QUICK, DISARM THE CRAZY VETS!

Is it me or is it getting harder and harder to distinguish “serious” reporting on DC initiatives and shit that should have an onion leaf at the end of it?

Lawmaker Introduces Bill Requiring Veterans To Warn Neighbors Of Their Combat Service

By  | April 15, 201412 Comments

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a second mass shooting at Ford Hood, at least one lawmaker thinks a bill currently under consideration will ensure the safety of American communities by requiring the estimated 2.6 million unstable veterans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan to tell their neighbors of their combat service.

The Fortify & Unite Communities to Keep Veterans’ External Threats Secure Act (H.R. 1874) which was introduced on Tuesday, would require military veterans to register with the Department of Homeland Security and periodically “check-in” with a case officer, in addition to going door-to-door in their neighborhood to notify people nearby that they are a powder keg of post traumatic stress, alcoholism, murder, and hate just waiting to blow.

“We really feel that we can drastically minimize the damage to some communities, especially those in troubled ‘PTSD hotspots‘ that have become a haven for these psychopathic troops,” said Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.), who sponsored the legislation. “We are so thankful for their service, and now they can continue to serve on veterans probation.”

For the safety of communities, the FCC would also direct cable providers to block access to violent war content popular among veterans, to include The Military Channel and Lifetime. Further, a preliminary letter details instructions sent to providers to censor movies such as “Black Hawk Down” and “Saving Private Ryan” so as “not to place a veteran into a potentially violent mental state and protect the community by not ‘poking the bear.’”

The bill is up for vote in the House Veterans Affairs Committee next Thursday where watchers say it’s likely to pass before going to the floor for a full vote. However, there’s been some controversy surrounding one part of the bill barring veterans from living within 1,000 feet of bars, gun ranges, or liquor stores, as critics claim this would be unfair to local businesses.

Lawmakers are still debating a requirement that veterans need approval before moving to a new community they would eventually terrorize. An amendment requiring case officers to place crazed veterans in a locked safe room for the 24 hours of Independence Day and New Years Eve had already passed.

Duffel Blog investigative reporter Wolfman contributed to this report.

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MuckAbout

This particular piece of idiocy had best not “pass”.

If Congress is stupid enough to wipe out First Amendment rights of veterans – and I’m one of them – (I even feel a slight eye twitch from stress I suffered being shot at by drunken Arabs in 1957 while watching the Brits jump into the Suez Canal) I’ll happily load all the ammo I have in the car and accompany any group effort in Washington D.C.. I’ll even bring several buckets of Tar and a large sack of feathers and few brooms.

I hope this is misreporting. If not, it’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard of.

MA

Zarathustra

At the peak, 500,000 americans “served” in Vietnam. The total for the roughly 8 years of US combat involvement in the war must be several million. The US lost and unlike today, the majority of the american public was disgusted with the war, did NOT consider the returning vets heroes nor honor them in any way.
The boomers called them baby killers, but most people just wanted to pretend the whole useless affair never happened.

I can tell yall from personal experience that some of them returned batshit crazy. The term PTSD had yet to be invented. “Shell shock” was a common term, besides others such as “fucked up.”

To my knowledge, few if any of them went on any killing sprees.

harry p.

This isnt for real, right?
They couldnt actually create this and have its acronym be FUCK VETS Act

Hollow man
Hollow man

From respecting vets to putting them in rubber rooms. We deserve what we get. How much longer do we wait.

Gayle
Gayle

When I checked I found H.R.1874 is the Pro-Growth Budgeting Act. It looks like a routine boring piece of legislation and amendments make no mention of veterans.

So this is an Onion wannabe?

Iska Waran
Iska Waran

The sponsor of the bill is a moran.

Slick willy
Slick willy

This is so funny & look at the commentators that think it’s true. One word “Satire”.

Billy
Billy

Yeah, pretty much a satirical piece…

But, in fairness, that squid cunt Feinstein remarked something like “all vets are mentally ill” about a week ago… at least, that’s what I read so take it with a grain of salt.. it sounds like something she would say.

TJF
TJF

harry p nailed it. The acronym is indeed FUCKVETS. That is the only tip off that this piece is not an actual news story. The fact that it is difficult to distinguish whether this is a real article or satire only goes to prove how lost and out of touch the people in DC supposedly representing us really are.

Zarathustra

Cynical, I’ll tell ya my second favorite vietnam veteran encounter (my favorite takes longer). Saigon fell when I was a senior in high school. I was on the school newspaper staff and they had invited a two tour marine alumnus of our school with combat experience to speak in the auditorium about his experiences there. I don’t remember his speech but I’m certain it was heavily edited. I think he graduated around 1968 or something.

Anyway, I interviewed him for an article in our school paper. One of the questions, an obvious one, was how he was adapting to the return to civilian life. First of all, this guy still had the jarhead head shave, had black horn rimmed glasses and looked like a geek who probably had the crap beaten out of him several times prior to his joining the marine corps. Likely it’s the main reason he did.

He told me that when he was walking down the street and anyone looked even at his shoes, he had an urge to plunge his kbar knife into their stomach.

True story.

AKAnon
AKAnon

Holy smoke-some unlikely TBP candidates for this week’s Zippy award.

Nunya
Nunya

EXCUSE ME, but we live in a country where our gov’t is considering a tax on cow farts,

howsabout making your satire a little more obvious by coming out and saying it’s satire. OTHERWISE

the lunacy you report may very well be believed since we have lunatics ruling.

Steve
Steve

You idiots…this article is a joke from duffel blog, it’s kind of like the onion but military. Jesus anything to rile up the uninformed and dim witted.

Rick Caird
Rick Caird

I thought it was serious until I saw it was from Moran. Next up, Moran tells us how much he loves our troops.

guerilla
guerilla

I know several vets, my brother is a vet. This bill is trash. The only reason i am not a vet is because i knew in at 20 that i didnt want to sell my soul for a paycheck. Those who served this country did so out of patriotism or no other option in life from poor choices & most are better thanms to the stability the got from fighting for what they thought was right.

If you want to pass a bill on military it should be on mental evaluations for those who want go be enlisted to see if they can handle combat.

Kevin
Kevin

Clever post, entertaining perhaps, but definitely Not True……..The real H.R. 1874 according to GovTrack…..filed Apr 4, 2014 – is “To amend the Congressional Budget Act of 1974 to provide for macroeconomic analysis of the impact of legislation. “Pro-Growth Budgeting Act of 2014 (H.R. 1874) – GovTrack.us https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/113/hr1874‎

Plainsman
Plainsman

If this article is serious, the author is delusional in his conclusion of passage of such a bill. The chair of that committee is from a strong military district. His close working partner on the committee is my representative. I know their stand on veterans issues.

I think we are are reading an article that is circulating 14 days too late.

John Galt
John Galt

Relax. The Duffle Blog is a parody site similar to the The Onion. It focuses on military issues. This is not for real. Don’t snap or they will take YOUR guns away.

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