WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

950

Well I don’t need a machine to know my blood pressure is boiling.

946

OHHHH GOD!!!!! It burns just looking at it. I’m gonna go sit in a tub of aloe right now.

947

Walmart titties…They’re like everything else you get at Walmart. Close to the real deal, but always kinda worse.

944

I’d say I’m surprised but I’m fairly confident that by law that hat and fanny pack come with the purchase of the “crazy cat lady” t-shirt.

945

Looks like the Warriors finally came out to play.

948

Just a big ol’ pile of horse dookie in the middle of Walmart. Nice going Iowa, you were doing a great job of flying under the radar but you just had to go on and screw up. Looking like a bunch of horses asses now huh? Figuratively and literally.

949

Bro. Just no. Just absolutely no. Maybe, just maybe if you were hung like a moose you could pull off that leopard print leotard (or the rest of that outfit) but accentuating your baby dick is not helping.

951

Are those heel-less heels? Is that even a thing? Can that even be a thing? Are you trying to train yourself to dunk or something? Why are they red and gold? Did Ronald McDonald make them? So many questions I need to know right now.

939

It looks like someone threw a mouse at you so hard that it just stuck to the back of your head. Who would have thought one person would ever get to say that to another?

943

I know it’s every girl’s dream to walk down the aisle…at Walmart…next to a guy in cargo shorts.

942

I tend to try and look at things on the positive side. For instance, this would look hella intimidating if it were peeking out from a Gladiator Helmet.

940

Ah yes, the alcoholic bat/troll/fairy/jester I’ve heard so much about…and by “heard so much about” I clearly mean I’ve probably seen you on WTFtattoos.com.

938

F*cking Big Indian? The hell does that even mean? Are there really that many large Indians out there that warrants t-shirt production? Do you get badges too?

935

I get that a writer’s job is to tell the story and they have word counts to hit but I really think the author of this article could have just summed it all up by saying “piece of shit mother arrested for doing piece of shit mother things”. Read the article of this mother using her kids to steal from Walmart here »

936

Good call Fox, this is the appropriate reaction to that headline. Well done.

937

This bro is putting off some serious vibes. It’s like he is directing an outdoor porno movie.

931

Okay, I’m a little torn on this one. On one side I think it’s awesome you’re buddy or whoever is taking you on one last ride. On the other side I’m a little creeped out there is a dead body right there and with one bad turn you can make the evening news.

932

Where is the line that separates “sagging” and “pants fell off”? Personally, if there is a slight chance I can see your balls from behind I think we’ve hit the latter stage.

933

Maybe they are turning Raggedy Ann into a horror film?

934

In America we like to showcase our shit-kickers so everyone can see us stomp you out.

See More Freaks at People of Wal-Mart

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IndenturedServant

Sixth picture down I figured that some butt pirate with a loose pooper walked through there while going kommando in a miniskirt but then I read the text and it sounded plausible.

Lysander
Lysander

The tattoo craze really gets me. How low is your self esteem, notion of self worth and identity? For the observer of your tattoos it’s very easy to evaluate. The more tats, the more fucked up in the head you are.

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