Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize
Jagland, flanked by the other four members of the Committee, said they’d never before asked for the return of a Peace Prize, “even from a damnable war-criminal like Kissinger,” but that the 10% drawdown in US troops in Afghanistan the President announced last week capped a period of “non-Peace-Prize-winner-type behavior” in 2011. “Guantanamo’s still open. There’s bombing Libya. There’s blowing bin Laden away rather than putting him on trial. Now a few US troops go home, but the US will be occupying Afghanistan until 2014 and beyond. Don’t even get me started on Yemen!”
The Committee awarded Obama the coveted prize in 2009 after he made a series of speeches in the first months of his presidency, which convinced the Peace Prize Committee that he was: “creating a new climate of…multilateral diplomacy…an emphasis on the role of the United Nations…of dialogue and negotiations as instruments for resolving international conflicts…and a vision of world free of nuclear arms.”
“Boy oh boy!” added Jagland. “Did we regret that press release!”
But, he revealed the committee members were all “legless drunk” the day they voted, as it was the start of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The “totally toasted” members listened over and over to replays of Obama’s Cairo speech, tearing up and drinking shots to the glorious future: a black man leading America and the world into a new era of peace, hope and goodwill. “For a few hours we were all 18 year-old students again at the beautiful, occasionally sunny University of Bergen! Oh, how we cried for joy!”
The chairman said the committee weren’t “going to be pills” about getting the Prize back because they still “basically really liked” Mr. Obama and that sending it back in a plain package by regular mail would fine if it would save him the embarrassment of a public return. But added Jagland, “things could get nasty” if the committee didn’t see it by the time they announce the new Peace Prize winner in the fall. He and the committee then excused themselves to resume their celebration of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival.
The White House had no comment. It later announced an aggressive new covert CIA initiative to identify and apprehend Al Qaeda operatives in Scandinavia.
Welshman says:
Where is the onion?
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17th February 2013 at 10:24 am
Steve Hogan says:
Yeah, where is the onion?
To be accurate, the committee voted in February 2009, although they didn’t announce their decision until months later. So, in effect, they awarded the prize to a man that had been in office for a month. For the first time I can think of, they gave the prize to someone for what they’d HOPE he would do, not what he had already achieved.
They have forever tarnished what was once a meaningful award.
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17th February 2013 at 11:34 am
Randa says:
“We must always approach Obama with a view of treachery.” ~ Webster Tarpley
I say give Obama’s ill-gotten Nobel Peace Prize to Jim Garrison (yes, even though he already has one) for exposing psychobama for his constant-order taking from China. Not that I have anything against China, but I do have a list of Obama lies including the fact that he has not even READ “Dreams of my Father” or whatever it’s called. The book he supposedly wrote.
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17th February 2013 at 12:47 pm
IndenturedServant says:
Steve Hogan said:
“They have forever tarnished what was once a meaningful award.”
They did that before Obama came along. Look up Irena Sendler, read her story and then look at who beat her out for the Peace Prize. It’s enough to make you puke. Alfred Nobel would likely dynamite the prize committee himself if he were still alive!
I_S
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17th February 2013 at 2:04 pm
Eddie says:
Not to mention Watson and Crick, who got the Nobel in 1962 for work on DNA largely pioneered by the late Rosalind Franklin, whose giant contribution was ignored while they got famous.
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17th February 2013 at 2:11 pm
AWD says:
Hey, he can kill Mexicans, Diplomats, Pakistanis, Yemenis, Afghans, Iraqis, and even Americans. He does kill innocent children, their parents, their dogs. He gives AR’s to drug lords, supports Islam, gives billions to Israel and Egypt. He’s not a war criminal, He’s a great guy, and deserves a couple a more Nobel prizes. They might as well put em in cereal boxes.
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17th February 2013 at 4:02 pm
ARIZONA says:
COME ON GUYS,norweagens are famous for not having a brain in their head,think I’am kidding,LOOK at all the pass WAR CRIMINALS who have gotten “PIECE PRIZES” I can’t say peace because war criminals don’t have a peaceful bone in their body,and norway had better watch out,because giving the prize to the anti-christ,and then wanting it back could result in OBAMA bombing norway right off the map,and I’ve read the BIBLE and it don’t say anything about the anti-christ being peaceful at all,as a matter of fact,HE’S anything but peaceful,considering the bible says he becomes the most destructive person in history,and causes the death of billions of people,and it wouldn’t bother him in the lest to bomb norway right off the map…….they need to go back to what they do best, and thats to forget about obama and just keep handing out prizes to war criminals…………………………..
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17th February 2013 at 8:41 pm
NOBEL COMMITTEE ASKS FOR PEACE PRIZE BACK~ OBAMA NOT WORTHY! | GEOENGINEERED WORLD says:
[...] NOBEL COMMITTEE ASKS FOR PEACE PRIZE BACK [...]
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17th February 2013 at 1:39 pm