Administration Finds Deficit Reduction in Obesity
The Obama Administration, in response to Republican alarmists worried that Social Security is insolvent and the increasing US deficit, has found that the rising tide of obesity in America will likely reduce the overall burden on the retirement system as obese Americans are likely to die 12 years earlier than the national average.
As the life expectancy of Americans decreases, so too will demands for pensions, which will not only save Social Security but nearly eliminate the government’s future debt obligations.
“This is a mega-boon for the White House,” said Martin Findgold, budgetary analyst for the Center of Applied Obamanomics. “All we have to do is make sure that the Affordable Healthcare Act applies a conditional treatment program for Americans who abuse their bodies, and life expectancies will plunge. A 12-year decrease in pension and benefits obligations will balance the budget without any type of program cuts, just as the President has been insisting on.”
Actual measures to control lifestyle modification have failed miserably in polling, and so White House strategists are looking at the problem in an entirely new way. Rather than trying to get citizens to abandon their unhealthy lifestyles, the government may start encouraging citizens to do what they want in exchange for waiving their rights to medical treatment under Obamacare.
Following the newly-proposed Federal guidelines, cigarettes and food will carry new warnings not only about content, but also about the possibilities that consuming the particular item will result in an automatic disqualification from medical coverage under the Affordable Healthcare Act. Labels may also be used if the Administration decides that other risky behaviors, like extreme sports or firearms accidents, are also not covered.
“All of our polling suggests Americans want universal healthcare coverage for everyone, except those who don’t deserve it,” said Findgold. “By using focus groups, the Department of Health and Human Services is pretty certain they can find out who the public doesn’t want covered, and so the White House can reinterpret the Act in such a way that those undeserving people won’t be treated.”
By withholding treatment, Findgold sees that public attitudes can help reduce the deficit alone, without the need for further legislation. He emphasized that it is all the more important to implement Obamacare as a cost-saving plan.
“We can see that by the President and the American people working together, without interference from Congress, the US deficit will be greatly reduced over the next 20 years,” Findgold said. “If we can get the lifespan of Americans down to the same rates as Haiti or Eritrea, we may actually see a budget surplus.”
First Lady Michelle Obama is reappraising her campaign for healthier food choices for Americans, and is looking at starting a new dietary campaign featuring high-fat foods and use of tobacco products. Findgold said he expects President Obama to be in full favor of such changes.

The Costs Of Obesity
Reuters | Posted: 04/30/2012
By Sharon Begley
April 30 (Reuters) – The incidence of obesity in the United States has soared from 13 percent to 34 percent over the last 50 years, while the percentage of Americans who are extremely or “morbidly” obese has rocketed from 0.9 percent to 6 percent.
Although the epidemic of obesity is well-known, the costs are not — and in many cases are significantly greater than estimated even a few years ago. Some examples of obesity’s economic impact:
* $190 billion in annual medical costs due to obesity, double earlier estimates.
* $1,850 more per year in medical costs for an overweight person than for someone of healthy weight, among employees at the Mayo Clinic and their adult dependents. $3,086 more per year in medical costs for a Mayo worker with a body mass index (BMI) of 35 to 40.
* $5,530 more per year in medical costs for a Mayo worker with a BMI above 40. By comparison, smokers’ medical costs were only $1,274 a year higher than nonsmokers’, who generally die earlier.
* $5 billion annually for additional jet fuel needed to fly heavier Americans, compared to fuel needed at 1960 weights.
* $4 billion annually for additional gasoline as cars carry heavier passengers.
* $1,026: annual cost of absenteeism per very obese male worker (BMI > 40). $1,262: Annual cost of absenteeism per very obese female worker.
* $277: annual cost of absenteeism per mildly obese (BMI 25 to 29.9) male worker.
* $407: annual cost of absenteeism per mildly obese female worker.
* $1,056: cost of a “bariatric chair,” able to hold 500 pounds.
* $1,049: cost of a bariatric toilet rated at 700 pounds.










Makati1 says:
Hmm. Well, I think the system is going to collapse and the obesity problem will melt away (pun intended). So will all of the social safety nets making it possible. The lack of meds will also take out a large proportion of others that need them to live. Diabetics, heart problems, immunizations, etc. Then there are those that need meds to cope with life. More suicides/going postal in the future, but guns will make that easier.
Any projection for 20 years out that uses the past as a gauge for the future is way wrong. This time, there is no history to repeat itself. We are in brand new territory. We are not a regional empire dying, we are a whole world dying. There is no place to go to to escape. There is no other country to bail us out. There is no tech miracle in the wings waiting to save us. We have doomed our species to extinction and we will take the rest of the ecology with us.
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27th January 2013 at 9:50 pm
Outtahere says:
Just a little pessimistic there Makati 1. While there is going to be global reset and there will be a thinning of the herd, those that survive will be stronger, better and smarter for having gone through it and survived. I do agree that using any metrics from the past is useless because we are in uncharted waters from here on out and everyone is going to have to adjust as best they can depending on how mentally, physically, financially and socially prepared they are.
I used to laugh at the “Zombie” concept, but the more I think about it and what could/will happen to anyone living in any metropolitan area the more I tend to agree that they will end up wandering around like Zombies because they are not going to be prepared for what’s heading their way unless they have plans to haul ass out of the city somewhere to a safer place with friends/relatives elsewhere.
BUT, the species will survive. That’s what we do!
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27th January 2013 at 10:44 pm
Dorkus Maximus says:
How come it’s alway a white guy (usually middle aged) when it’s a vice/character flaw/”bad thing” being depicted? Of course that’s a rhetical question.
We bend triple backwards to depict every “minority” imaginable when it involves something positive, but old Whitey still gets a monopoly on being the one doing Very Bad Things.
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27th January 2013 at 10:52 am
anotherjuan says:
Makati1better take some omega 6 to snap out of it.
Dorkus M – we know blacks have high rates of colon cancer, hispanics (those of us who are more indian than white) suffer from diabetes. in the 70′s it used to be a joke that hispanics had lower rates of cancer because they couldn’t spell carcinoma. today, sadly, we have caught up to “whitey”.
incidentally, we do not use the term whitey, cracker, stumpjumper, or any of that stuff. i have heard my compadres say, gringo, anglo, americano, guero and in san antonio, boliyo in reference to any light skinned person of euopean extraction.
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27th January 2013 at 12:23 am