When Kerry Lutz turned off the recorder after interviewing me for the Financial Survival Network a few weeks ago, we started talking about a common challenge we both face: getting an entire generation to wake up and see that we have a real problem.
Most seniors and savers readily admit that interest rates are terrible and don’t keep up with inflation, yet – even with the terrible squeeze this puts on their pocketbooks – Kerry and I know of too many people who think their nest egg will manage itself. After working a lifetime to build up their portfolios, many retirees are looking for a “set it and forget it” type of investment that no longer exists.
What would happen if I shared this attitude? On a recent morning walk I found myself imagining what it would really mean if high inflation or sloppy investing were to wipe out our life savings. Personally, worrying about having to live off the government or looking to our children for help would not be the worst of it. There’s a bigger issue at stake, one most folks of my generation would likely agree with me on.
Colette Dowling wrote a book in the 1980s called The Cinderella Complex, and in the early chapters she addresses how my generation was raised. She contends that boys, from the moment of birth, were raised to be independent, citing that boy babies were frequently left to cry much longer than their girl counterparts in newborn nurseries.
For most of us, family roles reinforced the message that men were in charge. Dad drove the family car, Dad sat at the head of the table, Dad was the primary breadwinner, and on most things Dad had the final word.
Gender politics aside, I still remember how good it felt to grow into being an independent young man. I recall the excitement of getting my driver’s license (something no retiree wants to lose), my first car, and all the other symbols of my increasing independence. As I got on the train to leave for boot camp at age 18, my dad remarked that I would be a man the next time he saw me.
Step by step, I became an independent adult. It wasn’t until my 30s that someone finally addressed me as “Mr. Miller,” and it shocked me even then. It’s funny how friends my age call me “Denny,” but with each passing year more folks call me “Mr. Miller.” That’s just the way life is.
Somewhere in the mid-1960s, the woman’s movement really picked up. I always thought bra burning and protests obscured the real message: women also have a right to independence and the same financial opportunities as men. That’s certainly a position I agree with.
When I was contemplating marrying for the second time, my future wife Jo and I decided to visit a marriage counselor. Our counselor emphasized to both of us that the best marriages consist of two adults who can thrive – both emotionally and financially – on their own. That way, both partners know they are together because they choose to be, not because one is totally dependent on the other. Twenty-five years later, Jo and I wholeheartedly agree with that idea.
As I continued to daydream on my morning walk, I realized that being a ward of the state or having to ask my children for help is not what motivates me to do everything I possibly can to protect my portfolio. I spent the better part of 73 years working hard, building a nest egg, and enjoying life. I’ve been the captain of my own ship, with a first mate who is not shy about speaking her mind, and I want to keep it that way. That is what pushes me to protect what Jo and I worked so hard to build.
Shortly after my interview with Kerry, I received an email from one of my ROMEO (“Retired Old Men Eating Out”) buddies, Carmen. It was a link to a beautiful rendition of Frank Sinatra’s My Way by André Rieu. I encourage everyone to click on the link, enjoy the song, and take note of the man shown at the 1:48 and 2:29 marks. He reacted to the song just as my ROMEO brothers and I did.
As I watched that video, I realized just what outliving my money would mean to me. It would strip me of my self-image, rob me of my dignity, and I would feel shame beyond anything I can imagine. It reminded me of how fitting Kerry’s name for his site is: “Financial Survival Network.” Seniors are not only fighting for financial survival, we are also fighting for emotional survival.
Jo and I have discussed what living off the government – our worst-case scenario – would actually look like. Our life would be limited to Social Security checks and food stamps – not what I would call enjoying our golden years. But then Jo reminded me that it could get even worse than that.
Twenty-five years ago, her father had Parkinson’s disease and was in a nursing home. We were paying full price for his care, and as the saying goes, “You get what you pay for.”
Jo’s father usually had his own room, but occasionally he had a temporary roommate. There was always a whisper that the person in the bed next to him was penniless, and the government had required the nursing home to accept him because it had an opening.
Now I’m sure the staff would deny this, but there were obviously two levels of care: the kind you pay for and the kind healthcare workers are forced to give. I will never forget one sad event where his roommate messed his diaper; it smelled so bad we had to track down a nurse to help change it. It doesn’t get much more degrading than that.
Eventually, these down-on-their-luck roommates would be rolled into another room with a similarly situated patient, and Grandpa would have his private room back, along with full control of the television clicker. In almost all of these cases, the patient did have family somewhere in the country, but they never visited. We would often bring them a snack, a piece of birthday cake or something, and they would thank us with tears in their eyes.
The old proverb, “There but by the grace of God, go I” sums up how this all made me feel. I hoped that I wouldn’t end up in the same situation at the end of the line.
Even though Social Security doesn’t come close to keeping up with inflation and our cost of living is rising, I’ll be damned if I am going to give up. If you’re reading this, you probably have the same attitude.
I’m lucky to have the backing of a great research team; together, we do whatever it takes to find the right investment opportunities for our readers. If you haven’t taken advantage of our no-risk, 90-day trial subscription already, that’s okay, I understand. Perhaps you’re the kind of person who likes to “try before you buy”. And starting today you can do with a free copy of my Money Every Month plan. This plan outlines how you can set up your portfolio so you’re getting income payments every month. It tells you what to look for in income generating investments, when to schedule payments, and even a few suggestions you should consider for getting started. You can get your copy HERE.
We all need to make sure our nest eggs outlive us. Learning and sharing with my peers is the fun part of my job, and I’m confident our team can help you make your money last. The alternative certainly stinks!
Pirate Jo says:
Before I run out of money, become a ward of the state, or wear diapers, I will not be too chicken to kill myself. In fact, I think it quite likely that I will be forced to take such measures someday to avoid just such an outcome.
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12th March 2013 at 1:32 pm
KaD says:
I have a durable power of attorney for healthcare and a Do Not Resuscitate order filed with the county. When the times comes no extensive measures need be taken. No life support, no machines. I’m a believer in letting nature take its course.
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12th March 2013 at 1:58 pm
Eddie says:
Another damn good reason to own a firearm.
The only time I ever think about retirement is when I read these Casey infomercials. I’d rather spend money on prepping than put it in any market I know of these days. I do still fund a few small vehicles, but my good sense tells me they are a losing proposition.
I don’t plan to retire unless forced to do so. When I cease to be useful and productive I hope for a quick and easy exit. I’d love to be productive until I’m quite old, but one never knows. One day at a time.
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12th March 2013 at 2:04 pm
johnQpublic says:
i was going to get the DNR tattoo but my wife freaked the fuck out
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12th March 2013 at 2:13 pm
IndenturedServant says:
Hell I’m only 46 and I can identify with nearly everything he wrote. As a boy scout I got a healthy dose of reality visiting nursing homes and the like.
Like most of the posters, I too would rather ventilate my own brain-pan when/if the time comes. I never thought about the DNR tattoo before. I think my wife would be good with it though. When I do die, my carcass will go directly to The Body Farm and she is good with that so a DNR tat is not a big reach.
I_S
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12th March 2013 at 5:15 pm
JIMSKI says:
@ Pirate Joe
You will not have to kill yourself. just run with scissors ( at a cop )
http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/st-petersburg-police-shoot-man-they-say-was-suicidal/2108146
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12th March 2013 at 5:15 pm
Zarathustra says:
The DNR tattoo is a good idea unless you want to live on massive painkillers after most of your ribs are broken from CPR.
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12th March 2013 at 5:19 pm
Pirate Jo says:
@ JIMSKI,
“Police shoot man they say was suicidal” – I was expecting an Onion article!
I was just thinking I’d walk out into a snowstorm one night and go looking for some of my dearly departed pets. I’d know my mission was accomplished when I found them.
That isn’t being “suicidal” – it’s what the natives used to do, back when people dealt with the end of life in a civilized way. Bedpans, whatever. Those are for cowards. I’ll take ownership of my own death just like I’ve taken ownership of my own life, warts and all.
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12th March 2013 at 5:31 pm
lsmf says:
Pirate Jo- That’s what my Dad always said, he would drive into the river before anyone ever had to look after him. The heart attack/mild stroke arrived before he new what happened. He spent the next 8 years pretty much doing nothing- but he required plenty of care.
I asked him in the seventh year if he was happy to be alive still and he said yes and that he wanted to live forever. He could still have driven (into the river at least) and he had guns. So I’m left to believe that we may not want to be a burden but it rarely works out that way.
Plus we were happy to have him for the final 8 years (well 7 were good)
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12th March 2013 at 5:46 pm
Muck About says:
@PJ: Just don’t be in too big a hurry. I’ve been a great believer in “self-deliverance” myself and maintain the way to do it. I wouldn’t use a gun and intend to peacefully fall asleep in my own bed and just not wake up..
Besides, knowing you over the years, I’d miss you like crazy!
The way I work it is that every day, I put all the good stuff in the right hand and bad shit in the left hand. As long as the right hand wins, I’ll be around another day. When the left hand wins — and there IS NO POSSIBILITY of it ever coming back, then I put things in order and exit quietly with as much family as can be gathered to have a party before hand..
MA
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12th March 2013 at 6:09 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Muck! Hey homey, what’s up? I’m glad to see you posting again, and if I didn’t say it before, I love the cute little pig avatar with the red boots.
No I am not in a hurry. I’m only 42 for godssake, so it’s still a long way off. The world’s turning into a rotten place to be a human, and my job is a tedious bore, but I still enjoy life mostly, and have no desire at the moment to die.
And Ismf, I’m glad things worked out okay for you and your dad.
But note Ismf is talking about a time in the past, as his father has now passed away. It’s going to be another 40 years before I turn 82, and hiring someone to wipe my cranky, belligerent ass in my old age would be an expensive proposition. I believe that by that time the government will no longer be able to print/borrow the money to pay for such things for oldsters like me.
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12th March 2013 at 6:51 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Oh, and MA, not to be morbid, but what means do you currently possess that you could employ to die peacefully in your sleep? Not that I’m going to go out and buy it right now! I’m sure it would be way past its expiration date by the time enough decades passed for me to use something like that. Just curious.
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12th March 2013 at 6:54 pm
SSS says:
Damn, what a morbid thread, thanks to the Muckster and PJ.
“After working a lifetime to build up their portfolios, many retirees are looking for a “set it and forget it” type of investment that no longer exists.”
—-from the article
Well, of course many retirees would like to “set it and forget it.” I’m one of them. I have enough trouble worrying about how to keep a golf ball inside the state boundaries of Arizona without having to worry about how my 401(k) is performing, which is so-so. So-so translates to beating the annual inflation rate by 2-3%. And throwing an occassional chunk of change at physical silver.
At any rate, the bottom line to this latest consternation of current (Muck) and future (pirate jo) retirees about their financial security points to one villain …. the fucking federal government.
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12th March 2013 at 7:32 pm
Llpoh says:
PJ’s butt will look something like this in forty years:
By then you will not even be able to get a Mexican to wipe something like that.
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12th March 2013 at 7:34 pm
SSS says:
Llpoh says:
“PJ’s butt will look something like this in forty years.” (with photo of the rear end of an elephant)
WTF brought that on?
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12th March 2013 at 7:40 pm
AWD says:
In forty years, the boomers will all be dead (hopefully). Between then and now, there stands $210 trillion (with a T) in unfunded liabilities. That means the government has promised $210 trillion in Medicare and Social Security that it doesn’t have, and hasn’t set aside. It’s a ponzi scheme, and the job market, cheap energy, and our economy are all drying up. The ponzi scheme will end much sooner than you think.
We’re not far off from serious austerity, where pensions aren’t paid, entitlements are seriously cut or done away with, and SS and Medicare will be restructured into something much different (see Paul Ryan plan). If you don’t have some tangible assets, you will have nothing. The fool and idiot will keep waiting for the government to provide for them, and that just isn’t going to happen anymore. Better get used to it folks.
An interesting read on the subject if you have the stomach for it:
Guest Post: Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Americans Can’t Afford the Future
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-03-12/guest-post-lets-stop-fooling-ourselves-americans-cant-afford-future
Baby boomers are the final nail in the coffin, the turd that will clog the plumbing, the obesity that will bankrupt Medicare. Retiree numbers are set to double:
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12th March 2013 at 7:48 pm
Llpoh says:
SSS – PJ above mentioned the cost of wiping her belligerent, cranky ass in forty years time when she turns 82. Come on, keep up with the threads. To lighten the mood, I thought I would show her what her ass will likely look like in forty years. Damn, everyone is a fucking critic. Gotta explain everything around here.
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12th March 2013 at 7:52 pm
AWD says:
Lipoh’s butt will look something like this come summer:
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12th March 2013 at 7:53 pm
Llpoh says:
AWD – looking at your chart, are you saying Hispanics are gonna die off entirely? Please do not say you lumped them in with whitey – they will not like being so classified.
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12th March 2013 at 7:55 pm
AWD says:
BTW,
DNR tattoos don’t work. They aren’t legal documents. Don’t blame me, blame the fucking lawyers.
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12th March 2013 at 7:57 pm
Llpoh says:
AWD – that photo is quite accurate, but you left out the hottie that will have her hands all over that ass when I walk the beach:
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12th March 2013 at 7:58 pm
AWD says:
Here’s an earning chart with a decent time-line. Maybe you can explain were the $210 trillion is going to come from to pay for 80 million retirees.
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12th March 2013 at 8:00 pm
AWD says:
With Obamacare, and 84% of doctors either retiring or quitting medicine, you WILL get sub-standard care, from a PA or nurse practitioner that spend 6 weeks in school.
So, I recommend this tattoo (if you’re going to get a tattoo)
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12th March 2013 at 8:02 pm
AWD says:
Girls don’t care what your ass looks like, or how old you are, if you got the CASH baby!
Lipoh and filly from his stable
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12th March 2013 at 8:05 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Oh Llpoh has always been an ornery old fart.
I will have you know, I ride a bike! My butt will probably never look like that, because I ride too much, but I also drink too much, so there’s no knowing what my belly will look like. Also, I’m genetically predisposed to a sagging neck. So far it hasn’t gotten tragic in its crepe-like-ness, but it’s in the cards.
If someone like pink bikini babe ends up being the one to wipe my ass, well I doubt it, because I’ll never be able to afford my own plastic surgery, let alone what those boobs must have cost her (or her parents).
Bah humbug, you haters! I am going to go love on Holly-berry the pug. At least she knows a gentle heart when she rubs her grody eye boogers against it.
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12th March 2013 at 8:06 pm
Outtahere says:
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one that doesn’t plan on dying pissing on myself in a fucking
“nursing home”. While it’s not something that I dwell on, I decided a long time ago that I would determine when it was time to check out. The last thing going through my mind will be a .357 Magnum at 1200 fps; shouldnt’ take long “front to back” at that speed.
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12th March 2013 at 8:11 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Jeez, that purple bikini babe, with the old guy’s hand on her butt. The look on her face! And here I thought it sucked to have a boring job. I hope he at least lets her have a dog and an allowance.
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12th March 2013 at 8:12 pm
Llpoh says:
PJ, I did find this photo of an old bike rider’s butt for reference:
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12th March 2013 at 8:18 pm
Llpoh says:
Please also note how low she has to tie the strap to the top. Things must be sagging something fierce up front.
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12th March 2013 at 8:20 pm
Zarathustra says:
PJ, you just broke one of the prime internet rules. Never admit anything that can be used against you in the future.
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12th March 2013 at 8:35 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Nope, the tan lines aren’t right. That’s not a biker’s butt. If you were a biker you’d know.
You must be having a bad day, or you wouldn’t stoop to this … giving this kind of shit to a nice middle-aged lady like me, and trying to make me have fears for the future.
At any rate, it’s not going to work, because I live in Iowa, and we don’t have any beaches for me to embarrass myself at.
What is that gal wearing on her head???
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12th March 2013 at 8:37 pm
Pirate Jo says:
I am getting old, well at least middle-aged. How does anyone USE that AGAINST me? Might as well complain about math.
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12th March 2013 at 8:42 pm
Eddie says:
“I am getting old, well at least middle-aged. How does anyone USE that AGAINST me? Might as well complain about math.”
You’re starting to sound like a Boomer. Just sayin’.
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12th March 2013 at 8:51 pm
Llpoh says:
Hey, I’m not trying to make you feel bad, PJ. I’m sure your hot. But I own my own factory, and I make fat stacks of cash. I start waving it around, and the young girls come running. Going to an Ivy league school has it’s advantages. Who says money can’t buy you love? The women my age need geritol; not much fun at the beach either, dried up old hags. It’s America! The land of the free.
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12th March 2013 at 8:54 pm
Llpoh says:
If you can afford it, why not have some beautiful eye candy in bed?
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12th March 2013 at 8:58 pm
Llpoh says:
PJ – ornery old farts get that way because there are nagging old women. Men are naturally good natured, peaceable, and calm. But after forty years of “pick up your socks”, “you need to drink less beer”, “take out the garbage”, “you never listen to me” (damn, how are we supposed to listen while we are busy picking up socks and taking out garbage? Plus they never stop talking. Never. We cannot listen all the time. We have three chairs in our house. The missus sits in the middle. I use the other two so as to change ears lest I go deaf.). ( if you are reading this, honey, I am only joking!).,etc.
Cranky old women make cranky old men. Every life long batchelor I have ever met is happy with a sunny disposition.
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12th March 2013 at 8:59 pm
Llpoh says:
Nice doppel. Could not have said it better. Would not say it at all within earshot of she who must be obeyed. I am brave, but not stupid.
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12th March 2013 at 9:01 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Well Llpoh, good on ya, maybe I had you confused with Muck, who still loves the sweetie he’s had all his life.
And Eddie, don’t give me that Boomer shit! I am not one of them. I’m smack in the middle of Generation X, not that it’s worth anything. The Boomers at least had hope for a while.
If people in their 60s and 70s feel old, they are lucky, because most of their lives were good. People my age are starting to feel old already, and you haven’t seen anything yet. When you are only 42 and any hope for a better future has drained itself out of the bathtub, well, there is a lot of life left over at the end of the hope.
Just saying, that’s how it is for people my age. Strauss & Howe would agree. My only advantage is that I have a good dog, and she has cancer.
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12th March 2013 at 9:08 pm
Llpoh says:
PJ – love her dearly. But women never give up – never. Men marry women because we love them as they are. Women marry men warts and all, and set about getting rid if the warts. Men are too dense to realize they have warts – those are just beauty spots to us. So given we do not know we have any warts, we tend not to be able to get rid of them. And seeing as women never give up – they are a patient lot – it makes for interesting times.
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12th March 2013 at 9:13 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Llpoh, what happened to your wife? Did she get like that or was it from the beginning? I thought you had been married happily for a long time. I have always been jealous that it seemed like you had a cool job.
Pick up socks? The absurdity. That only needs to be done once a week.
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12th March 2013 at 9:18 pm
Llpoh says:
Women think men do things intentionally. That we men are devious. That could not be further from the truth. Men are true simpletons. We are lucky to focus on one thing at a time – our next meal, beer, sporting event, etc. to be devious requires an ability to multi-task. How many men do you know that can do that?
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12th March 2013 at 9:18 pm
Llpoh says:
PU – nothing happened! She is the same old sweetie as ever she was. But she wants socks picked up. And I have trouble seeing socks. And women never give up!
By the way, my job sucks. Thirty five years of doing stuff that is incredibly difficult to do. Firings, difficult customers, suppliers, govt regs, people issues, etc ad nauseum. I am nearing the point of throwing in the towel.
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12th March 2013 at 9:23 pm
Llpoh says:
Sorry – the PU was not meant as anything. A typo. Sorry PJ.
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12th March 2013 at 9:25 pm
Pirate Jo says:
Well Llpoh, just pick up the socks, at least to the extent that you can still see them! Tell her if she has such great eyesight, she should be pulling one for the team!
(And then DUCK!)
If you ever want to hire a controller, let me know. I’d take that shit on.
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12th March 2013 at 9:34 pm
Llpoh says:
PJ – see! I am not even married to you and you tell me to pick up my socks.
As far as telling her to “pull one for the team” she might take that a bit different than you intend.
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12th March 2013 at 10:40 pm
SSS says:
Pirate Jo and Llpoh
Get a room.
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12th March 2013 at 10:53 pm
Llpoh says:
And they call me cranky. SSS is a killjoy.
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12th March 2013 at 11:13 pm
Makati1 says:
Ah, the arrogance of Americans! You would rather die than move down the ladder of economic lifestyle? I have news for you. You are going to and soon.
All of those ‘retirement’ plans are going to go away when the SHTF and the dollar goes the way of Charmin. You can feel comfort that the government is going to confiscate them first and then dole out what they think you deserve, that is, until the SHTF and there is nothing to dole out. You won’t need to worry about the government or kids supporting you, They won’t be able to.
So, if you are under the age of 80, think about how YOU will handle that world? Suicide would be a good way to do it, and many millions will. For me, I am happy at subsistence level living as it is better than the alternative. ^_^
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12th March 2013 at 11:33 pm
IndenturedServant says:
Muck said:
” I wouldn’t use a gun and intend to peacefully fall asleep in my own bed and just not wake up..”
I alternate between using a gun or a more peaceful method. There are certain recreational substances that will do the trick quite nicely.
I hope I’m too old and decrepit to do it but I always figured that when the time comes, going to my worst enemies house, cutting my wrists and doing jumping jacks while spinning in a circle in every room of their house would be fun. At the moment, my ankle is too fucked up for jumping jacks and I don’t have time in my life to maintain enemies.
I_S
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12th March 2013 at 1:55 am
ragman says:
Makati: what SHTF scenario do you envision?
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12th March 2013 at 8:56 am
Pirate Jo says:
“I am happy at subsistence level living as it is better than the alternative.”
That’s just, like, your opinion, man. If you are happy with subsistence level living, you are welcome to it. I have absolutely no interest. I can’t believe how everyone goes on about how they’re going to survive in hell after TSHTF. Who in their right mind would want to?
It has less to do with moving down the ladder of economic lifestyle, and more to do with physical and mental decrepitude and a complete loss of independence.
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12th March 2013 at 10:56 am
Eddie says:
I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding about so-called “subsistence living”. Most people presume that being unplugged from the matrix, living on a tiny bit of electricity, and growing your own food would somehow be far inferior to driving an hour and a half back and forth to work and stretching to pay for gas and food and cable TV, and living from paycheck to paycheck.
It’s mostly in one’s perception of what’s valuable, imho. All my prepping plans assume that I will greatly reduce my need for the currency. I will do this by paying off my mortgages, going to solar power, and growing my own food. Property taxes will never go away…so I will always need to generate some income…but not much.
It sounds freer than the way I live now.
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12th March 2013 at 11:29 am
Pirate Jo says:
Agreed, Eddie – I think of it as not having enough to eat, or living in poverty.
I would love to grow my own food, but live in a condo and don’t have a place where I can plant things, except for one or two pots on the patio. But I live in Iowa, where there are lots of farmers, and hope that someday if the grocery store shelves are empty they will accept silver for food.
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12th March 2013 at 11:38 am
DaveL says:
I’m set for my future needs with an excellent long term care insurance policy. It costs me a co-pay of $8.00 every three months and comes in a bottle of 90 pills. There is no expiration date because I use one a night to sleep and renew it every three months. But, it is guaranteed that if I take 30 in one night, I will need no long term care.
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12th March 2013 at 12:24 pm
anotherjuan says:
Llpoh says:
“AWD – looking at your chart, are you saying Hispanics are gonna die off entirely? Please do not say you lumped them in with whitey – they will not like being so classified.”
hispanics are not a racial group, the designation is a matter of convenience but the qualifications are fluid and self-reported. hispanics can be black, white, chinese, brown and in between. as children, we were taught to write “white” as our ethnic makeup. but that was to satisfy integration goals. it’s bad enough for us mexicans to be lumped in with the cubans and puerto ricans. we mexicans are proud of our mestizo heritage, a mixture of indian and european. we are continually straddling the fence with the saying, “ni de aqui ni de alla” neither from here nor from there, outsiders everywhere. we love to make fun of ourselves, of other mexicans and we love gringolandia, la reconquista, the reconquering of the americano southwest is our own manifest destiny.
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12th March 2013 at 2:58 pm