Posted on 20th December 2013 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

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Happy holidays from a narcissistic arrogant prick who runs a Wall Street bank that has paid out $20 billion in fines for their criminal behavior. Instead of being taken away in cuffs and sharing a cell with his buddy Madoff, he frolics in his $50 million penthouse with his obnoxious spawn. The family was just about to sit down and dine on baby fetus souffle and truffles, washed down with the blood of the millions of people he has foreclosed upon.

“Season’s Greetings and Fuck You America. I’m a billionaire and you’re not.” – Love Jamie

I can’t wait for the 2015 Dimon Holiday card.


“We play tennis in the house because we’re transgressive and also we have billions of dollars and no accountability.”

“Don’t the Dimons look giddy? Maybe they read Judge Rakoff’s essay and thought the coast is clear w/all the fines paid.”

“Lack of humility is the petard on which Jamie Dimon has hoisted himself all year. His holiday card comes across as Nero fiddling while J.P. Morgan’s reputation burns.”

“This is a card that expresses sheer exuberance in the sender’s circumstances. Personally, I think this card accurately represents [a] value system which is narcissistic and unrepentant.”

  1. Administrator says:

    “We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.”

    -Leona Helmsley

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 11:33 am

  2. IndenturedServant says:

    You’re just jealous. Don’t be hatin’!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 11:35 am

  3. IndenturedServant says:

    He’s got a good lookin’ family. It’s too ad that when it comes time to 86 the central bankers, you have to string up their demon seed offspring as well. As Barney Fife says: “You gotta nip it in the bud!”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 11:38 am

  4. flash says:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 12:07 pm

  5. Stucky says:


    I am not happy with the way you title your posts.

    For example, I thought this thread was going to be a tribute to llpoh.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 12:17 pm

  6. IndenturedServant says:

    If the decor in my house looked like that, I’d play tennis in there too! Looks rather sterile but I live in a hovel by comparison.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 12:18 pm

  7. Chicago999444 says:

    I’m not too pissed about the po’ foreclosure “victims”.

    I’m pissed that a whole lot more weren’t foreclosed, but instead have been allowed to squat in houses and condos that SHOULD have been foreclosed on 5 years ago, but have been sandbagged and kept off the artificially inflated market by JPMorgan Chase, BofA, Wells Fargo and other lenders, with the help of our tax money.

    When I was condo-hunting here in Chicago, I went through the Cook County property records for every single property I considered. I looked up the sales and tax records not only for the unit I was considering, but every other unit in the building, just to get a handle on how many people might be delinquent on their HOAs, and how firm the price might be. What I discovered was incredible- every single building I looked at, with the exception of the one I just bought into, had multiple foreclosures that had been in process since 2009 or 2010, and so-called “owners” who had not made a single payment for FOUR YEARS or more.

    And I’m supposed to feel sorry for these damn people? Please. Let me tell you that 99% of all foreclosures were right and proper, and were served on people who were in default for at least a year, and usually much longer, before the sheriff came knocking. Here in IL, which is a judicial foreclosure state, it takes at least 6 months of non-payment before you even get a Notice of Default, and most non-payers are delinquent for a year before the NOD, because of the backlog of failing loans. Then, after that, it takes at least a year to go from the NOD to REO, if not longer.

    However, the banks have been extending this much longer, because they do not want to show the catastrophic losses, especially for the jumbo defaults. Therefore, defaulting borrowers get 2-4 years of “suatting” time during which they get to live rent free. Our government gave the banks the assistance, in various forms, to do this, because if all the foreclosure inventory were to hit the market, there would be totally no floor for housing prices.

    Let me tell you that if I’d defaulted on my apartment rent as a renter, it would have taken 4 months at the outside to put me and my belongings on the curb. And I’m supposed to sympathize?

    What’s worse is that if they had let the foreclosures happen, I would have had a much larger selection of condos at far cheaper prices. I was not quite positioned to buy in 2011, which ate my heart out, because the unit below mine sold for $25,000 less in 2011, a massive price difference in this buiding.

    Were it not for the subsidies and government rescue given the banks, these banks would have failed totally, their shareholders and officers wiped out, and housing would be much cheaper and possibly affordable to younger buyers. We would have saved trillions in taxes and the financial system would be much healthier, while there would also be more opportunity for smaller, more solid banks. Jamie and company would have been financially destroyed, and I’d gotten a condo for half what i paid.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 6

    20th December 2013 at 12:37 pm

  8. PJF says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 20

    20th December 2013 at 1:23 pm

  9. Chicago999444 says:

    If you gained your riches honestly, whether by being productive, or just being well enough liked that the public voluntarily handed you the money, you are certainly entitled to have “fun”. You can enjoy your mega-yacht and multiple palaces with no guilt.

    But when the rest of us are taxed, bilked, and deprived of the benefits of a truly free market in order to keep you rich despite your flaming malfeasance, insanity, and multiple failures…. well, then, I have a real problem with your innocent good times in your $50M penthouse.

    We could support a lot of “free shitters” in West Philly, not to mention Chicago’s south side, for a fraction of what we’ve spent rescuing the financial markets in the past 5 years, not that the FSA is anymore deserving.

    But if I have to support a member of the FSA, let it be in a shack in W Philly, not a penthouse in NYC worth several multiples of what we spend on all the welfare moms in Chicago in a month.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 1:35 pm

  10. underfire says:

    I figured out what I like about that picture…no morbidly obese.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 1:55 pm

  11. Chicago999444 says:

    Yeah, they’re attractive, aren’t they?

    It’s easy to stay slim and beautiful when you have the dough to buy the finest fresh veggies and fruits, the very best and freshest fish and poultry and have it delivered to your door, and have the services of dieticians and personal trainers to help you design eating and fitness plans to keep you in shape, plus memberships in great clubs and the leisure to work out and otherwise attend to your well-being.

    For the working poor and middle classes who are robbed to guarantee that Jamie and his ilk will never have to pay for their mistakes, it’s multiple part-time jobs, lots of time spent commuting in cars and buses and trains, and lots of cheap-o processed food, tasty and filling and CHEAP, though toxic, with little time or leisure to pay attention to basic health. Anything that brings short-term comfort, like the tobacco habit you should have kicked years ago, looks good, and so does anything that offers hope, however fleeting and false, like $10 worth of lotto megamillions tickets.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 2:05 pm

  12. Golden Oxen says:

    That fucking maggot should be put in cage, placed on Wall St., where passers by can piss on him, spit lungars in his pretty boy, phoney, nice guy face, blow farts in his face, throw bags of shit at him etc.

    He should be hosed down every night with sewer water, and made to sleep on a bed of credit cards, with foreclosure documents to use as blankets while he dreams about a resumption of activities in the morning.

    Special care should be taken he does not commit suicide and he should be read one of his e-mails laden with evil skullduggery, cover ups, bribes, hiring of foreign diplomats children, all sorts of arrogant shit to ponder while retiring for a goods night sleep.

    After a ten year sentence to atone for his sins, he should be allowed to work and sleep in soup kitchen in Tent City fo the rest of his days. I wouldn’t want to appear too harsh and devoid of any compassion.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 2:14 pm

  13. Bullock says:

    Thanks for reminding me to check ammo prices.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 3:29 pm

  14. Yojimbo says:

    I honestly don’t understand how this man is still alive. How is it that he has not been gunned down yet?

    Does he have bodyguards? Can people search for his address? Does he go out in public?

    The very fact that this man still draws breath says that there are no lone wolf domestic vigilantes out there.

    The whole “domestic terrorist” characterization of the militia types and Constitutionalists by the government is a lie. If there were any, and Jamie Dimon could be found, he would be dead.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 4:18 pm

  15. Fool on the hill says:

    Maybe we should have indulged the paperhanging sonovabitch in the forties.

    He was sanitizing the planet.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 5:00 pm

  16. Llpoh says:

    Ehen I saw the article title I figured Admin was pissed at me again. Glad to see it was not pointed at me but at that other narcissistic arrogant prick.

    I guess Admin is full of Christmas cheer.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 5:11 pm

  17. ragman says:

    Golden: why don’t you tell us how you really feel? Jamie is not a yid, I believe he is greek. If I was elected king, this fucker along with Lord Pigfein would be the first two MFers that I would stand up against the wall. I would have a lottery to give the 10 winners full-auto AKs and full 30rnd mags to have-fucking-at-it with these two worthless pieces-of-shit. That would only be the beginning.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

    20th December 2013 at 4:15 pm

  18. Mary Malone says:

    You are entitled to your own opinion on homeowners who are being foreclosed, but you are not entitled to your own set of facts.

    Did you know that a very large segment of foreclosures are against homeowners who are paying? Or who tried to make payments (not late) and their payments were refused by the servicer?

    Did you know the TBTF are purposely pushing homeowners into foreclosures so they can collect on insurance payments? These policies often pay out up to 20x the mortgage amount?

    Did you know the servicers keep the insurance payments, instead of giving the dough to the investors of the trusts, and advance monthly mortgage payments to the trustee?

    Did you know that these alleged mortgages are not in default?

    Did you know the TBTF stole $13 trillion in pension funds?

    Did you know that 15 million Americans have been displaced from their homes in unlawful foreclosures 2007-present?

    Did you know the alleged trusts that appear as the creditor/Plaintiff on foreclosure lawsuits do not exist? The trusts were never incorporated, are not registered with the states and as a result are in violation of laws of incorporation?

    Did you know you are a soulless putz?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1

    20th December 2013 at 6:55 pm

  19. SSS says:

    Yikes. The usually mild-mannered Mary Malone buries Chicago999444 with facts. Time to step aside and let the ladies have their say.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 11:24 pm

  20. Chicago999444 says:

    Mary Malone,

    The only reason most of these foreclosures were “illegal” was because a chain of custody could not be established for the mortgage nor the final ownership established, because the mortgages had been packaged and sold and sliced and diced so many times that the true ownership could be easily challenged.

    Which does not change the fact that 99% of these home loan-owners WERE. NOT. PAYING.THEIR. MORTGAGE. PAYMENTS.

    What part of the terms DELINQUENT and DEFAULT do people not understand?

    I am not defending the financial cartel, whose members each all deserve to be bankrupted permanently. Did the banks engage in criminal activity? Beyond question. They should have been allowed to fail and each of their shareholders, including the pension funds and mutual funds who bought the garbage mortgage-backed securities with their fraudulent ratings that ANY fund manager could easily have questioned if he or she had bothered to “peel the onion” and look at the breakdown of the mortgages contained therein, and their default rates, on the Bloomberg bond wire before purchasing/

    As the old saying goes, though, multiple wrongs on both sides of the table don’t make a right. At the end of the day, these buyers in default and failing to receive loan modification because they bought TOO MUCH HOUSE and BORROWED TOO MUCH MONEY, which they did with their eyes wide open. Can we expect a person who went to 4 or more years of college to be able to figure out that he or she cannot afford a mortgage that 4x, 5x or 6x his or her annual income? This is something anyone can figure out. These people were gambling on future appreciation, and never more so than when, in addition to borrowing more than they could conceivably hope to pay back to begin with as well as lying flagrantly about their incomes on their applications, they further borrowed against whatever equity they were lucky enough to gain by appreciation by getting HELOCs the moment the price appreciated over what they paid, in the belief that appreciation in value was something that they were entitled to and could always count on.

    Many of the foreclosures resulted from the failure of the borrowers to obtain loan modifications for their oversized loans. The modifications failed mainly because the payments were STILL too high, because the loan was simply too large for the borrower’s income.

    So, then came the demand for principal writedowns. Someone I know here in Chicago got one- the condo she paid $140K for with no money down was written down to $20K. In other words, she got a $120K gift from the lender, and if you think the lender absorbed that cost, then you are seriously deluded.

    It is the TAXPAYERS who are taking the hit, and whose trillions in direct and indirect assistance to the financial cartel is making it possible for Jamie Dimon to continue to live in his $50M dwelling, and for people to get their principal writtten down from $500K to $300K, just because they bought at the wrong time… something I never made them do.

    I was one of the people who wanted to buy, but wasn’t willing to take a loan I doubted I could pay back, so I backed away while everyone else was buying with 80/20s, or IO loans, or pay option ARMs that reset in 3 years with a $50,000 balloon at the end of the break in period, with the idea that they would refinance when the place did not appreciate. I was subjected to extremely high pressure sales techniques by a speculator who was trying to sell me a laughably overpriced and tiny condo and pressured me to obtain an interest only loan, which would been immediately callable and impossible to refinance with the slightest drop in the value of the place. What if I can’t refinance, I asked him. “Well, you just KNOW that this place will be worth 20% more!” he said, in a tone that implied that I was an absolute moron for not perceiving the incredible opportunity I was passing up.
    That place is now worth half what he paid for it.

    I could go on, but you get the point. The bulk of these millions of foreclosures are only “illegal” because of chain-of-custody issues and/or procedural errors. In the case of the “robosigned” loans, the lenders merely had to start the process over again and do it correctly, because these borrowers were still in default, and in most cases were delinquent for many months.

    At the end of the day, you still have to pay for your house and you still owe the mortgage payments no matter who now owns the mortgage.

    And you still owe the payments for your mortgage even if your house has depreciated to half the amount of the loan or less. After all, if the house had appreciated 50% instead of depreciating, you shouldn’t have to share that profit with the lender, should you? So why should you be able to stick someone else with your loss? If you were a cash buyer, or had made a substantial down payment, there would be no question of making someone else absorb your loss- you would simply have to eat it.

    The only victims of “illegal” foreclosures I have any sympathy for are those rare cases where the wrong house was foreclosed on, or where someone paying his loan was foreclosed after one missed payment, while millions of deadbeats are squatting in places they haven’t made payments on in three years. There are legal remedies available to these real victims.

    But if you are one of the millions who borrowed more than you could pay back to begin with and then serial-refinanced and HELOCed yourself into oblivion, then, sorry, you should be foreclosed.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

    20th December 2013 at 1:36 pm

  21. Jamie says:

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    20th December 2013 at 3:27 pm

  22. Jamie says:

    Jamie’s Paradise

    Power and the money, money and the power
    Minute after minute, hour after hour
    Everybody’s running, but (most) of them ain’t looking
    What’s going on in the kitchen, but (they) don’t know what’s cookin’
    (Jim) say (they) gotta learn, but nobody’s [t]here to teach (‘em)
    If they can’t understand it, how can they reach me
    I guess they can’t, I guess they won’t
    I guess they (fucked), that’s why I know (they) life is out of luck, fool

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

    20th December 2013 at 3:41 pm

  23. Mary Malone says:

    Chicago999444 says:

    Mary Malone,

    The only reason most of these foreclosures were “illegal” was because a chain of custody could not be established for the mortgage nor the final ownership established, because the mortgages had been packaged and sold and sliced and diced so many times that the true ownership could be easily challenged.

    MM: Uh, no. Wrong again. The mortgages never made it into the trusts. At all. Nada, zip zero. There are no mortgages in the MBS. No there there. And everybody knows it.

    If the law were enforced, the TBTF would be arrested and jailed for stealing $13 trillion in pension funds and $7 million in lost homeowner equity.

    But as we all know, the law does not matter.

    You really need to place the blame where it belongs – on the investment bankers, and their lackeys who were out-sourced to perform the dirty deeds.

    Homeowners, regardless of their payment status are not responsible for the 2008 crash or subsequent depression. The bankers, public officials are.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    20th December 2013 at 4:12 pm

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