THIS SHOULD DO WONDERS FOR HOME VALUES

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Posted on 2nd April 2013 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

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I bet these people feel like Jed Clampett. Up through the ground came a bubbling crude.

EXXON PROFITS

6 comments

Posted on 1st February 2013 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

Nation Happily Reassured That ExxonMobil Made Profits Of $44.9 Billion In 2012

‘Thank God!’ Relieved Citizens Report

News in Brief • business • ISSUE 49•05 • Feb 1, 2013

HOUSTON—According to reports from across the nation, all 315 million residents of the United States exhaled in relief and expressed a contented sense of reassurance Friday on news that the ExxonMobil Corporation had recorded nearly $45 billion in profits last year. “Oh, thank God!” said visibly relieved part-time drug store cashier Helen Gregory of Youngstown, OH, who called the oil and gas multinational’s total revenues of $483 billion “deeply comforting” and “a true blessing,” echoing the sentiments of every other American from coast to coast. “I can’t tell you how good it is to know that the world’s largest corporation is still unimaginably profitable. Now I can finally get some sleep and stop worrying.” In spite of ExxonMobil’s positive earnings report, every single person nationwide confided a slight sense of disappointment that the company’s annual profits were only the second-highest in corporate history.