PEOPLE OF WAL-MART – WE’RE ALL DOOMED

Is there anything sexier than Walmart selfies? I mean, they are classy, sexy and practical all rolled into one pic! Anyway, enjoy these selfies, and before I forget I wanted to point out how hot that blonde’s Adam’s apple was.

Is it weird my first thought right now is if she is willing to show some boobies at Walmart then she probably could have put that to good use and skipped some Black Friday lines? Also, boobs are the best. Just in case anyone had any doubt as to what is the best, it’s boobs. The answer has always been and will always be boobs.

I feel your pain lady. Sometimes I think Walmart has 30 lanes just to show you that it could be fast and convenient to check out but would rather make you and everyone else wait in line at the 4 lanes that are open and always seem to be manned by the slowest human beings allowed by law.

The extremely popular infatuation with Hello Kitty is something I’ll never understand. But whatever, the real issue at hand is if I were to force you to chose to pick between driving that car the rest of your life or getting that tattoo which would you choose? Also, is that a DarthVader/Hello Kitty hybrid tattoo?

In case of emergency, toss those puppies up over your shoulders and use them as a life preserver.

Pictures like these two bring a tear to my eye because I know this vicious circle of bad decision making will (unfortunately for these kids) continue through the generations. Parents set examples, kids follow examples, kid ends up on People Of Walmart. Music to my ears!

I hate it when the muffin batter spills up over the pan like that. I usually just toss ‘em out and start from scratch. Objections? Do I hear any objections? Yeah I didn’t think so.

Holy hell, I really hope that is George Carlin back from the dead because he is one of the funniest guys ever. Chances are good it’s just some guy that hates people, mainly because everyone calls him George Carlin.

My mind is blown at the amount of mullet awesomeness going on here. Which one do you guys love more? The flowing eagle locks that just majestically transform into fringe or what I assume the real meth addict Jesse Pinkman would actually look like?

It’s a battle of bottom biscuits in what I think is also a battle of the sexes? I’m not really 100% sure the one in the backpack is a dude, but let’s be real here, that outfit doesn’t work well on any human being so it doesn’t matter.

When you have bodies like this, it’s almost a crime to wear a shirt. I mean, who doesn’t love a lower back hair tramp stamp?

Ri-DONK-ulously low prices mo-fo!….Also, where is the PeopleOfWalmart donk? Let’s get on that people!

Holy mother of mercy. You just pulled off a spot-on Magda from There’s Something About Mary of epic proportions!

Because pants are for all of you caged sheep that play by society’s rules…and aren’t tripping on shrooms

I see you’re working up quite a sweat from all those kisses you’re getting. Might wanna let that sucker breathe a minute sweetheart.

More like “How the Grinch Stole My Childhood Innocence.”

Pffft amateur, my accountant does her own dreadlocks at work. So I know I’m all set. Choke on that baby!!

How do  you like your public ass cracks? Over the top or a little drive-thru window action?

This lady has a toilet paper tail and yet I somehow think she looks better than those idiots running around with fur tails on. So yeah, try that one on for size weird anime kids. Also, why hasn’t someone helped her out yet? I feel like that would be too big to miss for long.