Yes, we have a pants shitter this week.
Jingle beard, Jingle beard, Jingle all the waaaaaayyyy! Merry Christmas from all of us at People of Walmart!
Not a good sign when a 10 foot Frosty the Snowman can’t distract our attention away from you.
There is just something about Christmas Eve and PJ’s. They go together like spaghetti and meatballs. Of course there is something about jammies at Walmart and buttcracks that seem to go too well together. Not a fan of that combo.
Is there such thing as being bitemperature? Like bipolar, except instead of different moods your booty is just constantly hot?
Sure, why shouldn’t your pet pig come shopping with you? Only makes sense for Porky here to help pick out the meat you’re going to buy.
I know it has been unseasonably warm this December, but I think you’re taking this a tad too far. In fact, you’d probably be taking mid-July too far in that getup.
At least he can express himself with some creativity. I like a joke that makes you think and I’m pleasantly surprised it came from someone rocking this truck. The standard “F*ck Obama” on a bumper sticker just doesn’t cut it for me anymore.
There is Christmas spirit and then there is Buddy the Elf type energy. Although, she is probably gonna get hooked up with a ton of presents that people leave right at her feet. Smart play girl.
1 in 4 Americans will get an STD in their lifetime. Now I’m not saying she has one. I would never say that about someone. I’m just pointing out a fact and letting you decide if you were putting down bets where you’re 20% guess would land.
Can we just give a round of applause to that one guy sitting in a shoe meeting bored out of his mind and decided to have some fun by jokingly suggesting they just put 10″ platforms on shoes? Literally one pair of these being sold is enough for him to walk around and let everyone know he pulled off the greatest gag of all time.
Listen, I’ve lived in South Carolina for quite some time now and I’ve yet to get a big wet one on the lips. I’m pretty sure you’re just trying to trick people into making out with you. Lights or no lights, I’m not buying it.
Poor little sucker has no idea what’s coming…
If you put all 3 of them together, that’s a pretty good rip on someone. In fact, I might start using that.
Who needs dreams or a soul or bananas when you’ve got death so close to you.
Sometimes Santa goes into neighborhoods and his sleigh would look super out of place, so he’s got a little more chill ride to go in incognito.
Got that ripped leopard print like you’re about to film a Tarzan porn parody.
Didn’t quite make it, not even trying to fake it. That’s how bad it must be telling his lady friend he doesn’t want to shop with her. The fear that must be inside him. Chilling.
The people of Whoville just aren’t as cutesy when they grow up and move away from the herd.
Someone better wake his ass up, he’s got presents to deliver in 7 days!
See more freaks at People of Wal-Mart
Now that I’ve got your attention…
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good morning Maggie
Happy day after Christmas!
How can be people go shopping in torn underwear?
I don’t know, Suzanna/sanna. One time, I went to this church where an obviously poverty stricken family had a baby that had some sort of condition whereby she (the baby) had to wear what was effectively a football helmet because the back of her head was flattened. (I suspect the mother simply left her in a crib with a bottle propped up on a pillor/rag and that caused the flattening, but at the time, I thought it was sad for the little 2 to 3 month old baby. I felt some responsibility because the “couple” were in my Sunday School class and when the church attendance/membership booklet came out, the father of the baby complained about his picture and his pregnant girlfriend being shown on different pages when they obviously lived together. In a class FULL of church members (I was NOT a member, just attended so Joey could learn his Sunday School Lessons from other than me), I was the only one who had the hutzpah to tell him the truth. “When you get married, they will put you on the same page. The Pastor may be able to overlook you living together, but he can’t CONDONE it in the attendance book.”
They got married a couple months after she gave birth, which is why I felt responsible when the “even” I’m about to tell happened.
One of the church do gooders started taking food over for the mother while she was home taking care of the baby and her four year old son from a previous, uh, relationship. She came back telling horror stories of roaches crawling all over the countertops and the baby’s bassinet and that there were flies EVERYwhere. The older women of the church had a meeting and asked for volunteers to go along on a “House Warming Welcoming Committee” for the baby, with the pastor’s permission to clean, fumigate and acquire/purchase new bedding for the new baby and young boy as necessary.
Well, of course I volunteered. After all, I practically forced them to get married, didn’t I? Well, over the course of the gargantuan task worse than Augean’s stables, I was assigned to retrieve all of the clothes that seemed to be stuffed under the bed in the “master” bedroom of the little crappy trailer in the little crappy trailer park. There must have been a dozen pairs of women’s granny panties that were stained with either urine or other fluids or had dirty pads on them and/or they were ripped at the crotch until all that held them together was a single band of elastic. Some were so torn that the rip went all the way up the side, meaning the backside of a very large young woman would have been exposed along with other private parts. I gathered them all up and took them to the church lady in charge of the expedition, telling her I was just going to toss them all in the trash and add a couple of packages of women’s 2xx undies to the list “to buy.”
She told me in no uncertain terms that I was to put them into the laundry that the women who’d volunteered to do laundry were taking at the end of the day because, she said, “You never know what people consider to be valuable property. If we throw them away and she misses them? No. We will have them cleaned and bring them back.”
It was a horrible lesson and I’ve never stuck my nose in anyone’s business concerning marriage again.
The dude that shit himself is just Jellyfish strolling the aisles of TBP.
Accidents happen, I-S. Gnite.
The truck is very seasonal! Our heavy goods vehicles used to do this some years ago, but the practice was banned by NSW Roads and Maritime owing to “being in breach of Australian Lighting Design Rules”, cause over here such Ministerial dogmatism is so very important. People have even been stopped for having SMALL lit Christmas trees in their car back windows – “causes a distraction to other road users” – nice fine there too, so more revenue for NSW Police of course.
How can that girl pick up her feet and hos 0 inch platform shoes with legs that would fit into most Standard pencil sharpeners?