I think plumbing is a great profession. I alone can make a plumber wealthy.

We had a pleasant drive to Wildwood on this nice sunny day. Temperature is about 40 degrees. The condo looked great from the outside. We walked in and everything seemed perfectly normal. Avalon needed to go pee pee after the 2 hour drive.

I hear her say, “we’ve got a problem”. The water was not running. There were no indications of a problem with the pipes in the condo. The main water valve is in the unheated storage area in our garage. The pipes are insulated with foam insulation. I went to the storage area and all seemed fine.

I called the Wildwood Water Utility and they said they’d send a truck to check it out.

But just then, Mike & Joyce pulled up in their SUV. I asked them if their water was working. They said it sure was, but that my pipes had burst the previous Sunday and were flooding the yard when it was 10 degrees. Mike came to our rescue by unscrewing the cover to the main water valve while soaking wet in 10 degree weather to turn off my water in the middle of the night.

Mike is the man. I have to admit when I’m wrong. Mike & Joyce are nice people who keep an eye on my property. Even the FSA has some good people.

Now I get to pay a plumber $500 to see his ass crack and get water flowing to my toilets.

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that Mexican food for lunch. This could get ugly. Can I hold out until we get to the Borgata? That is the $500 question.

Would anyone want to make an offer on my condo? You’ll have plenty of stories to tell.



  1. This was a sad story until the male ass cleavage, I threw up a little. Is that allowed under the new rules?

    If so we need balance, give us some Upton ass cleavage.

  2. Admin says

    “Would anyone want to make an offer on my condo? You’ll have plenty of stories to tell.”

    Sure. Just teleport it to South Padre Island. Hell, I’d even prefer the Syrian coast to fucking Wildwood.

  3. Admin,
    I told my daughter that if she did not want to go to college she should become a plumber. I am in the process of doing some work in my house and I have had the good fortune to have found both a young plumber and electrician. Both reasonable in their pricing. They both said they did not go to college because they thought it was a scam. Both seemed pretty bright in my opinion. The trades have not been taken over by the south of the border brethren as have much of the roofing, framing and, side walling. Until the power goes out and the water is shut off, you will always need plumbers and electricians.

  4. “Mike is the man. I have to admit when I’m wrong. Mike & Joyce are nice people who keep an eye on my property. Even the FSA has some good people.”

    What a refreshing observation, admin.

    Gratitude brings out good things in us all.

  5. I don’t think Google would approve of that display of nudity.

    Nice to know FSA Mike did the right thing, after all, you and I are paying his salary.

  6. Why didn’t Mike let you know via phone or E mail of the issue when it occurred?

    Ah yes….
    Adventures in remotely owned real estate.

    I had the frozen toilets and pipes problem 3 years ago in Delaware.
    I got down too late to winterize as I had planned.
    I got lucky. Nothing burst or cracked when I arrived in mid December.
    Spent the next 8 hours thawing out pipes, toilets and such. hairdryers and hot water on the stove finally opened it up.

    Fast forward to this year.

    I get a call from a neighbor telling me my back door was no longer on the place. Apparently, The wind ripped it from the door jamb at some point ,since nothing was ransacked or stolen.

    This is surprising to me since Sussex county has a terrible heroin problem and petty theft is common in the area.

    Knowing my neighborhood in Ocean View, Delaware has many feral cats, I mind started to race if they had found a new place to call home since the door was no longer there. I feared this “cat house” possibility more than theft or frozen pipes.

    Luckily we were able to contact some of my brothers in-laws family to go down and temporarily cover the door opening from the elements and the curious creatures nearby.

    It’s nothing that a pile FRN’s can’t fix.

  7. As far as skilled trades go, being an electrician kicks plumbing ass. You can be dumb as fuck and be a plumber, plus you have to bend over all day and crawl into some disgusting areas. Electricians cannot be stupid, especially if they are working on high voltage lines. Just the industry terminology ought to tell you something…regardless of what they are working on…either some white trash trailer, or an oil refinery, an electrician is an electrician. However a plumber is he who works on the white trash trailer. At the oil refineries, they are called pipe fitters and fabricators.

  8. FTTA,
    We use Pex on all of our jobsites. You still need a plumber to tie everything in properly, size all the piping, and tie in the finishes. If you are doing anything with a permit you will need a licensed plumber. On the other hand basic plumbing is relatively easy. I have installed outside silcocks, replaced shower valves, installed vanity faucets, all basic stuff. People should know how to do basic plumbing, electrical and carpentry, just for safety sake, and to understand what someone else is doing when they are working on their house.

  9. Pipes were bursting all around us in our town home development. Seems there’s a construction flaw in uninsulated garages. Winterizing basically involves turning off the water, draining the spigots, turning them off and turning the water back on.

    Roto Rooter and some of the disaster restoration services have been having a field day.

  10. admin, the good news is that you now know which pipes need the heat tape! Most plumbing is pretty easy to fix. The underground shit can be rather tough though.

  11. davel says:
    “My pipe has not burst in a long time, eventhough it has gone cold.”

    DaveL, you should take bb under your wing and teach him how to make a witty comment.

    I’m only kidding. I wouldn’t wish Mission Impossible on anyone.

  12. Zarathustra says:
    “Admin, you can thank him properly by giving him alcohol, cigs and weed.”

    admin, a bag of righteous weed is definitely in order for FSA Mike! Hell he might even take a bullet protecting your shit if you do that.

  13. Jim you should turn off the water before you leave and drain the pipes or force water out with air pressure. use marine anti-freeze in toilet bowls after shutting off water and draining tank by holding handle down.

  14. The icicles made the condo look like Liberace decorated.

    Oddly, we’ve had no burst pipes in Phoenix.

    Doesn’t insurance cover the fix?

  15. We pipefitters don’t like to be called plumbers!!

    To tell the difference, look in the ditch.

    If you see s44t it’s a plumber. (turdpuncher)

  16. Speaking of ice, those who love weather should take a look at these pictures of the Great Lakes from space:

    Record Ice Cover on Great Lakes


    On the bright side, this reduces evaporation. We may just see the record-low water levels in the Lakes return to normal. At least we can hope.

  17. Ass cracks or Giada. You decide. -SSS

    Hmmm. Toilets plugged.

    Fixed toilet with buttcrack


    italian food and cleavage.

    I really need both SSS

  18. What do you get when you add together cold temperatures and more government overreach?

    The EPA has recently banned the production and sale of 80 percent of America’s current wood-burning stoves, the oldest heating method known to mankind and mainstay of rural homes and many of our nation’s poorest residents. The agency’s stringent one-size-fits-all rules apply equally to heavily air-polluted cities and far cleaner plus typically colder off-grid wilderness areas such as large regions of Alaska and the American West.

    While the EPA’s most recent regulations aren’t altogether new, their impacts will nonetheless be severe. Whereas restrictions had previously banned wood-burning stoves that didn’t limit fine airborne particulate emissions to 15 micrograms per cubic meter (μg/m3) of air, the change will impose a maximum 12 μg/m3 limit. To put this amount in context, the EPA estimates that secondhand tobacco smoke in a closed car can expose a person to 3,000-4,000 μg/m3 of particulates.

    Most wood stoves that warm cabin and home residents from coast to coast cannot meet that standard.

    Only weeks after the EPA enacted its new stove rules, attorneys general of seven states sued the agency to crack down on wood-burning water heaters as well. The lawsuit was filed by Connecticut, Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Vermont, all predominantly Democrat states.


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