9 Common Pursuits That Rob Us of Happiness

Hat tip Thinker

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/find-happiness/

 

“Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life.”

Happiness. We look for it in different places. Some of us hope to buy it. Some think we can earn it. Others look for it in a new job, a new relationship, or a new accomplishment.

But one thing remains: happiness is something we all desire. We were designed to experience it.

Why then, does it appear at times to be so elusive? How can a society search so desperately for something, but still struggle to find it?

Maybe it is because the pursuits we have set before us as a means to find it are actually keeping us from it.

Consider these 9 pursuits and how they may be distracting us from happiness. Each of them are common in our lives and in our world. But rather than contributing to our happiness, they may be robbing us of it.

9 Common Pursuits That Rob Us of Happiness

1. Following the crowd. The crowd rarely has our best interests in mind. Instead, they seek their own benefit. Scientists call this crowd mentality. And more often than not, following the crowd leads to destructive behaviors rather than life-giving. We would be wise to seek input into our lives from other sources than the popular perceptions of the day.

2. Trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby said it this way, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” We are never going to please everybody. At some point, we will hold an unpopular opinion—one that gives us meaning and purpose and passion. And when we do, we ought to hold on to it desperately.

3. Chasing wealth. Studies confirm it over and over again: once our most basic needs have been met, money contributes very little to our overall happiness. And yet, we continue to pursue more as if it holds the secret key to lasting joy. But those who desire riches bring temptation to themselves and are often caught in a trap. Happiness is never the byproduct of chasing wealth.

4. Desiring a picture-perfect life. Happiness is not something we discover only after everything is perfect with our lives (our jobs, our appearance, our relationships). If that were the case, none of us would ever experience happiness. This world is imperfect—always will be. But happiness can still be found once we realize perfection is not a prerequisite.

5. Building our own kingdom. The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center. Living selfishly for our own personal gain will never produce lasting happiness and fulfillment. Our lives are designed to be lived for something far greater. And only those who discover the hidden joy of living for others will find a happiness that truly lasts.

6. Entertaining distraction. Our world has become a constant feed of information, noise, and entertainment. Each distraction enters our mind with one goal: Gain control of our attention and resources. Those who sacrifice their resources to unlimited curiosity will never find the mental or financial capacity to become something greater.

7. Fighting for recognition. Searching for happiness in recognition is a losing endeavor. The world will never give you the respect or accolades you so desperately desire. They are all too busy fighting for their own. You will need to find it elsewhere.

8. Succumbing to fear. If given the chance, fear will always cripple. It will steal your life and potential. Living your fullest life will require courage in the face of fear. Sometimes you will fail. But be strong, most of the time, you will succeed—or become better because of it.

9. Searching for it around the next corner. Happiness is not something to be chased. It is a decision to be made.

And you have everything you need right now to choose it.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
10 Comments
card802
card802
April 11, 2014 9:16 am

Shit, happiness tax right around the corner.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
April 11, 2014 9:29 am

I think the artificial vagina could solve a lot of this.

TPC
TPC
April 11, 2014 9:46 am

I’ve been accused of 3-5, while I may be chasing two of them, they aren’t the reason I’m chasing them.

That is worded confusingly. I’ll try again. I’m not interested in wealth, for wealth’s sake. For me, its a means to an end. I want it so I can be debt free, so that my wife can quit her job and sew/cook/garden to her heart’s content. I want it so that I can move out of the city and start becoming self sufficient.

I’m on my way to that life, its just taking longer than I would like. Oh well. The most important lesson I learned while growing up was patience.

Pirate Jo
Pirate Jo
April 11, 2014 10:44 am

Frankly I can’t get behind the idea that happiness is a “decision you make.” That may have been true at one point in time, but too many people are struggling now because of things beyond their control, and I can’t point my finger at them and loftily declare that, “If you’re unhappy, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT.”

Money might not buy happiness, but being broke can make you miserable. Well, just don’t be broke, right? 30 years ago maybe you could tell that to people. Now?

You shouldn’t count on your work to give your life meaning, but a really awful job can ruin your life. Well, just get another job, right? Sure, how’s that working out for everyone?

As everyone’s standard of living continues to decline, and they are forced to try to get by and cope within a system that is fundamentally screwed and which they can’t escape, no, it is NOT their fault if they are not happy.

bb
bb
April 11, 2014 10:45 am

Happiness is an emotional feeling that comes and goes .What you want is joy .Then you have that happy feeling.

TPC
TPC
April 11, 2014 11:03 am

@bb – The definition of joy is “great happiness.” They are one and the same.

What you meant to say is: “What you want is contentment.”

The key is to strike a balance between the blind acceptance of situation that Buddhists preach, and the all consuming desires that capitalism preaches.

I think it all comes down to freedom. How free are you? Its really an easy question. Your freedom should be limitless within the confines of your own person. That is to say, its limitless as long as it doesn’t intrude upon another human.

Obviously entire volumes can be generated detailing every point where two persons’ freedoms overlap, but ultimately that is the question all people need to ask themselves.

“How free are you?

bb
bb
April 11, 2014 1:41 pm

TPC , joy or contentment are one and the same ?Damn ,I’m not sure .
None of us are truly free .We are all Enlaved to base desires and lust (flesh).We are enslaved to the world
System and we are under God s Providence .Just think of all the things that control us.From debt to government to God and a thousands of other things .(even time )

TPC
TPC
April 11, 2014 1:46 pm

Joy and happiness are the same.

Contentment is something else entirely.

Stucky
Stucky
April 11, 2014 1:52 pm

There is a difference.

Happiness ———– when the prettiest girl in the bar actually talks to me.

Joy ———————- I actually get in her pants.

Contentment ——— a.k.a., The Minute After

a cruel accountant
a cruel accountant
April 12, 2014 6:05 pm

TPC

check out

http://earlyretirementextreme.com/

Homepage

http://www.bravenewlife.com/