While in Wildwood for Memorial Day weekend we witnessed the usual obese tattooed pierced masses aplenty. The foul mouthed multitude of morons were out in force consuming vast quantities of fried oreos, boardwalk fries, Mac’s pizza, Kohr’s ice cream, and Laura’s fudge, before drinking themselves into a stupor. Meanwhile, the air conditioner in my money pit condo was throwing in the towel after 13 years. What was another $4,400 for a new air conditioner for my underwater “investment” property?

But at least we had our bikes, the boardwalk and the ocean. Avalon and I went on our usual early morning trek to “the rocks” at 2nd & JFK Boulevard. The rocks were the jetty that has been there for decades. When I was a kid we would walk our dogs down to the rocks every night. My Dad taught me how to fish from those rocks. I inherited my Dad’s patience. I could stand on those rocks for hours, casting my line into the glistening ocean and waiting for a flounder, blue or weakie to take the bait.

I never fell off those rocks. I never saw anyone ever fall off those rocks. If I had fallen, my Dad would have called me a dumbass and told me to get up. The jetty was always wet from the ocean spray. Slippery green moss grew abundantly. It’s called nature. In the America I grew up in, if you fell down, you got up. You didn’t sue someone because you were an idiot who couldn’t keep their balance. The jetty was created to protect the beaches from erosion and has been used by Dads teaching their kids to fish since the 1960’s.

You can’t stand on those rocks anymore. According to the control freak government drones, it’s now a crime to step foot on those rocks. They threaten to fine you and throw you in jail for stepping foot on some rocks that have been stood upon without incident for fifty years. The picture below captures the pure utter idiocy of a government gone wild. What a pathetic joke this country has become. Some politician listens to some lawyer, who thinks city insurance rates will be lower if they put up some ridiculous danger sign to keep citizens from enjoying themselves and carrying on a tradition of fathers teaching sons how to fish. I wonder if those two four year old girls realized how much peril they were in.

Does that two foot drop from the jetty strike you as life threatening? This is what passes for high risk in this nation of pussies. But the government drones didn’t think one ridiculous sign was enough. They had to cement in a second sign to provide the exact same message. Sometimes I wonder how low the IQs of the government drones must be. It almost as if they are incapable of using their brains.

After escaping this perilous landscape, we hopped back on our bikes, taking our lives into our hands by not wearing helmets like Obama, and rode another quarter mile to the Hereford Lighthouse to take in some more scenic views. The lighthouse is surrounded by lovely well kept flowering gardens. The gardens are well manicured and weeded by meticulous Boomers. These old folks look down upon visitors with children. They love rules and regulations. Avalon and I had to laugh and shake our heads when we saw the sign below. These control freaks actually think butterflies care about kids chasing them. They think they can stop this butterfly abuse with a sign.

What is it with control freaks and signs? There are a vast swath of people in governmental positions of authority who don’t think you can make rational decisions without their rules and regulations. They don’t trust you to live your own life. They want to control every aspect of your daily existence. Every law, regulation, directive, bylaw, rule, edict, decree and command imposed upon our lives by sociopathic, unintelligent, controlling government apparatchiks takes away freedoms, liberties and our right to live our lives as we see fit. Years of indoctrination in government run schools and being inundated with decades of propaganda preaching “government knows best” has brainwashed the masses to accept and embrace the ridiculous notion that these control freaks make us safer, improve our lives, and act in our best interests.

Will we ever come to our senses, take personal responsibility for our own lives, and shake off the yoke of authoritarian government control? I keep looking for signs.


  1. 1) Some Hmong person should twist their ankle on the jetty and sue because there was no sign in Hmoob.
    B) In the old days, bike helmets were only for retards, and retards rode giant trikes.
    3) Obama is a fag.

  2. Yup. In my town they posted a sign for the kids not to take the tadpoles out of a pond. It’s better to run them over with your golf cart after they turn into little frogs. Wtf

  3. Nice story. It’s not safe to ride a bike, hike, walk (but okay to ride a scooter), or do any exercise of any kind. You might have a stroke, heart attack, or injure yourself. It’s better to stay at home, on the couch, and eat yourself into an early death. You can’t sue Coke and Doritos, but you can sue anybody and everybody for any injury related to exercise; so don’t do it. Do even go outside, you might get skin cancer.

    I wonder how your section 8 neighbor is making out. Disability is the gold standard of entitlement programs, and he’ll never have to spend a dime on an air condition unit, or anything else. It’s amazing how he can live at the beach on the taxpayer’s dime, but not be able to work.

    I was at Sam’s club yesterday, increasing my preps. It seems to me things are getting crazier by the day. It had drizzled a bit, and this girl about 20, who weighed more than 350lbs, waddled into the store and fell inside. She blew out her knee, whereas if she wasn’t morbidly obese, she would have got off her fat ass and continued shopping. But no, she was laid out, unable to walk, they had to call an ambulance, and I’m sure several lawyers were chasing her ambulance for a big pay-day.

    Your article reminds me there is no such thing as personal responsibility anymore, which makes it all the easier for the fascists in governments high and low to further clamp down on the imbeciles that inhabit this country. Everything is a right, including free healthcare, so abuse your health as much as possible, and abuse everything else, it’s somebody else’s responsibility. The government’s got you covered. They have your best interests in mind, so don’t take any responsibility for anything you do, otherwise you’re a fool.

  4. “What was another $4,400 for a new air conditioner for my underwater “investment” property?” ——–Admin

    Pussy. My parents didn’t get an air conditioner until I moved to Indiana. I was 27. One of our first apartments was a 3rd floor walk-up … an attic, really. Hotter than hell in the summer. We used these ….


    No one died.

    You don’t understand …. they WANT people to walk on the jetty. It’s called revenue generation.

    We have a park 100 yards from the house. Yup, it has a huge sign. I never read it in full. But, I’m guess there are about 10-12 things YOU CAN’T DO!!! No horseplay, … WTF?, it’s a goddamned park! …. you must wear shoes, shirts also, and such motherfucking horseshit. Comforting to know that “they” hate us for our freedoms.

  5. I recall a treacherous experience from my Boomer childhood. I lived in the northern Sacramento Valley, and when I was about 7 years old, my friend’s grandfather decided to take us fishing up in the Sierra Nevada foothills. This required us to leave home by 4:00 a.m. or so. I had never had to get up so early. I recall a beat up old pickup, the bed of which he transformed into a cloud of quilts and pillows fit for princesses. When at last we were ready to go, we snuggled down, laying on our backs and hugely enjoying the magical ride – probably 90 minutes – into the hills under a black canopy of star-studded magic. I count this as one of my peak childhood experiences.

    Think of it: no seat belts, no helmets, in the back of a pickup on a narrow, windy mountain road. That grandpa would be arrested today and probably charged with child abuse.

    The fishing in the creek provided dozens of fish. We didn’t see another soul, and I’m certain there wasn’t a warning sign of any kind to be found within miles. Good old days indeed.

  6. Riding bikes is dangerous….


    Evil and obviously racist sources are trying to draw parallel between our great leader and this very white and less than a real man, almost feminine character. Fortunately the IRS is already auditing the responsible parties. FORWARD


  7. Long live off road motorcycles. Yamaha YZ 250 rales. Goes very fast over anything for those who do not indulge. My 14 year old is blazing fast. Broke his arm once 3 weeks later racing again. Tough guys are still out there.

  8. Please do not chase butterflies. This is their home…..How do they expect kids to get exercise if they can’t chase bugs….I recently got to go back to an old fishing hole we fished when we were kids. I kid you not .A sign said …. no boats allowed ..I and my friend just stood there feeling like idiots.

  9. Stucky,

    You mean you all never heard of a swamp cooler? In seriously dry air, such as air conditioning where the moisture is removed, I used to get nosebleeds…

    Before swamp coolers, we had this thing called a WINDOW. When you got hot, you opened it. On seriously hot days, we might even break out the sprinkler and run through it…

    1. Tenants tend to require air conditioning when it is 90 degrees outside and there are condos on both sides blocking air flow.

  10. AWD

    You’ll love this anecdote from our weekend down the shore. Joyce, our Section 8 neighbor, told us a heartwarming story about how one of our tenants convinced her to get Gastric Bypass surgery to take off those 150 unwanted pounds. Nothing like our tax dollars being used by fat asses to avoid exercise and controlling urges.

    Gastric bypass surgery update – it ain’t working.

  11. Admin – 13 years is nowadays regarded as a “good life expectancy” for A/C systems. The newer Inverter systems may be amazingly efficient but they are not so durable as the older style “On or Off” thermostatic models, especially if you live in coastal areas (the electronics are very prone to salt corrosion)

    Our two-storey sizeable home has A/C upstairs and downstairs. The downstairs keeps the house warm in the cooler months (very efficient heatpump) with the upstairs “helping out” if need be. We VERY rarely use the system for cooling – just open the windows and maybe use the ceiling fans, and we’ve comfortably survived a few 45 C days! (which is 113 F for you Americans out there)

  12. I worked at a place that had a sign over the fart fan switch in el bano that said ‘Please leave fan on whenever necessary’. I could never figure out whether it was necessary or not. Was a burrito fart the threshold, or chood I wait until performing an actual numero deuce to leave it on. Signs make me nervous, main. Odelay.

  13. Here in the once and future nation of Militiagan, we have much scarier piers and jetties, a few of which have warning signs like that, others do not. Even the ones that do, mostly just tell you it’s a very bad idea. And up on Gitcheegumee, people do actually get swept off the jetties by big waves and are never seen again, so the signs aren’t totally stupid. But unless it’s changed this year, no one gets arrested for trying their luck.

    Trying not be a regional chauvinist but it’s hard not to tie this ridiculous situation with the state it’s from.

  14. I was in Iceland last year-a place arguably relatively European/socialist. I was absolutely shocked that an artsy-fartsy sculpture on the beachfront of Reykjavik was accessible to the public. It was a life size artsy stainless steel version of a whale skeleton, and there were kids climbing on it, no ropes, fences or warning signs. Honestly, it looked pretty dangerous to me, and I am not inclined to be especially safety conscious. There were lots of other “hazardous” situations, and even driving through road construction is more or less “at your own risk”. There is no way on god’s green earth a DOT in the USSA could get away with mixing the travelling public traffic with heavy equipment ops the way the Iceland DOT did. They must trust their folks not to be dumbshits. Either that, or their legal system is not as corrupt and distorted as ours. It was downright refreshing.

  15. For Persnickety http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9vST6hVRj2A

    If I ever run for governor of MN, my platform will be that we invade Isle Royale and lay claim to it. Michigan my ass. One of my best memories of Cape Cod is the jetties of Dennis. I reserve the God-given right to slip on moss, hit my head and die in Nantucket Sound while a Great White makes a snack of me. My worst memories of the Cape are the fags of Provincetown. Go head and vote me down.

  16. Back when the History Channel actually had, you know, history related programming, they would from time to time play a documentary on the Robin Hood era. This documentary would go into length describing “forest law” that was instituted after the Norman Conquest, which basically meant that all forests belonged to the King, as did all the resources and animals within them. Anything taken without the King’s consent resulted in “outlaw” status, literally meaning no law could protect that person from any consequences of life and limb. The documentary really tries to illustrate the absurdity and overreaching of the King’s hubris, then transitions into the stories of the Robin Hood character.

    But are we really much different from those in the past we almost jokingly deride for their misfortunes? Today we have forest law with a vengeance. The peasants of early medieval England were prohibited from taking certain things. Modern Americans are prohibited from doing everything. Today, an action is assumed to be prohibited unless permission is expressly given. Signs like these posted above litter the country, and for every sign posting a warning, there are most likely dozens of unposted regulations just waiting to be enforced at the drop of a hat. Yes, 70 years ago America had no problem sending its conscripted teenagers from flyover country to the beaches full with machine guns, mortars, and the Luftwaffe, but today the sharp rocks pose just too much of a danger to exist unregulated.

    The descriptions of the masses in this article are spot on, although I believe we are running out of words to describe the levels of depravity that now pass for normal. I believe I can witness every facet of hunter-gatherer society present on any given day in America. From the tribal tattoos, piercings, freak show haircuts, rag clothing and grunting noises (usually followed by a “bro” every other word,) it’s all there. These people have no idea they are living in a modern version of forest law, nor do most of them have any problem with being corralled in every way shape and form. They believe they are free but really are on a fancy leash that extends from their home, to their workplace/benefits center, and to the shopping malls of America. Ignorance is bliss. This tungsten-filled cubic zirconia of a country continues to masquerade as the Hope Diamond.

  17. “If I ever run for governor of MN, my platform will be that we invade Isle Royale and lay claim to it. Michigan my ass.”

    LOL good luck. Minnesota is a cold Belgium, or Americanized Stockholm – tons of blond people, some of them hot, clean streets (and high prices!), good food, lots of culture, and military might that fails to intimidate Liechtenstein. Michigan’s lower peninsula is like Switzerland – mostly minds its own business, but not a place you invade and come back from. The UP is like Finland – very little there besides trees and moose, but show up unwelcome and the natives will go all Simo Hayha on your ass. And the locals closest to Isle Royale are mostly Finnish, so you can take that warning literally.


  18. It’s not the government on this issue. It’s the people. A large portion of the population approves of those signs. I dare say, the majority of people approve of those signs.

    The good news is that America is simultaneously becoming more free. It’s you might say a barbell country where a fork in the road is determine your fate.

    Chamonix has always been the most free place on earth. It changed my life from which there is no going back. In the US most of what we do now was once illegal but freedoms were fraught for by a collection of free spirited individuals. Our culture is becoming more acceptable at the extremes and becoming fashionable and the culture norm in some places as well.

    But our lifestyle is a world wide quandary that envelopes us all. If you pay attention to Andreas Franssons website he doesn’t talk about his exploits for we all know what they are. But rather he focuses on what he thinks society’s expectation should be for him back in Sweden.

    The moral of our experience of life is that once you taste real freedom outside the box you will never go back. But you will have to fight back the majority of society and it’s machine like dictates. And that will include most of the people you come in close contact with.

    The solution to those signs is to be pissed off and actively ignore them by doing what you want. You will piss most people on the beach now that the signs are there. Just fuck them.

  19. To be honest, if you’re a boomer/silent – but especially if you’re a boomer, and a p.c. puss-cake special – I will say shit just to piss you off. I find great relief to watching them get pissed off with no way to extract revenge. When they counter with their standard MSM bullshit…. that’s what really melts my butter.

  20. We must protect our proud butterfly citizens from racial persecution and ourselves from those jetty walking terrorists!

  21. Reminds me of the old commercial where we were to”ask your Dr if it’s safe to have sex”. Fuck that shit(pun intended)! What better way to die than gettin’ a little(hopefully at around 90) and the old ticker gives out. It seems that our young folks are growing up without any valuable life experiences. Everything is virtual this and that. Bullshit! Get out there and skin your knee if you fall, or God forbid, cut your finger while learning to fix something! Oh, I forgot. We don’t fix things anymore, we throw them out and go to Walmart and buy a new piece of Chinese shit to replace the old piece of Chinese shit that failed in about 1/10 the time that a well made piece of equipment or appliance would have lasted. My 3 yr old grandson already has his first 22 rifle. Go fuck yourselves pussies!

  22. Iska,
    Many of my favorite childhood memories were of staying in a little 1 bedroom shack on the beach in North Truro. No AC, no TV, out door cold shower and when there was another family with us we slept outside in a pop up trailer, with mom, dad and two of my three brothers. We never noticed what we were missing since we never had them. In the 60s and 70s you could go out to the dunes on the National Sea Shore and jump off the cliffs. Now that parking lot is chained off and there is a sign forbidding this “dangerous ” activity. P-town never bothered me, I have even brought my kids to the Wednesday drag races when they were younger. Although my wife did yell at three guys on Commercial Street once for checking out my package as she said. I was pushing my daughters carriage, thinking someone must be taping this.

  23. “Meanwhile, the air conditioner in my money pit condo was throwing in the towel after 13 years. What was another $4,400 for a new air conditioner for my underwater investment property?”

    You’re on the Jersey shore at a popular beach resort. What sent it underwater? Section 8 neighbors? Location? Paid too much at the wrong time? Inquiring minds want to know.

    1. SSS

      A friend convinced me to go 50/50 on the condo in 2004. It was against my best judgement, but he was sure it was going to be a great investment because his place in Ocean City had doubled in value. We ended up buying about 12 months from the top of the market. If we had flipped it in 2005, we would have made a profit, but we held on and it is currently worth 25% less than what we bought it for ten years ago.

      We are going to put it up for sale in the Fall and cut our losses. Worst investment of my life.

  24. Admin

    Thanks. I’ve had one or two bad investments myself. Best response. “Whoa, I’ll never do that again.” And then you move on saying, “That one’s on me.” No excuses. Just move on.

  25. You can kill yourself in numerous ways in NZ if you are not careful. My wife and I drove on a crazy road last week between Upper Hutt and Waikanae that was full of blind hairpin turns around cliffs on one side and sheer drop offs on the other over one lane bridges and where the road was one lane or one and a half lanes half the time. Some scary shit but we made it because we watched out for ourselves (and the few on coming cars)! I will take the other safe road next time (the one that is actually one of the highest accident roads in NZ, I kid you not)!

    I ride my bike on a route every week that if I am not careful to go slow enough I will go flying off the side of a mountain in many places for 100+ foot drops.

    In NZ the govt encourages you to get out doors and enjoy stuff, to use reasonable care of course but if you kill yourself (as opposed to killing others with your carelessness which is another story), tough shit.

  26. While I’m on a roll, one of my fellow mexicans was asked to write a sentence using the words ‘leaf’ and ‘cheese’, and here’s what he came up with:

    “Leaf her alone meester, cheese my seester”.

    Much of gravitas everyone. Have a wonderful night.

  27. Ok, ok, one more. Did you hear about the head on collision at la mercado? It was very sad, 36 of my fellow mexicans died.


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