Because I am not a prick I never wrote a reference letter like that. However, there was many a time when the above letter was much kinder than what I was thinking at the time.
Stucky
August 26, 2014 10:12 am
Ryan should be a DICK …. but, he’s so terrible he can only rise up to a CUNT.
Talk about failing in life!
Stucky
August 26, 2014 11:18 am
Ryan got a hold of that reference letter. Him, a cunt??? He just couldn’t believe it. So, he sent some DNA to a lab for testing.
That was a bad move.
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Persnickety
August 26, 2014 12:19 pm
My prior small business had three employees worthy of basically that same reference letter. Guess which generation they were from?
TE
August 26, 2014 1:10 pm
And this is the EXACT reason why I told all my applicants/clients that they HAD to call and speak to their references, and get the reference letter in their hands before sending it to a potential employer.
Out of the hundreds of people I interviewed and polished, the vast majority had not a clue about what their references were telling people.
I’m going to assume a couple things about this letter. The first is that it is NOT an American company, the liberal use of “cunt” leads me to believe it’s British. The second is that there is a pervasive myth that surrounds giving references in this country. A myth that the mega-corps are happy to perpetuate.
The myth of it being “illegal” to give a bad reference, even if deserved.
In Michigan, and this probably varies by state, there is legal precedent that giving a bad reference is ok, as long as the information can be validated through the former employee’s legal employee records.
Which, for the obtuse, means that if you have a crap employee, you need to DOCUMENT it. Each and every f*up and infraction along the way.
BUT, most pussy HR departments, fall back on “we only verify dates, titles and salary.”
Sounds like Ryan is living up to expectations. Just what would we expect to happen in a “trophy for showing up” world?
Llpoh
August 26, 2014 1:48 pm
I had an employee quit, and asked for a reference, which I typed and handed to him. He then told me that he intended to sue me for for some kind of discrimination or other.
Quick as a flash – I have always had very fast hands – I reached across the desk and snatched back the reference. , tore it up, and put it in the waste basket.
“You cannot do that” he squealled. ” I just did”, said I. He started crying and blubbering as I told him to get the fuck off my property.
My second in command watched all of this with his mouth hanging open.
No way in hell I was letting that asshole leave with a reference.
Never heard from him again. Guess he found his suit was without merit.
I did get a reference check, where I repeated the story. Always wondered if he got that job. Not.
ZombieDawg
August 27, 2014 6:52 am
Actually Ashmore is in Queensland, Australia…
As for the authenticity, that’s another matter !
I’d say it’s fake as there’s so many similar ones floating about the web.
Then again it’s the sort of pull-no-punches call a cunt a cunt style we aussies use and love…
Political correctness ? Wassat ?
TerdFerg
August 27, 2014 6:54 am
In a similar vein:
Re: Letter Of Reference
To: John Doe
To Whom It May Concern:
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity, in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Received a short time later:
July 2, 2001
Re: Letter Of Reference
To: John Doe
Mr. Doe:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the letter I sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only every other line.
where’s the Onion??????????????John
Because I am not a prick I never wrote a reference letter like that. However, there was many a time when the above letter was much kinder than what I was thinking at the time.
Ryan should be a DICK …. but, he’s so terrible he can only rise up to a CUNT.
Talk about failing in life!
Ryan got a hold of that reference letter. Him, a cunt??? He just couldn’t believe it. So, he sent some DNA to a lab for testing.
That was a bad move.
[/img]
[img
My prior small business had three employees worthy of basically that same reference letter. Guess which generation they were from?
And this is the EXACT reason why I told all my applicants/clients that they HAD to call and speak to their references, and get the reference letter in their hands before sending it to a potential employer.
Out of the hundreds of people I interviewed and polished, the vast majority had not a clue about what their references were telling people.
I’m going to assume a couple things about this letter. The first is that it is NOT an American company, the liberal use of “cunt” leads me to believe it’s British. The second is that there is a pervasive myth that surrounds giving references in this country. A myth that the mega-corps are happy to perpetuate.
The myth of it being “illegal” to give a bad reference, even if deserved.
In Michigan, and this probably varies by state, there is legal precedent that giving a bad reference is ok, as long as the information can be validated through the former employee’s legal employee records.
Which, for the obtuse, means that if you have a crap employee, you need to DOCUMENT it. Each and every f*up and infraction along the way.
BUT, most pussy HR departments, fall back on “we only verify dates, titles and salary.”
Sounds like Ryan is living up to expectations. Just what would we expect to happen in a “trophy for showing up” world?
I had an employee quit, and asked for a reference, which I typed and handed to him. He then told me that he intended to sue me for for some kind of discrimination or other.
Quick as a flash – I have always had very fast hands – I reached across the desk and snatched back the reference. , tore it up, and put it in the waste basket.
“You cannot do that” he squealled. ” I just did”, said I. He started crying and blubbering as I told him to get the fuck off my property.
My second in command watched all of this with his mouth hanging open.
No way in hell I was letting that asshole leave with a reference.
Never heard from him again. Guess he found his suit was without merit.
I did get a reference check, where I repeated the story. Always wondered if he got that job. Not.
Actually Ashmore is in Queensland, Australia…
As for the authenticity, that’s another matter !
I’d say it’s fake as there’s so many similar ones floating about the web.
Then again it’s the sort of pull-no-punches call a cunt a cunt style we aussies use and love…
Political correctness ? Wassat ?
In a similar vein:
Re: Letter Of Reference
To: John Doe
To Whom It May Concern:
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity, in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Received a short time later:
July 2, 2001
Re: Letter Of Reference
To: John Doe
Mr. Doe:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the letter I sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only every other line.