Are we about to start a spin-off of Hoarders, car edition?
Here is a novel idea, instead of standing there with a big arrow, how about you jump up on one of the other 77 empty registers and start checking people out? Then the lines will be even shorter!
Ha! Looks like it’s about to rain because that cloud is full of moisture.
I think we should be more impressed he spelled LSU correctly and give him a pass on the bad tattoo.
The Guerrilla marketing campaign for Q-tips failed dramatically.
Looks like we’ve got a new season of American Horror Story – Wally World.
Wanna know when you’re stuff will arrive? They’ll C U Next Thursday.
They say we should all follow our childhood dreams. However, I think you’re overshooting a realistic career path.
I’m gonna start feeding that bird some Taco Bell so you get some serious shit on your back. Maybe even blow some holes through your shirt. Stop bringing your stupid birds into Walmart. Thank you.
This dude is about to go on a pricing rollback tear!
Suddenly Ben Affleck as Batman doesn’t sound as bad eh?
Good thing we had Vanna White there to point out that 8 inches of plumber’s crack. I probably would have missed it otherwise…
Nothing says “I’m a badass” like expressing it via your t-shirt in Walmart.
Perhaps you should have self-checked yourself out in a mirror before leaving the house.
Nothing says romance quite like banging it out next to a Walmart dumpster…
“After a man and a woman were caught having sex in a vehicle behind a Walmart on Sullivan Road in Central, the couple was arrested and both were charged with obscenity, according to the East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office.
According to the affidavit of probable cause, an officer working extra duty was informed that two people were in a vehicle in the rear parking lot of the store, possibly having sex. The report from the sheriff’s office says just after 2 a.m. Monday morning the vehicle was parked near the dumpsters, but in view of the loading dock. The deputy noted the area is a “high traffic” area for Walmart overnight due to the amount of shipments coming to the store.
The deputy told 22-year-old Alex Fourroux and 23-year-old Ashley Aicard to “get some clothes on” after knocking on the window, according to the report. After getting dressed, the pair got out of the vehicle.
The report states, Aicard admitted to the deputy she and Fourroux were having sex and said “I didn’t think it was a big deal. We weren’t being loud or anything.”
Both Aicard and Fourroux were placed under arrest.
During a search of the vehicle, the deputy found two syringes, according to the report. The deputy stated in his report one contained a clear liquid and the other was empty. Fourroux told the deputy the syringes were his and said the clear liquid was water.
The deputy also noted in his report that Fourroux was previously banned from all Walmart properties due to theft.
Aicard was charged with obscenity and she had a bench warrant out for her arrest.
Fourroux was charged with obscenity, entry after being forbidden and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Both were booked into the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison. No bond has been set at the time of this report.”
Oh God! It’s like Sauron’s evil eye watching me wherever I move! Make it stop!!!!
Fortunately it looks like Walmart is all stocked up on butter for them biscuits….or in this case, English muffins.
Bluetooth is for losers, that red shirt hands free headset is the new hot shit. Fact.
Unless you are recreating Breaking Bad, I think you and your Walter Whitie tighties need get out of here.
When you don’t want the weekend to end so you just don’t give AF on Monday…
See more freaks at People of Wal-Mart
Is it just me that thinks Americans are putting on a little extra weight these days. I feel like a minority at 165lbs and 6’1 when I go out in public and see a (ton) of fat asses. One other point is who dresses these fucking people. Where are the checks and balances before leaving the house?
There ain’t no movie theaters or drive-ins in Mesquite, TX. It’s not as bad a Mudhole, KY though.
Those poor, helpless vegetables!
I/S
Today is the day that I join you in saying we need, nae MUST HAVE a complete ELE. The sooner the better.
You are indeed wise beyond your years. Bea
Iska may be onto something, if bestiality results in leaner and smarter creatures than man, I’d say go for it.
Porn may have had a prurient purpose back then but now it is simply a therapy against the horror of modern homo-sapiens.
I hope millenials do not take up crack spotting, it’s something I’d rather miss.
@EL
It is impressive when anyone can use the word ‘prurient’ in a sentence. I salute you for that. Most of your humor flies over the heads of the readers here though. You obviously have a prescription for amphetamines.