Obama’s computer is lighting up like a Christmas tree. Hundreds of thousands concerned citizens want to form their own country, or at least their own states. The petitions are burning up the hard drive of Obama’s computer. He keeps trying to delete the petitions, like he deleted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, but it’s not working. Meanwhile, some clever hackers got a snapshot of his desktop. Enjoy!
CLASSIFIED: SCREENSHOT OF OBAMA’S DESKTOP
You may wonder why Dear Leader hasn’t yet upgraded to Vista or Windows 8, but the fact is, all White House computers are running the outmoded 2008 Hope’N'Change Operating System, which is incompatible with any private sector software.
However, a team of unionized government programmers are selflessly toiling to improve its performance. The custom-made programs include AlibiMaker, FatwaGenerator, RigTheVote2012, and others.
An interactive animated character named Screwy sees everything you do and offers unsolicited advice based on Keynesian algorithms.
The system is using advanced error reporting. Each report is thoroughly reviewed by a concerned government expert.
If you continue to experience grievances, you will see the following alert, which you must also submit.
If all fails, yet another alert will fill you with hope that change is still possible.
As the future systems will be streamlined to satisfy the lowest common denominator, future government alerts will look as follows:
An error message I got after Nov. 6th:
AWD says:
Hopey-Changey Thanks0bama Redistribution Day, Comrades!
We have much to be thankful to Lord Caesar 0bama for indeed! Thanks be to Him, the KKKapitalist Goose that laid the Golden Eggs is choked and will be cooked for most equal redistribution among us Progs, The People™!
Yes, Hopey-Changey Thanks0bama Redistribution Day is a bit longer title than the former KKKapitalist “Thanksgiving Day”, but that is correctly expected when our Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ Government increases efficiency.
Plus, it more accurately reflects what we’re really celebrating.
The Golden-Egg laying Goose is Choked (and will soon be cooked in place of Big Bird)
During Thanksgiving, as American toiling masses traditionally give thanks to the government for what it has distributed to them, all conscientious members of community are required to experience the following emotions:
(a) deep gratitude to the government for letting them live;
(b) utter unworthiness compared to the magnanimity of the state;
(c) everlasting guilt for consuming what they have not produced, as well as for not giving back to the community according to their abilities.
If you do not experience said emotions, you are not a conscientious member of community and shall be disposed of according to the Party Manual (Page 894, Paragraph 5) with all your belongings confiscated by the state and redistributed to the more worthy members according to their needs.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
8 
0
18th November 2012 at 5:17 pm
AWD says:
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
16 
0
18th November 2012 at 5:21 pm
AWD says:
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
10 
0
18th November 2012 at 5:33 pm
JIMSKI says:
When you post an article and the first response is yours it is sad. When the first 3 are you, well, kind of a cry for help.
Not that i do not agree 100%.
Like or Dislike:
3 
4
18th November 2012 at 6:21 pm
AWD says:
jimski
Thanks for the #4 comment. Admin’s out, you’re gonna have to take what you can get. I make no claims to be relevant or intelligent. I just post whatever the fuck I want. When the cat’s away, the mice will play. Usually we have posts of naked women. Thanks for reminding me.
You’re an angry and depressed person aren’t you? maybe not. Depression is anger turned inwards.
It could also mean I didn’t want to post everything at once. Most blog readers/posters have short attention spans.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
17 
0
18th November 2012 at 6:28 pm
AWD says:
Colma and Stucky used to be relied upon to post a few pictures of women when Admin was away, and maybe one or two Selmas by SSS.
This post was about technology:
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
12 
0
18th November 2012 at 6:35 pm
llpoh says:
AWD – thanks for carrying the flag during Admin’s absence! Well done!
And a special one from me:
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
11 
0
18th November 2012 at 6:41 pm
AWD says:
I’m no admin. I wish I could off my ass and write something original. I still like the classics….
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
15 
0
18th November 2012 at 7:06 pm
John A says:
Dr. Barbara Bellar made the best summation of Obamacare. So let me get this straight:
“We are going to be gifted with a healthcare plan that we are forced to purchase, and fined if we don’t, which reportedly covers 10 million more people without adding a single new doctor, but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents, written by a committee whose chairman doesn’t understand it, passed by Congress that didn’t read it but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a president who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes, for which we will be taxed for four years before any benefits take effect, by a government which has bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese and financed by a country that is broke. So what the blank could possibly go wrong?”
http://www.newsmax.com/BradleyBlakeman/Obamacare-Sentence-Bellar-Romney/2012/10/05/id/458885
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
6 
0
18th November 2012 at 7:08 pm
Stucky says:
AWD
You’re doing a hell of a job. The Obama desktop pic is a real hoot.
The same day Admin left I get a call from my mom. My dad fell off a ladder, fortunately just from the 2nd step, but still a long fall for a 90 year old man. Put a good sized gash on his right ear.
The x-rays showed no fractures. But, then they wanted to do a CAT scan. The day after the scan the doc calls us and says he also wants an MRI. He said the docs could not determine if my dad had a hairline hip fracture … that an MRI would clear up the question. He said it is very very crucial my dad come in for it … that a hairline fracture, if it’s there is a relatively easy fix. If it is there and it goes untreated there is a possibility, he said, for a MAJOR surgery, if things get worse. Of course, my stubborn old man at this point refuses to go … says he feels OK … and that the doctors are just out to scam him out of more money. I am at a loss … and, very very concerned. I’ve been hounding him to go, unsuccessfully so far. Plus, I’ve been shuttling back and forth to help my mother.
Also, yesterday I decided to remove the huge branch that came down during Sandy. Well … it didn’t come completely down … it was hanging on by a few wood fibers. Make a long story short …. I miscalculated a cut, and the branch came crashing down on my shoulder. Lots of pain. Went to MediMerge 24-hour emergency place …. dislocated right shoulder. I’m fine now. I felt orgasmic once it popped back into place.
So, you will have to post naked women pics all on your own. Not that I can’t do something so simple …. but I am right handed and I wouldn’t be able to pound the bologna afterwards.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
12 
0
18th November 2012 at 7:09 pm
llpoh says:
Stuck – take care of your father. My wife lost both of her grandfathers to falls. Both suffered knocks to the head, both refused to go to the doctor, both were dead within a few hours. They were about the same age as your dad, and were in 100% good health. Old folks do not suffer falls well. Good luck. good luck with your shoiulder, too.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
12 
0
18th November 2012 at 7:17 pm
AWD says:
Stucky,
Your pop needs the MRI, sorry. Hip fractures often don’t show up until you do an MRI. Convince him to do, maybe use the “no radiation” angle. If the fracture doesn’t heal properly, he’d be looking at a hip replacement, a large surgery. He should stay off it until he gets the MRI. Free advice, do with it what you will. Shoulder dislocations are a drag.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
9 
2
18th November 2012 at 7:20 pm
JIMSKI says:
AWD
Please excuse my duchebag post. I blame it on a 2 year old oak stump which has wasted my whole day and a 1/4 cord of wood and is not 1/2 burnt. Shit is like iron and has left me in a mood.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
9 
0
18th November 2012 at 8:12 pm
llpoh says:
Jimski – that sounds like … like … like… an APOLOGY! Holy mother of God! I am not sure that has EVER happened on TBP before.
I need a drink and to go lie down. That is just too much for my aged brain to absorb. It is just so unheard of… so unexpected…. so out of place….
Maybe I have entered an alternate reality. This cannot be TBP that I know.
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
18th November 2012 at 8:25 pm
SAH says:
@AWD – possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on TBP.
@Stucky – feel better. I’ll drink too much bourbon for you right now, not that it will help you feel better, but it will make my Monday morning very shitty, so maybe the Schadenfreude will lift your spirits.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
6 
0
18th November 2012 at 1:18 am
ron says:
Most excellant post! funny stuff. Yep my uncle didnt last long after he broke his hip.We were told it does a lot of folks in.Actually he broke one ,got better fell and broke the other one than said fck it and gave up on living.
Yes hot women make you glad to be alive.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
6 
0
18th November 2012 at 2:07 am
Eddie says:
A little humor isn’t a bad thing. Keep it up AWD. Likewise on the tech photos. Highly inspirational.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
5 
0
18th November 2012 at 9:51 am
Kill Bill says:
Hey Stucky, next time try flopping your moobs over your shoulder BEFORE cutting the limb.
=)
Anyway, hope your oscar mayer doesnt get lonely while you recuperate!
Wid Luv, Bill
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
18th November 2012 at 4:07 pm
Kill Bill says:
Well, now I know what AWDS patients DO NOT look like in any way,
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
18th November 2012 at 4:08 pm