WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

1486

Guess my man got lost on his way from the coffee pot to his bathroom for his morning constitutional. Like waaaaaay lost.

1485

Who just stands in front of a Walmart with their beav out posing for pictures like you’re just on a casual sight seeing vacation tour? That’s not the Roman Coliseum behind you, it’s a lady buying new Tupperware and some flowers.

I wouldn’t even mind waiting in those long ass checkout lines if this dude was ringing me up every time.

1487

I see someone needs a diaper change. Maybe while you’re in the changing spirit, just go ahead and change everything else. Top to bottom, just switch it all out.

1484

We got the fancy poodle and her mini me too. I feel bad for you puppies. All you want to do is chill, eat some Snausages and maybe roll around in some shit in the yard but instead they got you all dolled up for nothing. Don’t get me wrong, you’d make some best selling plush toys for kids, but since you’re not you should probably get the hell out of Walmart.

1481

Got that all jean jumpsuit so you can work out & chafe at the same time!

1483

Looks like you turned the blow dryer setting all the way to Spaceballs.

1482

There is a 100% chance you’ve got some Easter hams that you’re smuggling out of the store back there.

1478

You’ve got the neck and head tattoos coupled with a trucker hat and yet I’m the asshole…Go figure.

1479

Okay, I think we can all agree to chip in a little for that. At least we’ll finally we know our money is going to a good cause.

1477

Caught just moments before the tragic back fat flood of 2016…RIP to all 74 victims at Walmart that day.

1480

Never trust a dude with toe rings. That’s a life fact you can take to the grave. Also, this dude needs to invest in some closed shoes. That’s just on another level of funked up.

1474

What the what? How did you manage to split that off-center seam? I can’t tell if I’m impressed or shocked or If I should just go home. I think I’m gonna just go home.

1475

Clark Kent holding on to his youth like a madafucka. Let it go bro. Go grey in style.

1473

There’s not enough camouflage in the world to hide that haircut my man.

1476

#RelationshipGoals #Keeper #MyWifeWouldDivorceMeForPullingThatShit

1472

It’s like your trainer at the gym told you to squeeze in your glutes but never told you to release and you’re such a teacher’s pet that you still haven’t let go. Eventually a fart is going to back up and you will implode.

1471

2 things I can tell you about Grandma here: (1) That’s going to be an uncomfortable wedgie to pick back out and (2) She is definitely buying Werther’s Original.

1469

Hey kiddos, this is what we mean when we refer to someone as a “hot mess”. Not good. Don’t become this. Make better life choices.

1470

The only question here is why? I honest to goodness can’t think of a single reason why you need your iguana, lizard whatever-the-hell-it-is in Walmart with you. Not even a half assed poor excuse to offer up. Just stop being freaking weird.

See more freaks at People of Wal-Mart

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3 Comments
Chuck Dennis
Chuck Dennis
April 2, 2016 9:34 am

It was a good week…

Ed
Ed
April 2, 2016 10:41 am

“Who just stands in front of a Walmart with their beav out posing for pictures like you’re just on a casual sight seeing vacation tour? ”

The same nekkid gal from a couple weeks ago, that’s who..BTW, the pic of the panhandlin dude shows her poor ol’ hub tryin to cover her stuff the only way he knows.

Great captions this week. Hat’s off.

John Angelo
John Angelo
April 2, 2016 12:12 pm

The US has been at DEFCON 2 only once (1962 Cuban Missile Crisis). The county has never been at DEFCON 1 (maximum state of readiness). The events of 9/11 put us at DEFCON 3 for instance. For those who are unaware of how the system works, on a scale from 1-5, DEFCON 5 is the normal baseline level at times of peace. DEFCON 4 was enacted at various times during the Cold War and during the “War on Terror.” Culturally speaking, we’re past 9/11 (DEFCON 3) and at Cuban Missile Crisis (DEFCON 2) levels in the suburbs. I’d say we’re approaching a cultural DEFCON 1 in certain cities. I don’t even know how to conclude my thoughts. My head is still spinning from this week’s pictures.