I thought this exclusive photo obtained through my unnamed CIA sources was conclusive evidence that Osama Bin Laden was dead.
But on a crisp Spring morning today I was travelling my normal route to work and made my left turn onto the 30 Blocks of Squalor. I came up to the first stop light. I was listening to the Rolling Stones Greatest Hits and Sympathy For the Devil was playing. I look into my rearview mirror and to my horror, there he was.
Driving a cab on the 30 Blocks of Squalor was none other than Osama Bin Laden. He had the dirty gray and black beard. He had the turbin. He had the rotten yellow teeth. It was the devil himself. Now I knew why Obama wasn’t releasing the photos of a dead Bin Laden. He wasn’t dead. He was under deep cover in West Philly on the Squalor. The sign on top of the cab was a dead giveaway.
I kept staring in my rearview mirror and I think the top terrorist on the planet noticed. I’m sure he saw the BurningPlatform.com bumper sticker on the back of my Insight. I was in the middle lane and eventually Bin Laden pulled up on my right and I swear he winked at me. As we approached 57th and Chestnut, the Muslim section of the 30 Blocks of Squalor, I got all the proof I needed. Bin Laden the cab driver pulled over in front of The Islamic Place.
And what does he do next? He gets out of the cab, puts down his prayer mat and starts praying to Allah.
So there you have it. Conclusive proof that Obama and his minions have committed the biggest conspiracy since 9/11. It was clear there was no gunshot wound in Bin Laden the cab driver’s head. You never know what will happen or who you’ll run into on the Squalor.
newsjunkie says:
I swear the exact same thing happened to my niece’s boyfriend.
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5th May 2011 at 9:43 pm
Colma Rising says:
You should have slammed on the breaks and sued his sneaky haji ass…
But you might get fucked out of your tort by a military judge…
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5th May 2011 at 9:52 pm
Administrator says:
Exclusive photo of Bin Laden and his wife.
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5th May 2011 at 10:17 pm
Kill Bill says:
He gets around pretty good for a guy with marfan
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5th May 2011 at 10:37 pm
llpoh says:
Looks a lot like Colma’s sugar mama. Just sayin,
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5th May 2011 at 10:51 pm
SSS says:
You have a very fertile mind, Admin. I have brought it to the attention of the appropriate officials. They are very intrigued and ready to table an offer. Just one hurdle. You have to get past me. How do you think you’d do?
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5th May 2011 at 10:55 pm
SSS says:
Fucking Word Press.
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5th May 2011 at 10:57 pm
SSS says:
Damnit. Last try.
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5th May 2011 at 11:01 pm
SSS says:
No fucking comments about my inability to post a picture. This is all Avalon and Obama’s fault.
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5th May 2011 at 11:04 pm
llpoh says:
Good thing being a spook is a low tech job. Otherwise we’d all be speaking Russian by now.
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5th May 2011 at 11:22 pm
jmarz says:
llpoh
I picked up a copy of a book you recommended a while back called How to Win Friends and Influence People. It was a book referenced on the list you provided for “Must Reads.” I’m really enjoying the book.
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5th May 2011 at 11:26 pm
llpoh says:
Jmarz – it is a classic. Unfortunately none of the things in it have any effect on RE. I have tried, but no luck.
Glad it is proving worthwhile for you.
I am going to recommend computers for dummies to SSS.
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5th May 2011 at 11:32 pm
SSS says:
llpoh
Low tech, my ass. Take a look at my latest disguise.
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5th May 2011 at 11:33 pm
SSS says:
Jesus, computer attack. Once again.
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5th May 2011 at 11:40 pm
SSS says:
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5th May 2011 at 11:40 pm
Reverse Engineer says:
@LLPOH
I have a good friend who is always laying the Steven Covey “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” stuff on me. Makes me heave the Technicolor Yawn. I’m sure you would love it. LOL.
RE
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5th May 2011 at 11:48 pm
llpoh says:
RE – not a huge Covey fan but some are. Whom am I to argue with those trying to improve themselves?
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5th May 2011 at 11:50 pm
Colma Rising says:
My sugar mama is gorgeous, dammit.
People compare her to her.
You’re just jealous, llpoh… but fret not, you’re rich. I wish I was rich…
“Sorry, llpoh, I’ll need the cash in advance…”
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5th May 2011 at 1:15 am
llpoh says:
Colma – I wish I looked as good as the guy in the photo. I am hapily married. If not, as my dad used to say – money draws women like shit draws flies.
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5th May 2011 at 1:36 am
flash says:
Here’s something to ponder.
http://voxday.blogspot.com/2011/05/inevitable-return-of-racism.html
The inevitable return of racism
It is becoming increasingly obvious that there was a legitimate reason underlying the imperialist European’s concept of the White Man’s Burden. Those who harbor a distaste for observable reality can shriek “racism” all they like, but no amount of moral self-preening or politically correct histrionics is going to change the fact that certain groups have repeatedly and reliably demonstrated a complete inability to maintain the societal infrastructure that is required to sustain Western-style civilization. There is no need to delve into potential biological or cultural explanations to simply observe what is not only historically and empirically obvious, but increasingly undeniable.
According to a new report, 47 percent of Detroiters are ”functionally illiterate.” The alarming new statistics were released by the Detroit Regional Workforce Fund on Wednesday. WWJ Newsradio 950 spoke with the Fund’s Director, Karen Tyler-Ruiz, who explained exactly what this means.
“Not able to fill out basic forms, for getting a job — those types of basic everyday (things). Reading a prescription; what’s on the bottle, how many you should take… just your basic everyday tasks,” she said. “I don’t really know how they get by, but they do. Are they getting by well? Well, that’s another question,” Tyler-Ruiz said.
Now, perhaps those who believe in racial, cultural, national, and ethnic equality will find this piece of evidence unconvincing too. Perhaps 47 percent isn’t high enough to concern them, or perhaps they’ll put it down to some mysterious cultural change that happens to coincide with the transformation of the racial demographics of Detroit. Or perhaps they will suspect semantic games behind ill-defined terms such as “functionally illiterate”. Such excuses may smack of willful obtuseness, but are not entirely unreasonable.
So, here’s the question. Precisely how bad will things have to get before you abandon your belief in racial, cultural, national, religious, and ethnic equality? 100 percent illiteracy? 80 percent illegitimacy? Cannibalism and necrophilia in the streets? Or will it take the complete abandonment of a once-thriving metropolis before you are willing to admit that there actually might be some real science behind the idea that all human beings are not, in fact, equal in any material manner and that civilization depends upon recognizing those material inequalities and taking them into account?
It’s easy to avoid having a serious discussion on such matters by simply throwing rhetorical bombs. “Do you seriously believe blacks shouldn’t be permitted to vote, you horrible racist?” “Do you seriously believe the citizen children of hard-working, law-abiding undocumented Mexicans should be forcibly deported to a country they have never even seen, you cruel and hateful person?” Gasps and feigned horror all round. But such rhetorical devices are nothing more than cheap appeals to emotion and won’t delay the collapse of Western civilization by so much as a single day. So, here is my question in return. “Do you believe [population] should be permitted [action] if that permission demonstrably bears a high probability of leading to societal collapse?” That is the pertinent question that must precede any rational discussion of the subject.
We don’t permit children to vote. Are they not people? We don’t permit foreigners to vote. Are they, too, not people? We don’t even permit ex-criminals to vote even though they are both adults and citizens. And they’re also people, however much we might like to pretend otherwise. So, it’s clearly not a question of democratic limits being intrinsically illegitimate, but rather what is deemed to be in the interest of the nation.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I would much rather live in a safe, prosperous, and free society where I am not permitted to vote and am not even a fully equal member of society than in a third-world hellhole where I can vote every single day on whether clay or dirt will be distributed for dinner by the elected government. There is far more to human liberty than voting.
The end of the equalitarian era is rapidly approaching due to the same sort of intrinsic contradictions that sank Soviet economic communism. And like it or not, this almost surely means a return to the historical norm of open racism on all sides. As the Christian influence on the law subsides, there simply is no more basis for the idea that all men are created equal.
Labels: decline and fall
Comments (246)
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5th May 2011 at 7:33 am
Nonanonymous says:
It’s not racism that will revive, but tribalism.
Wait for it….
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5th May 2011 at 8:09 am
flash says:
I nominate RE as first Big Chief Dirtybutt of the Neverwipe Tribe.
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5th May 2011 at 8:12 am
Osama Bin Laden says:
Infidel Administrator
You are right. It was me driving that cab. I wrote down your website and have been following the discussion closely on my iPhone.
The picture of me wrapped in bacon made me laugh so hard, my turbin started to unwrap. Who says I don’t have a sense of humor.
But the picture of wife as a camel crossed the line. I will be looking for you on the 30 Blocks of Squalor and I have my AK-47 handy.
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5th May 2011 at 8:15 am
Barbara Bush says:
flash,
But Georgie couldn’t read either.
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5th May 2011 at 9:37 am
Thinker says:
I’m going to be a real buzz-kill here, but the guy in the rear-view mirror isn’t Muslim. He’s Sikh. You can tell by the way his turban (dastar) is wrapped.
Sikhism is one of the more fascinating of the world’s religions. I learned quite a bit about when I lived overseas. It’s kind of like the Libertarian party to the Democratic and Republican parties.
Anyway, just a bit of trivia for a Friday morning… TGIF
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5th May 2011 at 11:33 am
Colma Rising says:
Thinker:
This turban, that turban… whatevs.
….buzz kill is right. (“Haji” from Jonny Quest was sikh too but that’s what we call achmed in the sandbox).
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5th May 2011 at 11:47 am
flash says:
Barbara Bush says:
flash,
But Georgie couldn’t read either.
Dubya could read ,even graduated with MBA, which doesn’t make him a genius by a long shot ,but certainly not an illiterate .
That said.Did you have a point?
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5th May 2011 at 1:38 pm
Barbara Bush says:
flash,
Just making light of what is undoubtedly a very serious situation.
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5th May 2011 at 1:44 pm
howard in nyc says:
flash–that piece (of crap) falsely presumes racism ever went away.
stupid (like the concept that content of melanin in the skin correlates with neurologic function in any fucking way shape or form) abides. you’re living proof.
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5th May 2011 at 4:47 pm
flash says:
howard in nyc says:
flash–that piece (of crap) falsely presumes racism ever went away.
stupid (like the concept that content of melanin in the skin correlates with neurologic function in any fucking way shape or form) abides. you’re living proof.
Don’t blame me Howard.I didn’t destroy the inner cities and force white people into suburbia. No one wants to live in crime infested shitholes.
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5th May 2011 at 4:55 pm