Feminists: Leave My Boys Alone
By Kevin McCullough
3/3/2013
In one corner “traditionalists” who called out the episode as gender and sex confused. In the other “modern feminists” who were offended by almost everything the traditionalists said and believe.
In light of these op-eds and arguments I decided to do a bit of personal surveying for myself.
I popped the question to my bride and her best friend as the two couples were headed to Gramercy (in Manhattan) for dinner on Friday night.
“What do you think about boys playing with dolls?” I asked.
“If the dolls are laying around (belong to another child), then it’s unlikely to bother me,” one of them replied. “If they happen to pick it up, if they are at friend’s homes that are girls then it’s almost unavoidable.”
“But would you ever buy a doll for your young son?” I followed up.
“NEVER!!!” came the reply.
The fervor with which they answered the second question intrigued me. In essence it boiled down to the reality that boys are boys, they are designed to do boy things, and grow from boys into men. Throwing feminine play into the mix delays, interrupts, or intrudes on the development of masculine identity.
In one article Caryn Rivadeneira, writing for Christianity Today, in her even more boldly titled piece, “God Made Boys To Play With Dolls,” she argues that: “When we say baby dolls are for girls, that only girls should cuddle and coo dolls, we claim that babies are women’s domains, that only mothers should rock and coo and play with their children.”
Even though I disagree with her premise, I also disagree with her comparison, and the implied conclusion.
She is arguing that boys should play with dolls because men should become the primary or equal caregivers for newborns? Really?
In a world where abject fatherlessness already exists. In a world where that fatherlessness has single-handidly created the largest welfare state in American economic history. In a world where discernment and wisdom about appropriate sexual behavior is threatening the very well being of our children’s future…
Do we really need to question whether or not women are–by nature–designed to be–better at nurturing children?
There is a fascination with the theological and political left in America to appear to have an absence of judgment against immorality, while simultaneously attempting to judge the theological and political right so as to win popularity with the culture, to appear to be intellectual, and to imply that God would love it all.
But to be candid, we are entering “stupid territory” now.
I even confessed to the girls last night that I imagine it won’t be all that long into the future before someone writes an article for Christianity Today on the idea of allowing the man to carry the baby to term (since it appears to be medically possible) and that in some way some person will write an article defending it as the ultimate sign of feminist justice.
Meanwhile God sits and laughs at us.
Why? Because we are going to such great lengths to go the other way around the universe to arrive at a simple conclusion: “What’s best for children?”
No God didn’t make boys to play with dolls. God created boys to grow up and become strong men who would provide for their family and would protect them from the harmful elements of this life. That is the true core of manhood at it’s most basic element.
But men that I know personally who excel in that, also generally tend to be some of the most tender-hearted fathers I’ve ever seen. Fathers whose children feel their love, appreciate their sacrifices, seek diligently to obey or to make them proud, and even desire to pass on a similar legacy when they become parents themselves.
Sometimes the modern feminist (someone who believes in “sameness” between men and women and NOT “equality”) ties themselves into pretzel-like knots to argue something foolish to replace something traditional–almost always for no good reason.
In life children are a blessing. In training them to become responsible for their own behavior and consequences it is important to groom them with truth. And the truth is few boys who ever became great fathers ever “played with dolls.”
Taking responsibility for your future, owning your actions and behaviors, understanding the choices you make in this life will affect those you love, and preparing them to be ready for it, is what our young men most need to learn.
Miraculously… Having affection for their flesh and blood, learning to be tender with them when they are little and can’t sleep, and loving them with all their heart comes much more instinctually to fathers than most feminists would like to believe.
And I should know…
That humility, affection, tenderness and love grew deeper with all three of my sons, and I never played with dolls.
Kevin McCullough
Kevin McCullough is the nationally syndicated host of “The Kevin McCullough Show” weekdays (now on 304 stations) & “Baldwin/McCullough *LIVE*” Saturdays (9-11pm EST – on 332 stations). His newest best-selling hardcover from Thomas Nelson Publishers, “No He Can’t: How Barack Obama is Dismantling Hope and Change” is in stores now.
napari says:
Masculinity is hot debate in Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculinity
Feminity is not
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminity
This raises more questions than answers.
For example who benefits from neutering male masculinity?
And
Who is driving the debate?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
6 
0
3rd March 2013 at 12:05 pm
Stucky says:
95% of boys who play with dolls will wind up being a homo according to Scientific American.
Girls who play with guns will wind up with internet names like HZK.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
12 
0
3rd March 2013 at 1:21 pm
big Tom says:
the emasculation of the boys starts in grade school, they don’t let any harmless roughhouse in schools now to let the alpha makes start to lead
all are equal and let no boy step out to lead and maybe set an example for the other boys, (sarc)
bullying would be much less as at young age the harm from a minor scuffle would help reinforce appropriate behavior as the response to untoward actions used to be swift and everyone understands a lunch in the nose. been on both ends and I imagine its made me what i am today
my in laws never liked me much , I found out years later from a family friend , they were unhappy that their daughter married a grown man that made a living and took care of his lady and wasn’t dependent on them for anything
I guess I feel this is likely a result of learning to be a man as a young boy back in the day, as most of us did
we now have a nation of 30 and 40 year old little boys, whine instead of strive, give me instead of show me how
ah, just a pointless rant on a cold sunday
end of transmission
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
7 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:03 pm
big Tom says:
punch not lunch, I guess my proofing skills are influenced by lunch time
and I don’t know how to edit posts
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:05 pm
mdt3 says:
Kevin McCullough’s article was well written and I could not agree more. Gender roles and distinctions were put there for a reason and their destruction is just aother nail in the coffin of the traditional American family.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
6 
1
3rd March 2013 at 2:27 pm
Zarathustra says:
As a kid during the first half of the 1960′s, I can remember two dolls specifically designed for boys. GI Joe and Raggedy Andy.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
7 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:41 pm
AKAnon says:
Hey Stuck-my 22 year old daughter can outshoot any of her brothers (I hope they’re not reading this). And if she ends up like HZK, I couldn’t be happier.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
5 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:01 am
anotherjuan says:
this is like closing the barn door after the horse escaped. everything is topsy-turvy nowadays. in the old days we boys played outdoors. we called girls. we did not stay at home while the wife went to work. boys went to the bars, not girls. things are different now. it’s a communal world we live in now. back then, only girls would hang together, sharing every feeling and worry. 1980′s movies – city slickers, sleepless in seatle – painted a new picture of men acting like women with respect to sharing feelings. in our day, boys were expected to grow up to be individuals. i never had a crew. my granpa’s advice was, better off alone than in bad company. individualists, self-reliant person’s are suspect. we’ll see where all this support group thinking takes the u.s.
Like or Dislike:
3 
1
3rd March 2013 at 11:19 am
anotherjuan says:
a side note, the message of the movie ’21, finally’ seems to be the same, be your own man. it made me think that ‘superbad’ has some similar scenes and maybe there is an undercurrent of individuality there. group conflict is often based on the personal choices of certain characters. the moviemakers are criticising group think, either that or they are out of fresh ideas. might as well call it a franchise.
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
3rd March 2013 at 11:27 am
TeresaE says:
OH MY
What UTTER complete bullshit helping to continue the age old (but not nearly as old as most Americans think) falsehood that play CREATES something.
My son hunts, with bow, gun & musket.
My son fixes cars, motorcycles, equipment, appliance and houses.
My son plays way too many video games.
Loves Popular Science, Scientific America and Discovery Magazine. He is also a dues paying member of the MakersMark Society.
My son has always been attracted to women. From nearly birth he was a little flirt and knew how to melt the ladies with his big (blue as a young kid) green eyes and impeccable manners.
And, my son, HAD MULTIPLE FUCKING DOLLS AS A CHILD!
He also (horror!) wore PINK!
He also (further horror!) had to do dishes, cook, clean, laundry.
He also (OMG!!!!!!) BABYSIT for other people’s kids and was considered a better babysitter (because he not only watched and played with the kids, he cooked, cleaned and tried to leave the house better than when he came).
According to WAY TOO MANY homophobic (yep, I said it) MORONS, I was raising him to be “effeminate and gay!”
Fuck that.
He wanted to play with dolls, he also wanted to play cowboys and indians, cops and robbers, tear apart dad’s stuff to see how it works, get dirty.
I raised my son to become HIMself, without societies bullshit about “roles” and such.
Some of the best parents I’ve ever known were men. Some of the worst cooks I’ve ever seen were women.
As far as that goes, some of the most femininely raised girls, complete with the rules of not getting dirty, not playing with trucks, not climbing trees ended up being lesbian.
And, I personally know TWO guys that were NEVER “allowed” to do “girl things” that are gay men.
It has NOTHING to do with toys your idiot parents “allow” you to have.
And playing with dolls has NOTHING to do with the “emasculation” of the modern American male.
I do agree that we have de-balled our men. Same token, we have de-balled our women too. But it has NOTHING to do with “letting” boys play with dolls. Which MOST did in school or daycare anyway.
Whatever, people like good ole boy Kevin crack me up.
And, if there is a god, and karma, these close-minded, neanderthal thinkers (including the wives in the backseat), will have to confront their stupidity in real life. Would serve them right if their little war-mongering, construction workers grew in homosexuals or metrosexuals.
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
3rd March 2013 at 12:20 pm
JIMSKI says:
First of all boys do NOT play with dolls. We play with Action Figures!
Anyone else have a GI-Joe with the Kung-fo Grip ?
I had every Star Trek Figure and the transporter.
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
3rd March 2013 at 1:19 pm
Administrator says:
JIMSKI
Do you play with Ken?
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
3rd March 2013 at 1:36 pm
Eddie says:
When we were kids we played with little toy tanks and hundreds of those little plastic solders (we called them army men) and had huge battles in the flower beds. This is no doubt responsible for American military expansionism.
No? Well, then.
Why would playing with dolls or not playing with dolls have much to do with a man or woman’s gender identity? Dolls are just proxies. They do not give us anything. On the contrary, it is we who give THEM their identities. Based on what we already perceive ours to be.
I remember when G.I. Joe came out. We thought he was so gay…even though we wouldn’t have thought of using that term.
Like or Dislike:
4 
0
3rd March 2013 at 1:37 pm
anotherjuan says:
Eddie says:
“I remember when G.I. Joe came out.”
must’ve been recently, after dadt.
Like or Dislike:
1 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:00 pm
AWD says:
Playing with dolls can be fun!
http://www.boytoydolls.com/main/?page_id=91
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:07 pm
JIMSKI says:
My sister had a ken doll. I used him as the noob that panicked and was shot on night patrol. Shot by the Sgt to save the squad.
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:20 pm
Eddie says:
I couldn’t remember when G.I. Joe came out…had to look it up. (It was 1964. I was eight.) I do remember me and my childhood best friend looking down our noses at the whole idea. We knew we were way too old for dolls by then. We already had BB guns, fer chrissakes. We were up early looking for birds to shoot.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
5 
0
3rd March 2013 at 2:26 pm