Of course Jesus would park his van at Walmart, because he probably saw our site and realized he could cut down on time and save soooo many souls in one place!
You haven’t lived until you have walked around Walmart with a monkey’s vagina touching you neck. Yeah, it’s gross, but you people need to think about that so people stop doing this crap. They aren’t birds, you’ve got monkey genitals all up on your face!
Some pirates looking for booty are gonna be in for quite the surprise when they find these black spots marked for a pirate’s death! (Shout out to Muppets Treasure Island for that bit of knowledge.)
Are me and Eric Cartman the only ones that get annoyed by modern day hippies? There truly is no point to them whatsoever, unless the point is to look weird and smell all sorts of funny.
I guess this isn’t technically a “Who Wears It Better?” unless I suppose I ask you which cart wears it’s lazy bitch better? Yeah, I guess that could work. Who wears it better?
Ahh yes, #3 in the pervert playbook: The Upskirt! So which under booty bottom biscuit would you put on the books?
This guy couldn’t look anymore like a rat if he was in the middle of narcing on John Gotti.
Hey people, just a quick reminder, patterns don’t typically go together very well. Just because it’s a nice shirt and those are nice pants does not automatically let them combine to make a nice outfit. I mean, nothing in here is working on its own, but even if it did that would apply. That’s all I’m saying. Anywho, I’d like you guys to pick which one of these screwed the pooch the least.
Looks like we got ourselves a couple of bitches here that just love to bitch about other bitches. Also, my dog is a bitch and I can’t really think of any other ways to use the word bitch…bitch.
Alright people, we haven’t given anything away for a while so let’s change that. Funniest pickup line wins either a copy of our new book or calendar, your choice. GOOOOOOOO!
No use actually buying toilet paper when you’re just gonna let it air dry. Either have poor hygiene or poor fiscal responsibility, not both.
Everyone say hello to Brandon from MTV’s True Life: “Addicted to Porn”. *This is where you all say hello in unison like an intervention* Anyway, not sure whether or not Brandon is still addicted to porn or not because I haven’t watched anything on MTV since 1998. Do we have any porn addicts out there who just happen to be browsing our site during a down time?
Remember guys, if you ever find yourself terribly lost in this horrific neck of the woods you can always find your way out by following the North Star.
Plot: Smokey meets a VW bug, accidentally knocks her up, gets behind on child support, gets some gambling debt and then his sciatica starts acting up.
I was gonna yell at this dude for his complete disregard for personal space but then I realized any girl that wears see-through lace pants doesn’t really have “personal space”.
Don’t worry, your ass in white yoga pants definitely does not look like mashed potatoes. Nope. Not at all. I don’t know what to tell you, I’m not sure why that girl has a bowl of gravy.
Your hair looks like something they find buried under a hoarder’s couch.