I read this story in my local paper this morning and couldn’t help but chuckle. Our country is so fucked up that you just have to laugh at this shit. The thought of the spokesmodel for The Heart Attack Grille dying of a heart attack while waiting for a bus in front of the restaurant is more delicious than a Triple Bypass Burger. You don’t get what you expect. You get what you deserve.
America’s famed ‘Heart Attack Grill’ claims another victim
February 17, 2013 in Cardiology
The Heart Attack Grill, the Las Vegas restaurant whose slogan proudly boasts that its artery-clogging fare is “worth dying for,” appears to have claimed another victim.
Less than two years after its unofficial spokesman, 575-pound Blair River, died of health-related causes, another loyal customer succumbed to a heart attack while standing at a bus stop in front of the establishment.
John Alleman, 52—who like River served as a public face of the restaurant—was taken off life support earlier this week, three days after suffering his heart attack, according to the Las Vegas Sun newspaper.
Alleman, who worked as a security guard, was the inspiration for the “Patient John” caricature that adorns grill’s menu and merchandise.
Unlike his predecessor as the eatery’s unofficial mascot, Alleman was a relatively trim 180 pounds—proof, said the restaurant’s owner, that heart attacks can happen to anyone.
“You don’t have to be tremendously old or fat. You can be in your 30s and 40s and die of a heart attack,” said Jon Basso, proprietor of the Grill.
River, the restaurant’s the first unofficial spokesman died of flu-related pneumonia, at the age of 29.
The Sun wrote that other regular customers also have been stricken with health related ailments, including cardiac complaints, although it is impossible to know whether their patronage at the restaurant played a direct role.
Basso said Alleman’s death was a “wake-up call,” but that he would not stop serving “Flatliner Fries” and their famous “Quadruple Bypass Burger”— billed as the world’s “most calorific” at 9,982-calories—as long as there is a public appetite for them.
The Sun reported that both of Alleman’s parents died of heart attacks in their 50s. Despite that medical history, Alleman was a devoted patron, Basso said.
“He never missed a day, even on Christmas,” he said.
NICE PATTIES
Administrator says:
AWD comment
5,4,3,2,1….
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19th February 2013 at 9:51 am
Stucky says:
Wow. I really must go to Vegas some time. Looks like I could eat there for free.
“Quadruple Bypass Burger”— billed as the world’s most calorific at 9,982-calories ….”
I call Absolute Bullshit. ONE POUND of 85% lean hamburger is about approx 975 calories. Even with the cheese (bacon, too?) there is no fucking way to get to a ten thousand calorie burger. Everybody lies …. even burger joints. Jeebus.
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19th February 2013 at 9:59 am
AWD says:
The place will be out of business very soon. People over 350lbs eat free.(1/2 the America population). Great idea, though, encouraging 350lb people to have some ambition in life (eat till they weigh 500 lbs)
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19th February 2013 at 10:02 am
Administrator says:
Am I a bad person because I laughed when I read this story?
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19th February 2013 at 10:05 am
AWD says:
This place has great “service”
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19th February 2013 at 10:08 am
AWD says:
They need Bloomberg in Vegas (and Mooshell)
Bloomberg’s new ads:
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19th February 2013 at 10:13 am
bluestem says:
AWD, you forgot to tell everbody they would have to drive to Waco, Texas for one of the “Ho” burgers. John
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19th February 2013 at 10:20 am
Bostonbob says:
AWD,
These cheesecake factory with nearly 150 locations is one of the worst widespread offenders. They have a number of dishes that top 2000 calories with some close to 3000. Of course the one here in Burlington always is packed.
Bob.
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19th February 2013 at 11:06 am
JIMSKI says:
So I can eat myself to death, worry myself to death, poison myself to death, have the government put me on a list and wack me, or die trying to cross the street to get to my car.
Now which one will be the most tasty?
Actually I am on a reduction plan at the moment. Weight watchers online is working for me. 11 lbs down since the end of the super bowl. Will get back to my married weight when i was just overweight and not clinically morbidly obese and shit.
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19th February 2013 at 11:11 am
AWD says:
Admin (who prefers Pat’s cheesesteaks) throwing AWD a softball post…
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19th February 2013 at 11:21 am
TPC says:
I like cheesecake factory.
My wife and I split an entree, with enough left over that I can have a decent lunch the following day.
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19th February 2013 at 11:26 am
Administrator says:
AWD
Pat’s is too far away. Abner’s is around the corner.
Extra Wiz
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19th February 2013 at 11:36 am
KaD says:
Fried Chicken Laquisha might want to think about trading up for beef.
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19th February 2013 at 11:46 am
Bostonbob says:
TPC,
I do not hate the Cheese Cake Factory. I think that people like you and your wife are the exception to the rule though from what I have seen in there. I worked in restaurants in the seventies and I would swear the plate sizes and portion sizes have almost doubled.
Bob.
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19th February 2013 at 12:00 pm
napari says:
The Sun reported that both of Alleman’s parents died of heart attacks in their 50s. Despite that medical history, Alleman was a devoted patron, Basso said.
“He never missed a day, even on Christmas,” he said.
Looks to me like he did doing what he loved…..live and let die.
RIP
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19th February 2013 at 12:28 pm
AWD says:
I’m proud to be American! How about you?
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19th February 2013 at 12:47 pm
TPC says:
” I would swear the plate sizes and portion sizes have almost doubled.”
I think they’ve skyrocketed in size even since the 90s.
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19th February 2013 at 12:54 pm
GoAheadEnvyMe says:
You and ya fat ass. Yea I called ya fat. Look at me. I look so good naked my own pants try to feel me up. Fatso. Your sex life sucks in direct proportion to the size of your guttage.
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19th February 2013 at 1:28 pm
IndenturedServant says:
Since a chronic ankle problem has essentially sidelined me from most of my favorite physical activities, I have been trying to avoid the junk food and prepared foods as much as possible. Cheesecake however is one tough thing to live without. For years I thought Cyrus O’Leary’s cheesecake was the best I ever had until I discovered something called Three Cities of Spain Cheesecake. It is hands down, the very best cheesecake you will ever have. It is not overly sweet and has a simple sour cream topping on it. I suppose you could add huckleberries or strawberries of whatever else you wanted for a topping but that would only fuck up perfection.
Now, the only time I ever have cheesecake is when I make it myself using this recipe. http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Three-Cities-of-Spain-Cheesecake-102595
I could eat this recipe three times a day, every day but I limit myself to once per year. Give it a try, you will not be disappointed!
I_S
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19th February 2013 at 2:07 pm
AWD says:
Man, I could sure go for a quadruple bypass burger about now….
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19th February 2013 at 5:10 pm
Eddie says:
It’s obviously very bad feng shui to name your eatery the Heart Attack Grille.
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19th February 2013 at 8:08 pm
chupacabra says:
mexican restaurants popularized the jumbo platter, everyone else had to upsize to compete. chipotle’s giant burrito is a california invention. california didn’t invent the sonora dog but adopted it eagerly.
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19th February 2013 at 12:06 am