FRIDAY FAIL

facepalm,books,computer

sign,whoops,lemons,fruit

facepalm,stairs,disabled

news,creepy,Probably bad News,underwear

The used underwear, which belonged to women in the neighbourhood, had been stolen by a male resident over the course of the year, news website Gxnews.com.cn reported.

The report said the man hid the stolen lingerie above ceiling tiles in a number of stairwells within the residential building where he lived.

pdf,autocomplete,google,Autocomplete Me

creepy,santa,sexy times,sketchy santas

Sad,christmas,candles

christmas,lady bits,whoops,accidental sexy

Awkward,pew,church

christmas,news,drunk,elf on the shelf,Probably bad News

Harden located the car, a gray Toyota van, parked by the store’s loading dock with its engine running, lights on and music blaring, the lieutenant said.

The driver, Brian Chellis, 23, of Cedar Grove, was asleep behind the wheel, wearing an “Elf on the Shelf” costume, Macintosh said.

After shutting off the car’s engine and waking Chellis, the sergeant detected a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath, the lieutenant said.

christmas,bad idea,santa,Cats,fail nation

headline,puns,underwear

A woman was tailgating a car in Northern California this weekend, and she went full speed towards Crazy Town after the passengers made “a rude hand gesture” to her.

The 50-year-old woman, Dierdre Orozco, drove her Ford Explorer in front of the girls to get them to stop. She also pretended to be a police officer, even getting out of her car at one point and approaching them with some sort of ID.

When this strategy failed, she decided to start ramming them off the road.

The crazy woman was eventually arrested when she went off the exit.

ouch,gifs,martial arts,right in the face

monday thru friday,gift card,coworkers,Secret Santa,g rated

news,headline,Probably bad News,monkey

sports,dude parts,accidental sexy,soccer,fail nation

whoops,tired,wrench,fail nation,g rated

whoops,new years,store display

christmas,church signs,sign,satan,santa

Music,gifs,concert,selfie,burn,fail nation

sign,facepalm,stairs,disabled

Awkward,design,bathroom

accident,cars,whoops,parking

christmas,news,decoration,Probably bad News,fail nation

A Pennsylvania man is terrorizing his neighbors with his unusual holiday decorations, which includes a beheaded choir, a hanging Mickey Mouse and a urinating Santa Claus.

“There was a Virgin Mary here, and he placed a knife through her head, right there on the edge of our driveway,” said one woman “I thought it was a terroristic threat.”

The owner of the home, Bill Ansell, leaves the decorations up all year. He once had one of the best decorated homes on the block, but a complaint from one of his neighbors about bright lights turned into an all out war that has gone on for the past 6 years, according to 20/20.

The neighbors say they feel trapped, and despite being fined numerous times, he has yet to clean up his yard.

whoops,TV,accidental creeper

phone,politics,newspaper

bad idea,there I fixed it,airplane

news,poop,drugs,what,Probably bad News,police

It only gets worse from there. From Philly:

A security guard told him to wait on a nearby bench, and Higgs apparently thought it was the perfect chance for a smoke break.

But he wasn’t packing tobacco.

When the officer Higgs so desperately wanted to see came out, he smelled the marijuana immediately and took Higgs into custody.

And then the show began.

Higgs disrobed, while still babbling, and relieved his bowels on the floor of his holding cell, Chitwood said. Then, as if struck by artistic inspiration, Higgs grabbed his own feces and “wiped it all over the walls,” he said.

See more at the Fail Blog

 

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
10 Comments
Juan
Juan
December 26, 2014 4:57 pm

Next year I will opt for the gift card. My secret Santa got me a bean bag toss game. Must be a secret TBPer.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
December 26, 2014 10:28 pm

Hey – I want that pew. None of that gay hand-holding during the Our Father.

EC
EC
December 26, 2014 11:47 pm

And yet you’d hold another guy’s dick.

IndenturedServant
IndenturedServant
December 27, 2014 12:38 am

If that road rage woman would have been hassling me like that I’m afraid I would have called 9-11 then shot her dumb ass fearing for my life.

Regarding Mr. Karate: 1. What exactly was he trying to accomplish? 2. What did he expect would happen in that situation?

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
December 27, 2014 2:33 am

EC, I know I wrote once about holding another guy’s dick. I was kidding. I think. It was like a regular here who once wrote “tastes like chicken”. I’ve never held another guy’s member. At least I don’t remember doing it.

EC
EC
December 27, 2014 2:42 am

You were kidding then and I was kidding above. You made me laugh out loud with that one.

Billy
Billy
December 27, 2014 10:59 am

I thought the handicapped signs on the stairs were pretty good, until I saw the toilet paper waaaaaaay over on the other side of the handicapped stall… they should just write “BECAUSE FUCK YOU, CRIPPLES!!” on the wall over the roll of shit tickets…

“Santa is Satan”?…. heh.. I had to go down to the grocery store to get some 1/2 and 1/2 for our coffee and some coffee cake (since nobody in my jacked up family can be bothered to buy proper fookin’ breakfast for Christmas morning… the losers), and the short rotund woman running the register looked a bit glum… so I tried to brighten her day a bit…. even though I hurt, had a headache and absolutely did not want to be there…

(Me, flashing my best smile) “Hi! Did you have a good Christmas?”

She gives me a sideways look and sniffs in that self-righteous way only douchebags can master:

“I don’t celebrate Christmas…”

Pause…. (to self) “Shit…. it’s one of THEM…”

(Me) “Well, being a godless heathen is your right. I hope you had a nice day anyways…”

She just scowled at me, rang up my shit and I smiled as I paid and left…

—————————————–

Not sure about passive/aggressive guy and the mutilated Christmas decorations… one side of me wants to yell “BLASPHEMY! CALL THE CHURCH ELDERS!!”… the other side of me wants to congratulate him on trolling his snotty complaining neighbors…

Granted, I don’t usually go for the whole Griswold Family Christmas “25,000 lights” thing, but hey, if he can afford the electric bill, then Rock On…

Billy
Billy
December 27, 2014 11:13 am

On a completely unrelated note, I have to share this with y’all…

I’m a big fan of creative cursing. Some folks just have a gift for cursing… sort of like a savant… I can sit in rapture and just listen to some really well done, creative cursing…

The best curse I heard over the Holidays was from an Irishman… he said, in a pissed-off thick Irish brogue:

“Christ on a bike! Peddling to the store, to buy ice creams! Only to find out when he gets home that they’re all expired!!”

Of course, written phonetically, it actually came out: “Christ on a boike! Peddlin’ to tha’ star, ta boi oice creams! Only to foind out when he gets hoome that they’re all expoired!”

Which, to me, only made it that much funnier…

Here it is, 3 days later, and I’m still laughing at that…

Well played, Paddy… 🙂

EC
EC
December 28, 2014 12:05 am

Billy says: On a completely unrelated note, I have to share this with y’all…

Why?

Billy
Billy
December 28, 2014 1:17 am

Billy says: On a completely unrelated note, I have to share this with y’all…

Why? – EC

Because, Feeb… I thought it was fookin’ funny…

Leastways, it’s light-years better than that drivel you post…

That’s why… you may now go back to scrubbing shitters…