After troops from his country forcibly seized Crimea earlier this year, Russian president Vladimir Putin is back in the news for allegedly arming separatists in eastern Ukraine with the missiles that are believed to have taken down Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 last week. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about Russia’s leader:
- Height: 5’7”
- Statue Height: 6’2”
- Hobbies: Collecting sovereign territories
- Interests: Dioxin, polonium 210, thallium
- Predecessor: Vladimir Putin
- Successor: Vladimir Putin
- Membership In KGB: Active
- Occupation: First and foremost, a dad to two pretty amazing kids
- Stare: Pitiless
- Number Of Times A Day Utters Words “With My Bare Hands”: 28
- Pets: 1.3 million Chechens, black lab
- Nervous Habit: Bending lead pipes
- Sleep: Untroubled
- Number Of Steps Currently Ahead: Two
- Preferred Solution To Civil Unrest: Permanent
Via The Onion
More Putin-bashing behind the guise of humor. Meh.
I hate the Onion.
Maybe I’m too old to appreciate such horse-pucky..
MA
After all, Putin is merely a schizoid bully with decades of experience of forcing others to his will, killing personally (or passively) those who disagree with him and he has a thoroughly psychotic world view where he is born and bred for two things: 1. To protect Mother Russia at literally any cost in money and lives and 2. As part of (1), to rebuild a buffer zone between Mother Russia and everyone else by having a ring of Russian controlled countries surround Russia itself.
We in the US are now fretting and whining about Central American women and children over running our Southern borders (which we could stop – if Obongo wanted to) in a week or so. Yet we do not appreciate the geographical wonders of the Atlantic and Pacific oceans which have protected the USA for hundreds of years until technology laid us vulnerable to ICBM and bureaucratic bungling gave us the TSA and the myriads of other ineffective and backwards agencies and protocols to insure things will get worse.
MA
“1. To protect Mother Russia at literally any cost in money and lives” ——– MA
That’s his job, because he is, after all … wait for it …. President of RUSSIA.
“2. As part of (1), to rebuild a buffer zone between Mother Russia and everyone else by having a ring of Russian controlled countries surround Russia itself. ” ———- MA
That’s his job, because he is, after all … wait for it …. President of RUSSIA.
You might also want to get a map to see which country (hint: it has the letters “U” and “S” and “A”) has encircled Russia with nukes.
As far as Putin being a “schizoid bully” or “psychotic world view” you have scant evidence of that. On the other hand, he IS a politician and those are the traits of such people, worldwide.
Muckabout seems unaware of what’s going on around him.
Obama signed the NDAA a few years ago that allows him BY LAW ON HIS SAY SO, where any American, anywhere in the world can either be killed outright, or arrested with NO charges, no lawyer, no defense,,,, you would disappear in the middle of the night and no one would know where you were and no one is accountable and you could be gone forever.
That’s Fascism that Putin could only dream of.
When I saw the title to this post I figured it was going into T4C’s spank bank!
Putin is a ruthless amoral communist son of a bitch who has balls. Obama on the otherhand is a ruthless amoral communist son of a bitch PUSSY.
America’s like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked.
A thousand years of Russian history in two short sentences.
“We Russians will never accept foreign tyrants. Viva la homegrown tyrants.”
T4C,
Good stuff and say Hello to Putsy for me.
The Onion is scared of the USA government. It never really makes fun of Obomber.
I Support