I talked to my older son last night, the one who has struggled mightily with some mental issues. He has made remarkable progress in the past several months. He sent me pictures of his apartment. It’s a lovely place … he can see a bit of Lake Michigan in the distance … and nicely decorated.
But, he called to tell me about a small setback – a very minor one actually – and he said he was afraid he was going to slip back into his old ways.
I said to him, “Nonsense!!!”. I told him how proud I was of him that he never game up, despite the horrific crap he’s been through, and that he wasn’t going to start now. I reminded him of the old Japanese proverb that I have beat into his head many years hence; “Nana korobi ya oki” — fall down seven times, get up eight.
That’s not necessarily about “winning”. It’s about remembering that when times are dark, there IS a way out. That there are no quick fixes in life. That anything of real worth will likely take much struggle, and perseverance. Success does not have to be fast. It’s more important that he continues to do his absolute best and remain persistent. I encouraged him to reach down deep within himself — which is the best source of motivation — gather strength for one more battle, and say ‘go to hell’ to whatever voices try to keep him down.
Then, I told him to log on to youtube, and we watched this video together, and he was moved by it. I hope a few of you like it as well.
Stuck
+1000
Thank you very much.
My computer wouldn’t play the video, but your article brings home the fact that it isn’t what circumstances life brings us but who we become, in dealing with those circumstances, that matters. It sounds like your son is getting there, good luck to him.
That vid was amazing! Thanks for posting it.
Great video. I am so glad that video played on my computer.
With the support you give your son I am sure he will be fine.
The fella in the video certainly had the 3 D’s.
Desire, discipline, and determination…awesome comeback!
Much luck to your kid and an awsome post stuck!
TY I really needed that today…
Stuck, it sounds like your son has come so far that he at least recognizes danger signs. I’m sure that is new(ish) as mental illness and/or substance abuse tends to dull the human ability to recognize patterns and make the choice to pursue them, or not.
Being at least aware is PHENOMENAL, please emphasize that to him, it is a wonderful, encouraging, beautiful sign!
Having grown up under – what I am recently beginning to recognize – two mentally unstable parents (each in their own special way, with their own fucked-up upbringing leading the charge), and feeling not-quite-so-stable at different points in my life, I am rooting for your son, and for you.
For some reason (could be my darling daughter watching some nickelodeon crap on netflix), I can’t play much of the video but was able to garner from what I could see, that this man healed his body – and hopefully his mind, maybe I’ll get to see the video later 🙂 – from some traumatic injuries through exercise.
As a (relatively recent) converter to DAILY exercise, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, this is NOT “new age” hype and bullshit, it has done wonders to bring me out of my decade long funk), and supplements that DIRECTLY support my mental health (our food supply sucks), I just cannot tell you how wonderful I feel. No magic pill, no talking to a health professional that would label my beliefs about what is coming “insane,” no shortcuts. Just solid principles based on centuries old health and wellness, and one foot in front of the other finding acceptance and forgiveness of myself.
I am mustering healing and strength from the universe and shipping it across the state to your son, and across the eastern seaboard to you.
xo
Excellent advice from a dad that really cares. He is very lucky to have you for a father.
The human body is capable of almost anything when it comes to rebuilding itself. Biggest thing is one must start today, not tomorrow.
Awesome video. Hope things work out for the best for Stucky and his family.
To all
Your kind words and your own stories have been a balm to my soul. Thank you. I hope to read more late tonight. I have to go see my parents immediately. It appears my dad fell off the porch stoop and is not feeling well. Fortunately, it does not appear any bones are broken.
juan … I’ll do the Tower of Babel story next Sunday. lol
Glad you feel better and I hope your son and dad are alright.bb
Stucky says:
To all
“Your kind words and your own stories have been a balm to my soul. Thank you. I hope to read more late tonight. I have to go see my parents immediately.”
“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise:
and so Herr Stucky gives us a sermon much more valuable than if he had written a thousand words.
it is obvious he has been a good example for his son. well done, buddy, well done.
Stuck, was feeling kinda down the past few weeks – tired of the struggle and not getting ahead in this shit bag economy – working harder now than ever before and earning less than 20 years ago. Last night I went to a McDonalds for a couple of chicken wrap sandwiches. On the wall was a poster of Mr. Ray Kroc and some words of wisdom from him “There is nothing in this world that can take the place of persistence”. And then today this video from you. Must be a ‘PERSISTANCE’ theme going on here in the universe. Thanks for taking the time to write your little story and to post that video. I have sent your post to my grand daughter who is going to be a freshman in high school in a few days, and needs all of the inspiration that she can get. She loved it ! THANKS STUCKY ! YOU MADE MY DAY !
Stuck,
Great support for your son. Physical illnesses usually heal, but never mental illness. It’s a constant battle unfortunately. All you can do is show up every day and be there every day for them. We all have our crosses to bear. And when things get tough, we find out who are real friends are. And then, of course, without pain and misery there can be no happiness and joy. Keep up the good fight.
Stucky,
Glad to read that your son’s doing better.
Most important, I think, is that you’ve Stuck With him and Believe In him. A young man needs that. Someone, his Dad especially, who keeps reminding, “You’ve got it in you; you can do it,” is often the difference.
Best wishes…
T4C –
he said his dad fell down the stairs, even one step or two hurts quite a bit whether any bones are broken or not. i imagined he was downplaying it so as not to alarm anyone, especially himself. mollie graham said any fall is a ‘shock to the system’. all we can do is stand by.
Yes, it was a long day .. after that trip we went to celebrate Ms Freud’s daughter-law’s birthday … and I was pooped when when we got home.
My dad is bruised up a bit, but A-OK. He was on the porch step .. only 3 steps high … trimming an evergreen bush. He leaned over and lost his balance and fell. Fortunately, there was a bush there to break his fall. lol
I’ve never seen a thread where every post was colored that pretty orange. Way cool!!
Stucky
Sorry I missed this thread yesterday. I am enjoying a long weekend in Georgia visiting some adorable grandchildren and their parents.
Kudos to you for being a tower of strength for your son. I read somewhere that the primary role of the parent of adult children is to be a cheerleader for their achievements, obviously a role you continue to perform well. The video is a gem I will be passing on and will use during my own down days.
T4C
I went through Alzheimer’s with my dad, and know well the living hell you are experiencing. I watched my mother, his primary caretaker, suffer from the extreme stress it caused her, negatively affecting her own health too. I wish I had arranged for her to get several hours of relief every week much earlier than I did. I encourage you to also try to find a way to get some time off for your own health’s sake. I know you deal with sorrow, resentment, then guilt, around and around. It’s a challenge hard to describe to others. On the other side of this you will feel good about the love and care you gave your mom.
Absolutely awesome stuck!
That guy is one tough mutha to be that far gone but to change his life and takeback control from the negative nomentum is absolutely incredible.
Back in my teenage years watching wcw &wwf i liked DDP and from this and seeing him help jake the snake he seems to be a genuinely good person.
When i get home i will be putting on TSB and sharing it with as many people as i can.
Thanks for sharing this fine vid.
I love this post, Stucky. Thanks for sharing this with us. I have tremendous respect for your son. As one who has a dear young relative with similar issues and who has made tremendous progress and has fought his way through great misery, I empathize and I’m very heartened.
Love to you both.
I was born in the mid-sixties with no bones in my legs. A panel of doctors told my parents I’d never walk; and that I was mentally retarded and should be institutionalized. The bones grew in and I took my first steps when I was four. I learned to read shortly thereafter. The doctors know a lot but they don’t know everything.
TC4: http://www.alz.org/care/
KaD
That is an absolutely AMAZING story. You’re my new hero.