WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

1007

Has anyone in the history of the world gotten laid from a number found in a bathroom stall? I honestly couldn’t even imagine the amount of penicillin it would take for me to even want to have sex with someone that has their number up in a public dumper!

1008

How are pants with booty writing still a thing? This is probably the first time in my life I wish I was illiterate.

1005

Who would have thought we would be able to see boobies and pussy just by looking at your back. Almost seems like you’re an answer to a riddle.

1006

Did 50 Cent and crew put out an ad for a new squad member that must look like a college professor?

1002

Deviled Egg….Ha. You’re already giving me heartburn girl.

1003

I’m not sure if you crazy kids are getting ready for some kooky 5k run or a rave. I don’t know. Frankly I don’t care. What I do know is you look like a bunch of sluts and in my younger years I would support that. However as I get older that ideology changes. It pains me to say this but you should probably not look so skanky in public.

1001

Nope, nothing to see here. These wings are mine and they’re for flying. Definitely not stealing them at all.

999

Way to go Keith! Way to suck at life person who decorates cakes at Walmart that clearly never passed the “stay within the lines” test at Elementary school. On a side note, I wonder if that turns your poo green like the Halloween Whopper?

998

Our friends over at WhiteTrashRepairs.com have to tip their trucker cap to this lawnmower turned golf cart.

1000

Stalker Level: Expert.

997

You’re still a little early for Halloween there Rapunzel. Although I feel like you’re dressed up like that to catch me off guard when you’re real plan is to serve me as you break into some hip hop dance. I don’t know why, you just give off that vibe as a sneak-server and I don’t like it.

993

Looks like you’re trying to hide some contraband up there missy. I’m gonna need you to relax, take a few deep breaths, squat down and cough 3 times.

995

For those times when the jars break but those green gloves turn you on.

996

In case the house arrest bracelet wasn’t enough for us to know that you were a “Gutta Bitch”, thanks for spelling it out for us. Sadly that kid is so far behind the 8-ball he’s on an entirely different table.

994

I can see the allure of not wearing pants as you scooter on through Wally World. Let people know you’re an O.G. while at the same time getting a nice breeze through your nether regions.

991

Listen bud, I’m not a chick so perhaps I’m not the best person to be giving you tips, but I have to say lime green doesn’t even look good on actual limes.

992

At first I was ready for you to hook me up with a coconut rum drink and start fire-dancing or something cool like that but I don’t see the beach and those boots don’t look very tropical either. So now I’ve got no excuses for you; you’re on your own now.

989

Honestly, it’s just a matter of time before there is a warning sign in the produce section that has a silhouette of a kid with a bag on their head and a big red circle with a line through it.

990

Crossing my fingers someone bashes her on the head with a club and drags her by the hair out of my eyesight.

See more freaks at People of Wal-Mart

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Chicago999444
Chicago999444

You don’t have to be a “slut” or “whore” to have your name scrawled on a restroom stall. I was informed by some guy I worked with 40 years ago that I was so honored, and that whoever wrote my name and no. did it in really neat printing and even spelled my last name correctly.

All a young woman has to do to get her name in lights on the walls of a men’s room, is piss off some childish guy, like by turning him down for a date. Just about every woman who worked at the place was up there with me. Guys just LOVE to scrawl on walls and spread gossip about women they know. It’s just how they are.

rhs jr
rhs jr

I’m sure the girl who broke the mustard jars is going to break a lot of hearts too.

TE
TE

@rhs, like her mother’s?

EL Coyote
EL Coyote

Chicago999444 says: You don’t have to be a “slut” or “whore” to have your name scrawled on a restroom stall.

I think your bragging, Chicago. If you ever got a call from someone who didn’t say a word and hung up after a minute, I know nothing about it.

Today it is mandatory to have your name there. In a world of advertising, you have to cover all the angles.

Desertrat
Desertrat

The gals aren’t unknown for writing on restroom walls. My wife exited a ladies’ room in a restaurant in a fit of giggles:

1st line: “Tonight I rest in the arms of Jesus.”

2nd line: “Okay, but Jerry fucks better.”

Kill Bill
Kill Bill

beebs left his number on another truck stop…not shocking.

EL Coyote
EL Coyote

Desertrat says: The gals aren’t unknown for writing on restroom walls.

Army women:

1st line: “Tomorrow I go back to my husband.”

2nd line: “Be sure to get your VD check first.”

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