Those fear mongering douchebags at DHS are at it again. They are warning airlines and Olympic officials of an imminent attack by toothpaste wielding terrorists. They’ve issued a Code Crest alert, with risk of a plaque attack.

Unnamed US security officials were quoted as saying there were fears toothpaste tubes could be used to smuggle explosives which could then be used to assemble a bomb either in flight or upon arrival at the Olympics. The Department of Homeland Security said in a statement that “out of an abundance of caution” it “regularly shares relevant information with domestic and international partners”. “While we are not aware of a specific threat to the homeland at this time, this routine communication is an important part of our commitment to making sure we meet that priority,” it added.

DHS hasn’t saved us from any fake terrorist attacks initiated by themselves in a few months. They need to keep the ignorant masses fearful and subservient as they protect us from phantom dental terrorists. As usual, DHS has absolutely nothing to back up their fear mongering bullshit. Are airlines supposed to confiscate every tube of toothpaste that is taken on their planes? Can you imagine the rampant levels of bad breath in Sochi? These DHS bozos spend tens of billions per year and have foiled NO real terrorist plots. They were warned about the Boston bombers by the Russians and did nothing. DHS is just a tool to keep the plebs under control and pliant to the demands of the ruling class.

This crap is nothing but further de-sensitizing of the masses to government removing more of your liberties in the name of safety. It’s beyond laughable, but the average dolt will actually believe DHS is protecting them.

I understand this new toothpaste will give you an explosive new smile.



  1. You can see it now… some Russian oligarch with a monopoly on toothpaste sold in Russia tells his marketing team to “spread chatter” that tubes of toothpaste are being used to bring explosives to Sochi. Immediately, the world’s surveillance and security apparatus freaks out, then begins to ban toothpaste on flights to / from Russia, forcing everyone to buy new toothpaste, thus netting the oligarch a massive return on almost no investment.

    Yeah, it’s stupid. But so are the DHS, TSA and all the other stupid goons out there terrorizing the sheeple with this kind of crap.

  2. Arab Bedouin tribes still clean their teeth by using the twigs of the arak tree, which contains antiseptic properties. Other Muslim and African cultures use a similar stick, called miswak, which naturally has a high concentration of cavity-fighting fluoride.

    A paper posted on the National Academy of Dentistry’s website says that Hindu Brahmins and priests clean their teeth using cherry wood for an hour, facing the rising sun. Another religious group in India, Jains, cleans their teeth using fingers and without using a brush.

    In other rural areas of India, people use twigs from mango, cashew or coconut trees.

    American media, with its thick skulled pliable muppetry is just f’ing pathetic

  3. This week the “two minutes hate” is to be directed at Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Kozak who inflamed the sensitivities of our leadership class daring to opine during news conference last week that the security in Sochi as far as the Russian state being able to guarantee total safety is —- “the same in Sochi as in Boston” and —– “For Example, in the United States, at the marathon, people died not so long ago”. OUCH!

    That has to really smart to have that vodka marinated, star spangled shit sandwich jammed down the throat particulary in the aftermath of the Super Bowl when of all people a (GASP) “truther” was able to penetrate millions of dollars in paramilitary forces and high tech security to hijack the microphone during game MVP Malcolm Smith’s press conference to deliver his message that 9/11 needs to be investigated.

    There is also the ongoing exploitation of another American demographic through the use of disgusting ‘gay baiting’ and the continuing drenched in hypocrisy hectoring of Putin over his less than stellar record towards homosexuals. This is laughable horseshit coming from the Obama administration which has turned the exploitation of the gay community for votes into an art form. It is even more ridiculous when considering that a good numer of American states, largely comprised of those down behind the cornbread curtain in Dixie have their own onerous laws against homosexuality in one form or the other (all denying personal rights) and the legitimately recognized portions of the American Christian establishment treat gays with the same sort of intolerance and hatred that the Ku Klux Klan espoused towards blacks or for that matter the establishment expresses towards all who do not heel to them.

    You know, Jesus Christ never once denounced gays but he sure as hell preached many a mean sermon against hypocrisy of the type that The Homeland is drenched in.

  4. As if Arabs or Russians brush their teeth. I never saw an Arab with good teeth. And Russians? Well, if the dental work I’ve seen was any indication, Jaws from the James Bond movies or the T1000 are about the speed of Russian dentistry.


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