KARL ROVE

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Posted on 9th November 2012 by Administrator in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

Heavily Armed Karl Rove Spotted At Top Of Electoral College Clock Tower

November 8, 2012 | ISSUE 48•46 | More News

WASHINGTON—Sources confirmed this afternoon that a heavily armed Karl Rove has positioned himself atop the Electoral College clock tower and is planning to pick off at least 50 electors with a high-precision sniper rifle.

Wearing a black tactical ammunition vest with multiple submachine-gun magazine pouches, a holster containing an extra semiautomatic handgun, and several M67 grenades clipped to the chest, Rove reportedly walked up 27 floors to the top of the clock tower, which overlooks the Electoral College’s main quad area and offers the Republican strategist a perfect vantage point to assassinate electors as they exit the Swing State Dining Hall and the Twelfth Amendment Science Building.

Law enforcement officials said Rove appears to be primarily targeting Electoral College attendees from Ohio and Florida.

“Mr. Rove is armed, extremely dangerous, and, we believe, mentally ill,” said lead FBI agent Peter Coburn, adding that his team is working with Electoral College Campus Security to move the institution’s 538 enrolled electors out of harm’s way. “Several witnesses who saw Mr. Rove begin his ascent to the top of the clock tower said he looked stone-faced and was muttering something about making good on his promises to Republican super PAC donors everywhere and to Jesus Christ almighty.”

“We are currently unable to get inside the clock tower because Mr. Rove has destroyed several flights of stairs with plastic explosives,” Coburn added. “Either way, we are urging all Electoral College attendees to stay inside the Red and Blue Dormitory until further notice.”

According to FBI representatives, evidence of Rove’s assassination plot was discovered inside the Fox pundit’s off-campus studio apartment. Amidst old newspapers, weeks-old pizza boxes, and rats, agents said they found an Electoral College yearbook in which multiple faces had been crossed out with red X’s.

In addition, officials discovered several composition notebooks filled with Rove’s psychotic musings, including his 2004 plans to seize control of the entire country, and a passage in which he graphically describes how he wants to slit Electoral College president Nate Silver’s throat and then bathe in his blood while staring at his naked body in the bathroom mirror.

One notebook, sources confirmed, was just page after page of the words “Hamilton County” written over and over again.

“You don’t call a state with 991 votes between the candidates,” Rove wrote. “You don’t do that. You never do that. And if you do, I’m not the one who’s crazy. You’re the one who’s crazy. You are the one who must be stopped. You are part of the liberal conspiracy trying to take hold of this nation. And I will be the one to murder you and the children you wanted to abort. I will be the one who stops the madness. I will rain bullets and hellfire on your heads. Say goodbye.”

As the standoff continued, FBI agents said they were having difficulty getting through to Rove—a 2000 Electoral College graduate and basketball standout—and told reporters that special reinforcements needed to be brought in.

“Karl, come down from there,” said former president George W. Bush, shouting into a bullhorn. “I love you. And I know you love me. I would be devastated if I lost you, so don’t do something stupid. We just have to come to terms with the fact that the Republican Party needs to change dramatically in order to win these general elections. We have to be more inclusive. We can’t tell women how to live their lives, and we have to be more gay-friendly ”

At press time, Rove detonated one of his grenades, destroying the clock tower and sending his dismembered body parts cascading to the ground.

DEATH OF OLD GUARD REPUBLICANS

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Posted on 18th September 2010 by avalon in Economy |Politics |Social Issues

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Buchanan is absolutely right. The idiots like Rove and Cheney destroyed the Republican party with their warfare and welfare policies from 2000 through 2008. They doubled the national debt, rolled out the most social spending programs since LBJ and murdered 5,000 young Americans with their wars of choice. The establishment thought they would pull the usual strings this year. They are dead wrong. They will be swept away. The old order will be destroyed in the next 10 years. They will flail about, lie, and throw temper tantrums like Rove and Kruathammer threw last week. It is time for these morons to step aside. They’re done. FINISHED!!!!

Rockefeller Republicans

by Patrick J. Buchanan
by Patrick J. Buchanan 

 

   

Is the Republican establishment losing it?

Is the party leadership capable of uniting a governing coalition as Richard Nixon did before Watergate and Ronald Reagan resurrected in the 1980s?

Observing the hysteria and nastiness of Karl Rove and the GOP establishment at the stunning triumph of Tea Party Princess Christine O’Donnell, the answer is no.

This party is not ready to rule.

Consider. In its grand strategy to recapture a Senate that George W. Bush and Rove lost in 2006, the GOP Senate leadership endorsed all its own caucus members for re-election, if they chose to run, then picked out all its favorite candidates for the open and Democratic seats.

Conservatives and tea party activists, however, had other ideas. They began to pick their own candidates. And, again and again, the Senate’s chosen were rejected in favor of tea party challengers who had the endorsement of Sarah Palin or South Carolina’s Jim DeMint.

Arlen Specter was rejected by the Pennsylvania GOP and left the party. Rand Paul routed Sen. Mitch McConnell’s man in Kentucky. Charlie Crist was challenged by Marco Rubio in Florida. Crist, too, departed. Sen. Bob Bennett was denied renomination in Utah. Sen. Lisa Murkowski lost her primary in Alaska to a little-known fellow named Joe Miller.

But Delaware was the stunner. Rep. Mike Castle, a former two-term governor who had been winning elections for 40 years, was a certain victor in November.

Challenger O’Donnell, however, ended all that.

 

Yet, though her conservative credentials are far superior to those of Castle, O’Donnell was made the object of a wilding attack by National Review and the Weekly Standard, Charles Krauthammer, who lashed out at Palin and DeMint for “irresponsbility,” and Rove, who on Sean Hannity’s show went postal as soon as the returns came in.

Now, on paper, O’Donnell is a far tougher sell in Delaware than is Castle. But her defeat is not certain. Not in this volatile year.

And what is the justification for the savagery of the attacks on her, from her own?

What has this woman done? Did she vote for Sonia Sotomayor or Elena Kagan for the Supreme Court like Lindsey Graham? Did she support the Obama stimulus like Olympia Snow and Susan Collins? What did she do to deserve the trashing?

The answer is not distant.

To the Republican establishment, tea party people are field hands. Their labors are to be recognized and rewarded, but they are to stay off the porch and not presume to sit at the master’s table.

And what O’Donnell did, with her amazing victory, is to imperil that establishment’s return to power. That is why these Republicans went ballistic.

O’Donnell’s conservative convictions and Castle’s social liberalism mean nothing to them.

They are about power and all that goes with it.

And that raises a question too long put off.

What is the Republican establishment going to do, what are the neoconservatives going to do, if returned to power?

Are not these the same people who assisted George W. Bush in stampeding the nation into an unnecessary war that got 4,400 Americans killed to strip Saddam Hussein of weapons he did not have?

Are these not the same people who misled or deceived us about Iraq’s role in 9/11?

Are these Republican scribes and senators not the same folks who went all-out for NAFTA and GATT and the WTO and MFN and PNTR for China, those brilliant trade deals that gave us $5 trillion in trade deficits, wiped out 6 million manufacturing jobs and 50,000 factories in one decade, and put us into permanent debt to China?

Are these not some of the same folks who backed the Bush-McCain amnesty and did nothing for 20 years, as millions of illegals invaded America? Now that all America is on fire, they too want to “build the dang fence.”

Are not the National Review and Weekly Standard scribblers and their neocon comrades of the mainstream media not now drumming up another war for Americans to fight, against Iran?

Are these not the same folks who went along with No Child Left Behind and the biggest run-up in social spending since Great Society days?

Beltway Republicans say they have learned their lesson. But the tea party folks and conservatives who vaulted O’Donnell to victory are saying: You had your chance. Now, move aside for new leaders.

Why is the tea party wrong – and the establishment right?

The first tea party rebellion was the Barry Goldwater movement. When it triumphed at the Cow Palace, Nelson Rockefeller denounced the movement as riddled with radicals, baited the Goldwater people at the convention and refused to endorse the nominee.

A decade later, Vice President Rockefeller got his payback, when conservatives demanded that President Ford drop him off the ticket as the price of renomination. Ford agreed.

In its contemptuous response to O’Donnell’s victory, the GOP establishment of today looked like nothing so much as the Rockefeller Republican establishment of yesteryear. Its time is coming, too.

September 18, 2010

Patrick J. Buchanan [send him mail] is co-founder and editor of The American Conservative. He is also the author of seven books, including Where the Right Went Wrong, and A Republic Not An Empire. His latest book is Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War. See his website.