I don’t know about you, but I’d love to bitch slap this smug motherfucker. When the shit hits the fan I hope this guy is one of the first to swing from a lamppost.
Jamie Dimon Dong-Slaps Inquisitive Analyst in Hilarious Exchange
POSTED: February 27, 2:24 PM ET
By: Matt Taibbi
You just can’t make this stuff up.
So JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon is participating in an investor conference call. This is the semi-regular ritual where a financial executive throws out some already heavily-airbrushed numbers for a select group of financial analysts and then proceeds, over the course of an extended conference call, to further verbally airbrush the already-airbrushed company data. Some of the analysts in these calls mostly toss softballs at the bankers, but some of them have a reputation of throwing the occasional brushback pitch, injecting unwanted or uncomfortable questions into the otherwise well-protected narcissistic bubbles in which these CEOs mostly always live
Not that I know the guy, but Mike Mayo of Credit Agricole is supposedly one of those analysts that people in the industry dislike. “Kind of a dick,” is how one friend of mine described him – but in an admiring way, if that makes sense.
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So Mayo is on this call with Dimon and he asks him a question about capital ratios, i.e. the amount of actual capital a bank has on hand as opposed to debts and liabilities. He notes that the Swiss bank UBS (which just settled in the LIBOR case, but never mind that for the moment) is saying in presentations that because it has more actual capital on hand than certain other banks – like, say, Chase? – customers should feel safer with them.
Mayo then asks Dimon if he agrees with the notion that customers should feel safer with banks that have higher capital ratios:
MAYO: I think when I hear UBS saying in a presentation, if I’m an affluent customer, I’ll feel a lot more comfortable going to a big bank with a 13 percent capital ratio than to a bank with a 10 percent capital ratio, do you agree with that, or disagree?
DIMON: So you would go to UBS and not JP Morgan Chase?
MAYO: I didn’t say that – that’s their argument.
DIMON: That’s why I’m richer than you.
[Raucous laughter.]
This exchange is priceless on many levels.
For one, Dimon’s first instinct is to obnoxiously misinterpret Mayo’s question, putting words in his mouth, which you can tell he thinks is really clever – he thinks he’s mugging for the crowd, showing how easily he can bully Mayo. But actually all he’s done with his “So you would go to UBS and not JP Morgan Chase?” line is admit that his bank has a lower capital ratio than UBS, something that Mayo only implied, but never came out and said openly. So Dimon thinks he’s pushing Mayo around, and thinking he’s a big tough guy doing it, but actually he’s just helping Mayo make his point. It’s classic.
And the “That’s why I’m richer than you” line is a perfect example of how these guys think. Question: You say two plus two is six, but sir, isn’t it really four? Answer: No, because I have a huge cock. [Unzips.] [Raucous laughter.] That’s really the level these guys think at. If Dimon was reading this joke right now, he wouldn’t even be offended, he’d be flattered, that’s how fucking stupid these people are.
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I thought about getting into the fact that inadequate capital ratios at big banks are the very thing that caused the 2008 financial crisis, that Dimon’s own bank required nearly $100 billion in taxpayer help to fill its own gaping capital hole during the crisis, and that Dimon was paying himself $20 million a year while taxpayers and the Fed were forking over untold billions to keep his company afloat – but why ruin the moment? All by itself, this audio exchange is a shimmering red ruby of pure funniness. It’s Dimon’s best performance since his Senate testimony last year, when he couldn’t stop rolling his eyes at the idea that he had to answer questions from this ridiculous group of poorly-groomed bureaucrats, not one of which had so much as his own airplane! His face said it all: You guys are all like 300 years old and you’re all making 170 grand! What have you been doing all these years?
“Yeah, but we make more money than you” has been Wall Street’s official answer to everything for nearly five years now, and one has to admit, they’re getting a hell of a lot of mileage out of it. If you don’t listen to anyone who doesn’t make as much money as you, but you pretty much have to be a giant douche to make that much money, it’s kind of a foolproof system.
Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/jamie-dimon-dong-slaps-inquisitive-analyst-in-hilarious-exchange-20130227#ixzz2MOioNdY7
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AWD says:
Somebody needs to come up with a Jamie Dimon punching bag (that can also be hung from a light post).
“I’m richer than you are” Fucking asshole
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2nd March 2013 at 11:31 am
AWD says:
Regulatory and Criminal government capture:
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2nd March 2013 at 11:47 am
Kill Bill says:
So Dimons great wealth is balanced on 10% capital.
No wonder the financial system is so unstable.
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2nd March 2013 at 1:17 pm
sangell says:
These CEO’s remind me of Anne Richards? sarcastic comment about Bush the First, think it went like this “He was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple”. Being the CEO of mega bank isn’t that demanding a job. A TV game show host like Alex Trabeck would probably be better at it than a Jamie Dimon. You need to be comfortable before audiences and make people comfortable around you. Be able to remember names and chat intelligently.
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2nd March 2013 at 1:53 pm
Ron says:
Id like a few to learn the 308 rule. All the crooks are to smug and dont seem afraid of a bullet blowing theyre brains out. I hope someday a few vets well hunt these fukrs down.I still consider making a site where the crooks and theyre crimes could be listed.
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2nd March 2013 at 3:29 pm
Drowning in Parasitism says:
“…It seems like everyone hates the jews. I side with them as Gods chosen people and im not crazy about Muslims….” – Ron from a prior post
Well… my dear Ron, don’t you yet recognize that Dimon’s one of those beloved, virtuous “Chosenites” (as are virturally all of his fellow, criminal, vampire central-banking brethren) you and your fellow, foolish, Christian Zionists’ so worship? He’s merely revealing the vaulted ego/position that so many like you have excused, permitted and encouraged?
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2nd March 2013 at 3:53 pm
Drowning in Parasitism says:
What I’d like to know is how so many in the audience would find this arrogant prick’s (and premier criminal) simplistic, smarmy response and evasion so funny it was met with “raucous laughter?”
And look at the wording from the bankster-protection racket, Bloomberg News, as though Dimon just pulled off some brilliant zinger over on a witless dimwit analyst: “Dimon Throws Down at Invester Conference” and the talking pundit “analysts” worshipful attitude of Banking God Dimon.
People who still watch such shows and still believe in them as proffering forth useful or impartial “analysis” are sheeple deserving of shorning.
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2nd March 2013 at 4:44 pm
AWD says:
Looks like Jamie and his homies helped finish off Lehman:
Did JPM’s CIO Intentionally And Maliciously Start The Margin Call Avalanche That Crushed Lehman?
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 03/03/2013
It is conventional wisdom that in the days leading to Lehman’s bankruptcy filing on the night of September 15, 2008, sheer panic and utter confusion ruled ever back- and middle-office, over concerns that a counterparty, any counterparty, but especially Lehman, would end up being “not money good”, and the result was that trigger-happy margin clerks had the potential to make or break a company, by demanding just enough variation margin that would send the notice recipient promptly into bankruptcy. It is also conventional wisdom, that it was precisely several such margin calls mostly out of JPMorgan that precipitated the Chapter 7 filing by Lehman brothers, as the firm was finally unable to mask the fact that it was terminally overlevered, and even more terminally illiquid. It is certainly conventional wisdom, that Lehman was certainly massively overlevered, holding billions of overmarked CMBS on its balance sheet, and was doing everything in its power to hold on to precious liquidity, taking every opportunity to window dress its balance sheet as far better than it truly was (Repo 105 at the end of every quarter promptly comes to mind), over fears of avoiding precisely such a margin call onslaught, where the first margin call would cascade into many, likely lethal, margin calls.
Which is why, over four years after the filing of Lehman’s bankruptcy and the fight for who was responsible for what in the Lehman Chapter 7 saga still waging, most actively between the Lehman creditor estate and tri-party repo stalwart JP Morgan, we were not surprised to learn that the Lehman estate had attempted to force yet another sworn testimony from a (former) employee of JP Morgan, in hopes of catching the firm as engaging in a malicious act of defrauding Lehman of precious liquidity in its final hours, or said in layman’s terms, forcing it to liquidate.
What did catch our attention was that Lehman named the infamous JPM Chief Investment Office, and specifically its very infamous trader Bruno Iksil, accountable along with others for the London Whale fiasco, as the person responsible for an initial margin call to the tune of $273.3 million, made the same day “that JPMorgan made its first of two demands that week each for $5 billion of extra cash collateral that it had no right to obtain and that drained Lehman of $8.6 billion” (as per the Lehman filing). One could make the argument that this initial margin call was the straw that broke the camel’s back, as in the avalanche of money requests, every dollar flowing out of Lehman may have been the one that pushed it under.
If, of course, the Lehman estate claim was credible.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-03-03/did-jpms-cio-intentionally-and-maliciously-start-margin-call-avalanche-crushed-lehma
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2nd March 2013 at 7:37 pm