5 Keys to a Self-Efficient Life

Guest Post by Hardscrabble Farmer

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

FRANK OUTLAW
Late President of the Bi-Lo Stores

Every Summer we are approached by the sons of neighbors, or their mothers, asking if we have work on the farm. For some it is curiosity, for others a desire to earn a few dollars doing something other than sitting around playing video games. Sometimes they work out, others times they don’t, but we almost always give them a shot if we are asked and in some cases it becomes an annual ritual that ends when they go off to college.As a practice I send the off to the chicken coop with a pitchfork and a wheelbarrow and after a brief period of instruction leave them to clean it out. If they return the next day we’ve got a keeper and we move on to other tasks, if not we save each other a lot of time and frustration. I ran into one of them recently, a young man now, who once drove hundreds of cedar fence posts with a sledge hammer for us the first year we began our life in this place and he lit up with a huge smile when he saw me and rushed over to shake my hand.

He had just graduated from college and was back home to watch his younger sister graduate from high school with the same class as our son. He said that he had been meaning to stop up and visit and that he had wanted to tell us that the day he spent on our farm were some of the best days of his life, that he finally understood how important the time he had spent with us had been for him and how he would always think fondly of the hours he spent working on our farm. I don’t know if someone could have given me a better compliment and I was proud to know that whatever he did in his life he would have the memory of having done a good job for someone who appreciated his efforts.

Over the course of my lifetime several truths have revealed themselves to me not through intentional seeking, but rather by the constant and repeated proofs of their validity. Certain behaviors net specific results, again and again without fail. Some of these outcomes are negative, others clearly on the positive side and it always the underlying purpose of the initial actions that guarantee the desired- or undesired- resolution. Living a self sufficient life- as far as that is possible in this day and age- requires the maximization of every hour spent, every calorie expended, every dollar invested. You learn to make do, repair and re-purpose, save and store up, do with what you have or do without. While there is often time to enjoy the beauty around you and to suck in all the sights and sounds and smells of life itself, it is often done with a tool in hand.

The other morning I was explaining a chore done poorly by one of these teenage charges in a way I hoped he would understand, demonstrating that what he had failed to do was not the result of failing to do something expected, but rather to do it correctly. He smiled an nodded his head and I asked him to repeat what I had said and he did and the next day when I passed by I saw that he had done what I asked perfectly and has every day since. The chore will likely fade as a memory for him by the time Fall arrives, but the underlying lesson of doing something right will likely last a lifetime. As I sat in bed the other night drifting off to sleep I thought about these lessons, most of which I have learned through trial and error and decided to write them down.

These are the five keys to a self efficient life.

1) Whatever you do, do it well. All of us face tasks that we would rather not do; laundry, cleaning the toilet, making the bed. Unless you are an invalid or so fabulously wealthy that you maintain a staff to manage your household, you will inevitably be faced with doing some chore so painfully odious or repetitious that you would rather not, yet the job is yours to do. Do it as if it were of importance, whatever that job may be. The result will never disappoint, the difference between well done and mailed in will become apparent and it will humble you to a degree that builds a certain character. In our home i am known to G.I. a bathroom as well as any staff at a five star hotel, not because I dream of becoming a manservant, but because my family, my guests and myself will be the beneficiary of my efforts. A clean refrigerator or a well made bed are signs of a well run life beyond the sanitary concern. Putting in effort and paying attention to the details of whatever it is that you are doing no matter how small or insignificant leads to doing the same with the bigger plans in life. A well kept home is a reflection of the person who lives in it and it is a statement about your approach to the world.

2) Make every trip count. This is one I learned later in life but which has saved me countless hours of precious time. If I am heading out to do a specific chore, I never return empty handed. That is a wasted trip. Every movement you make should be purposeful, every mission an opportunity to do something you’d have to do later. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone heard someone comment about how they forgot to pick something up while they were out to the store, but that it was alright because they had to go back out for something else later. Why not combine the trips and do it once? The savings in time and energy are enormous when you begin to get in the habit of piggybacking responsibilities. Make lists before you go somewhere that allows you to double or triple your initial efforts and you will see a rapid growth in your efficiency. Soon it will become a second nature to notice other opportunities to complete some side task while in the midst of doing another and your hours will multiply.

3) Persistence rewards. More people give up on things than become successful at them. There are always reasons why people quit or fold or give up, but most of them reflect the failure of discipline more than ability. When we began to farm we knew virtually nothing about it beyond basic gardening skills, but we had desire and a determination to learn. We had multiple failures in every aspect of what we did, from where we located gates and fence lines, to how we cleared the forest and bred our livestock, but we paid equal attention to what what went wrong as to what went right and we built on as many losses as we did on gains. Each misstep was an opportunity and as time went by we developed a sort of psychic scar tissue that allowed us to weather the failed attempts and poor results and use them as learning tools to do things the right way.

4) Quid pro quo. Do unto others because others will do unto you. I give my help freely and I have been rewarded tenfold over the years because of it. A lot of people will dodge doing something for nothing, but like the concept of the honor box sometimes the rewards are greater than the costs associated with the initial act. This is not to say that you should take advantage of others or become manipulative in your motivations, but it is an acknowledgement of the laws of physics as well as the indisputable nature of karma. No good act goes unrewarded.

5) Time is all you have, spend it wisely. Every hour of every day we make the kinds of decisions that often seem inconsequential, meaningless. In totality they all add up. The hours spent staring at a glowing screen as opposed to fixing something broken, reading a book, learning a new skill are hours that cannot be replaced. Motivating yourself to do rather than passively be adds skill sets that can be capitalized upon in life as long as you live. As the folks over at ZeroHedge so wisely counsel, “On a long enough timeline, the survival rate is zero.” I have no idea what comes after this life, but I do know that it is the only one we have and that we should treasure every moment of it for what it presents, opportunity to make our lives fuller, richer, more rewarding.

I do not have a perfect life, but I have a life that is full and satisfying even when things are difficult and trying because I have determined to make each day count and it is because I have learned to live by these basic premises. I have made my bed and I lay on it, and when I close my eyes to sleep I am satisfied by these efforts no matter how insignificant they may be seem.

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27 Comments
Pirate Jo
Pirate Jo
July 22, 2015 9:15 am

What you need is “fuck you money.”

Welshman
Welshman
July 22, 2015 9:21 am

Yep, the chicken coopi s the right starter job for a newby.

Francis Marion
Francis Marion
July 22, 2015 9:22 am

@ Hardscrabble,

Sage words brother. One of your best articles yet.

My son and I talk about karma frequently – or at least the concept of it. Doing a good job no matter what the task, using consideration in your dealings with others and doing things simply for the sake of doing them are not just things we do but things that should bring us happiness and joy. It would be a better world if we all lived by these 5 rules.

Fran

Montefrío
Montefrío
July 22, 2015 10:57 am

HSF

Excellent writing again, chock full of useful ideas. The metaphysics of Zen may not be of interest to you, then again they might, but you are leading a Zen life whether you know it or not, and it matters not at all if you know it or not: It’s YOUR life.

Time for me to go pick the last of the tomatoes, still fruiting in the month that up there would be February! Granted, I have them in a greenhouse, but even so… Canning coming up this weekend!

Montefrío
Montefrío
July 22, 2015 10:58 am

Did I write “February”? Try “January”. Sheesh! More coffee!

Maggie
Maggie
July 22, 2015 11:25 am

HSF,

Another excellent article to think about as I make sure my newly placed sod is given enough water to root in the hot days ahead.

Maggie
Maggie
July 22, 2015 11:26 am

And, again, here is the reply for any wishing to join.

comment image

Bostonbob
Bostonbob
July 22, 2015 11:56 am

HSF,
One of your best articles ever, and that’s comparing it the many outstanding articles you have published. Cleaning out the chicken coop is a good one. I have said this story before. My wife called hollering at me, she had had a fight with my son about getting a summer job between 11th and 12th grade. Basically he wanted to stay home and play video games all summer. This was a non starter for the boss of our home. I proceeded to drag him to all of our construction sites and the main office where everyone was still working at 7:00 pm. We got home at 10:30 and I told him that he was to be up and ready to leave the house at 5:45 and he was going to work, even if it was in his pajamas. Next morning he dragged himself out of bed and I promptly dropped him off on one of the job sites. His first job was to break off the snap ties in each of the buildings, then sweep them top to bottom. There were many multi unit buildings.For those of you who do not know what a snap tie is, it is the metal tie used between the forms that are used to form the concrete basement walls. There is a breaking tool but my son did not have the strength to use it, so he had to use a two pound hammer to bend each of these thousands ties back and forth until they snapped off. He did this for days working to exhaustion to his credit. At the end of the first day he said he couldn’t feel his arms, I said that was good. The super moved him on to other tasks later. He still keeps a couple of the ties on his desk 7 summers later. I say it was a lesson well learned. I sent you article both my kids.
Thank you,
Bob.

starfcker
starfcker
July 22, 2015 12:11 pm

HSF, salute, as usual. Bob, great story. My first construction job was very similar, guy didn’t want to hire me at 17, too slight. I kept bugging him, he finally said ok. My first task was to take bales of 3/4 inch plywood, walk them over to the building, and set them up on saw horses so they could pull them up to the second floor deck.

starfcker
starfcker
July 22, 2015 12:15 pm

After about the first 20, I was dragging them. I finished, though, about 2:00. The guy was amazed, let me go home, paid me for 8. Next day he started treating me like a human. I learned a big lesson, impress

dc.sunsets
dc.sunsets
July 22, 2015 2:59 pm

Time is the one thing we can’t get more of.

How we spend our time is the central question of our lives.

Chicago999444
Chicago999444
July 22, 2015 3:48 pm

Every article HS Farmer posts is great, but this is one of the finest. This advice is applicable for anyone, living anywhere, in any walk of life.

Thanks for the great article.

Beano
Beano
July 22, 2015 4:39 pm

Good tips! Workable with tangible benefits. Boils down to showing concern for others as you do for yourself.

Maggie
Maggie
July 23, 2015 1:29 am

Another good day here on our place putting trees and bushes into our newly landscaped yard. Watering them is very Zenlike and made me realize I need to execute more self-control when confronting annoying trolls.

I will cease my toad photos and resume the complete and total ignore of the toads.

Homer Simpson
Homer Simpson
July 23, 2015 1:32 am

“If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers…”

IndenturedServant
IndenturedServant
July 23, 2015 7:45 am

Thanks HSF. Your advice echoes that of my father and has paid untold dividends right up to this day.

I had a job once cleaning a butcher shop. It was offered to me once but I turned it down because I really disliked the smell of the place. I ended up getting to know the guy who took the job. He didn’t mind the job but was PCS’ing back to the States and had to give it up. The British guy who had the contract was in a bind so I agreed to help out until he found someone to do it.

That was when I came to hate the job. The smell fades after you’re in there for 5-10 minutes but the little chunks of meat that get stuck in your hair, ears, nose and just about everywhere else really sucked. The boss hired two guys pretty quick and I trained them even quicker but the day I was due to step out, they decided they disliked the job more than I did so I was sort of stuck with it.

Truth was that I could do the job better, quicker and easier by myself. The boss was in a bind again but made me an offer I could not refuse. The job paid in British Pounds and the contract specified three guys each day (7days/week) for three hours each. That came out to nine man hours per day and it paid 12 Pounds per hour. The dollar/pound exchange rate was as high as one Pound=$2.65 which translated to nearly $300 day! There were about six days each month when they never even cut meat so I was paid to play poker with the butchers. I even made $$ by trading currency on the black market to avoid the bank exchange rate and I paid no Federal tax as part of the SOFA agreement. To top it off, it didn’t even interfere with my one man, low overhead contracting business I worked as a regular job. It was even in the same building!

So just by sucking it up and doing a good job at something I hated, I fell into an opportunity to really clean up! Dad never steered me wrong!

Minnies would do well to heed HSF’s advice. A real go getter can create opportunities for themselves doing shit jobs that no one else wants.

Bostonbob
Bostonbob
July 23, 2015 8:25 am

IS,
I totally agree with the sucking it up and going to work. After I was laid off with the entire purchasing department of the company I worked for I went back to work in construction. I was offered to load the roof of the buildings we framed with shingles at a dollar a bundle. Four stories at about 90 lbs a bundle back in 1988 I could carry about 100 to 150 bundles after a day of framing. I was paid cash and I considered it a free work out, no need to go to the gym. The job may suck but someone has to do it, it might as well be me.
Bob.

starfcker
starfcker
July 23, 2015 8:29 am

Damn, bob. That’s impressive

Maggie
Maggie
July 23, 2015 12:45 pm

Hardscrabble Farmer,
FYI, I have shared your article on my FB community page, but have used your own site “Hardscrabble Farmer” as a citation/direction. I don’t think that the 500 or so of my community of “friends” who look at the old photos of friends scanned from local school yearbooks, various reunions I attend and photograph, and geographic site photos showing the area then and now that I share on my page would be very well received on TBP. Since I fear they would think jumping here would land them in an agrarian-minded crowd much like the group of long-lived farmers from which most of them came, I chose to NOT give the piranhas a feast of local yokel and send them to your actual page to read a few of your lovely articles there.

No offense Admin… your site is probably a valuable place for skin toughening for people such as myself, but not for anyone expecting Walton’s Mountain..

rob in Nova Scotia
rob in Nova Scotia
July 23, 2015 1:23 pm

Kind of off topic but I thought it was funny. I suppose one of keys of self sufficient life is that when you have lemons you should try and make lemonade.

I’m heading to Newfoundland for vacation next week hope weather is better but if it isn’t it won’t matter because the people there will more than make up for any dreary day. We all could learn lots from Newfoundlanders about not taking things too seriously….

rt

Muck About
Muck About
July 23, 2015 2:48 pm

HSF: Please save your posts that are on your website (and here – Admin is really good at sifting wheat from chaff!) and consider – when you have collected what you consider to be a sufficient number – publish them as an e-book under “Hardscrabble”s” name. A life’s how-to. A life well lived. A life being well lived.

There are so many poor souls out there that have no clue what application of your wisdom – and excellent clear writing ability by the way – could do for them if they’d just apply it.

I am a victim of too old to soon, to smart too late – having only a limited time to accomplish bits and pieces of what I am urging you to do. Your life experiences and ways of explaining them, your wisdom and humor are too precious to waste on merely a blog (though a find blog it is!)

Please, please, consider it..

Muck

Anonymous
Anonymous
July 23, 2015 8:07 pm

This is as usual an intelligent essay full of wisdom but..with all due respect, Frank Outlaw is not the author of that quote….Lao Tzu is.

Maggie
Maggie
July 23, 2015 9:27 pm

he Dhammapada is the best-known book in the Pali Buddhist canon. It contains a collection of Buddhist teachings in the form of aphorisms, and it was probably compiled in the third century B.C.E. The text below is from a translation by Thomas Byrom: 17

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with an impure mind
And trouble will follow you
As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of a closely matching expression located by QI was published in a Texas newspaper feature called “What They’re Saying” in May 1977. The saying was ascribed to the creator of a successful U.S. supermarket chain called Bi-Lo: 1

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

FRANK OUTLAW
Late President of the Bi-Lo Stores

Dear Quote Investigator: What do the following people have in common: Transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson, Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, supermarket magnate Frank Outlaw, spiritual teacher Gautama Buddha, and the father of Margaret Thatcher? Each one of these individuals has been credited with versions of the following quote:

Watch Your Thoughts, They Become Words; Watch Your Words, They Become Actions

Maggie
Maggie
July 23, 2015 9:29 pm

“The kernel, the soul — let us go further and say the substance, the bulk, the actual and valuable material of all human utterances — is plagiarism.” Mark Twain

All good ideas are out there for us to grasp and record in our own words.

TE
TE
July 24, 2015 4:14 pm

HSF, read and re-read this the other day, when I logged into my laptop today, I just had to stop by and thank you.

My father has many demons, and passed many on to us kids, but two of the absolute best things he gave us five siblings were the need/desire to do a good/right job the first time (or learn your damned lesson!) AND the work ethic to believe (with our very souls), that when you agree to go to work for someone, you have agreed to do all aspects of the job – whether you “like” it or not.

I’ve experienced hard times in my life, in today’s reality, incredibly hard (but nothing on what my grandparents went through during the Depression), but those two inherited traits have never failed me.

Dropping out of high school, marrying an abuser and having a child at 15 was no walk in the park.

The MINUTE my husband made more than $125 a week (gross) there was NO help from the government and our family went from subsisting on welfare, to truly subsisting as a newly minted family in the working poor.

I babysat others children, cleaned houses with my baby in tow (including walking the two miles to one house), begged the local businesses – when they were NOT hiring – to give me a chance and a job, any job.

Under the table (illegal to work but shockingly my son still needed to eat), scrubbing toilets, bailing hay, painting barns, de-tasseling corn, weeding gardens, harvesting them too, (in exchange for produce). I’m little so many of my bosses would stick me in small spaces that other “regular” employes wouldn’t fit.

Yep, on Friday nights on the weeks we were lucky enough to afford bad (really, really, bad) beer, I’d lament about the 400 pound office-bitch that both smelled and crapped all over the toilet, walls and floors, but I would still go back, with a smile in my heart and a bucket to puke into.

I passed this on to my son and for the most part it has served him well.

Again, your tales make me melancholy. They always remind me that the bulk of our population not only don’t agree with your opinions/views, but “work” to regulate/law reality out of existence AND they are (currently) being bonused and bribed to NEVER see their lives in this way.

I’m typing this with tears in my eyes, the eyes are sitting here viewing the dozens and dozens of things that 11 years in the house still haven’t moved to the top of our priority list AND the destroyed/shoddy kitchen that he decided to “start” fixing walls and painting while I was out of town.

My current home looks like the owners don’t give a flying flip about their belongings. Sadly, only one of us is that way and he controls the cash.

I long to feel PRIDE again. I long to feel like the things I’ve accomplished mean something. I long to be proud of where I live and where I work.

For now that comes from the job of raising my daughter. Soon, closer everyday, that is going to change.

Thanks again.

Maggie
Maggie
July 24, 2015 6:25 pm

@TE… wishing you well, my friend.

flash
flash
July 25, 2015 6:29 am

HSF -stop da’ hatin’..

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