Mac Slavo has the Rapture countdown clock on his website. We’ve got 1 day and about 5 and a half hours left. But, it might not be so bad. According to the story below, the chosen few will be lifted up to heaven before it gets really bad. I hate to tell you suckers, but I’m one of the chosen few. See ya on the other side.
I think it is a little overblown. May 21 is only the start of the end of the world. It won’t be completely destroyed until October 21. That leaves a full five months of pain and suffering for you people. I guess you should have lived better holier lives, like me.
The Rapture: May 21, 2011 @ 6:00 PM Local Time
Followers of well-known Christian TV and radio host Harold Camping are preparing for the End of Days, slated to occur tommorow, May 21, 2011 at 6:00 PM in your local time zone.
Camping, who has made a living from his California based Family Radio Christian network since 1958 and has assets totaling in excess of $25 million, has been preaching since 2008 that the end of days would occur on exactly this day, at exactly this hour. While the exact number of his followers is not known, Camping’s success shows that they number in the tens of thousands world-wide.
Many of them believe tomorrow is it. It’s the beginning of the end. According to Camping’s interpretation of biblical prophecy, May 21 will begin with cataclysmic natural events at 6:00 PM around New Zealand and progress around the world every hour. That means at 6:00 PM tomorrow, no matter where you are in the world, you can expect earthquakes and other disasters. The rapture will kick off shortly thereafter with only a chosen few being taken to heaven. If you’re still on earth after the rapture, you can expect Armageddon – total destruction of everyone and everything on the planet. By October 21, 2011 it will all be over and the earth will reportedly be completely destroyed.
The Holy Bible, in Matthew 24:36, says, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Apparently, however, Brother Camping figured out the calculations necessary to determine when the end is nigh. According to Camping, the rapture begins exactly 7,000 years after Noah’s flood, and that day happens to be May 21, 2011.
It’s noteworthy to mention that Mr. Camping predicted the end of the world back in 1994, after which he claimed that his numbers were off. This time he’s certain.
He’s so sure, in fact, that hundreds, if not thousands, of his followers have liquidated their bank accounts to either enjoy their last days on earth or to donate those funds to the May 21, 2011 awareness campaign. Many of his die-hard believes are absolutely convinced.
We have no doubt that the world will end – eventually. We do however, have our doubts about tomorrow being that specific day, simply because so many “prophets” have made the same failed predictions for hundreds of years.
We’ll report back to our readers on May 22 with more info…or not.
Author: Mac Slavo
Date: May 20th, 2011
Visit the Author’s Website: http://www.SHTFplan.com/
MUCK – THIS MESSAGE IS FOR YOU.
Smith-n-Jones says:
The Rapture already happened. That’s where all the bees went.
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20th May 2011 at 12:54 pm
newsjunkie says:
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20th May 2011 at 1:02 pm
StuckInNJ says:
When will these fuckers stop making stoopid ass predictions?
.
Christian Bumper Sticker
.
Stucky Bumber Sticker
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20th May 2011 at 1:02 pm
StuckInNJ says:
What actually gets Raptured?
Your wedding ring? No, it is Left Behind.
Your wallet? ——— No, it is Left Behind.
Your shoes? ——– No, it is Left Behind.
Your clothes? ——- No, it is Left Behind.
Therefore, this is what the Rapture will TRULY look like.
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20th May 2011 at 1:07 pm
StuckInNJ says:
“I hate to tell you suckers, but I’m one of the chosen few. See ya on the other side.” — Admin
Not able to memorize the Lord’s Prayer … Quinn’s Prayer consists of just 4 words.
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20th May 2011 at 1:15 pm
StuckInNJ says:
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20th May 2011 at 1:17 pm
Reverse Engineer says:
Nothing like Prophecies of Armageddon to get Stucky’s Blood Boiling
RE
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20th May 2011 at 1:25 pm
AwholeDr says:
You only get raptured if you have your JJ grape cool-aid…
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20th May 2011 at 1:27 pm
dbacktim says:
Well hell that settles it. Massive cocktails tonight with filets. booyaaaaa
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20th May 2011 at 2:08 pm
Hope@ZeroKelvin says:
This guy is picking this time and date becuz he knows when his pacemaker battery will die.
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20th May 2011 at 2:12 pm
Colma Rising says:
Watch for purple Nikes and cyanide vodka tonics…
The propensity for these people to do some crazy shit is staggering.
Wouldn’t it be cool if these people did disappear and then God changed her mind and left it at that?
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20th May 2011 at 2:14 pm
AwholeDr says:
Admin:
Say hello to David Koresh and Jim Jones for me….
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20th May 2011 at 2:18 pm
KaD says:
If you want to read about what *could* happen try this; but be prepared to not get any sleep for a while after reading it:
http://www.amazon.com/Future-Prospects-World-According-Bible/dp/1892138077/ref=sr_1_41?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1305916710&sr=1-41
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20th May 2011 at 2:40 pm
JIMSKI says:
I read an article where this ” church ” is worth like 70 million bucks. It looks like outside of government office the real cake is in GOD.
We need to start a church with the proceeds going to TBP to fully fund the site. Jim can pay us as ” high priests ” in TBP gear.
Can I get an amaluia
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20th May 2011 at 2:49 pm
Viet Vet-70 says:
For the Admin, I wonder how many are “boomer” spending their last dime before they pass on at 6PM tomorrow? Thinking I should find me a few ‘young ladies’ and ” re-live my youths”. BTW anyone have any of those blue pills they can loan me, gladly pay you back on Sunday…….
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20th May 2011 at 2:51 pm
Kill Bill says:
This cant be true I still have some telomere length.
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20th May 2011 at 3:22 pm
Muck About says:
@Stuck: That red head in the crowd of naked posteriors sure stands out does’t she?
ADMIN: Forget it! I’m not going anywhere and I need fast transportation to get there! Go buy your own Mustang and leave mine (my sweetie’s actually) alone!
But I’ll tell you , I’ll be on pins and needles at 5:59PM EST and will make a few phone calls to see who’s gone, starting with the Old Bastard (are there any other kind?) I don’t like that lives down the street! Then – if everyone is left – which I expect – the moral character of human race will stand revealed for all to see and maybe that’ll kill off the rest of the damned Catholic Church. I mean, after all, you give them you money, you expect them to put in a good word for you, stamp “I am a Moral person” on your forehead so at 6:00:01PM tomorrow you can go “poof” with all the other nutters..
If they don’t come through, fuck ‘em.. Not another dime in the collection basket!
MA
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20th May 2011 at 3:35 pm
TeresaE says:
Ah Stuck, nice posterior pics but that isn’t what it will look like in America. Over 30% of us are obese and I only saw a couple chubbies.
Since my holier-than-thou Aunt and Uncle will be in heaven with you Admin, along with my reformed Catholic hub, I’ll just hang here and enjoy the anarchy, chaos and debauchery. Even though I have been “saved” five times, apparently I still haven’t been properly saved, at least according to my A&U. Of course with hub being Catholic and me not converting I can’t go anyway.
Rapture cracks me the hell up. So, just “which” religious affiliation is the “real” chosen ones.
Personally I believe that if their is a God, joke will be on the Christians because even your bible tells you that the Jews are the chosen ones. I’ll even refrain from mentioning the fact that Jesus was a Jew. Oops, sorry.
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20th May 2011 at 4:03 pm
Welshman says:
Stuck,
All the naked people in your pic are women, all the men going to hell, except you and Quinn?
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20th May 2011 at 4:53 pm
Welshman says:
This Rapture is going to wreck the housing market for the rest of the year. I’m somewhat puzzeld also, that not one of my realitives has ask me to take their pets. Maybe it is not a Mormon Rapture.
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20th May 2011 at 5:08 pm
Surly1 says:
Stuck
When I read this thread and got to your Star Wars Rapture picture, I spit out my afternoon coffee!
Now my Facebook pic!
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20th May 2011 at 5:09 pm
ragman says:
I thought that preacher dude was Joe Biden.
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20th May 2011 at 5:10 pm
Dave says:
At 6:01 pm tomorrow this guy will be announcing that it was Rupture surgery he was scheduled for on Saturday night.. You guys all.misunderstood.
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20th May 2011 at 7:16 pm
Tad says:
Who else will stay up all night blaring its the end of the world as we know it!
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20th May 2011 at 8:41 pm
Muck About says:
@Welshman: There are at least 5 men in that group. I can tell a ladies posterior from 500 feet (before I had my eyes worked on!) and there were at least 5 people in that group that don’t qualify!
MA
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20th May 2011 at 8:58 pm
Muck About says:
@TeresaE: God is a joke. (Think about it!)
MA
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20th May 2011 at 9:01 pm
StuckInNJ says:
Muck — That redhead is the ONLY one who would even get a whiff of my telomere!
Teresa — God loves fatted calves, he does not love fatted people. There will be a weight restriction to be raptured. The Lord did not reveal the cutoff to me. I could be Left Behind, though.
Welsh — No, being filled with the Holy Spirit there is no fucking way I am going to hell. The Rapture will be segrated however. This only shows God’s love for us. How far up and away is heaven? Pretty far!! Even traveling at the speed of light I believe the trip will take a long time … naked men and women traveling in such a group would no doubt start fucking like rabbits … and then PooF!, straight to hell you go. BTW, if you get raptured please do not try to circumvent rules by jerking off on the way to the Pearly Gates.
Surly — That’s Star TREK … not Star Wars. No Rapture for you!!
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20th May 2011 at 9:05 pm
StuckInNJ says:
Here is a video of Harold Camping expoplaing WHY the Rapture will be tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk3ovpIfSz8&feature=player_embedded
Now, I know quite a few you people are too fucking lazy to click on a link. I mean, that’s sooo damn hard to do, isn’t it??? lol So, for you lazy bums I shall summarize what he says;
IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU DICK SUCKERS and PUSSY EATERS!!!
That’s right — you dick suckers are to blame!! Now, the ladies here are not to blame. Nossir. He is talking about homo’s. Guys sucking guys dicks … like we have here on TBP. I’m not going to name names but you know who you are.
Same for pussy eaters. Only applies to Lesbians. Bitchezzz!!
Some people are flexible enough to suck their OWN genitals. I’m not clear how the Lord feels about this. So you self-suckers (you know who you are) feel free to continue … but with caution (at least don’t swallow your junk.)
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20th May 2011 at 9:19 pm
Colma Rising says:
The stuchmeister hath spoken.
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20th May 2011 at 9:33 pm
StuckInNJ says:
Sad story.
The body of Yvette Vickers was found in her Benedict Canyon home in April. It is believed SHE DIED A YEAR AGO, but her remains went undiscovered.
Who was Yvette Vickers? She was the former Playboy girl who starred in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. A true ’50′s classic. One of the best.
.
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20th May 2011 at 9:46 pm
Punk in Drublic says:
Stuck, don’t take this the wrong way…. I know that it sounds like I am being hurtful, but I swear I am not…. I just enjoy your posts and links so much…..
I hope that you are a closet faggot cocksucker homo and do not Rapture away tomorrow so that I can continue to call you names and click your links.
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20th May 2011 at 9:52 pm
Colma Rising says:
Bummer. I heard Randy Mach Man Savage died too.
But a year later? She must have been a mess…
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20th May 2011 at 9:55 pm
Colma Rising says:
Hey Stuchenstein: What happened to your wtf idea?
Anyone notice the board’s been a bummer today? Quite the opposite of last Friday… maybe Admin and llpoh have been raptured already. Not a peep from them.
And summer looks like it’s started early in colma. Haven’t seen the sun all day.
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20th May 2011 at 9:59 pm
StuckInNJ says:
Colma
I started the WTF thread this morning. Was working on it about 45 minutes, made a mistake, tried to correct it, … and wiped out all my work. Well … screw it then.
WordPress is truly a piece of shit, and I don’t have the time or patience to learn it.
There was an interesting story about scientists who developed a device to communicate with dolphins and about what. My suggestion was to ask Dolphins is they think pussy smells like humans.
Then there was this funny story about some SEC big shot who accessed internet porn alomost 2,000 times in a 60 day period. The article even gave the names of some of the websites he visited!! Like; fuck-my-wife.com, analsins.com, ladyboyjuice.com, trannytits.com … I took the time to review those sites … for the benefit of TBPers, of course …. and I find nothing wrong with them.
The British press had a story of a mother breastfeeding her child ….. who was EIGHT YEARS OLD! I found a you tube vid; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74&feature=related The girl says she likes it because it tastes even better than mangoes. On of the commenters said, “Oh, yeah? Wait until she tries cock.” I thought that was funny.
There was a story about researchers at Rutgers studying orgasims as a way to relieve chronic pain. To which I wondered will the new prescription be; “Take two Aspirins, jerk off three times, and call me in the morning.” It also explains why I have been totally pain-free for the past 40 years.
But WordPress sucks ass. So, screw it.
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20th May 2011 at 10:17 pm
Colma Rising says:
Stuchenspieler: See, now you got me chuckling.
WordPress sucks donkey dick, but we have to deal with it as best we can.
You’re the one who talked of getting word counts via MS word to harrass RE, jus switch it up. Save your work in that format, transfer it.
Again, the last comment got me a roaring with true belly laughter and we ALL need that. We can learn the tricks to word press so Admin doesn’t have to buy snazier formats…
And that his gloating over other substandard (content) site’s inferiority is far more the sweeter remains a beneficial side-effect.
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20th May 2011 at 10:59 pm
Reverse Engineer says:
@Stuck
There are lots of ways around WordPress Hell. Besides using MS Word to compose the text, you can use an online WYSIWYG HTML Editor to trick up the page and make it look how you want, then paste the html into the wordpress editor under the html tab.
Here is a good free online WYSIWYG editor you can try.
http://www.creatingonline.com/webmaster/html_generator.htm
RE
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20th May 2011 at 11:47 pm
Colma Rising says:
Yeah yeah what RE said. There are many avenues to saving work from internet hell.
The countdown is on. What a time to live in! When the rapture is both awaited and scoffed with equal determination.
Oh the fulcrum!
How we await the inevitable, but rightfully admonish specifics!
Such is holy… such is life.
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20th May 2011 at 12:31 am
Reverse Engineer says:
“We can learn the tricks to word press so Admin doesn’t have to buy snazier formats… “-CR
We still need Snazzier formatting, or at least a few more add-on widgets to make the site Perkier. I can make my OP pages look more or less like I would like them to look, but you do need a decent amount of experience with formatting Web Pages to do it. If the native format of the page was better, more people would be able to do that, and would thus be encouraged to contribute.
Wigets I cannot embed that would be helpful are first off a much better Polling function allowing posters to set up Polls asking questions of the readership with numerical accounting and rankings possible for multiple choices. Then a better Search function along with Automated cateloguing of a contributors posts in the menu bar. In my Daily Rants I did this by hand, but it would be easy to automate for a pro like our old buddy Jason. This was stuff I was working on with him before we got Divorced.
There are tons of Blogs going right now, and Good Writing is the MOST important part of getting readership, but to really STAND OUT in the crowd, you need a well formatted site. Zero Hedge is pretty good this way, but still not as good as it could be and the writing has deteriorated there some. The Economic and Sociological Doom Market is still OPEN for an Entrepreneur with the right product to ZOOM to the top.
RE
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20th May 2011 at 1:53 am
Novista says:
If I remember rightly, the original Rapture was to claim 144,000 people. Heaven must have been smaller then, reckon?
On my side of the intl dateline, the 21st is drawing to a close. No word from New Zealand yet.
Poor Stuck. Trapped in his 3D view of the universe. I was hoping to see at least one person fade into the 11th dimension. (I’ve got a little list.)
But. Millerites, c. 1840? Some other dude, officer in the War of Northern Aggression, had an epiphany and later led his flock up the hill to face the dawn and …
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20th May 2011 at 7:11 am
Punk in Drublic says:
Novista
No Rapture down there? Doesn’t surprise me, bunch of sinners and Kangaroo fuckers. A British penal colony might not have any souls worth saving.
About that144,000… That was a long time ago, 144,000 people used to be a lot, these days, not so much. Maybe we need to adjust for inflation…. Call it 1.44 million, still a pretty small percentage of the population and not even the size of a big city.
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20th May 2011 at 8:38 am
StuckInNJ says:
Novista — VERY briefly on the 144,000
1.) Mentioned only in Rev 7 and 14
2.) Specifically, they are 144,000 JEWS … 12,000 from each of the 12 tribes. So, if taken literally not one Gentile ever makes it to Heaven.
3) In Rev 7 John also sees a redeemed people that are a “great multitude, which no man can number”. CLEARLY, there are 144,000 … PLUS a great multitude.
4) As far as I know, only the Jehovah’s Witnesses look at this as a literal number … and consequently via some enormous mental gymnastics and pretzel twisting have convinced themselves that they are the real Jews. But there are several million JW’s so only a small percentage of them make to heaven. Those who don’t make it are not sent to hell though … they live on a glorified earth in glorified bodies forever. Peak Oil will not be a problem either.
5) For about 2,000 years the church viewed this number symbolically. The really weird shit interpretations have only been around the past century or so.
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20th May 2011 at 8:56 am
StuckInNJ says:
Been doin sum thinkin here.
WHAT IF CAMPING IS RIGHT??? WHAT IF THE WORLD ENDS TODAY AT 6PM?????
There are 3 things I’ve always wanted to do before I die.
1. Kill a banker, any banker.
2. Take a shit on my divorce lawyer’s face.
3. Have sexual relations with a sheep.
I think I can do all of them by 6PM. I’ll be back this evening, or will I?
gotta run ……..
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20th May 2011 at 9:04 am
Punk in Drublic says:
I have a question, Stuck.
I thought that Jews did not consider Jesus to be the messiah. Or whatever. They are Old Testament, Jesus is New Testament. How is it that Jews can be Raptured up to heaven if they do not accept that Jesus died for their sins?
A person must accept Jesus into their lives in order to get to heaven, according to the bible, but I didn’t think Jews did this….
Can you explain?
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20th May 2011 at 9:07 am
StuckInNJ says:
Goddammit Punk … don’t you see I have a list of things to do before 6PM? I mean, finding a sheep in central Jersey … you know how fuckin hard that is??
VERY briefly
Jesus was a Jew.
Apostles were Jews.
Paul was a Jew.
John, the author of Revelation, was a Jew.
Jesus’ followers were all Jews (with some rare exceptions).
The New Testament is primarily Jews writing to or about other Jews.
Or stated another way, there was NO RELIGION called “Christianity” at the time the New Testament was written. (Let that sink in, lol)
Were there followers of Christ? Yes, of course … but they were a sect WITHIN the bounds of JUDAISM. There were many sects, or types of Jews back then; Pharisees, Saducees, Essenes, and many others …. and the followers of Christ, all Jews, were just one of those others.
So, your question really is moot.
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20th May 2011 at 9:38 am
Punk in Drublic says:
Thanks for setting me strait, Stuckinasheep.
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20th May 2011 at 10:28 am
Kill Bill says:
So…will SiNJ screw a Ram if he cant find a Sheep.
Enquiring minds,,yanno.
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20th May 2011 at 10:58 am
StuckInNJ says:
Ram, sheep, ewe, kiwi, … whatever,…. if it has curly kinky hair I’m gonna bang it.
(Lakeishafriedchikun doesn’t qualify)
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20th May 2011 at 11:23 am
StuckInNJ says:
Holy Mathshit, Batman!!
Before wandering off to commit some unspeakable act upon the animal kingdom I thought I would take one last look at Harold Camping’s prohecy.
Specifically, I wanted to know HOW he came up with today’s date. This is what I found. Folks, this is NOT a Stucky-funny-post. This is the real deal. Seriously, this is how he came up with the date. Not even I could come up with this shit. OK …
=================================================
1) Jesus was crucified on Friday, April 1, 33 AD
2) It takes exactly 365.2422 days for the earth to complete one orbit of the sun.
3) Therefore, on April 1, 2011, Jesus was crucified exactly 722,449.07 days ago.
4) Add 51 days to this to get to May 1,2011 and you get a figure of 722,500.07.
5) Round that down to the nearest integer, and you get 722,500.
6) This is a very important number. Why? Because it is the square of 5 x 17 x 10 .
7) 5, 17, and 10 are also extremely important numbers. 5 represents atonement. 10 represents completeness. 17 represents heaven. These numbers represent the Gospel in its entirety.
8) If you multiply all these together – twice – and you get 722,500 !!
9) Therefore the apocalypse kicks off on Saturday, May 21.
=================================================
Upon further consideration, evaluation, reflection, analysis, and seeking the Lord’s will regarding Mr. Camping’s mathematical wizardry I have come to the following conclusion that not only will Jesus not return to the fucking earth today …
… but this ain’t gonna happen today either.
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20th May 2011 at 11:41 am
Buckhed says:
Randy “Macho Man” Savage hollered…..Snapp’in into a tree !
I got the Patron chilled,the steaks for the grill and a lady coming over….a little chill and grill is in order…Limes aren’t the only thing getting squeezed tonight !…I’m gonna’ play John Mayer’s ” Wait’in on the world to change” at 5:59pm.
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20th May 2011 at 12:03 pm
Muck About says:
This thread is a riot.
I was going to point out the small problem of 6PM already past on the other side of the dateline but Novi beat me to it, living there and all. Then StiNJ’s math summary complete boiled off any desire I had to make a contribution to this smell, curly haired mess (as pictured above).
I think I’ll be cooking steak on the grill at 6PM Eastern so I can watch the sky just in case..
MA
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20th May 2011 at 12:05 pm
matt says:
It should be called Crapture because this is total bullshit. Today I will go to the gym, ride my Harley, take my wife to a movie and dinner, play board games with my kids, get a little drunk and then try to talk honey into a little action. I just call that Saturday, and if I happen to be here tomorrow I will wash my car and do laundry, bbq a tri-tip, drink some good red wine and then ask honey for a little action because as usual my earlier gesture was declined. I call that Sunday. Hope everyone has a good time doing whatever they want, see you Monday.
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20th May 2011 at 12:24 pm
StuckInNJ says:
Matt — lol .. You think you got it bad? Ms Freud says I can get a little action any day of the week except for those days that end in “y”.
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20th May 2011 at 12:38 pm
Muck About says:
Stuck; That’s the problem with having a really smart wife! She can come up with things like that to block any attempt at having fun.. Persistence with flowers and wine might be the key here!
MA
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20th May 2011 at 12:43 pm
Welshman says:
TBP,
Thank you for keeping MuckAbout 72, and Welsh 68 smiling in our golden years.
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20th May 2011 at 1:09 pm
Surly1 says:
Best thread ever?
Stuckinasheep’s response to Colma has made my day!
\Time to pour some bourbon, light a cigar, put my feet up on the deck and watch the bodies drift skyward…
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20th May 2011 at 2:12 pm
Kill Bill says:
Yahbut did Camping remember to adjust for leap years?
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20th May 2011 at 3:58 pm
ASIG says:
144,000 JEWS, Thats GROSS.
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20th May 2011 at 4:32 pm
Kill Bill says:
Build the Third Temple (Ezekiel 37:26-28).
The jews dont think Jesus was the messiah because he failed to fulfill messianic prophecies.
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20th May 2011 at 4:40 pm
Hope@ZeroKelvin says:
Guess it ain’t gonna happen after all.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110521/ts_nm/us_apocalypse_prediction
No one is answering at this guy’s house or at the place of business.
Betcha that we will find out he ran off with all the cash with a Selma Hayek look-a-like to a country without an extradition agreement with the US!!!!
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20th May 2011 at 4:44 pm
ecliptix543 says:
15 left minutes by my clock. I could totally go for an apocalypse right about now. Last couple of days have SUCKED!!!!!!
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20th May 2011 at 5:45 pm
AKAnon says:
OK, you East-Coasters, WTF? It is 3:00 AK time, you’ve had a full hour and I’m running out of time to repent. Grandkids didn’t even catch any fish. Are you experiencing earthquakes and other-worldly events or not??
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20th May 2011 at 7:04 pm
StuckInNJ says:
The Smiths spend their last dime on Rapture Suits ……….
.
.
… but are unable to answer this question on Monday morning
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_X2BbommL1JU/TLcxTLPrPoI/AAAAAAAAADY/H_lxsCO-vIQ/s1600/what%2Bthe%2Bfuck%2Bhave%2Byou%2Bdone.jpg
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20th May 2011 at 7:05 pm
StuckInNJ says:
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20th May 2011 at 7:06 pm
SSS says:
I’ve just been Raptured. No more Salma Hayek. Instead, I get this to caddy for me (she’s LPGA touring pro Natalie Gulbis). The things I have to put up with.
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20th May 2011 at 7:14 pm
AKAnon says:
Thanks Stuck, that’s all I needed to know. Party on, Garth. BTW, Ma Smith is smokin’, but WTF with the little girl? That ain’t right.
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20th May 2011 at 7:15 pm
AKAnon says:
SSS-You are confusing rapture with erection. There is a difference (I think).
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20th May 2011 at 7:17 pm
Administrator says:
THE LORD TOOK ME UP TO HEAVEN AT 6:00 EST
I’M NOW BLOGGING FROM HEAVEN.
ONE DRAWBACK – I’M NO LONGER ABLE TO CURSE.
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20th May 2011 at 7:26 pm
StuckInNJ says:
“You are confusing rapture with erection. There is a difference (I think).” — AkAnon
Wrong. They are one and the same.
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20th May 2011 at 7:26 pm
Administrator says:
I’M NOT SURE I’M GOING TO LIKE IT UP HERE.
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20th May 2011 at 7:29 pm
StuckInNJ says:
Jim Quinn discovers that even in Heaven, he’s still a Fat Ass
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20th May 2011 at 7:34 pm
AKAnon says:
Stuck-If that “correction” was a sick reference to RE’s reply on “I Don’t Understand”, you are quite mistaken-My rear entries are limited to the female persuasion.
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20th May 2011 at 7:35 pm
SSS says:
Stucky, you speak German, very fluently I believe.
Well, you said, “Ms Freud says I can get a little action any day of the week except for those days that end in y.” I’d tell Ms. Freud that you’ve always thought of and referred to the days of the week by their German words. You know, Montag, Dienstag, and so on.
If this tip works, you owe me big time.
AKAnon
I do occasionally get confused between erection and rapture. Doesn’t bother me, though.
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20th May 2011 at 7:37 pm
AKAnon says:
Admin-Damn, I think I’d rather tough it out back here, earthquakes & all. BTW, didn’t that Iceland volcano erupt right about its local 6:00 time? Oh shit….
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20th May 2011 at 7:38 pm
StuckInNJ says:
sss — THAT”S BRILLIANT THINKING!!!
But, Ms. Freud, smartass that she is, will probably add the letter “g” to the list. But that’s OK. She don’t know no German. That still leaves me Mittwoch (Wednesday). Ha! She has no idea of the coming shitstorm this Mittwoch.
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20th May 2011 at 8:00 pm
AKAnon says:
Wednesday ain’t called “hump day” for nothing. Good luck with that.
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20th May 2011 at 8:23 pm
Reverse Engineer says:
Looks like he was RIGHT after all! He didn’t say it would happen all in one day, just that it would BEGIN on May 21st. It BEGAN in Iceland! LOL.
RE
Iceland’s Grimsvotn volcano erupting
May 22, 2011
Volcano erupts in IcelandREYKJAVIK, Iceland — Iceland’s most active volcano has started erupting, scientists said Saturday — just over a year after another eruption on the North Atlantic island shut down European air traffic for days. Iceland’s Meteorological Office confirmed that an eruption had begun at the Grimsvotn volcano, accompanied by a series of small earthquakes. Smoke could be seen rising from the volcano, which lies under the Vatnajokull glacier in southeast Iceland. Grimsvotn last erupted in 2004. Scientists have been expecting a new eruption and have said previously that this volcano’s eruption will likely be small and should not lead to the air travel chaos caused in April 2010 by ash from the Eyjafjallajokul volcano.
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20th May 2011 at 2:44 am
Colma Rising says:
A little volcano in Iceland wasn’t what the poor fools who bought this shit had in mind…
“Tuter said Family Radio’s AM station in Sacramento had been “severely vandalized” Friday night or Saturday morning, with air conditioning units yanked out and $25,000 worth of copper stripped from the equipment. He thinks it must have been an angry listener. He was off Saturday but planned to drive past the headquarters “and make sure nothing’s burning.”
(from http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-rapture-20110522,0,5118540.story)
At least there’s no suicides so far… so far. The poor fool in NY must be hanging his head low.
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20th May 2011 at 3:31 am
Reverse Engineer says:
@CR
No doubt, the dude who spent his Life Savings on posters proclaiming May 21st as Doomsday has to be feeling pretty low right now. Putting all your Chips on one Number on the Roulette Wheel of Armageddon is a VERY dicey bet. Even worse, you don’t WIN anything even if you get it right! LOL.
As for me, I would never bet a penny on calling Doomsday. Unless I was a Mayan and Doomsday was a Millenia into the future and I would be long dead before the Prophecy came true or false of course. Much safer to bet on stuff that will happen long after you are pushing up daisies.
Then again, SOMEDAY, Doomsday will most certainly come. 12/21/2012? Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You. LOL.
RE
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20th May 2011 at 3:47 am
Colma Rising says:
RE:
Christmas dinner 2012 will be a riot… I’m sure all will be scoffing another date passed, myself included…
That’s not to say the roast won’t be local game cooked over a burning tire, mind you… that’s always a possibility.
Predicting doomsday with accuracy is like isolating an electron. It’s there, but when it comes to specifics, well… funny how certainty is so elusive.
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20th May 2011 at 3:55 am
Colma Rising says:
(From http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/christian-movement-eats-last-meals-says-goodbye-preparing-for-end-of-days-on-saturday/2011/05/21/AFD01J8G_story.html)
*In New York’s Times Square, Robert Fitzpatrick, of Staten Island, said he was surprised when the six o’clock hour simply came and went. He had spent his own money to put up advertising about the end of the world.
“I can’t tell you what I feel right now,” he said, surrounded by tourists. “Obviously, I haven’t understood it correctly because we’re still here.”*
It may be too soon to celebrate the lack of suicides. The “now silent” preacher could very well be a swinging corpse in a tax=free bible study room…
Or more likely a new resident in Buenos Aires… just another gringo with a stick-on beard?
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20th May 2011 at 4:10 am
Reverse Engineer says:
@CR
Well, if it is a Pidgeon roasted over a Burning Tire on 12/21/2012, one could say that May 21st, 2011 began it all. Defining the MOMENT of Collapse is a difficult thing. Maybe Collapse really began on November 22, 1963? Or perhaps it was on August 15th, 1971? Or perhaps it was on September 11th, 2001? Or perhaps the day I got my Wake Up Call, July 16th, 2007?
IMHO, whatever the date it was that got the Collapse Rolling here in earnest, it is long since past already. If we get some major Geological Events occuring here, that is Icing on the Cake, but we are well on our way now down the Collapse Highway already. You cannot call the Collapse aymore, it already happenned.
From here on in it is at best a gradual disintegration of everything we have known to be true in our lifetimes. It is likely this descent will be punctuated by ever bigger Black Swans, any one of which could be considered Doomsday. They are not. They are manifstations of a Doomsday that already came and went. There is no climbing back up out of this mess now, there is only at best The Long Emergency, as Jimmy Kunstler puts it. Unlikely though we smoothly devolve to anarchy without something REALLY BIG coming down the pipe. Something BIG is Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You. Predicting the DATE on that is a losing proposition, but the Writing is on the Wall. In fact it has been on the Wall since at least December 23, 1913.
RE
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20th May 2011 at 4:33 am
subzero says:
Some good comments on this thread. Still a lot of fools out there in the world.
Personally, I don’t believe in the ‘rapture’. We are all responsible in one way or another for the mess we made of this planet. No one can live without contributing in some way. Recognizing that fact is, I believe, part of what is supposed to make us hate ‘the world’. Clearly, we are destroying the planets ecosystems.
“And the nations were angry, and thy wrath is come, and the time of the dead, that they should be judged, and that thou shouldest give reward unto thy servants the prophets, and to the saints, and them that fear thy name, small and great; and shouldest destroy them which destroy the earth.” Rev 11:18 KJB
So, according to the Bible, God is going to destroy those destroying the earth. Clearly, only God has the knowledge and power to restore the earth. Any sane person can see the truth. Laugh all you want, BUT;
“He hath made the earth by his power, he hath established the world by his wisdom, and hath stretched out the heaven by his understanding.” Jeremiah 51:15 KJB
Defining ‘power’ we have: “In physics, power is the rate at which work is performed or energy is converted.” as the first sentence here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_%28physics%29 . So power is equivalent to energy converted to work. Note here: http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Particle_accelerator that “At the high speed created in these machines, some of the movement energy is turned into matter. It is the reverse (opposite) process that atomic weapons use. This being when matter is turned into energy.” So a particle accelerator creates matter from energy and energy equates to power. Of course, it takes WISDOM to manage this awesome power to create matter from energy which we, humans, CLEARLY LACK.
Again, I don’t claim to have any answers but I do have a lot of questions and I am very concerned. Even if we humans could all get on the same page how can we ‘fix’ anything when we don’t even know what is broken? Do you really believe we can recreate any of these animals http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_extinct_animals_of_North_America and place them back into their natural ecosystems? That is ABSURD.
So, if you don’t believe in God, get used to a dying planet. I will place my faith in a Creator that clearly knows what He has done and plans to do in the future. I will seek information from different sources
http://www.sacred-texts.com/bib/fbe/fbe005.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3RJMR5ceHU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6eNRC-9HN8&feature=related
outside my comfort zone. It doesn’t mean I have to believe it all but clearly a lot has yet to be revealed. Meanwhile, a lot has been revealed:
“Proverbs 17:15 “He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the Lord.” The whole purpose of government is to punish evil and to reward good, and so to encourage right living, (Rom. 13:1-4; 1 Tim. 1:8-10). So, to justify the wicked or to condemn the righteous is to tend to the overthrow of all government by the encouraging of evil and the discouraging of good acts. For any person, but especially for a ruler, to justify the wicked is to show one’s heart to be really with the wicked, and so that it is not a righteous, God-fearing heart. Because he is perfect holiness, God cannot but hate all wickedness, in whomever it is found. He will not align Himself with sinners: sinners must align themselves with Him.
Proverbs 17:16 “Wherefore is there a price in the hand of a fool to get wisdom, seeing he hath no heart to it?” Wealth is given to us by God in order that by its help we may advance in piety and wisdom. Money will obtain the help of teachers, both the living and the dead—viz., good and pious books—and other helps…but wealth without the heart, or teachable, humble, God-fearing mind, is of no avail for acquiring wisdom,” [Faussett]. It is the practice of many to go to college, not to learn, but only to get a degree, while one continues to hold on to his original preconceptions and prejudices. The difference in a fool and a wise man is that a fool forms his ideas, then studies for facts to substantiate them, while the wise man studies to learn the truth, bringing all his ideas to the touchstone “Is it in harmony with the truth?””
which are excerpts from here http://www.pbministries.org/Landmark_Baptist/Seminary/Bible_Study_Courses/Proverbs/DH_proverbs_chap17.htm
I think not trying to understand is a big mistake. I’d rather succeed and then fail than to fail without experiencing God’s mercy. Look around. Beauty is everywhere even now. Imagine this world as the pristine place it was when God said:
“And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, [it was] very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.” Gen 1:31 KJB
So maybe we are in the end times. I don’t know. We could be. What are the signs?
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20th May 2011 at 10:06 am
LJ says:
I’m sure God’s shaking his/her head right now – It’s a shame that people are waiting for the end when they should be living the life they have at this moment. God’s primary plan for us it to LIVE in our moment and make him/her proud by giving back to life. It’s a shame that people are driven by fear instead of hope.
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20th May 2011 at 6:58 pm