ADMIN HITS GRAND CANYON SIZE POTHOLE, BLOWS A TIRE ON THE 30 BLOCKS OF SQUALOR & LIVES TO TELL THE STORY

75 comments

Posted on 15th January 2014 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

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It’s sure lucky I got four new tires last week during my annual car inspection. I wouldn’t have wanted to blow an old tire in the massive pothole at 34th and Girard Avenue. Last night I was making my normal hour long trek home, following my same route through the 30 Blocks of Squalor and making a left turn onto Girard Avenue at 34th Street. I’ve made the same turn from the same lane hundreds of times over the last seven years. It was dark, foggy and raining last night. You wouldn’t expect the bankrupt city of Philadelphia to have proper lighting at a huge intersection pictured below.

As I made my left turn, all of a sudden, I hit the biggest invisible fucking pothole known to mankind. My tiny little Honda Insight was almost swallowed whole by this crater in the road.

I bellowed SON OF A BITCH!!! at the top of my lungs. My next thought was, please God don’t let me have a flat tire on the 30 Blocks of Squalor as I’m about to go onto the Schuylkill Expressway. God was in a playful mood last night. My tire pressure warning light immediately came on. I had to make a split second decision. I’d be on the Expressway in another minute. The irony was that I was directly in front of the dreaded $28 million white elephant Zoo Parking garage that I have railed so much about. God was chuckling as he watched the panic in my eyes. My thoughts ran immediately to the headlines I see on the news every night.

I decided to pull into the Sunoco A-Plus gas station at 38th & Girard and start praying. The place was swarming with cars going in all directions. I was able to maneuver to the side of the building into a parking spot. I got out and heard the hissing of my deflating passenger side front tire. Decision time. I’m dressed in dress clothes and a tie. It’s raining and I’m the only white person in a 30 block radius. Do I ruin my clothes, get soaked, and risk my life by being out in the open? This is why I pay AAA that annual membership fee. I called AAA and got a nice lady who took down my info in order to dispatch a truck to my location. It was going to be an hour until the guy arrived.

The dispatcher lady asked if I was safe. I told her yes, even though I was thinking that I was stranded in one of Obama’s five PROMISE ZONES. Does that sound safe to you? I hunkered down in my car and tried to blend in. Luckily it was dark and foggy. Evidently this Sunoco station has a permanent crazy black guy who stands out front and whoops for no evident reason every few minutes. It is a little disconcerting to someone not from the hood. I just observed the comings and goings of the Squalorites from my disabled vehicle. I did not witness one white person the entire hour long wait. I did see Range Rovers, BMWs, and Cadillacs filling up during my stay. I don’t know if this is a black thing, but the parking lot was much like their neighborhood. No rules. Cars going every which way. People parking wherever they felt like it. I must have seen three or four close call accidents just in the parking lot.

I did have to take a piss, but I would have rather pissed my pants than go inside the mini-mart and use their bathroom. In my mind I was visualizing Otis Day and the Knights singing Shama Lama Ding Dong as I entered the mini-mart.

 

Bob, from AAA, arrived at 6:45 and assessed the situation. He said, “Yep, that’s a flat tire.” He proceeded to use real tools, not the dinky little crap supplied by Honda, to change the tire in about 10 minutes. I asked him if the spare would be OK to get me the 30 miles home. He didn’t instill confidence in me when he said “It should be good for 50 miles. Just don’t change lanes.” I gave him a nice big tip and he gave me some very wise advice – “Watch out for potholes.”

I tore out of that parking lot like a bat out of hell. The spare made a funny sound and the tire pressure warning light stayed on. As I got onto the Northeast Extension cattle shoot, with no place to pull over, warning lights about tire pressure started blinking. Jesus Christ, I really had to piss now. I just kept going and praying I could make the last 12 miles. God must have moved onto someone else, as I was able to make it home.

My wife thought the City of Philadelphia should be responsible for paying for my new tire. I just laughed. She found the City of Philadelphia Pothole Reporting website and typed in the location of the pothole with the comment “Car Swallowing Sized Pothole”. The city guarantees the pothole will be filled within 24 hours. Yeah right. They also guarantee that kids going to their schools will be educated. How’s that working out?

I don’t ask much from the city of Philadelphia. They extract 3.5% of my pay every week for their services to me. All I want is drive-able streets and stop lights that work. This seems to be too big a task for these union drones. I don’t even mind small potholes, but car swallowing potholes should be fixed immediately. Every day I hear the traffic report saying that stop lights at major Philadelphia intersections aren’t working. Water mains break every day, destroying streets, homes and businesses. Government is virtually worthless. They suck the life out of an economy and can’t even perform the most basic functions of a municipality.

I can’t wait to see if the pothole is repaired on my trip home tonight. If someone is fishing for carp in the pothole, I’ll have my answer.

 

75 Comments
  1. Brazil66 says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 22

    15th January 2014 at 9:47 am

  2. Thinker says:

    Glad you’re okay. Do let us know when it finally gets filled. Here in Chicago, there’s at least a 10-day waiting list. It’s like driving through a Baghdad mine field.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 9:50 am

  3. Bostonbob says:

    Too funny. Up here between the freezing cold then warm and rain we have some monster potholes on Rt. 128. I expect that they will start to patch them in a few weeks/months in the middle of rush hour as is their SOP. Driving my son’s little Jetta is quite an adventure, I will probably have to switch back to the pickup.
    Bob.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:02 am

  4. gubmint cheese says:

    No worries.

    Come spring, all that extra fuel tax revenue in PA will surely go to fix and improve that section of road.
    (sarc off).

    This is why I only own and drive vehicles in PA that have fared historically well surviving in conditions found in third world nations.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:02 am

  5. dirtythong says:

    admin

    can of fix a flat and a plugging kit
    get it at pep boys and pop it in the glove box
    you coulda been outa there in minutes

    when you go to the zoo, you tend to see animals
    don’t look like prey and you wont be

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2

    15th January 2014 at 10:10 am

  6. harry p. says:

    admin,
    so when are you getting your cc permit and appropriate firearm?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:12 am

  7. Administrator says:

    harry p.

    I knew that question was coming. I’ll be looking into that shortly.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:16 am

  8. Administrator says:

    I don’t think fix a flat would have worked. The gash was large near the rim. It wasn’t a simple nail in the tire situation.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:21 am

  9. Anonymous says:

    I expect to see this event reenacted on a future episode of “I Shouldn’t Be Alive”, Jim. Thanks for telling the story.

    Edge-Of-Death-i-shouldnt-be-alive-tv-show-30822660-318-159.jpg

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:33 am

  10. Bostonbob says:

    Admin,
    I had to change my wife’s tire on the CRV last week in 5 degree weather, full dress clothes and shoes. I was to impatient to wait for AAA. Fortunately it was in the driveway and I have real tools, but it still sucked. The tire was stuck on, when i hit it with a mallet the mallet exploded. Ended up using a sledge hammer to get it off. I probably would never make it as a mechanic.
    Bob.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:37 am

  11. Wyoming Mike says:

    Get one here & people start pulling over asking if they can change it for you.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:40 am

  12. backwardsevolution says:

    Admin – very funny story! Glad you were safe. Unbelievable they’d have potholes like that.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 10:47 am

  13. Stephanie Shepard says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMdcqLn7ufM&list=UUAvq1V69WpAddMTtiU_JL6w

    I saw this video a few days ago, and thought it was brilliant. Complete with youtube fail videos.

    “White people they crazy
    Swear they lost they mind
    All you gotta do is turn on MTV one time
    And see
    White girls they crazy
    White boys they crazy
    Then they all get crazy
    And they have a crazy ass baby

    Have you ever thought of this? No?
    Well this is why they pill ya
    83% of white people have traits of serial killas”

    “Linsday Lohan
    Britney Spears
    Awww man They Crazy

    Charlie Sheen
    Will I Am
    Awww man They Crazy

    Bill clinton He crazy
    Martha stewart She Crazy
    Billy mays He Crazy
    Kanye West clothes they crazy

    Casey Anthony She Crazy
    Stewie griffin He Crazy
    Tyler The Creator
    Homer Simpson Awww man they crazy

    Ryan Dunn rest in piece he crazy
    Johnny Knoxville crazy
    Hitler He was crazy
    All yall white people yall crazy”

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 18

    15th January 2014 at 10:50 am

  14. treemagnet says:

    I’ve always wondered what people on motorcycles do when dealing with issues such as this that can fuck up a big vehicle. Lay a bike down there, I think you’re staying there.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 11:38 am

  15. treemagnet says:

    Hey admin, would those ‘run-flat’ tires ($$$$$) have made a difference? Your life is worth it – pony up cheapass!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 11:40 am

  16. Zarathustra says:

    Cool story, bro.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 11:41 am

  17. dc.sunsets says:

    Wyoming Mike says:

    Get one here & people start pulling over asking if they can change it for you.

    In Illinois this only applies if you are female, <40 and proportionately shaped. An attractive young lady will attract enough men that no jack is needed.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 11:44 am

  18. Wyoming Mike says:

    That’s a downside DC, we have no females <40 that are proportionately shaped except the one I brought with me. :*)

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 12:03 pm

  19. Billy says:

    @ Admin

    See, this is exactly why I don’t drive puny plastic cars. Not saying my truck would have survived an impact with that crater, but it would have had a better chance. I carry a full-sized spare that’s been pre-balanced and all the “real” tools to git-er-done… And you best be looking into getting that CCW. Me and the wife both have ours and we both carry (imagine that. My wife, a full-blooded European and product of their socialist, leftist, piece of shit school system carries a .357 magnum on her person…. and the Admin does not… SHAME on you!).

    Admin is a practical guy. I bet he has life insurance. Good life insurance, probably. But getting the paper that allows you to carry the tools necessary to defend that life appears to be too much trouble… :)

    Sorry… couldn’t resist. Don’t taze me, Bro.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 12:54 pm

  20. SSS says:

    Bob, from AAA, arrived at 6:45 and assessed the situation. He said, “Yep, that’s a flat tire.”
    —-from Admin’s story

    Well, no shit, Sherlock. Here’s another one.

    A few years ago, my wife’s car broke down at a very safe strip mall in northern Virginia. I went over to the scene and eventually called for a tow truck. Guy shows up in one of those Jer-Dan flatbed trucks and is pulling her car up the ramp and onto the flatbed. Another guy comes walking by and said to my wife, “Looks like you have car problems.” I wanted to reply that “You have a keen sense of the obvious,” but I was too busy laughing.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 1:06 pm

  21. SSS says:

    Anon posts an article on losing a cat.

    WTF?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 1:08 pm

  22. thc0655 says:

    harry p. beat me to it. You live in a “safe” outer suburb and you’re comfortable working in West Philly as long as those elite Drexel police and security guards are around you. But what about the commute? What about all the mass shooters who seem to pick “safe” suburbs to commit their depraved acts? My offer still stands: free guidance and training for your concealed carry permit, firearm and related gear. Shoot: I was home only a few blocks away when you blew your tire and I could’ve come over to help out or keep you company. But if you don’t WANT to carry a gun and you aren’t sure you could use lethal force in self-defense, then you shouldn’t carry a gun. No one should talk you into it. On my way to work, I’ll check out the pot hole today.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 1:39 pm

  23. Administrator says:

    Billy

    I have loads of life insurance. I’m worth much more dead than alive. I hired a food tester because I don’t trust my wife.

    I do put off doing things that make me uncomfortable. I’m a suburban kid who never owned a gun. I’ve got the shotgun, now I’ll need to get the handgun.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 1:45 pm

  24. bb says:

    I always carry my pistol with 4 magazines,fix a flat and my tools to work on my truck if needed.You really should do the same especially if your going to keep driving through the 30 blocks.At least carry a gun so you can protect yourself.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 1:52 pm

  25. Nonanonymous says:

    Admin, I never owned a handgun, either, but I grew up hunting and fishing with my dad. If you decide to get one, get training and practice with it. I’m a decent clay and trap shooter, and I shoot USPSA and 3 gun competitions. They’re addictive, and I sleep a lot better at night.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 1:54 pm

  26. gubmint cheese says:

    You’d think the local ‘hood rats in the 30 blocks would have even more flat tire issues like you did, especially with all the low profile tires and 24 inch financed rims on their fly hoopties.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 2:06 pm

  27. Billy says:

    Admin

    Just poking fun.

    If I were you, I would find a certified pistol instructor and then have that individual teach you.

    Couple things you might want to note… they helped me.

    - NOBODY is born with a genetic predisposition for shooting well. It is a learned, martial skill.
    - Because it is a learned skill, it is perishable and requires constant practice.
    - The more you bleed in training, the less you bleed in combat.
    - Owning a firearm does not make you invincible. Or bulletproof.
    - Owning a firearm does little good if you leave it at home or in the glovebox.
    - Every bullet fired has a lawsuit attached to it.
    - “Not being there in the first place” is the easiest way to win a gunfight.

    There’s more, but I forgot to write them all down… don’t get “too much gun”. Having a sidearm that is comfortable for YOU and something you can hit consistently with is way more important than the latest, greatest, most powerful combat tupperware on the market… in fact, I would go out of my way to recommend an old school “Pinned and Recessed” Smith & Wesson revolvers. Or a Colt Python.

    Once you learn how to shoot a revolver well, then you can pretty much handle anything.

    Check out some of the work of Ed McGivern or Jerry Miculek. Not saying you’ll be that fast, but if THEY can do it… just be competent and comfortable with what you carry. And know the law.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 2:11 pm

  28. AWD says:

    Funny. This story was bound to happen sooner or later. If it were me, I’d have had the tire fixed and outta there in 5 minutes. But that’s only because I nearly lost my life at the hands of black yuffs.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 2:22 pm

  29. ChrisNJ says:

    The reason the tire pressure warning light or alarm stayed on is because the sensor stays in the wheel that was flat. The spare does not have one.
    I went to Drexel and did that ride a lot in the late 80′s. I used to stop and help people with flat tires all the time because I thought they were sitting ducks, and two people would be better odds. Not sure if I would do the same today. Of course I was 20′ish then.
    You should get a CCW for sure.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 2:35 pm

  30. Bostonbob says:

    Subject: He could have used a warning!

    Burglar’s relative says: “He could have used a warning first…”

    From WTTC News in Dallas , we get this heartwarming tale of a long-time criminal, 33year old Deyfon, who tried to climb in a window of a Texas home.

    Dead burglar
    The elderly owner occupant saw him and fired one shot, ending Deyfon’s criminal career.
    As the police do, they came by to investigate, gathered the corpse, then went to notify Deyfon’s family of his unfortunate demise. It seems that the family was very upset, because they showed up at the scene.
    “He could have used a warning,” Lakesha Thompson, Pipkins’ sister-in-law, complained. “He could have let him know that he did have a gun on his property and he would use it in self-defense.”

    COMMENT FROM THE SIDELINE:

    “That’s certainly true, Lakesha. He could also have invited him in and given him a beer, then helped him cart the TV out to the curb. “Unfortunately for Deyfon , Texas is a Castle Doctrine State , and the homeowner chose to shoot Deyfon, as is right and proper to do in Texas .
    “For that matter, Lakesha, you could have warned Deyfon. Why didn’t YOU tell him: ‘Deyfon, yo’ needs to quit breakin’ into dem peoples’ houses and stealin’ dey shit. Else somebody goin’ to pop a cap in yo’ ass.’”

    Bob.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 3:06 pm

  31. Dutchman says:

    Thank god I left Allentown before it turned into a shit hole. At one time PA was the Keystone state. Now it’s pretty much a deserted, rust belt, shit hole.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 3:18 pm

  32. IndenturedServant says:

    SSS says:

    Anon posts an article on losing a cat.

    WTF?

    SSS, that is Clammy. She is now on a mission from GOD to shit all over admins site as Stephanie Shepard, Double, Curious and a host of other usernames. Must be off her meds.
    I_S

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 3:55 pm

  33. IndenturedServant says:

    admin, I’m glad you survived the 30 Blocks. Good thing the weather was bad, it tends to keep many of the nuts off the streets.

    Like WM said, around here, people stop to help. I stop to help when I can. I was out in the middle of bum fuck Egypt about 2o miles down a remote mountain road towing a trailer when I had a flat one day. I had not even seen any cars on my route but about ten minutes later and old guy comes by and offers to give me a hand. I said no but thanked him. He sat in his truck telling me about the local area until I finished.

    I agree with everyone who has suggested you get your CCW and a handgun. Find a friend that can take you out and shoot a couple different guns and teach you the very basics. Then find a certified instructor to learn the rest. The instructor can and will help with selecting a gun that is appropriate for you. DEFINITELY take Avalon and any available children with you.

    Besides being good protection, recreational shooting is a load of fun and a great way to let off some steam.
    I_S

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:07 pm

  34. SSS says:

    I_S

    You beat me to it. Stephanie Shepard is Calamity’s true name. If you click on that name, it will take you to her website, Time of Calamity.

    I knew she would be back, regardless of her motive. She probably misses messing with us old dudes and making us so mad we go through a half dozen Depends just reading her posts. Heh. Am I right, Steph?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 4:15 pm

  35. Llpoh says:

    I understand the clammy haunting my threads, but the Admin did her a solid. What the fuck?

    Admin, for a few quarts of Colt you could have hooked some locals up to the car, jumped on the roof with a whip, and had them pull you sled-dog like to somewhere safer. Gee is to the left, haw to the right. Or is it the other way around? I forget.

    You would have made every newspaper in the world. Our readership would have gone up a hundedfold overnight. Of course, Sharpton, Jackson, etc would now be parked at your doorstep. It would have been a small price to pay for the free promo.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:29 pm

  36. Kill Bill says:

    Hit a canyon size hoe. -admin

    Was her name Laquesha and carrying a bucket of KFC?

    2 suggestions admin….

    Run flat tires and depends.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:33 pm

  37. Bostonbob says:

    Billy,
    I love that video. There are some people you just do not fuck with. That is why I try to always be polite, but as my kids say “Dad you have an angry look”. It tends to keep people away.

    Bob.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:49 pm

  38. IndenturedServant says:

    admin may have hit a grand canyon sized pothole but he also nailed this!
    http://www.foxbusiness.com/industries/2014/01/15/jc-penney-to-shutter-33-stores-slash-2000-jobs/
    I_S

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:50 pm

  39. Anonymous says:

    Why was man’s comment in this thread deleted, Jim? Offensive statements?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 4:52 pm

  40. SSS says:

    Dutchman says:

    “Thank god I left Allentown before it turned into a shit hole. At one time PA was the Keystone state. Now it’s pretty much a deserted, rust belt, shit hole.”

    Well, yes and no. I left PA in 1962 when coal, steel, and the machine and tool industries were peaking. Today, all that is pretty much gone.

    Starting with Philly and Pittsburgh, the parts of PA controlled by Democrats are pretty much shitholes, as you said. But the demographics of the state have changed due in part to enormous loss of population in the shitties, plus the voters of PA seem to be heading to a more conservative camp, starting with the state government. Seem to be.

    That, plus the unexpected revenue produced by natural resources such as the Marcellus Shale Oil and Natural Gas Deposits, are keeping PA somewhat afloat. PA is not yet in the NY, IL, and CA camp, where budgets constantly keep pressure on to increase taxes. Not yet.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:55 pm

  41. Administrator says:

    Spammers will have their comments put in the spam file.

    I don’t have a problem with offensive statements. But, if someone’s sole purpose is to disrupt the site with spam, I treat them like spammers.

    Simple.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:55 pm

  42. Llpoh says:

    Anonymous makes a good point. I can be as offensive as the next guy. How come I never get deleted?

    That is discrimination. I am outraged, I tell you. Outraged.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:57 pm

  43. Llpoh says:

    Admin – may I point out Steph’s cat post? Seems like spam to me. Just saying.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:58 pm

  44. Llpoh says:

    Admin – how did you like my sled idea. I have been laughing since I thought of it. I amuse myself. Someone has to.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 5:00 pm

  45. Nick. A says:

    Tyre pressure monitoring system? Pretty “State of the Art” by our standards! Not that common on most Aussie vehicles (except the big trucks), and of course the “rather more expensive” marques / models.

    Might look at getting an aftermarket system for the Good Lady’s truck – and see how it fares with “Australian Outback” conditions!!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 5:01 pm

  46. Anonymous says:

    The “cat post” was not spam. It was a poke at man’s silly comment about a white psycho killing cats and hanging them “upside down” (or something like that).

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 4

    15th January 2014 at 5:20 pm

  47. Stephanie Shepard says:

    “poke at man’s silly comment about a white psycho killing cats”

    I thought it was a funny response

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 3

    15th January 2014 at 5:23 pm

  48. Scott says:

    Admin, I’m glad you got out of there in one piece. I bet you aged a few years last night. Those little tires are easy to change on a small car. Like AWD, I would have had that tire changed in 5 min’s. Your TPMS light was flashing because it was still reading low, or in your case no air pressure in your tire, even though the donut-spare tire was mounted. Also keep a pee bottle in your car for emergencies. I have one in my pick-up truck and it has saved me a few times.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:17 pm

  49. Kill Bill says:

    i dont think they put pressure transmitters in the spare. Likely it was reading the pressure of the tire in the trunk.

    And no, they dont make it easy to change a tire, that cheezy scissor jack in the trunk takes time to remove and place appropriately under the frame.

    two moe sgestions.

    Buy a small hydraulic jack that fits under the frame, or axle, and a 4 way tire tool to remove the lugnuts.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:28 pm

  50. Wyoming Mike says:

    Had a flat at 35th & Broadway in Phoenix a couple years back. Got out at a gas station to fix it & was surrounded by a handful of non English speaking gentlemen. Gave them 10 bucks to supervise while I fixed it.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 6:31 pm

  51. Hope@ZeroKelvin says:

    Admin: Three words: RUN FLAT TIRES. I drove my beemer on bare steel treads showing of these kind of tires for about 2500 miles after I evidently hit a pot hole (by the car computer)!

    Great story, I particularly enjoyed the bladder control issue (very near and dear to my heart, ummm bladder) and the list of expensive vehicles driven by the denizens of the 30 BLOCKS.

    Oh, also, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT CITY AND STATE!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:33 pm

  52. Kill Bill says:

    Had a friend whose dad owned a 70 Torino, Ram Air Hood, big block, factory mags, which they stole.

    The used, back then, 1977, tall Dr Pepper bottles to hold the car up.

    Saw it with my own eyes. The whole car off the ground by just 4 glass bottles.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:40 pm

  53. Kill Bill says:

    Would you rob somebody with this mail box? -AWD

    No, but if I were so inclined to theft, and I am not, i would steal whats in the mailbox or the mailbox itself =)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:42 pm

  54. Kill Bill says:

    Buying run flat tires cost money -AWD

    I I drove thru the 30Q the cost would be well worth coming home to the Mrs.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:44 pm

  55. SSS says:

    Kill Bill says:

    “i dont think they put pressure transmitters in the spare”

    Toyota does on the RAV4. Fucking low tire pressure light came on when I drove to Flagstaff (elevation 7,200′) from Tucson (elevation 2,600′). My four tires were fine. Guy at the gas station said, “Did you check your spare?” Sure enough, that was the culprit.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:45 pm

  56. Kill Bill says:

    Got a mercury villager here, low pressure light comes on when temp drops. Goes off after while when the tire heats up.

    O shit i have a flat OMG OMG OMG

    Spare never despairs.

    Add a lb or 2 and it goes off.

    The new and improved idiot light.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 6:55 pm

  57. Mary Malone says:

    Gosh Admin, so glad you are safe and sound. Could’a been a scene right out of “Bonfire of the Vanities” – or worse.

    Why are car companies making it so hard for drivers to change their own tires these days?

    Used to be something any of us could do – now, forgetabout it!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 7:27 pm

  58. Kill Bill says:

    Why are car companies making it so hard for drivers to change their own tires these days? -MM

    A hydraulic jack is fairly cheap, so is a good 4 way wrench [ by its cross design you can exert alot of torque the ninny at the wheel shop imbued]

    Make the jack easy to access and use, make it hydraulic, make the lug wrench better.

    Instead we get some 4g crappola built into the dash. Or like the new Corvette a camera that records your boredom in traffic you can send to friends.

    FFS.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 7:39 pm

  59. Kill Bill says:

    I’ve decided to dress like this when I drive through the 30 Blocks of Squalor to intimidate the Squalorites. -admin

    You might want to lose the insight.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 8:32 pm

  60. Zarathustra says:

    Admin, driving that tin can into a pothole, you’re lucky it didn’t collapse the suspension and twist enough sheet metal to total the vehicle.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 8:33 pm

  61. Kill Bill says:

    Admin, driving that tin can into a pothole, you’re lucky it didn’t collapse the suspension and twist enough sheet metal to total the vehicle. -Z

    Im gonna throw the bs card.

    *Beer can theory*

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 8:38 pm

  62. archie says:

    admin ran the west philly gauntlet! well done. i have nightmares about that still!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 9:03 pm

  63. El Coyote who is not bb says:

    Wyoming Mike says:

    “Had a flat at 35th & Broadway in Phoenix a couple years back. Got out at a gas station to fix it & was surrounded by a handful of non English speaking gentlemen. Gave them 10 bucks to supervise while I fixed it.”

    did you mean to suggest we are beaners, illegals, wetbacks, spics? non-English speaking, how do you know? all we wanted was a job, ese. gringos are funny, they pay you to watch. sometimes they pay you to ride with them on the freeway.

    as much time as admin spends in the ghetto, he should know that spare donuts are good for a few weeks, they just recommend you keep under 50mph but even that rule is flexible. and if you have watched any LA car chases, you know already that a vehicle can travel at highway speeds for about 20 miles on the rims alone after the cops shoot out your tires.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 9:07 pm

  64. El Coyote says:

    Anonymous says:

    “SURVIVING THE LOSS OF YOUR CAT”

    we had the support group meeting last week (on Llpoh’s post) for those grieving over the loss of a pussy. I got home today and greeted my cat out in the yard, “hi, clammy”. no one except the support group would understand my weak attempt to cope by means of substitution. I say we welcome the “fuckable” clammy back, let’s face it, SAH ain’t getting younger and she’s already scoping on AWD. (exactly what constitutes fuckable I do not know, I thought it involved a drunk chick and your parents were out until after midnight.)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 9:15 pm

  65. AWD says:

    Glad to hear they fixed the street. Those dependable union guys, always there in a pinch. But why were you driving through the 30 blocks two nights in row? Do you have a death wish or something?

    You need to read for comprehension. I said “probably” 8 year old tires, I was not emphatic. I’m glad they have a warranty on those tires you bought. Let me guess, you bought them at Sears or J.C. Penny? Did you have a coupon?

    I don’t recommend wearing a costume in the ‘hood. They might think it to be of some value (like sneakers) and kill you for it.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 9:31 pm

  66. AWD says:

    Hilarious Obama mask. The squalorites would be chasing you down the street demanding you pay their rent and give ‘em an iphone.

    You at least need to get a taser or some pepper spray to have in the car.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 9:33 pm

  67. Administrator says:

    AWD

    I have to drive this same route every day to get to the Schulykill Expressway. I now refer to all of West Philly as the 30 Blocks of Squalor.

    I paid full price at my dealer. I don’t skimp when it comes to maintaining my vehicles.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 9:35 pm

  68. Kill Bill says:

    Turing Fail
    quixote

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

    15th January 2014 at 9:48 pm

  69. gilberts says:

    It is starting to happen where I live, too. Last week, a woman sitting in her car at the grocery store had a black guy open the door with her, pull out a knife, and demand her money. He than trotted across the parking lot towards the shithole neighborhood where all the illegals and other productive people live. Another guy, who lives closer to that neighborhood, had an entire wheel stolen from his car one night. They left the jack under the car, which was nice, but otherwise he was out 1 wheel, leaving his commute a little more difficult than usual. I have a CC-they’re insanely easy to get where I live and the hardest part of getting one is going to your courthouse to pay for the paperwork. I rarely carry, but now I’m starting to keep a toy in the car with me for the unexpected.

    So I want to ask-what happened to those high tech nylon tires that I saw where they’re flexible and don’t use any air at all? They’re the ultimate runflat, since they’re made to run flat. Pretty cool idea.
    Also-when did they make it a rule that all new cars need tires that look like a piece of black construction paper wrapped around a wheel? Seriously-all the cars I see these days have these tiny little tires on them. They look like they’re tires off a Schwinn road bike. I guess if you never drove over speedbumps, immense potholes, or just gravel and road salt, they’re OK, but on a normal American road, I think they must fall apart fast.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

    15th January 2014 at 10:07 pm

  70. gilberts says:

    Oh, AWD-
    I would totally rob someone with a gun mailbox. First, Obviously, they’re not too bright to start with and B, they must have guns and other things worth taking.
    In real life, it’s almost always better to be a silent professional than advertizing to all and sundry that you’re armed or what your politics, religion, favorite ball team, etc are. Why? Because you are putting out intel to a potential foe.
    For instance: I’m Joe Badguy and I see your big, lame minivan driving down the road with a MY OTHER CAR IS A SMITH AND WESSON! sticker, an NRA sticker, an I HATE OBAMA/I LOVE OBAMA sticker, and one of those pathetic family stick figure stickers. OK, you have now told me your politics, the approximate size of your family (and in some cases, that you have a dog), and that you’re a gun owner. I can follow your car home, see where you live, and wait for all those little stick figures to get into the van when you drive off for little league or pizza or whatever. Now, I can go in your house, totally unimpressed by your STEAL HERE/DIE HERE sticker on the window, and clean you out. Your lame politics or taste in sports may just give me pause to key your car in the parking lot, too.
    My car has no stickers on it and no lame custom tags. It’s as anonymous as can be.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2

    15th January 2014 at 10:14 pm

  71. El Coyote says:

    gilberts says:

    “I would totally rob someone with a gun mailbox. First, Obviously, they’re not too bright to start with and B, they must have guns and other things worth taking.”

    I am so going to steal your numbering system

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 11:57 pm

  72. gilberts says:

    OK, A-that’s stealing and Second-why not be a unique and special snowflake in your own way? Dig around in the brainbox, there must be something…
    I breadmade in the breadmaker this morning and the flavor of hot, fresh, moist bread is wonderful before my morning commute.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 5:23 am

  73. El Coyote says:

    gilberts says:

    “OK, A-that’s stealing and Second-why not be a unique and special snowflake in your own way? Dig around in the brainbox, there must be something…”

    there’s lots of things there, some downright scary. don’t like to go there. off to work with the beautiful blonde

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 8:56 am

  74. Hope@ZeroKelvin says:

    @Admin: If you decide to carry, I recommend a Kimber .45 Ultralite Carry 2 with a crimson trace laser, keep handy several clips of ammo cuz in combat situations target acquisition even with trained soldiers is only about 25%.

    Anything less than a .45, IMHO, does not have enough take down power and just pisses off the perp. You only want ONE story being told, YOURS. I would also seek out an attorney for asset protection in case you are sued. I have all my assets in a Family Limited Partnership, which in Texas means I only own 1% of it, so that is all that can be targeted in a civil lawsuit.

    Practice at least weekly with full metal jackets but for the real world, use hollow points. FMJ will go right through a body or wall (collateral damage BAD), while hollow points will mushroom when hitting the target, delivering a lot of energy to the target, basically disintegrating
    inside your target. (GOOD). FMJ are also cheaper than hollow points.

    I didn’t do any formal training because Mr. HZK is an expert, but I highly recommend seeking out shooting courses. Proof of completing a gun course is helpful if you even have to shoot somebody.

    Aim small, miss small and don’t use a small caliber bullet on a large caliber target, heh.

    For all the NSA pukes out there reading this, let me go on record that I carry all the time, based on the law, and sincerely hope to NEVER have to shoot somebody to defend my life or property.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 1:19 pm

  75. IndenturedServant says:

    HZK said:
    “Practice at least weekly with full metal jackets but for the real world, use hollow points.”

    Good advice Hope but I suggest he put several dozen carry rounds through the gun as well. I’ve had FMJ work perfectly in a handgun and had hollow points hang/jam in the same gun. The manufacturer or a gunsmith can fix the problem if it occurs but it is far better to make damn sure your carry ammo is going to work in your gun before you trust your life to it.
    I_S

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

    15th January 2014 at 4:53 pm

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