You gotta love these corporate douchebags and the Wall Street shysters fleecing muppets. The headlines are screaming about how JC Penney exceeded expectations. The Wall Streeters are pumping the stock up by 10% after hours to lure in some muppets, before selling tomorrow. 

JC Penney puts out a 500 word earnings release that doesn’t include an income statement or a balance sheet. Just a bunch of propaganda about a glorious future.  After 480 words of fluff and bullshit, they wait until the last sentence of the press release to admit they lost $352 million in one quarter. Here is a company on track to lose over $1 billion for the third fucking year in a row and the Wall Street scum are telling you to buy the stock.

Propaganda and storylines will not keep JC Penney from going bankrupt.

Here’s the reality check:

2007 1st Qtr Sales – $4.35 billion

2014 1st Qtr Sales – $2.80 billion

You aren’t reading that wrong. These bozos are crowing about a 6.2% comparable store sales increase that leaves their sales 36% BELOW where they were SEVEN years ago. They also had a profit of $400 million in the 1st quarter of 2007.

Jim Cramer says buy. This is a can’t miss growth story. BUY BUY BUY



(Thomson Reuters ONE via COMTEX) — Same Store Sales Up 6.2 Percent

First Quarter Highlights:

– Same store sales increase 6.2%, exceeding guidance; second consecutive quarter of growth

– Gross margin improved 230 basis points from same quarter last year

– SG&A savings of $69 million; 490 basis point improvement from last year

– New upsized credit facility further strengthens Company’s financial position

– Opened 30 new Sephora inside JCPenney locations, bringing total to 476

PLANO, Texas – (May 15, 2014) – J. C. Penney Company, Inc. JCP+15.81% today announced financial results for its first quarter ended May 3, 2014.

Myron E. (Mike) Ullman, III, Chief Executive Officer said, “We are very pleased to report that JCPenney delivered its second consecutive quarter of comparable store sales growth, as well as continued gross margin improvement. It is clear that our efforts to re-merchandise many areas of the store and revamp our messaging to the customer are taking hold. Despite a difficult retail environment, our strong performance during the Easter holiday period and other key promotional events enabled us to deliver better than anticipated sales results. We expect to carry this momentum into the second quarter as we continue to position the company for long-term profitable growth.”

Financial Results

For the first quarter, JCPenney reported net sales of $2.80 billion compared to $2.64 billion in the first quarter of 2013. Same store sales increased 6.2% and improved sequentially each month within the quarter.

The Company said that, going forward, it will simplify its same store sales calculation to better reflect year-over-year comparability. Certain items, such as sales return estimates and liquidation sales, will now be excluded from the Company’s same store sales calculation. Under this new methodology, comparable store sales in the first quarter rose 7.4 %, which includes online sales that grew 25.7 % over the same period last year. For the full year, the Company expects the new sales reporting methodology to have a 10 to 20 basis point impact.

Women’s and Men’s apparel, Home, and Fine Jewelry were the Company’s top performing merchandise divisions in the quarter. Sephora inside JCPenney also continued its strong performance. Geographically, all regions delivered sales gains over the same period last year with the best performance in the western and central regions of the country.

For the first quarter, gross margin was 33.1 % of sales, compared to 30.8 % in the same quarter last year, representing a 230 basis point improvement. While better than last year, gross margin was negatively impacted by an increase in clearance sales as a percentage of total sales in February and March, as well as negative clearance margins. Gross margin improved sequentially throughout the quarter, and the clearance sales mix returned to historic levels by quarter end.

SG&A expenses for the quarter were down $69 million to approximately $1.01 billion or 36.0 % of sales, representing a 490 basis point improvement from last year. These savings were primarily driven by lower corporate support costs, advertising and improved credit income.

Operating income for the quarter was a loss of $247 million which represents a 49.2 % improvement over last year. For the first quarter, the Company incurred a net loss of $352 million or ($1.15) per share.


  1. The only investment I’m buying right now is Silver, Ammo, and Gold. In that order. Canned goods is a good investment too. Retail sucks.

  2. JCP tries to lure me in with special offers.

    I just laugh.

    I don’t need them like I don’t need amazon or walmart.

    My list is growing. 😛

  3. JCP was a good retail store 30 years ago. Sucks now. Even if people were spending more it wouldn`t be there. Same for SEARS. They both were going down hill even in ig spending times.

  4. I can’t remember Penny’s and Sears being anything other than dull, humdrum places to shop for necessities like mattresses and kid’s clothes. I have only shopped at either twice in my life, always on a cold, snowy night when I had lost my gloves and the Penny’s or Sears was right there.

    Everybody now beats them on price for these staple items. Sears totally threw away its lead in things like tools, work clothes and work shoes for blue collar jobs, and appliances.

    I don’t know what reason they have for continuing to exist.

  5. Admin. is right on, but the business model of losing a billion dollars a year and still staying open makes little sense to me.

  6. Admin is being negative as usual. That is what drives the economy, feelings, not numbers. Think positive and things will be different. Listen to Pharell’s “Happy” and you’ll immediately change your assessment….See?!


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