President Obama has achieved something amazing. He’s made more people dependent on the government and taxpayers than any other leader in history. Accordingly, he is also trying to subvert the Constitution and Bill of Rights, and has, in fact, drafted a new declaration: The Declaration of Dependance. It will replace the outdated Declaration of Independence, and better speaks to the 128 million Americans in their current state of Welfare, disability, subsidies, hand-outs, and unlimited unemployment benefit-vacations. We’re all dependent now: Those taking our taxes, and those making our taxes (and debt). Forward!
Obama Inauguration Proclaims Declaration of Dependence
In his Second Inauguration, President Obama proclaims the Declaration of Dependence to Inaugurate the Untied States of America to henceforth be untied to the static, unimaginative philosophy of Eighteenth Century Males who were utterly lacking in mynhood.
Hereafter, instead of mindlessly seeking to be a nation of laws in the form of written principles in the Constitution governing three branches of government in a way to prevent one branch usurping the powers of the others and of the people, we shall follow the Modern Path of seeking to be a nation Dependent upon a Living Constitution addressed to “Ye the People” and embodied in the Minds of Our Beloved Leaders who are blessed with the Wisdom to best know what principles ought to be deemed most important at any given time without being “wedded” (a now obsolete societal concept anyway) to the antiquated views of Eighteenth Century Males. People to the Power!
The Declaration of Dependence:
In Washington, D.C., January 21, 2013.
Declaration of Dependence for Inhabitants of the Untied States of America:
When in the Course of Humyn events, it become necessary for one persyn to dissolve the political bondage to the dictates of ancient, white Euro-Centric Male Landowners, which dictates have heretofore enslaved the Modern Inhabitants of that part of what once was the Northern/Western remnant of the Pre-European-Invasion Super-Continent of Pangea, and to assume among the powers of Nature, the equal status to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s Good and Proper Clause entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of Humyns requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the dissolution.
We hold it to be self-evident that all modern humyns are endowed with unalienable Ruth by the Obamanator, that among these are: Loaf, Libating, and the Happiness of Pursuit of the Obamanator’s Goals.– That to secure these Rites, Obama was elected by the Modern Humyns thereby deriving his just powers from the con of the governed, — That whenever any Status of Liberty becomes disharmonious with such Rites, it is the Rite of the People to relinquish such status and to institute new Rites laying their foundation on principles of Collective Harmony and organizing such Rites in such manner as to Obama shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Therefore, the Dead Constitution drafted by the now-dead Euro-Centric Males is hereby replaced with the Living Constitution, which can only speak through the wise lips of its Prophet, Obama, or such Administrators as He may appoint to implement his Will.
To that End, the new, Living Constitution shall begin by addressing “Ye the People” with the command to comport themselves at all times in harmony with Nature’s Will as Revealed by Obama (or by such Administrators as He may from time to time appoint as Interpreters thereof). The Agency heretofore primarily responsible for such interpretations under the pseudonym “Environmental Protection Agency” shall henceforth be known by its true name and mission as the “Environmental Perfection Agency.” The agency heretofore pseudonymically known as the Center for Disease Control shall henceforth be known as the Center for Diagnostic Categorization to identify and classify for re-education those people still afflicted with the mental burdens of outdates precepts of seeking individual progress at the expense uniformly collective progress or the mental burdens of obsessive, irrational notions of a need for possession of weaponry for protection, which irrational fears spring from their heretical views that the Collective may be unable to protect them from other mentally unbalanced inhabitants.
Finally, to promote Peace and Harmony throughout all lands of the Earth, the Department of Defense will be replaced by a bigger, better-funded Civilian National Security Force which will steadfastly resist fear-mongering claims by the not-yet-re-educated inhabitants that other powers on Earth may pose threats to the security of our Collective, and we Hereby Declare that Henceforth we are the Untied States of America — Untied to the Dead, Eurocentric Males who lacked Mynhood.
Among the most important accomplishments of this Declaration of Dependence is that it replaces the outmoded concept of individual “rights” to act autonomously with the modern concept of “Rites” involving the duty of inhabitants of the Untied States of America to scrupulously follow prescriptions and obey proscriptions of their leaders to experience the benefit of things to which they can thereby be deemed “entitled” and to thereby enjoy the Happiness of Pursuit of the Collective Good as described from time to time by President Obama (or whomever he may designate as his Administrative Assistant for such purposes).
As was most insightfully stated by leaders of Organizers for Obama, now to be known as Organizers for Action, “We are all little siblings now”: