Guest Post by Eric Peters
It’s depressing when even Jalopnik – a car site that’s supposed to be into cars – throws a bukakke party for the new Tesla 3.
Which is a car in the same way that this is an airplane:
Elon Musk’s latest four-wheeled exercise in rent-seeking will reportedly be “sold” (fundamentally dishonest word; I’ll explain) for about $35,000 to start. Which is a “deal” – sort of – when compared with the other Tesla, which has a starting price just under $70k.
Jalopnik writes (if it can be described as such):
“The entry-level Tesla Model 3 sedan is coming the month and it’s not just supposed to transform the future of the company, it’s supposed to transform the electric car into (sic) a bit player for the sybaritic and the techno-weirdos into a clean vehicle for the masses….”
The “writer” (sorry, I can’t help myself) then goes on to abuse the “shit talkers” (that’d be me) who “howl all day” about the electric Edsel’s range and recharge issues – which have not been solved.
As per usual, this article – pretty much all the articles – parrot Tesla’s press kit talking points about the car’s potential range, which is “up to” 300 miles. Well, sure. You might also earn “up to” $100,000 a month working from home, using our multi-level marketing scam. Just call 1-800-BULLSHIT and sign up now.
It amazes that so many people still fall for the “up to” schtick.
Especially here.
The editorial laziness, the engineering ignorance – or the bought-and-paid-for shilling is truly spectacular.
Ok, sure. The car might indeed go “up to” 300 miles… if you live in a nice warm place like southern California…. if you drive on mostly flat roads and like a Clover (gimpy acceleration, stick to within a few MPH of the speed limit) and avoid using electrically powered accessories like the headlights and heater and air conditioning.
Then, maybe.
Of course, a $5,000 used Corolla can do all that stuff, too. 
More, actually.
Granted, it’s not sexy. But it’s also not subsidized.
If, however, you live in a place that has hills … or gets cold… or you like to use the heat and headlights… or you drive your $35,000 to start “luxury performance” electric car in an un-Clover manner… well, your mileage will vary.
But that’s just me “shit talking” again.
Because I am shilling for Big Oil, cannot embrace new technology (which is actually very old technology).
Well, except that the Jalopnik flak inadvertently agrees with me. He writes:
“One thing odd tick (sic) we did encounter, however, is what happens to a Tesla battery if you leave it unplugged overnight… on a cold night, you can see a drop of up to 40 miles from where you left it.”
So, you’ve got a $35,000 car that loses 40 miles of range just because you left it sitting. Isn’t that like having an old gas-engined jalopy with a pinhole leak in its gas tank? Except, of course, you didn’t have to spend $35,000 on the leaky jalopy. And even if the tank leaks dry, you can still pour in a 5 gallon jug of gas in about 5 minutes or less.
Which brings me to the Other Thing:
The mass market acceptance of the new Tesla will depend on a whole new rent-seeking project:
The establishment of a network of Tesla “supercharger” fast-charging stations all over the country.
Guess who’s gonna pay for that, too?
And I guess it’s just more “shit-talking” on my part to point out the hilarity of describing as “fast” a recharge time that’s still “about half an hour or so.”
I’m the “shit talker” for boggling at the idea that people are going to be happy about waiting around for half an hour to forty-five minutes to get back on the road again?
We’re talking waits-to-get-going that are 150 times the typical 5 minute refuel with a gas-engined car. And which you’ll have to do more often because the Tesla doesn’t go nearly as far on a full charge as a gas-engined car goes on a full tank. (I’m a car journalist; the car companies send me a new car to test drive each week. But only rarely an electric car. Why? Because they can’t make the 250 mile trip in a day, unless they’re piggybacked down here on a flatbed.)
But then, the Tesla is “clean” and “green.”
Yeah, sure. If you don’t count the elsewhere emissions – including that dread gas, C02 – emanating from the utility plants that generate the electricity the Tesla runs on. Or the earth-rape for the rare metals needed for the cars’ battery packs, not to mention the emissions produced manufacturing them.
The one potentially positive aspect of this story is that if Elon Musk can line up enough rich suckers to buy the “inexpensive” Model 3, it will be slightly harder for him to dig his hands into your pockets and mine (via Uncle) to “help” him – via subsidies – manufacture his crony capitalist conveyances.
But that’s about as likely to happen as the Chevy Volt becoming a best-seller.
And in defense of the Volt, it could at least make a 400 mile road trip without 45 minute pit stops to recharge every 150 miles or so. Because it carried along a portable gas-fired generator (an internal combustion engine), which made it a serviceable car, albeit a grossly overpriced one.
The Tesla 3 has no such lifeline. When it runs out juice, you’ve run out of luck.
Better call Uncle.
But hey – that’s just me “shit talking” again.
The government at work. Makes me feel so confident about my empire. Kinda like all those young adults do who are voting for Sanders make me feel all warm and fuzzy too.
Tesla reminds me of Enron: all of their value tomorrow is on the books today. As the Hummer brand was the sign of ultimate excess in the 2000s under Bush leading to the 2008 crash, the Tesla brand is the sign of ultimate excess under Obama in the 2010s leading to the next crash. I think they’ll always be a niche product. The irony is their market cap is $34B, more than half of GM at $46B. Tesla has sold 125,000 cars in their history while GM dealers sold 3.1M cars last year. Can you say “bubble?”
The guy has never made any money. It’s all comes from government grants and tax breaks. He sells the carbon credits to big companies.
This guy is so full of himself.
Not so fast. I live in a world ideal for Teslas. Hot, flat, and crowded. There are Tesla model S’s everywhere. I see dozens every day. Maybe they aren’t a road trip car, but they seem to function fine in city driving, they look nice, they are very fast, what’s the big deal? I see Volts on occasion, ugly, tiny, slow, and not many on the road. Tesla is doing something right.
What the Tesla really needs is a miniature coal fired power plant you can tow along behind it on longer trips to recharge the batteries when they go dead. Maybe something about the size of those little turtle shell trailers used for your luggage on long trips in small vehicles.
“There are Tesla model S’s everywhere. I see dozens every day. ”
I’ll bet that ties up all the rollback tow trucks in the area, too. They’re rare and usually spotted boomed down on a tow truck, headed for a charge station.
after 5 years, the battery starts to degrade, and needs to be replaced after 8-10, for a $10k fee.
but who cares, nobody will ever own one in this coutnry, they will lease it for 3 years, and then it will be sold to our friends in the desert, who will mount 50 calibers, and paint it desert brown, and use if for silent night raids.
The next Tesla addition to motoring
Not true, Ed. I’m no fan of the federal involvement with Tesla, but as a product they are pretty nice. They shot some print advertising at my farm with the little roadster, and in return I got a test drive, hard to get in and out of, no space between the steering wheel and the door sill, but really fast. The model S is much more refined, I’ve never seen one with the windows down, so the AC must work. They’re everywhere down here.
We have a nuke plant down here (turkey point). Imagine a million electrics plugged into nuke electric. Money for nothing, chick’s for free.
I’d like to know how this “electric” car thing is going to work out when we know for a fact that the electrical grid that we all depend on for our daily lives, (and yes TBP) is running at 98% capacity. With all those electric cars coming online, we will need to double the capacity of the grid.
Oh and not to be forgotten, there is already a concern for these charging stations, which are are being used on a regular basis, and some are already complaining that they can’t get a charge for their vehicle, because someone is hogging the charging station.
How long before these charging stations charge a “road usage tax” because of lost gasoline taxes?
Or just a charge “because”?
I don’t think anyone has thought this through very well…………………..
“They’re everywhere down here.”
OK, it’s just that I drive a lot within a radius of about 150 miles of Richmond, VA and I’ve never seen one on the road, at least with its tires in contact with the road.
Ed, Richmond doesn’t have a Tesla dealer yet. But they are working well in ft lauderdale and miami.
Greetings,
If I remember correctly, the state of California makes you pay all the taxes you would have paid buying gasoline when you register your electric vehicle. No one but the showoff wealthy can afford such a privilege here.
Also, a typical commute in an electric car will use as much energy as a typical home uses in a 24 hour period. You can think of each electric car as a home moving down the freeway. If 10% of the cars were electric then it would collapse the grid.
Musk is the PT Barnum of the tech world.
Pablo, I could be wrong but when my mom was looking at buying a Model S she said replacement batteries were $40,00! Maybe that was for the bigger one. I think 8-10 years is pretty optimistic for replacement too. How do your laptop batteries perform after three or four years? Mine are shit.
They put in a supercharger in town by my mom’s bank so she figured since she goes to that part of town a few times a week she could charge it for free. I told her to see keep an eye on it when she is in town. For over a year now there has been a car occupying the charger every time she looks.
Tesla will really eat shit when they can’t sell off their old leased cars without including new batteries.
“replacement batteries were $40,00”
I doubt that. $40 might get you a wheel lug.
No thanks, I’ll keep my Plug-In Prius. First ten miles on a fresh charge are all EV, then about 56 mpg when the engine runs, AND no waiting to recharge, just pump in some regular (about every 560 miles) and you’re good to go!
”
Ed, Richmond doesn’t have a Tesla dealer yet”
When they do, towing companies will rejoice and add to their fleets. Terrain and weather here are unforgiving. Priuses do poorly enough here, so a Tesla would be fucked.
Tesla is supposed to be a city car, but Richmond is a city with hills and bottoms. Damn few people with the money for a Tesla live in the city proper. It’s suburbs and small towns with parkways and interstates. Most people drive 30-70 minutes one way to work.
I’ll let you know if a dealer shows up here.
Sorry $40,000 not $40,00 but I’m sure most of you figured that out.
Nobody probably cares about charging, when was the last time you went 100 miles on an average day?
I posted something about solving the deficiencies of electric cars yesterday.
You tow a trailer behind the electric car with a high-output diesel-engine driven generator and a huge fuel tank on it, running constantly, recharging the battery as you drive.
All the econazi prestige of having an electric car to ‘value-signal’ to your green peers with, while minimizing the shortcomings of the electric car (crappy range and long charge times).
“when was the last time you went 100 miles on an average day?”
All the time, when my season is on. Weekends consist of Fridays 200-400 miles, Saturdays 20 miles or less, Sundays 200-400 miles. Shopping days during the week are always 100+ miles.
Fair enough, Ed, not the car for you. I ate lunch with a friend yesterday and he’s thinking about putting down a deposit. Sounds ideal for him.
Yep, star, none of the electric or hybrid cars will work for me at the current state of their technology. I’m not opposed to them by any means, but it doesn’t look to me as though they are a solution to anything I’m working on right now.