the US…” oh my, have I got a piece of property – only partially submerged – to sell you. You are FUNNY. The days of ANY company building “reasonably” priced cars for the middle class are quickly coming to a close. 28 hours a week of minimum wage is barely going to pay for health insurance, taxes and student loans. Where are these buyers going to come from? The Big 3 are LYING to us about their sales, all one has to do is drive around metro Detroit to see the inventory sitting around the plants, train yards, empty factory lots and dealers. Lies, lies, lies, but I’m SURE there are millions just waiting to buy a $40,000 electric. Oh wait, have you seen the Volt’s numbers recently? Maybe not.

    Finally, the rare earth minerals are owned primarily by CHINA, so the day that China decides we aren’t getting them anymore, and the whole company goes up in smoke.

    Keep believing that killing the earth differently is somehow better than burning oil. The toxins, poisons and Geo-political aspects of this new technology is yet another instance where we have been sold a bill of goods and the sham that will come back and bite us hard in the ass sooner or later. While the principles and their owned politicians will laugh all the way to the bank.

    Have a nice night, make sure your mommy gives you a kiss after she tells you your green energy fairy tales.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 12:45 am

  14. Billy says:

    @ TeresaE

    LMAO!

    You’re some kind of firecracker, ain’t ya? You pretty much destroyed poor little G1B. Bet he’s curled up in the fetal position, crying and hugging Al Gore’s book really tight..

    Got a little story for you, if you care to listen…

    Once upon a time, I bought an old truck. An IH Scout II. It rumbled. It smoked. It got something like 1/5th a mile to the gallon. It was also, unfortunately, painted Hunter Orange from the factory.

    My family immediately dubbed it “The Great Pumpkin”.

    The neighbors hated it. I worked on it constantly- hunting down old NOS parts, replacing things, painting, hammering, welding, installing a winch… slowly, over the summer, it improved until it was actually bearable to look at. Drove even better- IH made those trucks out of bottle caps and paper clips, but the drive trains and engines? You couldn’t kill them.

    The smug neighbors bitched to my folks about my crappy truck and how loud it was, how loud I was working on it, etc.. My attitude was “fuck you and your Toyota”.

    Then winter came. A once-in-every-ten-years snowstorm hit. Knocked out power. There were FEET of snow in the roads. We lived on top of a hill on a dead end road.

    One day. Two days. Three days no power. My mother wanted me to take the Scout and drive the miles to town and get us groceries, sterno, medications, etc. Not a problem.

    I shoveled a path out to the street and fired up the Scout. It rumbled to life and belched out blue smoke- it burned oil (bad rings). It trundled out to the road like a big orange beetle and there, waiting on me, were all those smug fucking neighbors. They were stranded. I was the only one on our little road who had a 4X4 big and heavy enough to make it off that hill and to town and back.

    They had lists and money. Food, fuel, meds, bottled water, etc…

    Happy to say I did the right thing and got them everything they needed in my ugly-assed Great Pumpkin of an orange Scout. And they never bitched about my crappy truck ever again…

    PS- All these Prius and Tesla driving smug assholes are going to get a rude wakeup call when someone biffs a nuke above the ionosphere and the resulting EMP turns their smug-mobiles into $70,000 paperweights. At least my old Ford is EMP-proof (point ignition- no computers to fry).

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 1:14 am

  15. TeresaE says:

    I like ya’ Billy, I really do. Nice to see you around even if I don’t always agree – but this time you are right on.

    I want a truck, but I want a diesel and the equipment to turn used oils into fuel. It’s on my dream list, ah well, maybe someday I can “salvage” it…lol

    Your Pumpkin (wrongly attributed to Varn in another thread, oops, sorry Varn & Billy) story is fabulous. Reminds me of friends that would make fun of the gear I would take with me camping or biking. Until they inevitably needed something.

    Some things are just better to have, and not need, than need, and not have.

    Have a good night!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 1:37 am

  16. TeresaE says:

    Crap, I am so tired, I really shouldn’t post and work at the same time. Will be interesting to see what I’ve entered when I come back tomorrow…lol

    Anyway, the main reason I went to reply to you Billy was your comment about the true-believer.

    I’m a frustrated woman my friend, and every once in a while some idiot deeply offends my sensibilities.

    It truly pisses me off that not only have these enviro-morons enabled and cheered for the spending of my grandchild’s future labor, and mine today, but that I’ve also been robbed of thousands of hours of my labor to educate the majority of the populace into this propaganda-believing, marketing-worshiping, state of being. I am truly disgusted with it.

    So combine the two things, then throw in my absolute hatred of working for my husband and being at work, and I can’t control my tongue/fingers.

    lol

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 1:43 am

  17. Anthony Alfidi says:

    A friend of mine recently bought Tesla stock simply because it’s a “green” California company that gets lots of press. I asked her opinion of the disposable income of its target market. No response. She bought anyway.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 2:20 am

  18. Billy says:

    @ TeresaE

    A diesel, hmm? I was wanting to go that route, too. Problem is, almost nobody was making big, strong, lumbering trucks with diesel engines and no computer controlled crap and/or emissions junk.

    I’m no luddite, but even a rube like me can recognize that the trucks made in the 60′s/70′s and even early 80′s are light years better than just about everything that came afterwards. They are by-God STEEL, with almost no plastic anywhere.

    If I were after a zombie apocalypse truck, I would seriously look into a bobbed Deuce. Basically, they take a ex-military Deuce and-a-half and chop it. Lose one axle in the process, but they move everything around so that it’s a very viable truck and not just some hatchet job. The BEST part is the engine- huge multi-fuel turbo diesel. You can melt down liberals and fatty progressives, render their fat, turn them into bio-diesel and that truck will run, no problem.

    Me and my mechanic are putting together a list of everything needed to convert my old Ford into an ethanol burner. Not that 85 shit, but real 100% ethanol. Have to replace some stuff, upgrade others, but it’s viable. It’s also a damn waste of fine sippin’ whiskey, but if you can ferment it and distill it, the truck will run on it.

    Only looking into that as a last resort if TSHTF or gas becomes 25 bucks a gallon or some crazy shit like that…

    Don’t give up the fight against the liberal prog brainwashing. I know it’s frustrating- they resist all efforts (after all, nobody likes hearing that their worldview is for shit), but trust me, it CAN be done. Wear them down like the ocean wears down the rocks…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 7:23 am

  19. Billy says:

    Hey TeresaE,

    Here ya go… runs on bio diesel made from liberals, progressives, the tears of orphans and baby seals..

    bob30.jpg

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    3rd October 2013 at 7:32 am

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