My nephew and his wife got married a little over a year ago. They are a sweet couple, just getting started in life. They got the great news that they were going to have twins, due in April. A girl and a boy. My brother would be a grandfather (with me constantly reminding him of this fact) and my mother would be a great-grandmother. On Christmas Eve something went terribly wrong. The babies had to be delivered 14 weeks premature. Rachel and Braydon were both 1 pound and rushed to Children’s Hospital of Phila, one of the best children’ s hospitals in the world.
Rachel died on Christmas morning after spending less than 24 hours on this earth. Braydon continues to hang on. Life isn’t fair. Why did this happen? How can it possibly be part of a greater plan? Why did my dad get 86 years on this earth and his great-grandchild got less than 24 hours?
She will never know what great parents she had.
She will never experience the anticipation of Santa coming to her house and the joy of opening her presents.
She will never get a chance to get her feet wet at the Jersey shore and build a sand castle with her dad.
She will never be able to knock over her brother’s army soldiers that he spent hours setting up.
She will never get the chance to see the happiness of her parents when she brings home straight A’s on her report card.
She will never get to go to the Father/Daughter dance at her high school.
She will never experience her first kiss.
She will never experience true love, marriage and having kids of her own.
Christmas will now always be a sad day for my nephew, his wife, my brother and our whole family. I fail to comprehend how this fits into God’s plan. It seems so random and cruel. As I sat listening to the sermon on Christmas morning, the words of the priest seemed hollow and lacking. I’m angry, but I’m not sure who to be angry at. We will all say the usual things, that she is in a better place, it was God’s will, her suffering is over. I’m not buying it. How could this be God’s will? What kind of God would inflict this kind of pain and suffering on a young couple just starting out in life? It is a mighty big cross to bear.
Every day, I’m less sure about everything. I truly hope Rachel is in the arms of her great grandfather in heaven. Hug your kids and live every day like it will be the last, because life isn’t fair.
Kill Bill says:
Sorry to hear about your families loss. My condolences to all of them.
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26th December 2010 at 12:09 pm
SSS says:
A tragic and untimely loss for your family. My deepest sympathy to all.
My sister was killed in an auto accident in 1964 at age 22. She was on her way to a surprise engagement (for her; her boyfriend had already informed my parents and me about his intentions). It happened on Christmas day. I still grieve deeply for her. It never goes away.
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26th December 2010 at 12:26 pm
StuckInNJ says:
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Ms Freud’s daughter, after having miscarried on four other occasions, finally gave birth to a baby girl 7 weeks premature last Dec 27th. That child also lived less than 24 hours. Ms Freud’s dad commited suicide (40+ years ago) on New Years Day. Christmases are generally not the most joyous around here … if we choose to go that route. But we try not too … because we too have questions of “why??” … but one thing we are sure of is that life is precious … neither of us KNOW we are not even guaranteed tomorrow … so, a million times yes, Jim, give your wife, your kids, your mom, your dad and everyone a hug today and every day. Beyond family, Jim, not much else really matters. My sincerest hearfelt condolences to you and your family.
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26th December 2010 at 12:32 pm
DavosSherman says:
Prayers are with you all.
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26th December 2010 at 12:33 pm
MuckAbout says:
This (as opposed to these) tragedy would seem unbearable. My sympathy to you and your family.
Sadly, in my view, life is a cosmic crap-shoot and sometimes bad things happen to the very best people. It is a human condition. I’m very sorry for your loss.
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26th December 2010 at 12:44 pm
KaD says:
I’ve had my moments too; but one thing I do know is that Gods plan is greater than our eyes can see. The babies may have passed on but we all hold each other again in time. No one stands in the light eternal with a broken heart.
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26th December 2010 at 12:50 pm
Jmarz says:
Sorry about the loss. When I hear stories like this one, I wonder how my perspective on life would change if I were ever in these situations. Life can certainly feel unfair at times with no acceptable explanation. She is in a better place now and my heart goes out to her family.
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26th December 2010 at 12:58 pm
Matt says:
sincere condolences to your family.
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26th December 2010 at 1:46 pm
ragman says:
I don’t think we will ever understand why things happen the way they do. Good things happen to bad people and very bad things happen to good people. I’m very sorry for your loss.
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26th December 2010 at 2:13 pm
Viet Vet-70 says:
Jim: Please pass my condolences to your brother and his family, to you and your family, I am truely sorry to hear about the sadness of their loss and will say a prayer for their son.
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26th December 2010 at 2:31 pm
Watchdog says:
Jim,
I am truly sorry for this devastating loss to you and your family. There is nothing more to say.
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26th December 2010 at 2:57 pm
AKAnon says:
Very sorry, Jim. The title of the piece says it all.
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26th December 2010 at 3:26 pm
hugh betcha says:
when you get past the worst of the grief please look into vaccines, soy, etc… did the county spray for bugs this summer? other chemical exposures?
it use to be very rare to miscarry so late in the term, but in recent decades the numbers are off the chart.
identifying a link to some external exposure may not provide any sollice i know, but then again it can guide you all in precautions for the next child.
soy is a toxic mix of female hormones and knowing nothing about her diet i sure can’t say… worth a look though.
sadly if one of these external exposures links for you then you can place blame where it belongs. our gov’t and directly the fda
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26th December 2010 at 3:34 pm
Darwin's Money says:
Jim,
Sorry to hear of this profound loss. Very sad. Best wishes to your family, and holding out hope for Braydon.
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26th December 2010 at 3:46 pm
flash says:
My sincerest condolences to your nephew, his wife and family .
For what it’s worth I like to think the spark of life to be much like electrical energy which
can neither be created nor destroyed only tethered into service for a short while.
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26th December 2010 at 4:06 pm
Reverse Engineer says:
As with when your Dad passed into the Great Beyond, the words of Ozzie best fit:
“Leaving, I hate to see you cry
Grieving, I hate to say goodbye
Dust and ash forever, yeah
Though I know we must be parted
As sure as stars are in the sky
I’m gonna see YOU when it comes to glory
And I’ll see you, I’ll see you on the other side
Yes I’ll see you, I’ll see you on the other side”
Painful as this may be for those left on this side, this is not a wonderful time to be born into this world. She goes as an innocent into Eternal Glory in the Kingdom of Heaven.
My condolences to all in your family.
RE
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26th December 2010 at 5:05 pm
KayGeeJay says:
May you all find peace.
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26th December 2010 at 9:31 pm
Opinionated Bloviator says:
“Life isn’t fair.” Very true and those who expect it to be fair will be the first to get kicked in the teeth over and over again.
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26th December 2010 at 5:16 am
mikeinaz says:
James,
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
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26th December 2010 at 11:21 am