Guest Post by Andy Borowitz
Credit Photograph by David Ryder/Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a possible setback for Mitt Romney’s latest Presidential ambitions, a new poll reveals that a majority of Americans now regard the former Massachusetts governor as a stalker.
The poll results suggest that Romney’s presence in every Presidential campaign in recent memory has taken its toll on the American people, who have expressed disbelief that he would return after being repeatedly told in no uncertain terms that he was not wanted.
Additionally, many of those surveyed said that they previously felt harassed by the Massachusetts governor’s relentless e-mails and phone calls, and favored some form of intervention to keep Romney from contacting them in the future.
In an indication of how much Romney’s serial candidacies have traumatized the American people, more than fifty per cent said that they would support a restraining order to keep the former nominee five hundred feet from the United States until the 2016 election had safely passed.
In an interview on Monday, Romney said that the inauspicious poll results would not discourage him from seeking the White House for a third time. “I know that I’m the right man for the American people, and nothing they say or do will stop me,” he said.
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Sadly, I would rather Mitt Romney have his “third times the charm” moment and get elected President instead of a continuation of either the Bush Dynasty or Clinton Dynasty. If the headlines of early political pandering is any indication of who will be running for President in 2016 we are in for the most boring political campaign in history. Is this really the best options the organized parties have to offer the American public for leaders of the country?
Anyone who thinks Romney is a good idea should read Stockman’s “The Great Deformation”…
What difference does it make who gets elected President or for congress. They’re all owned by big banks, big special interests,etc. so the issue is who do we want to elect who will screw middle class taxpayer’s the least? Answer – none of the above since all candidates are owned by big money who screw taxpayers equally.
He looks like the guy who ‘laid you off’.
Got booted off National Review online for using the word “Mittens.”
As far as politicians of the two major parties are concerned, Romney is a pretty decent respectable guy in my opinion. Would like to see a Romney Rand Paul ticket.
As to Stephanie’s comments about Romney over Bush or Clinton. Absolutely agree, don’t have to thing more than a fraction of a second about it.
This country is too far gone for it to matter who assumes the throne. Either the right thing is done, in which case this farcical financialized economy comes crashing down, or they continue doing more of the same, in which case the dollar becomes toilet paper.
STEVE , HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS.PLS TELL US LOW IQ VOTERS.U MUST BE THE GOD OF ALL KNOW.RIGHT?BBBB
STEVE , U NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT DAMN BB.
Anon, are you new here?
One scenario has interest rates rising significantly. Think Volcker type rates. But let’s assume that they only go to 10%. The debt costs on a funded debt of $18 trillion is $1.8 trillion, which would represent 60% of all revenue collected (assuming revenue remains stable). By the time they do this, however, the debt will easily be north of $20 trillion and the economy will have tanked, meaning the revenue would plummet. And forget about the unfunded liabilities…
In other words, the unpayable debt cannot be financed. The government defaults. Credit default swaps render the banks insolvent. There is no money to bail them out. Depositors take a major haircut. Unemployment skyrockets. EBT cards stop working. The FSA goes berserk. Capital controls are imposed. Bank holidays are announced. Martial law is practically guaranteed under this scenario.
The alternative: the Fed prints the dollar with reckless abandon. Confidence in the currency evaporates. The middle class disappears. Commerce grinds to a halt. Black markets reign. Barter becomes rampant as desperate people trade their property to stay alive. It won’t be Mad Max, but it’ll be close enough.
I don’t see any soft landing in our future. There are no rabbits left in the hat. It’s going to get ugly.
Got gold.?
I have it on good authority that Romney is a Mormon.
hello everybody.
my name mary jones and i live in uk. and at the age of 18 i was in a relationship
and i fell in love with this guy called douglas though he was handsome but he had a very bad charater.which was cheating on me and he found pesure in it all. because of i never wanted to breake up with him.
but before i knew he was cheating with my friends and some other ladies in neigbourhood and to the extend i cauth him cheating with my house help.
the worst part of it all was that i kept quiet for a verry long time.
and last two years when i was 29 years old my sister came to spend her holiday in my place and he was makeing passes at her.
so i booke up with him and moved on with another guy and when he found out about my relationship with another guy.
he started stalking me. untill a friend of mine told about stopstalkers.
and i never belived her and i said to my self just try and see it migth work. and in just three days.
he help me in stoping my ex_boyfriend and i was so very happy.
so if you are passing through something like this/
you can do yourself alot of good by contacting him on the email address bellow
[email protected]