Jeebus Here … Ask Me ANY Question

Mr. Jim, my beloved servant, a man after my own heart, is spreading the Good News to the ends of the earth, to the heathens in Shamrock.

In his absence, I have decided to humble myself, and make myself available to you puny specks of dust.

You may aks me any question you’d like, and I will answer it … if I can, because that “All Knowing” stuff is mostly a crock of Satan poo. Nevertheless, I do possess tremendous Wisdom.

And for my sake don’t waste your ONE question aksin’ if you’re going to heaven. The following people and animal are going to hell;

—- Nonanonymous

—- Billy

—- bb

—- little bb

—- Llpoh and SSS have one foot in hell, but I haven’t made up my mind yet.

The rest of you are in and will behold my glory.

So …. what do you want to know?

 

P.S.;  This is NOT a hoax.  I AM the one you seek. Aks wisely.

Come, TBPers, come.

Author: Stucky

I'm right, you're wrong. Deal with it.

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Das Arschloch2
Das Arschloch2

MH17. Who did it? The Ukranians or the Ukranians?

A. R. Wasem
A. R. Wasem

Which came first? And why? BC-LR to all

TE
TE

Wow, questions to Jeebus, where to start?

I’ll just start with the easiest, is your sexy hair still long or have you cut it off in the past 2000 years?

wyomingmike
wyomingmike

Where is the best pizza in Wyoming?

bb

That’s just great . Pick on little bb .What kind of GOD are you that you would wish eternal harm to a defenseless putty kiddy.You would love little bb.He sitting right here right now without a care in the world.

Now will the republicans take control of the Senate in November?

Chen
Chen

What about Stuck, is he going to the poo?

Westcoaster
Westcoaster

What happened to MH370?

Waldo's Mom
Waldo's Mom

Waldo was last seen hanging around you shiftless losers. Where the hell is my boy ? !

SSS

“Llpoh and SSS have one foot in hell, but I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
—-Jeebus

One foot in Hell, eh? Ok, wise guy. What’s my shoe size?

Olga
Olga

Why weren’t you more clear to your followers about NOT building an entire religious hierarchy based on a belief in the golden rule?

Jeebus, Son of God
Jeebus, Son of God

Hell Update: Add wyomingmike and chen to hell’s population. I AM the Lord Thy God, the Creator of the Universe, and you have the gall to ask me about pizza and Stucky’s (PBUH) pooping schedule?? A pox on both of you. You know, when I was a kid, Moishe Langschwantz asked me how long his dick would be when he grew up. He thought that was funny, too, until I turned him into a donkey dick, and a diseased one at that. Think about that as you go to bed tonight.

I want SERIOUS questions only. Further stupid questions will result in the questioner being turned into a vagina. mmmkay?

Right now I’m kind of busy. The Doors of Heaven are being besieged by a great and terrible enemy, the likes of which even I have never seen. No, it is not Satan and his puss-filled demonic army (SSS, bb, Billy, etc). It’s some bunch of rag-heads called ISIS. They are threatening to cut off my pal’s head, John The Baptist. But, I got the last laugh on that one. I told them some Italian dude already cut off John’s head, hahaha, and we haven’t re-attached it yet (don’t worry, John still has eternal life, he just carries his head around on a platter. Heaven is full of cool miracles, and it’s always good for a laugh at my birthday party).

Again, please ask a real question. It’s the only, and last, chance you’ll get in your lifetime. I will answer them shortly. I promise.
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PS, Teresa, my beloved virgin, I am also a Nazarene and we do not cut our hair (look it up). My hair grows about 14.575 inches per year … 15 inches if I get lots of magnesium …. and as you said, I’ve been gone for 2000+ years, so do the math. You should see my shampoo bill, oy veh!

dilligaf
dilligaf

Are the giants in Genesis 6, from the line of Seth, or fallen angels?

BamBam
BamBam

Will poly-titism (3+ boobs) become the norm? Will the extra ones be used as storage pouches?

Jeebus, Son of God
Jeebus, Son of God

BamBam, my beloved servant after my own heart

I told you, I”M BUSY! But, you aksed the best question yet, so I will answer thee.

You are known amongst your peers on Earf as a “titty man”. Well, boy oh boy, do I have Good News for you!

Before I send unbelieving women to hell, I first cut off their titties, and give them to the Glorious Virgins here in heaven. The Mohammedans got it all wrong. They’re not getting 70 virgins, they are getting ONE virgin with 70 tits. Everybody like tits. That’s why I’m called Good and Benevolent.

This is what awaits you in heaven, My Son. (Billy will get a woman with 70 assholes. heh heh)
comment image

SSS, just ONE word about nipples, and your other foot will be in hell.

Anonymous
Anonymous

@stucky

Is Schrödinger’s cat dead or alive? Always wanted to know.

gbyerley
gbyerley

Apologies, Mr. Stucky.

It’s past my nighty-night time. It’s the dull tool, gbyerley here. Senile fool that I am, forgot to post my actual name. Not cowardly “Anonymous” nom de plume. Just an imperfect, very sleepy human being.

Chen
Chen

Why did Billy come to TBP, was there no other place you could send him?

seriously
seriously

so when are you coming to help civilization stop the boskonians?

dilligaf

I guess jeebus got kicked off the site for not knowing how to post a pic.

Zarathustra

Chen says:

Why did Billy come to TBP, was there no other place you could send him?
________________________________

Billy is probably here because he was termed from AOL.

Mia Kaye
Mia Kaye

How can I make my sick friend feel better?

EC
EC

Flowers, Mia

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