REAL CAUSE FOR REVOLUTION

Don’t fuck with our beer. Keep this shit up and we’ll take to the barricades.

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11 Comments
Zarathustra
Zarathustra
March 13, 2014 9:01 pm

Obviously they’re taking advantage of the intelligence (or lack thereof) of the typical hockey fan.

SSS
SSS
March 13, 2014 9:04 pm

When you beer drinkers hit the front lines, rest assured I’ve got your back, while sipping a fine cabernet sauvignon. Charge, peasants!!!!

EL GORDO
EL GORDO
March 13, 2014 9:09 pm

what about those two foot long drink cups, surely they have enough liquid for one day?

Balzytch
Balzytch
March 13, 2014 9:18 pm

WW3 may start any day, and these knuckleheads are worrying about not getting enough beer?

Stephanie Shepard
Stephanie Shepard
March 13, 2014 9:34 pm

Wow, that is a pretty bad rip off. I have seen some bad ones too, charging $8 per glass of wine when the retail price is the exact same, as well as charging 20+ for the bottle. The classics of charging top shelf for well drinks. I have worked as a Bartender I would never drink from at a restaurant. The alcohol rip off is huge, sometimes it is the only way the business is staying afloat along with over charging on meat dishes.

EL GORDO
EL GORDO
March 14, 2014 12:21 am

Arizonans take border security seriously.

TJF
TJF
March 14, 2014 7:21 am

Instead of thinking of it as a total rip off, why don’t they just buy the small beer, save $3 and be happy about it?

Stucky
Stucky
March 14, 2014 9:57 am

Hey, what if a bunch of soldiers got really drunk, right in the middle of the war? And started shooting at each other, just for fun? This happene3d in the Battle of Karansebes (1788)

How Did It Start?

So, in 1788, Austria was at war with Turkey. The Austrian army was marching down to clash with an advancing Turkish army in what is now Romania. Shenanigans ensued.

What happened was the Austrians set up camp for the night, and some scouts on horseback went out to check the immediate countryside for any armed Turks. They came across a band of gypsies with a shitload of schnapps for sale, which they eagerly bought and began drinking with a gusto rarely seen outside of a frat party.

A load of Austrian infantry were also out and about, and came across the group of scouts. They wanted to join the drinking. The boozy scouts refused and set up makeshift fortification in what probably seemed a really funny idea at the time. Things got heated, an argument broke out and someone got too excited and fired a shot.

What Happened Next?

All Hell broke loose, infantry and scouts firing wildly at each other. The infantry, in a state of confusion, began shouting that the Turks were attacking them. The scouts, even though it was they who were attacking their infantry, suddenly believed that there actually was a huge, swarthy, mustachioed Turkish army just behind them.

Filling their snazzy cavalry pants with rapidly escaping dinners, the scouts broke ranks and piled through the ranks of infantry. The infantry took this as a sign that the Turks were definitely there. They began a panicky withdrawal, all animosity forgotten in the face of the imaginary Turkish army.

Just when the whole affair couldn’t get any stupider, it did. The Austrian army was made up of soldiers from several countries and they spoke different languages. So when the German-speaking officers started shouting “Halt! Halt!” in their own language, the non-German-speakers mistook it for cries of, “Allah! Allah!”

The whole frantic group of soldiers finally arrived back at the main camp. An officer there, in a moment of slapstick brilliance, reasoned that the charging, shouting men must be a Turkish attack, and ordered an artillery strike.

Commander Hill.

The entire camp then awoke to the sound of an enormous battle and they all did what every disciplined soldier would do at a time like this: ran away in different directions, firing wildly. The situation escalated until the army was called into a general retreat from the imaginary enemy. Finally, not wanting to miss out on the fun, the leader of the whole operation, Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II, got knocked off his horse and landed in a stream.

Who Won?

The only real winner here was magnificent stupidity. For a more tangible result, we’ll say that the points went to the Turks, who arrived at the scene two days later to find almost 10,000 dead and wounded Austrians and, after they had all had a good laugh, promptly captured the town and surrounding countryside.

Stucky
Stucky
March 14, 2014 10:04 am

The Vodka War and Beer War

Poland and Hungary are quarrelling over the definition of vodka. For the Poles vodka is “an alcoholic beverage derived from cereals or potatoes.” Historically vodka is a colourless liquor made from grain. Traditionally it was made in Russia, the Ukraine, Poland and Scandinavia. However, the fact that potato vodka is also considered to be vodka, though potatoes were only introduced in these regions in the 18th century, indicates, according to some, that vodka can also be distilled from other products than grain or potatoes.

Hence, within the European Union, a fierce fight has broken out between the “vodka purists” and the “vodka liberalizers.” The EU tends to strictly regulate what the products its subjects eat and drink (from bananas, to cucumbers, to chocolate and beer) are to be called. However, Brussels does not yet have a strict definition for vodka. Indeed, until the Central and East European countries joined the Union in 2004 the EU did not need to deal with vodka much.

On 20 February Poland demanded that the EU prohibit anyone from calling an alcoholic colourless liquor without distinctive character, aroma or taste “vodka” unless it is made on the basis of cereals or potatoes. Poland was backed by Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Finland, Sweden, Denmark and Germany. The Hungarians, however, who make their vodka from grape marc or molasses, are outraged by the Polish pretentions. They are supported by Britain. The other EU members still have to make up their minds.

According to András Nagy of the Hungarian guild of spirits manufacturers, “modern active filtration techniques mean there is little or no difference in quality, taste or production cost, whatever the vodka is made from. We believe it is best for the market to decide on what is and isn’t good vodka.”

The Poles, however, do not want to have vodka watered down by the Hungarians. They claim that the Hungarian grape marc or molasses spirits do not taste at all like cereal or potato vodka. Hence Brussels should prohibit the Hungarians from calling their vodkas vodka.

The matter is being taken very seriously by Polish vodka manufacturers. They are having a rough time on their domestic markets since young Poles are turning their backs on spirits in favour of beer and wine. As a consequence foreign markets are becoming more important to Polish vodka producers, which is why they want Brussels to get the Hungarians out of Europe’s vodka market.

In the past the EU has fought long battles over the definition of beer. Germany’s “beer purity law” or “Reinheitsgebot” (originally enacted in April 1516) permitted only four ingredients in the beverage: water, hops, barley, and yeast. The Reinheitsgebot, which was Germany’s oldest surviving law, was officially lifted in 1987 after a European court ruling forced the Germans to allow foreign “non-pure” beers onto their markets. The law, however, was still apllied to beers made within Germany, until last year when a German court ruled that a German brewer who added sugar syrup to his brew was allowed to call it “beer.”

However, though the EU forced Germany to break with its centuries old traditions this does not mean that the Americans can get away with it. Last year the European Court of Human Rights in Strasburg ruled that the American brewer Anheuser-Busch is not allowed to use its Budweiser brand name in Portugal (or anywhere else in the EU).

According to the European Court only the Czech (government-owned) brewer Budejovicky Budvar is allowed to call its brand “Budweiser.” Anheuser-Busch, the world’s third largest brewer, started brewing Budweiser in 1876, 19 years before Budejovicky Budvar was founded in 1895. However, Budejovicky Budvar is located in the Czech town of Ceske Budejovice, which until the Second World War was inhabited by German-speakers who called the town by its original name Budweis. According to the court the Americans were not the first to brew Budweiser because beer had been brewed in Budweis since 1265.